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#41 SEVEN_SECONDS_AWAY!

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Posted 12 February 2011 - 03:29 PM

i agree with you man, you see there are tons of people who are in a worst place than us. but keep this in mind that you shouldn´t feel good about yourself just because you see somebody who is in a worst place than you, that´s not how life works, if you are going to feel good about yourself than do it, but do it because life is good not because you see someone in a worst place than you.

i remember a girl from my school she had severe acne and one time she took a look at one of cameron diaz´s pictures when she didn´t have no makeup and you could see her acne and my friend said now i feel much better about myself cause she is a celebrity and she still has acne. and i was like you shouldn´t feel good about yourself just because someone is in the same place as you or in a worst place.

what i mean by this is, that what would have happened if you didn´t see that girl with one arm, you will still now feel depressed? you need to learn how to feel good about yourself without the need on looking someone in a wheel chair, disfigurated, with one arm, one leg etc. i 99% agree with you in everything you said, but the thing that i didn´t like was that you felt good about yoursel when you saw that girl with one arm. that tells me that you don´t really have confident in yourself and that you need to see someone in a worst place than you so you would feel good about yourself. that´s not right man, i know that is a good example to see people with disabilities so we would accept more who we are and we wouldn´t complain about our looks, but sometimes we shouldn´t feel good about ourselves just because we see someone in a worst place than us. is just how it is.

#42 simpliciteey

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Posted 12 February 2011 - 04:46 PM

QUOTE (Nicky D @ Aug 3 2010, 08:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey guys.

For those of you who don't know me I am a long term member of the org. I've been here since 2002.

The aim of this thread here is to share some knowledge on how to deal with acne and the psychological effects. I want everyone to know that you can beat it and be happy.

Brief history on me. I've had acne since i was 13. I am now 26, i still have acne but i have it under control. I use the DKR which keeps me clear. Now days i do it when i can be bothered as i'm not that bothered about acne anymore. It's more physically painful when i shave if i let it get out of control as opposed to it damaging me mentally.

I've read a lot of people's stories on here, infact i remember posting a few "help me" threads when i was 18 trying to deal with it.

One thing that sticks above all else is how everyone allows acne to control them. I've been there as well. It kept me in my house for 2 years and i was depressed as hell. I spent so much time online that my online life felt more real than my actual life. However this lead to a downward spiral. I got so comfortable with my online life i started lying to people and making stuff up, albeit i would use real aspects of my life and just glamourised it.

Spending your life inside your house and on the net is not the answer. It is the worst thing you can actually do.

So why does acne destroy us mentally? Well i've come to the conclusion it's laregely down to the world we live in where we see actors on t.v who look perfect and are beatiful. We see adverts advertising beauty products and we are conditioned to believe this how we have to be. However i would say 10% of is our own ego as well. Real people don't look like this. Real people are not photoshopped to look good. No one is perfect, everyone has inperfections on their body.

The day i started to accept my acne was a day that changed my life. It was just a normal day. Everyone was out working or having a good time and the world was passing me by. I had a bad breakout that day and was feeling very low. I was coming back from my local shop and across the street i saw a group of friends laughing and joking and having fun. One girl in this group caught my eye. She only had one arm but she couldn't be any happier. I thought to myself this girl has got it a lot worse than me and look how she is enjoying her life. She had lost an arm and didn't have a care in the world.

From that day i started putting things into perspective. It took me about a year to get fully back on my feer but i got my life back. After a while breakouts just didnt bother me anymore, i just refuse to let it stop me.

We have to keep in mind that there is always someone worse off than us. Most of us have a family, a roof over our heads, we know where our next meal is coming from. I make this assumption because everyone who can read this has computer and internet access so things can't be that bad. You have to take stock of what you have in life and make the most of it.

Life is too short to let is pass you by. You have to accept that you might have acne the rest of your life. If someone told you that you only had 6 months left to live would you sit there and feel sorry for yourself or go and make everyday count? Acne is a horrible thing but it will not kill you and i for one refuse to let it stop from living. I will not be hostage to it ever again.

You are the only one who can help you. Websites like this can support you but you have to walk through that door, you have to make yourself better. The more you sit there and do nothing the harder it will be.

I was in the pits of depression 5 years ago. Now i have great friends, good family, a good job, a nice car. i go to the gym, I go out most weekends and i just bought my first house. I'm not boasting i'm just letting you know what can be done in 5 years and that you can do this to.

I'm not saying i'm anyone special, i'm not saying i'm anyone's saviour. I'm just a guy who chose to change the way things were. I may lose and lose big but atleast i can say that i tried.

thank u smile.gif

#43 Tangerine

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Posted 12 February 2011 - 05:50 PM

QUOTE (RideonTime! @ Feb 12 2011, 03:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i agree with you man, you see there are tons of people who are in a worst place than us. but keep this in mind that you shouldn´t feel good about yourself just because you see somebody who is in a worst place than you, that´s not how life works, if you are going to feel good about yourself than do it, but do it because life is good not because you see someone in a worst place than you.

i remember a girl from my school she had severe acne and one time she took a look at one of cameron diaz´s pictures when she didn´t have no makeup and you could see her acne and my friend said now i feel much better about myself cause she is a celebrity and she still has acne. and i was like you shouldn´t feel good about yourself just because someone is in the same place as you or in a worst place.

what i mean by this is, that what would have happened if you didn´t see that girl with one arm, you will still now feel depressed? you need to learn how to feel good about yourself without the need on looking someone in a wheel chair, disfigurated, with one arm, one leg etc. i 99% agree with you in everything you said, but the thing that i didn´t like was that you felt good about yoursel when you saw that girl with one arm. that tells me that you don´t really have confident in yourself and that you need to see someone in a worst place than you so you would feel good about yourself. that´s not right man, i know that is a good example to see people with disabilities so we would accept more who we are and we wouldn´t complain about our looks, but sometimes we shouldn´t feel good about ourselves just because we see someone in a worst place than us. is just how it is.


