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are you crying because you have acne?

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#1 mellygork

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Posted 15 June 2010 - 02:38 PM

I wanted to post this because I have gained much insight about my current depression resulting from having acne. I have realized that acne has taken away so much from my life and as made me distant from other people I care about.

I have spend too long crying over something that I have no control over. I have wasted many days feeling sorry for myself when i could have worked on making my relationships better. I am sick of crying. I am sick of feeling worthless because of acne. I am sick of staring in the mirror 100 times a day and crying because my acne is not going away. I am sick of feeling ugly because I have acne on my body and face. I am sick of believing I am no good unless I have clear skin. I am sick of being jealous of friends who have clear skin. I am sick of staying at home and canceling plans with friends because i want to hide. I am sick of believing that people will judge me as ugly or no good because i have acne.

I realized today that I am a good person regardless of my acne. My acne does not define who i am. I accept that I have no control of my acne and recognize that I am doing the best i know how to do with the situation i am facing. That is all I can do. I am angry that I have to cover up acne with makeup. This makes me sad because it really means i am ashamed of myself as a person. It means I never accepted that I have acne in the first place. When I start accepting my situation I can live with it and not fight against it. Fighting against it only leads to more depression and shame. I decided not to cover up my chest acne with t shirts anymore. So what if I have acne... most people get acne at some point in their lives. I want to be the person who says F it. I am not going to let this control my life anymore. It will not stop me from enjoying the life I was given.

Reply with any thoughts, realizations, emotions ect.....

MELLY:)

#2 c'est la vigne

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Posted 15 June 2010 - 03:58 PM

Moved to the Emotional And Psychological Effects Of Acne board.

and i totally would have a crush on you if I had any lesbian tendencies


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#3 blackkchoco

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Posted 19 June 2010 - 12:58 AM

kip up the gd work~
i can relate to u. cuz i myself cried cuz of acne. and especially recently where im having continuous breakout and i hope it would stopped.
but crying is a blessed relief. not saying u muz cry, juz that when u feel ur heart is going to explode. it ok to cry once in awhile, not really abt acne, but abt life.
ya i agree with u. we cant control the acne so dun spend too much time brooding over it, since overthinking may lead to new ones popping out.
i juz imagine myself that i look okay in people eyes, and with that, my confidence built up and things are better than those times where i kip thinking abt my acne 24/7 and maintain that gloomy look on my face,i juz look unapproachable.
i was also thinking, if people cant accept u at ur worst, they dun deserve ur best

juz some penny of my thoughts.=)


#4 trance

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 11:00 AM

yes I cry no because of acne ..... but because of the things that i lost because of my acne

#5 Ashley Elizabeth Sego

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 11:41 AM

Acne is really something that people with clear skin don't realize is hard on us.
I can recall many times where I have woken up and didn't want to go to school. I would do my best to cover my acne, and put a smile on my face.
I have stayed up late thinking about it, and even shedding tears over it.
But, ever since I found acne.org I have felt a lot more at ease, because we are not alone. I am not alone.

Trust me, it is always going to be hard, but once you slowly realize that there are others out there in just as much pain as you, you don't feel so lost anymore.
That way, we can all gain strength from each other, and help each other get clear. :)

#6 cervantes86

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 02:06 PM

i cry at leats once a week.

#7 harleyquinn1801

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 11:12 PM

I love your outlook. I try my best to that that way as well. I'm so tired of staring at myself in the mirror 100 times a day seeing if any new pimples came up or if im getting any new scars (which i know i do get) but there are some things that are just out of our control. I mean we can try our best to keep the acne at bay by living a healthy lifestyle as well as taking medication, using topicals or whatever it is that works for us but when it comes down to it, our acne or scars shouldn't define us.

I feel like such a hypocrite cuz I do cry a lot of the time and feel depressed and anxious because of my acne and especially my pitted scarring but most times I'm just tired of living like that. All depressed, anxious and emotional. I mean in time, looks do fade and they won't matter anymore. I admit that I do get suicidal thoughts and I think my acne/scarring does contribute to it a lot but than again I was always depressed and anxious before my acne was bad so I think i use my acne and scarring as an excuse to feel depressed.

I am trying to think positive now and its probably the Prozac helping again cuz i couldnt take the depression/anxiety. Im hoping this will give me the push along with therapy to not give a fuck about my skin and just live my life since I missed out and currently missing out on what should be the best times of my life. (im 23) they say lifes too short but its so true. Ive spent the past almost 3 years isolating myself from social outings and turning down job opportunities and dropping school because i let my skin dictate my life and i want that to end. and i wish for everyone on these boards will try their best to get the help they need professionally for their own well being especially if they're suffering from anxiety, depression, low self esteem as well as a good regimen for their skin whether its holistically, topically, prescibed meds basically whatever works for you....

Phew, it felt good to let that out.

Hugs all

#8 PaulH85

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 10:59 AM

Given that this thread was bumped from way back in 2010 and I notice that Melly hasn't been around since then, here's hoping she kept that positive attitude going and didn't shed too many more tears over her acne.

