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Cystic acne on and off for 15 years I've had it

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#1 ooominhooo


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Posted 14 January 2011 - 07:55 PM

I've had cystic acne on and off for 15 years and I just have a terrible complexion in general even when I'm clear for a few weeks. I'm scarred physically and emotionally so deeply I don't think I could ever recover. I have much sympathy for people with cystic acne but there's not much that I can do for them. I've been on and off of accutane 3 times with moderate success but no cure. You go through these phases of thinking you've found some weird magical cure with supplements or changing your diet but generally those are temporary measures and the "good" temperary results are mostly based on a placebo. Our quiet desperation and impatient optimism drive us to look for cures and spend our money on products that typically do not work. Everyone writes you off quickly if you have bad skin and stare and your pimples, cysts, scars whatever.

Dating is almost out of the question now. Jobs are harder to get. If people without acne really knew what it felt like to have this awful disease life would be a little easier. The reality is most people don't have acne and are completely ignorant of the reason why or how you have it. This place is hard enough to live with normal healthy skin. They just know that you look kind of gross and judge you accordingly. I'm at the end of my rope. I feel like a leper.

Edited by ooominhooo, 14 January 2011 - 08:02 PM.

#2 annique



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Posted 15 January 2011 - 05:57 PM

sad.gif I know how you feel. I had severe (cystic on face, arms, chest and back ALWAYS) acne from the age of 10 to now (22)... I reckon probably in the top 10% of severity of anyone on this site. Its a lot better now, thanks to dianette and good skincare, but the experiences I had in school will never go away, even though I have gotten through that period of my life. So yeah, I know how you feel... I've had acne now for over half my life. The irony is, that right now my skin is worse than 95% of people, and to me, its fantastic!! It probably seems disgusting to most "normal" people, but when you have been through what I have, just being able to wear a sleeveless top in public is AMAZING. I don't think I can tell you anything helpful really... My life pretty much sucks at the moment. Even though my acne is now ok, I have quite bad depression (which I strongly think stems from how bad my life was in school, mainly due to acne), and it ruins most things for me. I so, so agree with you that unless youve experienced it you CANT understand. people used to say things like "why dont you wash more?" etc.... sad truth is 95% of people really do think you can get rid of acne by washing or using some stupid cream, and that somehow you've just a disgusting, unhygienic person sad.gif

Anyway, sorry for blabbing on, just thought you might like to know you're not the only one, and I'd be really happy to chat to you if you want someone to talk to about it. feel free to pm me and I can give u my email or something if u want smile.gif

#3 BeautifulPerseverance619



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Posted 15 January 2011 - 06:44 PM

Keep on with what you are doing, don't give up; Fight that nasty disease until it's gone totally.

Edited by BeautifulPerseverance619, 15 January 2011 - 06:47 PM.

#4 Guest_Zapotee_*

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Posted 17 January 2011 - 09:27 PM

I understand how you feel so well. I have been battling cystic acne for about 16 years. It started mostly in my chin area. I would get this dime sized contiguous deep cysts all over that area. The inflamation would be so severe that my chin/ lower jaw area would look asymetrical. At times I would get inflammed pustules in my cheeks and forehead to go with the deformed chin.

I avoided mirrors for such a long time... I felt so deformed and misunderstood.

Thru treatment I caught a break about 10 years ago. The chin area calmed down but I would still get deep inflammed cysts in my cheeks and forehead. They would be up to the size of a quarter.

I have been on every conceivable topical cream, antibiotic, home remedy, diet change under the sun. I still get the occasional comment of " oh you really have to stop touching your face or my favorite" well, why don't you wash your face really well?"

I had several derms just give up on me with the speech of "you know, acne is not curable, it can only be managed".... Haven't we all heard that line!

It wasn't until 2 years ago, that I met a doctor who told me that she will never give up on me until she saw me clear, when I realized I had hope. I was clear for about a year, on a combination of different topicals and antibiotics. I felt so alive and willing to take on anything...

Unfortunately, the antibiotics stopped working, that's when she said to me: We are doing accutane and here we are.

I just begun my 6th and final month. I believe I might have a chance of remission. I am hoping and praying that this scarring disease will soon be a distant memory.... I am so tired of not feeling normal, of being afraid of mirrors, of having to put my mask on so I can look presentable.

We have to believe there is hope...

#5 xn.



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Posted 19 January 2011 - 06:27 AM

Jobs are harder to get. This place is hard enough to live with normal healthy skin

Spot on. I have been told- humans are social animals. But how can I be social if people run away from me? Thinking that im not washing myself and this is contagious? Its they who are not social. Why its me that must take all the blame- no job, no friends, judgement? Of course the people that turn you down would never say "its your skin, scars", they make up other reasons like "personality".

Thanks to accutane its getting better now. I wish I had memory loss.

Edited by extasy_crysis, 19 January 2011 - 06:34 AM.

Every prayer accepted and each wish resigned.

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