I don't think it's so bad to use these things to gain a little perspective ... not to feel like you are better than this other person, but just that although we aren't that blessed to be acne prone, we have a lot of beautiful abundance blessings in our lives that we tend to ignore or forget.


#44 Canadian Bacon

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Posted 14 February 2011 - 01:10 AM

QUOTE (dianabol @ Sep 2 2010, 01:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I agree w/ the above poster

I will never accept acne or bad skin

I must be perfect

Only then will I be truly happy


You'll never be happy then. I have yet to come across the perfect human being and highly doubt I ever will. Nor will anyone else as they don't exist.

And good post Nicky. I remember you from back in the day and you were a good poster back then too. Staying inside and online really is unhealthy and I agree that one can live through an Internet persona and lose touch with reality. I've been down that road myself when I was younger. Anyways, nice to hear things are going so well for you and hopefully more people follow your advice. Acne is devastating but it doesn't mean your life is over because of it.

#45 SEVEN_SECONDS_AWAY!

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Posted 14 February 2011 - 05:07 PM


I don't think it's so bad to use these things to gain a little perspective ... not to feel like you are better than this other person, but just that although we aren't that blessed to be acne prone, we have a lot of beautiful abundance blessings in our lives that we tend to ignore or forget.
[/quote]

i didn´t mean it in a mean way but we have to learn how to fight against acne without having to take other´s examples like people with one arm etc. what would had happened if we had acne but there weren´t no people with disabilities??? how are we going to react? if we are going to be strong we need to stand up for ourselves without looking at others disabilities. you misunderstood completely my point.

#46 Flying_HiGh

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 12:06 AM

QUOTE (Tangerine @ Feb 8 2011, 01:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This thread is about accepting how things are now, even though they are less than optimal, and still enjoying life WHILE you're searching for the cure, because you never know how long that will take.

You never know, self acceptance may be your cure.

Very well said! As we all know acne treatment could be a very long process,we need to be strong and patient and to love ourselves and stay positive. I know it's not easy but it is definitely less painful.

Nicky, great thread, it took me years to come to that same conclusion. I wish I had found this place earlier, I feel so much better knowing I'm not alone in this world. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, my days are getting brighter!

To those who don't believe they can accept acne: while you guys keep staring at the mirror hating yourself, somebody will take your dream job or steal your girlfriend not because he is better than you, but because he is confident and has learned to live with his imperfections.

Never stop smiling.

#47 o Havoc o

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 06:39 AM

QUOTE (Canadian Bacon @ Feb 14 2011, 08:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (dianabol @ Sep 2 2010, 01:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I agree w/ the above poster

I will never accept acne or bad skin

I must be perfect

Only then will I be truly happy


You'll never be happy then. I have yet to come across the perfect human being and highly doubt I ever will. Nor will anyone else as they don't exist.

And good post Nicky. I remember you from back in the day and you were a good poster back then too. Staying inside and online really is unhealthy and I agree that one can live through an Internet persona and lose touch with reality. I've been down that road myself when I was younger. Anyways, nice to hear things are going so well for you and hopefully more people follow your advice. Acne is devastating but it doesn't mean your life is over because of it.


Hey man. I remember you as well. Hope all is good your end.

Thanks for the kind words.

QUOTE (Flying_HiGh @ Feb 17 2011, 07:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Tangerine @ Feb 8 2011, 01:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This thread is about accepting how things are now, even though they are less than optimal, and still enjoying life WHILE you're searching for the cure, because you never know how long that will take.

You never know, self acceptance may be your cure.

Very well said! As we all know acne treatment could be a very long process,we need to be strong and patient and to love ourselves and stay positive. I know it's not easy but it is definitely less painful.

Nicky, great thread, it took me years to come to that same conclusion. I wish I had found this place earlier, I feel so much better knowing I'm not alone in this world. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, my days are getting brighter!

To those who don't believe they can accept acne: while you guys keep staring at the mirror hating yourself, somebody will take your dream job or steal your girlfriend not because he is better than you, but because he is confident and has learned to live with his imperfections.

Never stop smiling.


Thank you.

I am happy that you are getting through your issues. It's a liberating experience.

Sorry it took so long to reply to this. I had some things I had to go deal with.

As some people have disagreed on here. They don't believe adapting is the answer! Well I had to adapt to my current situations to be happy. I am stronger for it again.

Fact is we will always have issues to overcome. They can take years to get over but we have to push on.

With hope anything is possible.

#48 o Havoc o

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 06:48 AM

QUOTE (sweetchildomine @ Feb 8 2011, 12:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey guys!
I actually commented on another post about a month ago about something similar to this topic. I talked about my father who outgrew his acne. My dad has beautiful, extremely low maintenance skin today, but he has tonnes of pitted scarring from the acne he had suffered from when he was younger.

I feel as if all I do is share the stories of acne-proned people in my life. But I feel the need to do it, because in all honesty, they are the ones who have left the most lasting impression on not just me, but the people around them as well.
I have an aunt who at 40, STILL has acne. She is one of the most INCREDIBLE women in the world, and I'm not just saying that to pompously "glorify" or like Nicky said, "glamourise" her.
Despite having acne and very oily skin, she is so unbelievably beautiful. What makes her extremely attractive (yes, she's had her share of boys chasing after her) is her attitude towards life.
She's never met her dad, she had to live with her relatives when she was younger (due to their financial situation), and she also lost her mother when she was only in her 30s.
Yet, when you talk to her, NEVER and I mean NEVER will you feel any form of insecurity or discomfort radiating from her personality. She has always said that life is beautiful, and it's meant to be lived with gratitude. Every single week, she does an extensive prayer of ONLY thanksgiving. No requests, no complaints, just PURE thanksgiving to what she has.

She has never let acne stop her from living her life. She's now a very successful worker in her field (I'd like to keep her profession private), and has 2 beautiful children. She loves to eat, so she'll eat whatever she wants. Life is absolutely WAYYYY too short to deprive yourself of the joys that it brings to you.
I know for a fact that if/when my aunt clears her acne, it would NEVER change her personality. Her state of happiness is not reliant on any external circumstances. She is quite lucky that she's one of those people who considers herself lucky, and sees all of life's events as miracles.
I will also add that despite what we see and what we're meant to believe in television, my aunt has NEVER been taunted by her acne. If anything, almost everyone agrees that she's a very beautiful woman.