It used to take a lot to make me cry and my acne was never really something that triggered such emotions. I used to keep everything bottled up inside. Maybe it's a guy thing, I don't know. I kind of fell into that approach by default as I've never really had anyone around me who I felt I could share stuff with. I reckon I'm pretty good at processing my feelings and articulating them, but I've spent more time writing about them in private in the form of diaries or poetry, and of course posting about them in various contexts on the Org, than I ever have talking about them. For whatever reason, I've never connected enough with anyone to feel like I could really let them in.

By the same token, I'd only ever really cried in private. Huge cliche, but it was usually in bed at night with the lights out. There was an occasion last year when I spoke in public and all that emotion that I'd had bottled up just came flooding out. It was my Grandfather's funeral and I'd decided that I wanted to speak. So I got up in front of everyone and said what I wanted to say. I was crying before I'd even started and it was pointless even attempting to hold it back, so it all came out in front of a church full of people. Perhaps silly of me to think this, but I was kind of surprised in the end to see that nobody seemed to think any less of me or think that I appeared weak or something. If anything, more people wanted to support me because I'd shown that vulnerability. I guess that occasion taught me something.

That incident must have flicked a switch in me or something because I've cried a number of times since and several of those were related to my acne. All but one has been in private and the one that wasn't in private was in front of virtual strangers when I suddenly found myself having to face up to a lot of things in order to try and save my job as I was on the verge of a breakdown. I got the opposite kind of reaction that time and those particular people chose not to support me and indeed saw my tears as a sign of weakness and something they could do without. That messed with my head a bit to be honest, kind of set me back and made me feel like I used to - that showing the emotion would be frowned upon and that I should keep it inside. I guess it depends on who you're with.

The last time I cried about my acne, about seven months ago, was when I decided things needed to change. I was struggling with one of the worst breakouts I'd ever had and certainly the longest I'd ever had. Almost three weeks of near-sleepless nights because of the pain the acne was causing and I cried myself to sleep practically every night. That was probably a culmination of a lot of things, the acne just pushed me over the edge.

I never miss an opportunity to give credit and indeed thanks to the Org and the people who post here because, at the risk of sounding overly dramatic, this place pretty much saved me last year. I was at a total loss when I turned 26, marking the point where I'd officially had acne for half of my life. I was done and I'd had enough, but there were people here who said nice things and who told me they valued my contribution and my support; there were people who said that I'd given them advice and support which had helped them through a rough patch; moments which got me thinking that if I could give myself the same kind of help and support, I could sort myself out and get through it. It seems to be working pretty well these days. More than that, I think I'm at a point where I can use all the horrible and negative experiences and put them to good use, sharing with people and letting them know they're not on their own.

Whether it's the physical and emotional reaction to the negatives, or the outcome and silver lining to be found in the positives, it all goes to show how intense dealing with acne can be and how much of an impact it can have on people's lives. In that respect, I reckon we're all a heck of a lot stronger than we perhaps give ourselves credit for.


I feel like such a hypocrite cuz I do cry a lot of the time and feel depressed and anxious because of my acne and especially my pitted scarring but most times I'm just tired of living like that. All depressed, anxious and emotional. I mean in time, looks do fade and they won't matter anymore. I admit that I do get suicidal thoughts and I think my acne/scarring does contribute to it a lot but than again I was always depressed and anxious before my acne was bad so I think i use my acne and scarring as an excuse to feel depressed.


You're not a hypocrite at all. It's much easier to point things out and give advice to other people than it is to recognise where we're going wrong ourselves or to take our own advice. If ever I offer advice to someone, all I'm essentially doing is thinking about what I did in that situation and then telling them to do the exact opposite! If I'd have had all the answers from the start, I wouldn't have been able to get to know myself better on an emotional level. Even those negative and damaging things like anxiety and depression can bring out the good in us. I'm so much more understanding and empathetic now than I ever would have been had I not experienced acne, anxiety and depression. It's a pity I had to go the long and incredibly hard way to get those attributes, but I'm not sure I'd change things if it meant I'd be without them.


I am trying to think positive now and its probably the Prozac helping again cuz i couldnt take the depression/anxiety. Im hoping this will give me the push along with therapy to not give a fuck about my skin and just live my life since I missed out and currently missing out on what should be the best times of my life. (im 23) they say lifes too short but its so true. Ive spent the past almost 3 years isolating myself from social outings and turning down job opportunities and dropping school because i let my skin dictate my life and i want that to end. and i wish for everyone on these boards will try their best to get the help they need professionally for their own well being especially if they're suffering from anxiety, depression, low self esteem as well as a good regimen for their skin whether its holistically, topically, prescibed meds basically whatever works for you....


