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Accutane Log: Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces


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#21 kernel.panic

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    I feel like a prized asshole, no one even mentions my casserole

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Posted 15 February 2010 - 11:28 AM

@jerichoa: I feel great. There's actually side effects now, which means that progress will come soon! Also – I'm glad you're enjoying my log. And I enjoy the compliments. Anyone who says they don't enjoy compliments is full of shit.

Did anyone else OD slightly on cinnamon hearts yesterday, or was that just me?

DAY FIVE:

Yes! I finally have something to report today. But first, I'll take you on a little adventure. So, it's “reading week” at my college this week (and at a lot of post-secondary institutions across Canada, from what I gather.) So I was downtown on Sunday, idling the day away in the library, mostly stalking this website, then began wandering around downtown a little and happened to go past the Greyhound bus stop. Struck by a sudden epiphany, I thought “Why am I not going home this week? Why would I possibly want to stay with Stalin and his reluctant crew for the ENTIRE week when I could be home with my family?” Plus, I missed my dog. She has nine nipples and is frisbee-obsessed. So, I went, looked at the bus schedule and saw that the last bus going out to my home town out in the boonies was in four hours, otherwise I would have to wait until Monday to head out. And there was NO way I was going to stay one more night in imprisonment, so I bought a bus ticket, hopped on the transit bus back to where I live, frantically packed my bags and grabbed the bus back to the bus stop with ten minutes to spare. Quite the nerve-wracking experience. I was shaking all over when I boarded. Then on the bus ride home (which, incidentally is seven hours on bus when compared to five hours in car) I ripped through all of my homework and finished it all (albeit probably very terribly and sloppy). So HA! Take that, procrastination! You will not defeat me this time! Then, when I showed up at home, my mother's first words to me were “What the fuck are you doing here?” And then we watched “The Time Traveller's Wife”, which was a major disappointment (ie. it sucked balls) compared to the book, plus Eric Bana's wig in the first half was rather distracting.
ONTO my skin: So, nothing was really happening for the first three days. There was significant zit overturn, but that's perfectly normal. Then when I woke up on Sunday, I did the usual routine of washing, although I didn't really moisturize. As I was eating breakfast, there was a most unusual feeling that the skin around my nose was too tight, so I went to look in the mirror and lo' and behold! DRY SKIN! Yes. I proceeded to slap on my cetaphil knock-off before applying my coverup and foundation and applied generous coats of lip chap to my lips throughout the day, since the whole dry-up process hit me like a tonne of bricks.
AND this morning when I woke up in the comfort of my own home instead of under the roof of a fascist dictator, my lips felt like they were on fire. I'm assuming I'll have to use a lip chap with a thicker viscosity at night. I also enjoy not slathering whatever combo of topicals I deem necessary over my just-surfacing zits in a vain attempt to get them to stop forming. They may come as they please now, because I know it will be the last time that pore will ever grow it's own to-scale replica of Mt. Vesuvius on my face. Also, when I washed my face it felt... smoother, I guess. I'm assuming this is from the rapid shedding of my skin. There's still all the bumps there, but between them, my skin doesn't feel like sandpaper anymore. It feels more like a granite countertop. Me likey.
On a completely unrelated note, my brother showed me THIS website this morning and this is what I've been doing all day.
http://james-cameron...om/wiki/Pandora
For Avatar geeks, this is like porn.



#22 Jerichoa

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Posted 15 February 2010 - 08:41 PM

DRY SKIN! That's what I can't WAIT for, but dang it, it's taking it's sweet time drying out. I forgot about the rapid skin shedding too! Mmmm...

*touches your skin* Smoooooottthh.... Isn't it great?!

By the way... That's you in your avatar, correct? You're quite adorable yourself! *runs around giggling*

I'm glad that you made it home and that the ball is really starting to roll now. Good luck! biggrin.gif <3

#23 audabby

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Posted 15 February 2010 - 10:18 PM

Not on cinnamon hearts but on regular old candy hearts. I've had 3 bags in the past 3 days ALL TO MYSELF... they are my addiction and my recently fully stocked kitchen cabinets prove it!

I think it's great how almost everyone that starts accutance just can't wait for something to happen, whether it be good or bad. I guess because we've all had some many things NOT work that even bad is good because at least we know it's doing its thing.

PrettySpotty! - LMAO, I obviously was not lucky enough to hear that saying before your posting of it but wowzers... that's just hilarious!

#24 soccersweetie1101

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Posted 16 February 2010 - 02:55 PM

love your log! your hilarious!
i didnt pig out on hearts but on CHOCOLATE!! <3333 smile.gif

good luck to you!