Anyway, to go back to Nicky's topic about learning to accept acne. To me, each of us reach a certain level of clarity, which may be the clearest we can be. Some can go to 100%, others 80%, etc. It's kind of like our natural body shape. I think we all have a natural "clear skin" shape at certain points of our lives. Maybe one day it'll get clearer, but we should never get stagnant and wait for that day to come, because we're not gonna be here for very long. Our time will come eventually, and you don't want to look back on these years and realize how much you've missed out on the beauty of our world.
Do what you can to get it clear. Surely, with all those efforts that you've put into, at least one of them is bound to work. To those that work, stick to it and forget the rest. Enjoy life. Seriously, you deserve it.
And remember, don't let ANYONE ever make you feel ashamed about yourself and your decisions in life.
If you choose to go on Accutane, then no one SHOULD ever stop/scare you from your decision to do it. Same thing for birth control, diet changes, topicals, etc. But don't obsess! This holds especially true for the younger members out there, who are around my age (20s). Historical observations have revealed that the brain is at its most "agile" around the 20s age. Wouldn't you want to use all of that brain power to good use? Learn a language. Master an instrument. Provide education to children who don't have the means to it.
Because one day, we will all perish.

Okay, I think this post has been going on for too long now. Sorry if it got a little dramatic towards the end, but I wanted to add my 2 cents, because there doesn't seem to be a lot of spiritually overcoming acne topics on here.

Nicky, your story is SOOOO moving. I will honestly hold you near and dear to my heart for the rest of my life.


Awwww thank you. I hope it helped you.

Your story is also moving.

QUOTE (Tangerine @ Feb 8 2011, 08:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I agree with the OP. He's a smart guy.

There is a difference between accepting the acne, and doing nothing to get rid of your acne. You can still treat your acne, but the problem is that people get so wrapped up in the spots and the final outcome of being clear that they don't live. We think we'll live when we get rid of it, and that life isn't worth living without clear skin, but there is a small chance we'll never get clear and then what? Would you be happy having wasted your life worrying about acne? If so, good. Do what you want, it's your life. But the OP chose to be happy and that's awesome.

This thread is about accepting how things are now, even though they are less than optimal, and still enjoying life WHILE you're searching for the cure, because you never know how long that will take.

You never know, self acceptance may be your cure.



Again sorry for the hugely late replies.

Thank you.

Wise words and fully agree with you wink.gif

#49 Bodie81

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:12 PM

Hey guys.

For those of you who don't know me I am a long term member of the org. I've been here since 2002.

The aim of this thread here is to share some knowledge on how to deal with acne and the psychological effects. I want everyone to know that you can beat it and be happy.

Brief history on me. I've had acne since i was 13. I am now 26, i still have acne but i have it under control. I use the DKR which keeps me clear. Now days i do it when i can be bothered as i'm not that bothered about acne anymore. It's more physically painful when i shave if i let it get out of control as opposed to it damaging me mentally.

I've read a lot of people's stories on here, infact i remember posting a few "help me" threads when i was 18 trying to deal with it.

One thing that sticks above all else is how everyone allows acne to control them. I've been there as well. It kept me in my house for 2 years and i was depressed as hell. I spent so much time online that my online life felt more real than my actual life. However this lead to a downward spiral. I got so comfortable with my online life i started lying to people and making stuff up, albeit i would use real aspects of my life and just glamourised it.

Spending your life inside your house and on the net is not the answer. It is the worst thing you can actually do.

So why does acne destroy us mentally? Well i've come to the conclusion it's laregely down to the world we live in where we see actors on t.v who look perfect and are beatiful. We see adverts advertising beauty products and we are conditioned to believe this how we have to be. However i would say 10% of is our own ego as well. Real people don't look like this. Real people are not photoshopped to look good. No one is perfect, everyone has inperfections on their body.

The day i started to accept my acne was a day that changed my life. It was just a normal day. Everyone was out working or having a good time and the world was passing me by. I had a bad breakout that day and was feeling very low. I was coming back from my local shop and across the street i saw a group of friends laughing and joking and having fun. One girl in this group caught my eye. She only had one arm but she couldn't be any happier. I thought to myself this girl has got it a lot worse than me and look how she is enjoying her life. She had lost an arm and didn't have a care in the world.

From that day i started putting things into perspective. It took me about a year to get fully back on my feer but i got my life back. After a while breakouts just didnt bother me anymore, i just refuse to let it stop me.

We have to keep in mind that there is always someone worse off than us. Most of us have a family, a roof over our heads, we know where our next meal is coming from. I make this assumption because everyone who can read this has computer and internet access so things can't be that bad. You have to take stock of what you have in life and make the most of it.

Life is too short to let is pass you by. You have to accept that you might have acne the rest of your life. If someone told you that you only had 6 months left to live would you sit there and feel sorry for yourself or go and make everyday count? Acne is a horrible thing but it will not kill you and i for one refuse to let it stop from living. I will not be hostage to it ever again.

You are the only one who can help you. Websites like this can support you but you have to walk through that door, you have to make yourself better. The more you sit there and do nothing the harder it will be.

I was in the pits of depression 5 years ago. Now i have great friends, good family, a good job, a nice car. i go to the gym, I go out most weekends and i just bought my first house. I'm not boasting i'm just letting you know what can be done in 5 years and that you can do this to.

I'm not saying i'm anyone special, i'm not saying i'm anyone's saviour. I'm just a guy who chose to change the way things were. I may lose and lose big but atleast i can say that i tried.


I have just stumbled upon this old thread and can honestly say that out of all the posts that I have read whilst I have been on acne.org, this is just about the best and most inspiring.