I really admire you for posting that. Like you say, the medication might be the thing that sets you on your way. Something like that can create a window of opportunity where you can take a step back and find a new approach. I can liken that to the course of antibiotics I'm currently taking for acne. They were necessary at the start because my skin was a mess and the first few weeks got me totally clear. That showed me what I was aiming for - clear skin as much of the time as possible - and that if I didn't do things properly and take care of my skin, I wouldn't achieve it. That clear period gave me my own window of opportunity to relax and it took the pressure off so that I could figure out how to maintain things.

I hope the therapy helps you, too. I got a lot out of therapy when I was really struggling with depression. Not that it's all done with and I've left it behind, but I learned a lot about myself and I learned a lot about how to cope and how to tackle it. My depression is probably largely self-inflicted given that it's circumstantial in many ways - I was bound to end up depressed if I didn't have any friends, was too insecure to try and get to know new people, got fired from my job and spent most of the time in the house by myself - but all the same, it's necessary to have someone to articulate things to and it's necessary to have someone who can help break everything down so that it's more manageable, and therapy can be awesome for that.

Personally, I wouldn't put a time frame on when those "best years" are. My teens and early twenties were not enjoyable due to those insecurities, lack of confidence, anxieties, acne, being bullied and so on, so there was nothing good about that period and I'd rather write it off in that respect. Given that I've pretty much avoided life from 13 to 26, it's like those years didn't happen and I've nothing that I can really look back on happily, and you might even say I lost my youth to it all, but I can't say that I'm particularly bothered to be honest. After all, none of the situations I was in during that time deserved my best efforts and none of the people who messed me up deserved the best of me. So my best years will start when I find something that I want to give my best efforts to and when I find the people who I believe deserve to have the best of me. Even though we only get one shot at life, there's still a whole load of it left in which we get to overwrite the bad things and where we get to create awesome memories to take the place of things we supposedly missed, so I wouldn't worry too much about that stuff if I were you. Posted Image

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#9 mm..Brian..

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 03:32 PM

I am so glad to hear that you are accepting it now! This is the most crucial moment in any acne sufferer's life, the realisation of what is really important in life! It's really not easy coming to terms with this or even beginning to think this way so be proud of yourself for getting to this moment. From now on it will gradually become easier to deal with - I know because I've been where you are right now, and I feel much better about it now.

The trick is to keep these thoughts in mind whenever you start to think negatively about it again, and to keep repeating them and meaning them, and you'll see that over time it gets easier. I still feel down about it sometimes but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be, I was horribly depressed because of it, now I am a happy person with a positive outlook, although of course I still get down about it and angry.

I bet it helped to write it all out too didn't it? Now you can take all that negative focus away from acne and start turning it into positive focus on other things. Enjoy your life! :)

#10 leelowe1

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 07:17 PM

I wanted to post this because I have gained much insight about my current depression resulting from having acne. I have realized that acne has taken away so much from my life and as made me distant from other people I care about.

I have spend too long crying over something that I have no control over. I have wasted many days feeling sorry for myself when i could have worked on making my relationships better. I am sick of crying. I am sick of feeling worthless because of acne. I am sick of staring in the mirror 100 times a day and crying because my acne is not going away. I am sick of feeling ugly because I have acne on my body and face. I am sick of believing I am no good unless I have clear skin. I am sick of being jealous of friends who have clear skin. I am sick of staying at home and canceling plans with friends because i want to hide. I am sick of believing that people will judge me as ugly or no good because i have acne.

I realized today that I am a good person regardless of my acne. My acne does not define who i am. I accept that I have no control of my acne and recognize that I am doing the best i know how to do with the situation i am facing. That is all I can do. I am angry that I have to cover up acne with makeup. This makes me sad because it really means i am ashamed of myself as a person. It means I never accepted that I have acne in the first place. When I start accepting my situation I can live with it and not fight against it. Fighting against it only leads to more depression and shame. I decided not to cover up my chest acne with t shirts anymore. So what if I have acne... most people get acne at some point in their lives. I want to be the person who says F it. I am not going to let this control my life anymore. It will not stop me from enjoying the life I was given.

Reply with any thoughts, realizations, emotions ect.....

MELLY:)


Melly, you speak for a lot of us. I saw a you tube video last week Sunday done by the love vitamin (she also has a website of the same name) and in that video she said that we shouldn't blame acne for our unhappiness - it's an easy target but it is not the route cause of our unhappiness. Those words touched me and i decided to make a concentrated effort to celebrate all the wonderful things that make up me. I limit my mirror time to putting on my topicals (once in the A.M. and once in the P.M.). I am also addressing my stress and anxiety through supplements and exercise/meditation. It sucks to have acne but we'll still have acne whether we fixate or not. Good Luck to you and thank you for such an inspirational post.

It's a rocky road but like everything else in life, there is always a beginning and an end.  Here's to finding my end.

 

God is good to me..........more than I deserve.

 

James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.


#11 rayguzzy

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 05:06 PM

I remember i was crying my eyes out one day because i didn't want to go to work because of my acne.. i thought i was the only one who cries about acne. I'm new here ! lol