#25 kernel.panic

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    I feel like a prized asshole, no one even mentions my casserole

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Posted 16 February 2010 - 05:09 PM

@audabby: I'm glad I'm not the only one who eats bags of candy like they're going out of style
@soccersweety: ditto on the chocolate

DAY SIX:

Well, I have to say, not much to report on the home front today. My hands are dry and started to crack and bleed around the knuckles. It is also chinooking outside.
Since I'm already seated and turned on the computer, I feel obliged to write something anyways, so I'll ramble on about my day.
So today me and me brother had to go up to my Oma's house because she's moved out into a smaller place but still has most of her old shit there and we had to go to sort out all the food in her cold room and bring it upstairs. Let's just say, my Oma is a major hoarder. She could put a squirrel hoarding nuts for the winter to shame. Here is a list of several of the more-odd/ shifty items that we found in her house (and by the way, EVERYTHING was expired by at least a year. The oldest stuff we found was from the 60's):
-Several glass juice jars that were filled with pickle brine that at first I thought was urine.
-Baby Duck hard liquor
-About twenty various boxes of spices that were so old you could smell them from half a foot away
-Some air freshener that if you sprayed it, I'm pretty sure it would kill you
-An old jar of peanut butter that looked and smelt plastic. It also had a tiny piece of cheese in it
-Some of those crackers that you put in your soup that were so old that they morphed into the smell of Stoned Wheat Thins
-At least three jars of “Raspberry Leaves” that looked and smelt suspiciously like marijuana
-“Poison Antidote”
-Enough jars of dry beans that I could have made a bean bag chair with it
-Three-year-old beef jerky.
-Corn syrup that turned into the colour and consistency of molasses
-A frozen tomatoe in her freezer
-Booze, booze and more booze. I'm beginning to suspect that my Oma is a lush
-About a thousand cupcake containers, at least fifty of which were made of chocolate
-Countless bottles, cans, tins and jars that had that distinctive “late eighty's, early 90's” font
-A dead mouse
Overall, it felt like I spent a day in the seventies. I feel all logy now. And I ate some cookies that were from 2006.
I'm positive that my Oma was stocking up for a nuclear holocaust. She would totally survive down there in that cold room. It even has a freaky seal door. She could also open her own grocery store with the food in her house.
Okay, I remembered something about my skin. The thee cysts on my right cheek sort of just went away. They had some juicy heads yesterday, which I refrained from popping, and then when I woke up today, there wasn't the usual pressure on my cheek like someone pushing their thumb down on my face in an attempt to crush my cheekbone. I touched my face and it didn't feel like three rubber eraser heads were protruding from my skin. Confused, I sprang out of bed with the enthusiasm of a child on Christmas morning and ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror, and saw that those cysts were indeed almost non-existent. A miracle, I say. Of course, then my eyes began to wander across the rest of my face, which isn't pretty. Two more cysts on my left cheek decided to surface during today and sort of scabbed over oddly, but I found that my whiteheads are going away much quicker.
Well, I have to sign off now. There's some sort of Olympic medal ceremony going on that my mother is screaming at me to watch. Does anyone else think that the Olympic medal ceremony song sounds a lot like the medal ceremony at the end of Star Wars?
Do or do not. There is no try. May the force the with you.

Edited by kernel.panic, 16 February 2010 - 05:10 PM.


#26 LeBron

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Posted 16 February 2010 - 05:14 PM

Hey there great log, I'm a week ahead of you, so good luck with this smile.gif

#27 allsmiles19

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Posted 16 February 2010 - 05:33 PM

Hey!!

I've been reading your blogs/posts and what-not and you make me laugh out loud! I really appreciate people with a sense of humor- it's seriously way harder to find than one would think! anywho we sort of have similar situations; I too have just started Accutane, I'm in my first year at college and just incase you hadn't figured this out yet, i'm a girl too (kind of a sad third but i couldn't break up the flow of the sentence) haha I'm majoring in journalism at the moment, although im thinking of changing, and you do have a knack for writing. I'll definitely be following your blog, keep up with all the witticisms- they're great!

oh p.s. i have a blog too, except i haven't quite figured out how to do that link thing just yet- oh well!

biggrin.gif Dorothea-Allsmiles19



#28 kernel.panic

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    I feel like a prized asshole, no one even mentions my casserole

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Posted 17 February 2010 - 01:13 PM