Like you, I developed acne at about the age of 12 or 13 and was bullied at school both verbally and physically because I had acne. It has led to a life long hatred of myself and obsession with acne and my skin.

I won`t bore you with the tale but over the years because I had acne and couldn`t accept it, I have isolated myself socially, lost friendships and messed up the only two long-term relationships that I have had.

For years I thought that everything would be ok once the acne cleared up. In the past few years it has cleared up quite a lot but because I concentrated solely on clearing my acne and not working on myself, I am still obsessed with both my skin, appearance and diet and in all honesty my acne getting better did not make me any happier.

After the break-up of my last relationship, I have led a very lonely and isolated existence - not ideal but it was comfortable and the social situation that I was in did not require me to challenge my obsessions. However in February of this year, an event totally out of the blue totally rocked my equilibrium. It wasn`t pleasant and it made me feel extremely sad, miserable and lonely but the upshot of it was that I finally realised that I have been wasting and missing out on life and need to totally rid myself of the obsessions that I have and finally learn to accept myself otherwise I will never be happy and acquire the things that I want in life.

I am not as strong as you were TakeToTheSkies so I am having counselling and will in the near future be commencing CBT in order to assist me. I do get what I call "interludes" where I just think fuck it - I don`t care what people think. However on other occasions, the negative thoughts are still too ingrained and overpowering. It is very much a work in progress.

Right now I am a guy in his thirties who is lucky in enough to have a job, his own home and a great close-knit immediate family. I want other things but the only way I`m going to acquire them is by ridding myself of my obsessions learning to like and accept the way I am.

My story is sightly different to yours and because I have left things a lot longer, it may take me more time to completely rid myself of my obsessions and learn to accept myself. However, just reading about where you came from and what you achieved in the space of five years is a great source of inspiration.

Edited by GUNNKE, 08 December 2012 - 04:18 PM.


#50 cartita

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Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:50 AM

What you said here is like what i've wrote.

"2 choices when it comes to dealing with acne. You can hide and be miserable and be stagnant in life, and "wait" to do things and move forward in life because of the quality of your skin, or you can just say FUCK IT."

Edited by cartita, 09 December 2012 - 09:51 AM.


#51 o Havoc o

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Posted 10 December 2012 - 07:42 AM


Hey guys.

For those of you who don't know me I am a long term member of the org. I've been here since 2002.

The aim of this thread here is to share some knowledge on how to deal with acne and the psychological effects. I want everyone to know that you can beat it and be happy.

Brief history on me. I've had acne since i was 13. I am now 26, i still have acne but i have it under control. I use the DKR which keeps me clear. Now days i do it when i can be bothered as i'm not that bothered about acne anymore. It's more physically painful when i shave if i let it get out of control as opposed to it damaging me mentally.

I've read a lot of people's stories on here, infact i remember posting a few "help me" threads when i was 18 trying to deal with it.

One thing that sticks above all else is how everyone allows acne to control them. I've been there as well. It kept me in my house for 2 years and i was depressed as hell. I spent so much time online that my online life felt more real than my actual life. However this lead to a downward spiral. I got so comfortable with my online life i started lying to people and making stuff up, albeit i would use real aspects of my life and just glamourised it.

Spending your life inside your house and on the net is not the answer. It is the worst thing you can actually do.

So why does acne destroy us mentally? Well i've come to the conclusion it's laregely down to the world we live in where we see actors on t.v who look perfect and are beatiful. We see adverts advertising beauty products and we are conditioned to believe this how we have to be. However i would say 10% of is our own ego as well. Real people don't look like this. Real people are not photoshopped to look good. No one is perfect, everyone has inperfections on their body.

The day i started to accept my acne was a day that changed my life. It was just a normal day. Everyone was out working or having a good time and the world was passing me by. I had a bad breakout that day and was feeling very low. I was coming back from my local shop and across the street i saw a group of friends laughing and joking and having fun. One girl in this group caught my eye. She only had one arm but she couldn't be any happier. I thought to myself this girl has got it a lot worse than me and look how she is enjoying her life. She had lost an arm and didn't have a care in the world.

From that day i started putting things into perspective. It took me about a year to get fully back on my feer but i got my life back. After a while breakouts just didnt bother me anymore, i just refuse to let it stop me.

We have to keep in mind that there is always someone worse off than us. Most of us have a family, a roof over our heads, we know where our next meal is coming from. I make this assumption because everyone who can read this has computer and internet access so things can't be that bad. You have to take stock of what you have in life and make the most of it.

Life is too short to let is pass you by. You have to accept that you might have acne the rest of your life. If someone told you that you only had 6 months left to live would you sit there and feel sorry for yourself or go and make everyday count? Acne is a horrible thing but it will not kill you and i for one refuse to let it stop from living. I will not be hostage to it ever again.

You are the only one who can help you. Websites like this can support you but you have to walk through that door, you have to make yourself better. The more you sit there and do nothing the harder it will be.

I was in the pits of depression 5 years ago. Now i have great friends, good family, a good job, a nice car. i go to the gym, I go out most weekends and i just bought my first house. I'm not boasting i'm just letting you know what can be done in 5 years and that you can do this to.

I'm not saying i'm anyone special, i'm not saying i'm anyone's saviour. I'm just a guy who chose to change the way things were. I may lose and lose big but atleast i can say that i tried.


I have just stumbled upon this old thread and can honestly say that out of all the posts that I have read whilst I have been on acne.org, this is just about the best and most inspiring.

Like you, I developed acne at about the age of 12 or 13 and was bullied at school both verbally and physically because I had acne. It has led to a life long hatred of myself and obsession with acne and my skin.

I won`t bore you with the tale but over the years because I had acne and couldn`t accept it, I have isolated myself socially, lost friendships and messed up the only two long-term relationships that I have had.

For years I thought that everything would be ok once the acne cleared up. In the past few years it has cleared up quite a lot but because I concentrated solely on clearing my acne and not working on myself, I am still obsessed with both my skin, appearance and diet and in all honesty my acne getting better did not make me any happier.

