everything causes me to break out
Posted 14 December 2009 - 06:41 PM
here's everything that causes me to break out
- eating chocolate (do NOT tell me chocolate doesn't cause acne. this is MY rant and every time i eat chocolate i break out)
- fast food, the first time in a month that i've had fast food. i'm already pimply why deprive myself further
- stress. i hate my job. i wish i could just quit. i dont care that it's a recession, i'm unhappy.
- touching my face. makes the pimples read. but i can't stop touching.
- facial hair
i hate my skin. i grow some pretty nasty whiteheads throughout the day. my pores are huge. i have so many painful pimples on the surface, and many more underneath that will be there for weeks. my chin reminds me of some urban neighbourhood, just gangs of these small bumps clustered everywhere. then i have all these dark marks everywhere where old breakouts used to live. and i have uneven skin tone because i never used to wear sunscreen so now i've got like, 8 shades of skin on my face. my chest is soooooo light then my neck gets darker, then my forehead is the darkest.
i thought if i elminiated the facial hair i would eliminate the acne. because as soon as i started getting more i noticed my acne would get worse. but even laser hair removal didn't work.
man i wish i started accutane in august. i'd be so close to complete by now. effin laziness.
Posted 15 December 2009 - 04:30 AM
I know what you mean about hating your skin; I have so many old scars and indentations that my face looks like a topographical map of Afghanistan. What's worst is all the old damage makes it impossible to tell when a new zit is coming in; I'll stare for ten minutes at a mysterious lump on my chin and not be able to tell if it's a developing cyst or just an old scar that I've never paid attention to. The uncertainty is murder.
Whenever I feel hopeless about my bad skin I think about how my body is just an imperfect vessel, and how the thing that's really me exists independent of it. When I go to sleep at night, I leave my body, bad skin and all, behind. That sense of freedom and solace that comes at the end of the day, knowing that no problem can follow further than my waking hours, is comforting. My problems will be there waiting for me in the morning (in the mirror), but the night's reprieve strengthens my resolve.
I don't know if any of this helps, but I hope it does, or will in the future. Stay strong and look ahead to better times.
Posted 16 December 2009 - 12:25 PM
Regardless, coming to a point where you like who you are, both physically and emotionally, despite acne is a hard place to arrive, but it is possible, no matter how hopeless you feel right now. Just keep your head up and stick around the org. I guarantee there are people here who care and can relate. <3
On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur á l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
"Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are."
Poor Kairasa thinks she has a yen
For those clean-cut young Ivy League men.
Although they look cute
In their blazers and suits,
They can only get it up now and then.
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