DAY SEVEN:
One week down, several (hundred) more to go. I'm currently chewing that new excell Mist gum, which claims to be the wettest gum in the world, but I think that's just a load of bollocks. There is no way gum could be wet. It's just your saliva that makes it wet. So, I guess if you had to gag and got a sudden well-up of saliva in your mouth like you do just before you have to puke and then quickly stick the gum in your piehole and begin chewing frantically, then I can see how it could be the wettest gum in the world.
Bleg – I feel weird today, mainly due to the fact that I hung out with some of my friends last night who are also back from college. And what do a bunch of recently-legal college students do? We drink, of course. Which, I know is not a smart thing to do on accutane, but I only had one shot of tequila. And I know it's just one shot because we were making blue ice drink things and were being very precise. Now, I'm a massive light-weight to begin with (mainly to the fact that I have a body mass equivalent to that of a pillow) but this time when I drank, it was... weird. I didn't feel drunk, I felt more like I just smoked about three joints. And then I didn't feel like moving, so I just laid on the couch watching some random Olympic event. At one point, I began chowing down on a bag of munchies. At another point, I fell asleep with my hand in the bag of munchies. At another point, I finished off the entire bag of munchies. AND my friends took pictures of it all to boot and promptly posted them on Facebook. So, while it's slightly hilarious now, I don't think I'll be drinking again on this course.
One thing I am loving about this dry skin is that my foundation stays on all day. It doesn't melt off and go all gross, although sometimes the edges around my nose are so dry, it cakes. Oh well, I'll take caking over melting any day.
I also realize that when I watch TV shows, movies, look at magazines, whatever, I always scan over every person's face, then feel my eyes narrow with envy at their porcelain perfection. Like last night, when I was watching Lost, all I could think was, “Kate has really great skin. It's absolutely flawless.” Of course, I realize that many pictures are airbrushed and actors wear makeup, but you see what sort of sick thing society has warped into? To the fact that it takes a hit at my self-esteem when I watch a TV show? Disgusting.
Ooh! Ooh! I figured out how to upload pictures! I knew I said I was too lazy, but I finally got motivated to start a photobucket account and just so happened to take a picture of my specked and mottled mug sans makeup. And yes, I realize it is quite the unattractive shot, but I'm hungover. So here you go (and no, it isn't the picture asleep with my hand in the bag of munchies, unfortunately):
SEXY
I know, I know, it's hard to contain yourself when you just want to leap out of your chair and lick the monitor.

#29 PrettySpotty!

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Posted 17 February 2010 - 01:49 PM

OMG..Laughing my ass off over here! Please post the the drunkin sleeping pics ASAP! Too funny.

#30 JayQ

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Posted 17 February 2010 - 02:28 PM

Hey kernel good luck to you!! What dosage are you taking and wht brand of accutane? Didnt see where u mentioned it before, but then again i could be blind tongue.gif

*edit- yep as i thought, i'm blind, saw you mentioned 60mg. tongue.gif sry redface.gif

You should post it as part as your sig;)

Edited by JayQ, 17 February 2010 - 02:54 PM.


#31 AerithStrife

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Posted 17 February 2010 - 02:54 PM

GOOOOOOOOOOOOO CANADA! I walk around all day saying that...I also have the Olympic Canadian red mitts. When the olympics is over we'll be three weeks into our accutane experience!!!

#32 Jerichoa

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Posted 17 February 2010 - 06:42 PM

One week down! WAY TO GO! I love your blog. <3

I can't wait for the super dry skin so that my foundation stays on better. I hate having to freshen up or use oil-blotting sheets. It takes too much time and money!

By the way, you're SUPER cute!

#33 kernel.panic

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    I feel like a prized asshole, no one even mentions my casserole

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Posted 18 February 2010 - 06:28 PM

DAY EIGHT:
I have a problem. I am addicted to this site. So, in an attempt to refrain myself, I will not post an update today.
But there is'd RESPONSES!
@JayQ: thanks for reminding me. I've been meaning to put it in my signature for a while, but keep forgetting.
@prettyspotty: fine, FINE, I'll show you a couple of pictures (and that's only because I like you wink.gif):
HA HA
(luckily my friend is a tool and forgot to put on the flash and freakishly enough, my avatar pic was taken roughly three metres away from that spot as well)
@Jerichoa: thank you, although I think I look SUPERweird
@AerithStrife: I have frequently used that saying as well in these past few days. And I have a Team Canada shirt that I've worm for the duration of the Olympics. It's for good luck. And it's starting to smell bad.

#34 PrettySpotty!

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Posted 18 February 2010 - 07:54 PM

Total awesomeness! Thanks for posting some and in return maybe I'll post one of me sitting on the potty sometime to pay ya back!.........You know you wanna see it!