After the break-up of my last relationship, I have led a very lonely and isolated existence - not ideal but it was comfortable and the social situation that I was in did not require me to challenge my obsessions. However in February of this year, an event totally out of the blue totally rocked my equilibrium. It wasn`t pleasant and it made me feel extremely sad, miserable and lonely but the upshot of it was that I finally realised that I have been wasting and missing out on life and need to totally rid myself of the obsessions that I have and finally learn to accept myself otherwise I will never be happy and acquire the things that I want in life.

I am not as strong as you were TakeToTheSkies so I am having counselling and will in the near future be commencing CBT in order to assist me. I do get what I call "interludes" where I just think fuck it - I don`t care what people think. However on other occasions, the negative thoughts are still too ingrained and overpowering. It is very much a work in progress.

Right now I am a guy in his thirties who is lucky in enough to have a job, his own home and a great close-knit immediate family. I want other things but the only way I`m going to acquire them is by ridding myself of my obsessions learning to like and accept the way I am.

My story is sightly di

fferent to yours and because I have left things a lot longer, it may take me more time to completely rid myself of my obsessions and learn to accept myself. However, just reading about where you came from and what you achieved in the space of five years is a great source of inspiration.


Wow thanks for the reply.

The important thing here is that you are doing something to make your situation better and for that you should be proud of yourself.
I speak to many on here who vent on the forums but don't listen to advise given.

Fact it is very easy to become comfortable with being miserable. It is a form of attention seeking because even bad attention is still attention.

I think you are strong inside. May be you haven't fully realised it yet but you do have it. You're having counseling? Thats good, went through the same. Nothing wrong admitting you need help.

As for the obsessions. I'm not sure they ever fully go away. Even though my acne is under control i still analyze my skin. The only difference i just don't react to it and choose not to let it bother me. That is the only difference between someone who deal with it and someone who allows it to control them

Choose not react, oh i have a spot? big deal i still have my health, my family, girlfriend, friends, job, roof over my head and so on. Do i still get down? Yeah of course i do but i try to then do things that make me happy.

All power to you, you are making changes because you don't like who you are when you are depressed. That takes guts to admit that. All the best to you.

Edited by TakeToTheSkies, 10 December 2012 - 07:43 AM.


#52 Bodie81

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:19 AM



Hey guys.

For those of you who don't know me I am a long term member of the org. I've been here since 2002.

The aim of this thread here is to share some knowledge on how to deal with acne and the psychological effects. I want everyone to know that you can beat it and be happy.

Brief history on me. I've had acne since i was 13. I am now 26, i still have acne but i have it under control. I use the DKR which keeps me clear. Now days i do it when i can be bothered as i'm not that bothered about acne anymore. It's more physically painful when i shave if i let it get out of control as opposed to it damaging me mentally.

I've read a lot of people's stories on here, infact i remember posting a few "help me" threads when i was 18 trying to deal with it.

One thing that sticks above all else is how everyone allows acne to control them. I've been there as well. It kept me in my house for 2 years and i was depressed as hell. I spent so much time online that my online life felt more real than my actual life. However this lead to a downward spiral. I got so comfortable with my online life i started lying to people and making stuff up, albeit i would use real aspects of my life and just glamourised it.

Spending your life inside your house and on the net is not the answer. It is the worst thing you can actually do.

So why does acne destroy us mentally? Well i've come to the conclusion it's laregely down to the world we live in where we see actors on t.v who look perfect and are beatiful. We see adverts advertising beauty products and we are conditioned to believe this how we have to be. However i would say 10% of is our own ego as well. Real people don't look like this. Real people are not photoshopped to look good. No one is perfect, everyone has inperfections on their body.

The day i started to accept my acne was a day that changed my life. It was just a normal day. Everyone was out working or having a good time and the world was passing me by. I had a bad breakout that day and was feeling very low. I was coming back from my local shop and across the street i saw a group of friends laughing and joking and having fun. One girl in this group caught my eye. She only had one arm but she couldn't be any happier. I thought to myself this girl has got it a lot worse than me and look how she is enjoying her life. She had lost an arm and didn't have a care in the world.

From that day i started putting things into perspective. It took me about a year to get fully back on my feer but i got my life back. After a while breakouts just didnt bother me anymore, i just refuse to let it stop me.

We have to keep in mind that there is always someone worse off than us. Most of us have a family, a roof over our heads, we know where our next meal is coming from. I make this assumption because everyone who can read this has computer and internet access so things can't be that bad. You have to take stock of what you have in life and make the most of it.

Life is too short to let is pass you by. You have to accept that you might have acne the rest of your life. If someone told you that you only had 6 months left to live would you sit there and feel sorry for yourself or go and make everyday count? Acne is a horrible thing but it will not kill you and i for one refuse to let it stop from living. I will not be hostage to it ever again.

You are the only one who can help you. Websites like this can support you but you have to walk through that door, you have to make yourself better. The more you sit there and do nothing the harder it will be.

I was in the pits of depression 5 years ago. Now i have great friends, good family, a good job, a nice car. i go to the gym, I go out most weekends and i just bought my first house. I'm not boasting i'm just letting you know what can be done in 5 years and that you can do this to.

I'm not saying i'm anyone special, i'm not saying i'm anyone's saviour. I'm just a guy who chose to change the way things were. I may lose and lose big but atleast i can say that i tried.


I have just stumbled upon this old thread and can honestly say that out of all the posts that I have read whilst I have been on acne.org, this is just about the best and most inspiring.

Like you, I developed acne at about the age of 12 or 13 and was bullied at school both verbally and physically because I had acne. It has led to a life long hatred of myself and obsession with acne and my skin.

I won`t bore you with the tale but over the years because I had acne and couldn`t accept it, I have isolated myself socially, lost friendships and messed up the only two long-term relationships that I have had.

For years I thought that everything would be ok once the acne cleared up. In the past few years it has cleared up quite a lot but because I concentrated solely on clearing my acne and not working on myself, I am still obsessed with both my skin, appearance and diet and in all honesty my acne getting better did not make me any happier.

