Complete despair. There doesn't seem any point in me even posting on acne.org anymore. I am never going to be able to treat my acne. I am never going to be able to get clear skin. And the worst part is that it's not even my own fault. Why does the world have to be so cruel?!
Sending many virtual hugs. I am sorry that you are feeling bad at the moment.
Is it possible to take a step back and look at where you are right now with your skin versus where you were say 4 months ago? Is there an improvement in the state of it from then to now? I know that when I was suffering with severe depression over my skin, I tended to only see the bad in it, without seeing how much it had improved from the worst days. What is it about your skin right now that's making you feel terrible?
When I finally got clear I actually felt worse about myself for a long while because the pih I had looked worse than the broken-out skin. But after a while, once it had faded a bit (which it did on its own for the first little bit... it was too sensitive to use peels on) I felt enormously better.
I think I can relate to you as we both seem to struggle with a disposition towards depression and with it/because of it... negative thinking. I'm just assuming here, so tell me if I'm way off the mark, but do you think you're kind of spiralling downward with negative thoughts? No doubt you've heard this before. Having been where you are right now I thought I'd share what I think I've learnt in an effort to help you a little.
Aw thank you Kalinka, I'm touched that you took the time to respond to my negative rant! My skin is better than it was 4 months ago. Definitely. Although it still looks like I have a lot more acne than I actually do because of all the horrible hyperpigmentation. The most frustrating thing is that I'm still breaking out after 6 months on antibiotics, Dianette and Epiduo. Like last week I had a massive cyst on my forehead and the week before a load of whiteheads on my chin. In comparison to before, it's nothing, but I just feel like if the treatment isn't working by now then it's never going to work and there's no chance of my dermatologist prescribing isotretinoin because I'm still only halfway up the waiting list for CBT and counselling. I'm always spiralling downwards with negative thoughts. Story of my life! Think it's possibly worse at the moment because I'm in the process of changing antidepressants. Had to taper down off a really high dose of one then have 4 days off everything and after 8 months of being on them it's really messing with my head. Thank you for your kind words and support. I appreciate it so much! How is your skin doing at the moment?