#35 faithinhim

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Posted 19 February 2010 - 10:01 AM

Congrats on finishing your first week!

#36 kernel.panic

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    I feel like a prized asshole, no one even mentions my casserole

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Posted 19 February 2010 - 01:50 PM

DAY NINE:

I'm positive that my skin is looking better. Less spotty, I'd say.
Over the past week, my dreams have gotten progressively odder and feel more realistic than reality does sometimes. Here's an except of my dream last night (and by the way, it has to do with the TV show “The Office”, so if you don't watch it, you're apt to be confused):
So, it was found out that Jim was cheating on Pam with his ex, Karen, like right before Pam's supposed to give birth to their child. And the scenes in which he cheats were graphic, to say the least. Like, slightly perturbing that my imagination would even come up with that. So I was watching this episode with my family and I remember thinking “Why would they put this plotline in there? Pam and Jim are soulmates!” and then I took a shower and was STILL upset over this horrid turn of events in The Office and I was kicking the shower walls because I was so upset.
WEIRD. Very weird.
The accutane aches and pains have started. Oh, and how they have started. It's one thing to read about them and another to experience them first-hand. I went to kickboxing with my cousin last night while I'm still at home and I thought I was seriously going to die afterwards. I just ended up laying in the backseat of her car for fifteen minutes afterwards, praying for someone to do the humane thing and shoot me to put me out of my misery. And when I bend over and then get a little too overzealous when I straighten up, my back spazzes out, like my muscles clumped up into a big knot and are frantically trying to sort themselves out.
Also, my skin is getting progressively and progressively dryer. It's to the point of where foundation is hard to wear without caking and flaking, which is not good. I heard that jojoba oil is good with dryness. Does anyone else have an opinion about this before I go out and buy some?
Oh yes, and also – my personal favourite – bloody boogers. Not nosebleeds, just boogers. Tonnes and tonnes of boogers. I think that within a day, I pick out a pound worth from each nostril. When I pinch my nose together, it feels like there's crystallized sugar candy up there.
Due to the remote fact that anyone on here remembers that I had to clean out my Oma's nuclear holocaust provisions in her cold room the other day, there's a second part to add to that story: So, after hauling an entire grocery store worth of odd items out of her basement, me and my brother had to transport them all to my Oma's new house. So, of course, my brother was speeding because he thinks it'll make all the chicks want him, and there was a ghost car on the side of the highway, and we were pulled over. THAT'S when I remembered that there were several unidentifiable baggies filled with suspicious green plants ALL OVER THE CAR. And the cops took a look in the back of the car when and saw all the junk we were hauling. And they came across a certain baggie that was the marijuana-ist looking of them all, with some crazy german writing on the front so you couldn't tell what it was anyways. It doesn't help that me and my brother have had a few – ahem – run-ins with the cops in our teenage years (deciding to climb up on the roof of a restaurant in the middle of the night and stealing grocery carts are just a few examples.) So that was fun.
For lack of anything more to write, I though I'd bore you with the news that I got myself a pair of Olympic mitts. Here's the PROOF.

#37 zucchini007

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Posted 19 February 2010 - 03:02 PM



so what happened with the cops? you left out the ending, what a cliffhanger. your grandma sounds like too much fun.

Edited by zucchini007, 20 October 2010 - 12:43 PM.


#38 PrettySpotty!

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Posted 19 February 2010 - 03:14 PM

Not Jim and Pam....That dream would have left me pissed off also..I remember when Jim was with Karen and I almost cried every episode...Oh in your dream was karen still pregnant with her baby or was her baby born and watching them?..........Gross no more bad Jim and Pam dreams ok, my heart cant take it! Anywho as far as the dry skin..I have found that unrefined shea butter is kick ass for the whole body, hair and face included it does not clog pores and it makes everything feel soft and look less flakey! You have to order it online, I got mine on amazon, just search unrefined shea butter, you get like 2 pounds or something crazy for like $5 plus shipping so like $11 total. You should really look into it.

#39 kernel.panic

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    I feel like a prized asshole, no one even mentions my casserole

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Posted 19 February 2010 - 04:14 PM

@missmooshoo: the cops let us off with a warning, there was just much tension for the better part of fifteen minutes. Yeah, my Oma's crazy, but she makes damn good jam!
@prettyspotty: In my dream, I don't think Karen ever got married to that other guy. I remember being so pissed off at her character in the third season, even though nothing she really did made me hate her, I just hated her because she was with Jim. And I'll check into that shea butter thing, thanks.

#40 zucchini007

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Posted 19 February 2010 - 10:01 PM

.

Edited by zucchini007, 20 October 2010 - 12:43 PM.