After the break-up of my last relationship, I have led a very lonely and isolated existence - not ideal but it was comfortable and the social situation that I was in did not require me to challenge my obsessions. However in February of this year, an event totally out of the blue totally rocked my equilibrium. It wasn`t pleasant and it made me feel extremely sad, miserable and lonely but the upshot of it was that I finally realised that I have been wasting and missing out on life and need to totally rid myself of the obsessions that I have and finally learn to accept myself otherwise I will never be happy and acquire the things that I want in life.

I am not as strong as you were TakeToTheSkies so I am having counselling and will in the near future be commencing CBT in order to assist me. I do get what I call "interludes" where I just think fuck it - I don`t care what people think. However on other occasions, the negative thoughts are still too ingrained and overpowering. It is very much a work in progress.

Right now I am a guy in his thirties who is lucky in enough to have a job, his own home and a great close-knit immediate family. I want other things but the only way I`m going to acquire them is by ridding myself of my obsessions learning to like and accept the way I am.

My story is sightly di

fferent to yours and because I have left things a lot longer, it may take me more time to completely rid myself of my obsessions and learn to accept myself. However, just reading about where you came from and what you achieved in the space of five years is a great source of inspiration.


Wow thanks for the reply.

The important thing here is that you are doing something to make your situation better and for that you should be proud of yourself.
I speak to many on here who vent on the forums but don't listen to advise given.

Fact it is very easy to become comfortable with being miserable. It is a form of attention seeking because even bad attention is still attention.

I think you are strong inside. May be you haven't fully realised it yet but you do have it. You're having counseling? Thats good, went through the same. Nothing wrong admitting you need help.

As for the obsessions. I'm not sure they ever fully go away. Even though my acne is under control i still analyze my skin. The only difference i just don't react to it and choose not to let it bother me. That is the only difference between someone who deal with it and someone who allows it to control them

Choose not react, oh i have a spot? big deal i still have my health, my family, girlfriend, friends, job, roof over my head and so on. Do i still get down? Yeah of course i do but i try to then do things that make me happy.

All power to you, you are making changes because you don't like who you are when you are depressed. That takes guts to admit that. All the best to you.


Thanks for the reply.

With the obsessions I agree with you that although they may always be there to an extent, I think it is a case of reaching a level where it is realistic and acceptable. In my case that would be in the event of a mini breakout, not denying myself a certain meal, food or beverage, not spending hours in front of the mirror analysing and most importantly not allowing it to affect my personality. I can go from being quite easy going to withdrawn, insular and moody and shut myself off from everyone. It is picked up on far more than any perceived acne and it is very destructive.

I would not even think of beginning to preach as it would be ultra hypocritical of me but I do think that what I`m trying to do now is the way to go. Just wish I had realised this years ago.

#53 smarie23

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Posted 23 July 2013 - 12:36 AM

Hey guys.

For those of you who don't know me I am a long term member of the org. I've been here since 2002.

The aim of this thread here is to share some knowledge on how to deal with acne and the psychological effects. I want everyone to know that you can beat it and be happy.

Brief history on me. I've had acne since i was 13. I am now 26, i still have acne but i have it under control. I use the DKR which keeps me clear. Now days i do it when i can be bothered as i'm not that bothered about acne anymore. It's more physically painful when i shave if i let it get out of control as opposed to it damaging me mentally.

I've read a lot of people's stories on here, infact i remember posting a few "help me" threads when i was 18 trying to deal with it.

One thing that sticks above all else is how everyone allows acne to control them. I've been there as well. It kept me in my house for 2 years and i was depressed as hell. I spent so much time online that my online life felt more real than my actual life. However this lead to a downward spiral. I got so comfortable with my online life i started lying to people and making stuff up, albeit i would use real aspects of my life and just glamourised it.

Spending your life inside your house and on the net is not the answer. It is the worst thing you can actually do.

So why does acne destroy us mentally? Well i've come to the conclusion it's laregely down to the world we live in where we see actors on t.v who look perfect and are beatiful. We see adverts advertising beauty products and we are conditioned to believe this how we have to be. However i would say 10% of is our own ego as well. Real people don't look like this. Real people are not photoshopped to look good. No one is perfect, everyone has inperfections on their body.

The day i started to accept my acne was a day that changed my life. It was just a normal day. Everyone was out working or having a good time and the world was passing me by. I had a bad breakout that day and was feeling very low. I was coming back from my local shop and across the street i saw a group of friends laughing and joking and having fun. One girl in this group caught my eye. She only had one arm but she couldn't be any happier. I thought to myself this girl has got it a lot worse than me and look how she is enjoying her life. She had lost an arm and didn't have a care in the world.

From that day i started putting things into perspective. It took me about a year to get fully back on my feer but i got my life back. After a while breakouts just didnt bother me anymore, i just refuse to let it stop me.

We have to keep in mind that there is always someone worse off than us. Most of us have a family, a roof over our heads, we know where our next meal is coming from. I make this assumption because everyone who can read this has computer and internet access so things can't be that bad. You have to take stock of what you have in life and make the most of it.

Life is too short to let is pass you by. You have to accept that you might have acne the rest of your life. If someone told you that you only had 6 months left to live would you sit there and feel sorry for yourself or go and make everyday count? Acne is a horrible thing but it will not kill you and i for one refuse to let it stop from living. I will not be hostage to it ever again.

You are the only one who can help you. Websites like this can support you but you have to walk through that door, you have to make yourself better. The more you sit there and do nothing the harder it will be.

I was in the pits of depression 5 years ago. Now i have great friends, good family, a good job, a nice car. i go to the gym, I go out most weekends and i just bought my first house. I'm not boasting i'm just letting you know what can be done in 5 years and that you can do this to.

I'm not saying i'm anyone special, i'm not saying i'm anyone's saviour. I'm just a guy who chose to change the way things were. I may lose and lose big but atleast i can say that i tried.


I have just stumbled upon this old thread and can honestly say that out of all the posts that I have read whilst I have been on acne.org, this is just about the best and most inspiring.

Like you, I developed acne at about the age of 12 or 13 and was bullied at school both verbally and physically because I had acne. It has led to a life long hatred of myself and obsession with acne and my skin.

I won`t bore you with the tale but over the years because I had acne and couldn`t accept it, I have isolated myself socially, lost friendships and messed up the only two long-term relationships that I have had.

For years I thought that everything would be ok once the acne cleared up. In the past few years it has cleared up quite a lot but because I concentrated solely on clearing my acne and not working on myself, I am still obsessed with both my skin, appearance and diet and in all honesty my acne getting better did not make me any happier.

After the break-up of my last relationship, I have led a very lonely and isolated existence - not ideal but it was comfortable and the social situation that I was in did not require me to challenge my obsessions. However in February of this year, an event totally out of the blue totally rocked my equilibrium. It wasn`t pleasant and it made me feel extremely sad, miserable and lonely but the upshot of it was that I finally realised that I have been wasting and missing out on life and need to totally rid myself of the obsessions that I have and finally learn to accept myself otherwise I will never be happy and acquire the things that I want in life.

I am not as strong as you were TakeToTheSkies so I am having counselling and will in the near future be commencing CBT in order to assist me. I do get what I call "interludes" where I just think fuck it - I don`t care what people think. However on other occasions, the negative thoughts are still too ingrained and overpowering. It is very much a work in progress.

Right now I am a guy in his thirties who is lucky in enough to have a job, his own home and a great close-knit immediate family. I want other things but the only way I`m going to acquire them is by ridding myself of my obsessions learning to like and accept the way I am.

My story is sightly different to yours and because I have left things a lot longer, it may take me more time to completely rid myself of my obsessions and learn to accept myself. However, just reading about where you came from and what you achieved in the space of five years is a great source of inspiration.

 

Hi there! I know I'm quite a bit late to respond but I've been trying to cope with my acne and isolation and I came across this post. I'm sure you don't want to talk about it, but I'm very interested about what your life experience was that caused you to change your perspective on things. I'm in no way prying. I'm dealing with isolation myself and the complete OBSESSION on my skin's appearance and I could use any perspective or advice that I can get. It helps me to realize the important things in life and it helps knowing that others know what I feel like. If you would be willing to share, I would greatly appreciate it :) In fact, ANY advice or life experiences you would be willing to share would be amazing. I'm only 21, going to be 22 on Sunday, moved to a new city about 2.5 weeks ago, and have decided to spend my 22nd birthday alone because I do not want to meet anyone with how my skin is. I hope to fix it in the near future and to venture out at that point and meet people. But as for right now, I'm too embarrassed and ashamed of how my skin is to meet anyone. I appreciate anyone's advice on this topic :)

 

Thank you! 



#54 Bodie81

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Posted 23 July 2013 - 12:21 PM

 

Hey guys.

For those of you who don't know me I am a long term member of the org. I've been here since 2002.

The aim of this thread here is to share some knowledge on how to deal with acne and the psychological effects. I want everyone to know that you can beat it and be happy.

Brief history on me. I've had acne since i was 13. I am now 26, i still have acne but i have it under control. I use the DKR which keeps me clear. Now days i do it when i can be bothered as i'm not that bothered about acne anymore. It's more physically painful when i shave if i let it get out of control as opposed to it damaging me mentally.

I've read a lot of people's stories on here, infact i remember posting a few "help me" threads when i was 18 trying to deal with it.

One thing that sticks above all else is how everyone allows acne to control them. I've been there as well. It kept me in my house for 2 years and i was depressed as hell. I spent so much time online that my online life felt more real than my actual life. However this lead to a downward spiral. I got so comfortable with my online life i started lying to people and making stuff up, albeit i would use real aspects of my life and just glamourised it.

Spending your life inside your house and on the net is not the answer. It is the worst thing you can actually do.

So why does acne destroy us mentally? Well i've come to the conclusion it's laregely down to the world we live in where we see actors on t.v who look perfect and are beatiful. We see adverts advertising beauty products and we are conditioned to believe this how we have to be. However i would say 10% of is our own ego as well. Real people don't look like this. Real people are not photoshopped to look good. No one is perfect, everyone has inperfections on their body.

The day i started to accept my acne was a day that changed my life. It was just a normal day. Everyone was out working or having a good time and the world was passing me by. I had a bad breakout that day and was feeling very low. I was coming back from my local shop and across the street i saw a group of friends laughing and joking and having fun. One girl in this group caught my eye. She only had one arm but she couldn't be any happier. I thought to myself this girl has got it a lot worse than me and look how she is enjoying her life. She had lost an arm and didn't have a care in the world.

From that day i started putting things into perspective. It took me about a year to get fully back on my feer but i got my life back. After a while breakouts just didnt bother me anymore, i just refuse to let it stop me.

We have to keep in mind that there is always someone worse off than us. Most of us have a family, a roof over our heads, we know where our next meal is coming from. I make this assumption because everyone who can read this has computer and internet access so things can't be that bad. You have to take stock of what you have in life and make the most of it.

Life is too short to let is pass you by. You have to accept that you might have acne the rest of your life. If someone told you that you only had 6 months left to live would you sit there and feel sorry for yourself or go and make everyday count? Acne is a horrible thing but it will not kill you and i for one refuse to let it stop from living. I will not be hostage to it ever again.

You are the only one who can help you. Websites like this can support you but you have to walk through that door, you have to make yourself better. The more you sit there and do nothing the harder it will be.

I was in the pits of depression 5 years ago. Now i have great friends, good family, a good job, a nice car. i go to the gym, I go out most weekends and i just bought my first house. I'm not boasting i'm just letting you know what can be done in 5 years and that you can do this to.

I'm not saying i'm anyone special, i'm not saying i'm anyone's saviour. I'm just a guy who chose to change the way things were. I may lose and lose big but atleast i can say that i tried.


I have just stumbled upon this old thread and can honestly say that out of all the posts that I have read whilst I have been on acne.org, this is just about the best and most inspiring.

Like you, I developed acne at about the age of 12 or 13 and was bullied at school both verbally and physically because I had acne. It has led to a life long hatred of myself and obsession with acne and my skin.

I won`t bore you with the tale but over the years because I had acne and couldn`t accept it, I have isolated myself socially, lost friendships and messed up the only two long-term relationships that I have had.

For years I thought that everything would be ok once the acne cleared up. In the past few years it has cleared up quite a lot but because I concentrated solely on clearing my acne and not working on myself, I am still obsessed with both my skin, appearance and diet and in all honesty my acne getting better did not make me any happier.

After the break-up of my last relationship, I have led a very lonely and isolated existence - not ideal but it was comfortable and the social situation that I was in did not require me to challenge my obsessions. However in February of this year, an event totally out of the blue totally rocked my equilibrium. It wasn`t pleasant and it made me feel extremely sad, miserable and lonely but the upshot of it was that I finally realised that I have been wasting and missing out on life and need to totally rid myself of the obsessions that I have and finally learn to accept myself otherwise I will never be happy and acquire the things that I want in life.

I am not as strong as you were TakeToTheSkies so I am having counselling and will in the near future be commencing CBT in order to assist me. I do get what I call "interludes" where I just think fuck it - I don`t care what people think. However on other occasions, the negative thoughts are still too ingrained and overpowering. It is very much a work in progress.

Right now I am a guy in his thirties who is lucky in enough to have a job, his own home and a great close-knit immediate family. I want other things but the only way I`m going to acquire them is by ridding myself of my obsessions learning to like and accept the way I am.

My story is sightly different to yours and because I have left things a lot longer, it may take me more time to completely rid myself of my obsessions and learn to accept myself. However, just reading about where you came from and what you achieved in the space of five years is a great source of inspiration.

 

Hi there! I know I'm quite a bit late to respond but I've been trying to cope with my acne and isolation and I came across this post. I'm sure you don't want to talk about it, but I'm very interested about what your life experience was that caused you to change your perspective on things. I'm in no way prying. I'm dealing with isolation myself and the complete OBSESSION on my skin's appearance and I could use any perspective or advice that I can get. It helps me to realize the important things in life and it helps knowing that others know what I feel like. If you would be willing to share, I would greatly appreciate it smile.png In fact, ANY advice or life experiences you would be willing to share would be amazing. I'm only 21, going to be 22 on Sunday, moved to a new city about 2.5 weeks ago, and have decided to spend my 22nd birthday alone because I do not want to meet anyone with how my skin is. I hope to fix it in the near future and to venture out at that point and meet people. But as for right now, I'm too embarrassed and ashamed of how my skin is to meet anyone. I appreciate anyone's advice on this topic smile.png

 

Thank you! 

 

Smarie23, I wish I could say that since I posted this a few months ago that I have completely turned my life around but the truth is I haven`t.

 

I still obsess about my skin and I`m now having CBT. It is helping but I still get days/times where even though I don`t have severe acne, I feel like a hideous, ugly monster. I`m from the UK and recently we have had a hot spell of weather which I have hated because everyone you see out and about appears to be happy, confident, attractive and clear-skinned. Discussed this with my CBT therapist today.

 

I know from experience that isolating yourself only serves to feed and increase your anxiety. I am probably not the best person to give you advice as I don`t always practice what I preach but if you can, try to at least start to do things socially even if it is only something small like popping into your local coffee shop. Most people are not interested or bothered whether or not you have acne and you will come to realise this the more that you put yourself out there.

 

Don`t put your life on hold waiting for that utopia day when your skin is 100% clear as there is no guarantee when that will happen. Do whatever you can to clear your skin but try to enjoy your life in the meantime.

 

If things are really too difficult to attempt, it maybe worthwhile considering having some form of counselling or therapy.

 

Good luck - hope this helps a little!



#55 o Havoc o

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Posted 23 July 2013 - 03:30 PM

Wow, i am amazed this thread is still going.

 

@Smarie23.

 

These are tough questions to answer and there is no one answer.

 

I guess a lot of what you are asking is down to the individual. What works might now work for you.

 

However, i guess you have to find something else to focus your attention on. For me i train my arse off in the gym, spend time with my girlfriend, family, friends and i'm studying to be a nutritionist.

 

When i was in my deepest darkest depression. I had nothing else to focus my attention, so my obession was on acne. Everyone has an obession of some sort. I am sure we all have played a computer game and i couldn't put it down until we beat it. That there is an obession lol.

 

So lets so you find another obession, one has to control it and be balanced in life. Too much of one thing and not enough of another can be very bad.

 

I'm no motivational speaker, i get my shitty days just like anyone else. The only difference is i put it down to experience, try to learn and move on.

 

My best bit of advice is to simply go and live. Find something to put all that energy into that is currently focused on your skin. I don't know about you by obession with acne use to drain me so much, it is exhausting.

 

Nothing happens over night, fact is you will need to repair yourself and that can be a long process. I would argue even now i am still recovering because i am still learing and i will be 30 next year lol.

 

This journey is very much your own and you will have to hit rock bottom before you start to come back up.

 

Focus on positive things, family, friends, your hobbies. If you put all of your energy into these things then you will not have an energy to think about acne, hense why i train hard, too damn tired to focus on my skin.

 

I hope this helps.



#56 omgmike4

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 03:51 PM

Nope. I do not agree to anything you have talked about. I struggle with acne just as much as the average person on here most likely, but what you have said is something terrible. I instant you choose to accept Acne into your life is the instant you have gave up. Thats the one thing you have control of in your life is ur WILL. If u choose to let it take over, then you have let it win. No man, I  gone through lots of treatments, years and even been through accutane. Id never let it control me. Id go down fighting to the end. Dont give up and never give up, Remeber man... It may take a long time, but remember these words.... "If you want something bad enough, then you will get it".



#57 o Havoc o

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 01:22 PM

If that works for you then great.

I didn't give up or surrender I found a way to control andincurable skin condition. its apart of me so I adapted.

As a result im happy, can you say the same?