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#5901 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 01:32 PM

My face is much the same as I posted last night but strangely, I don`t feel too bad about it.

 

Had another CBT session today. After last week`s session which was a disaster, the therapist was pleased that I am feeling much more positive. Got to keep a "thought" diary this week. This doesn`t mean everything that comes in to your head but specific thoughts - for example, "I am repulsive". Also got to record where I was/what I was doing when the thought occurred and highlight what I did/how I reacted as a consequence. Next week, I am going to go through the diary with the therapist and look at specific techniques that can be used to "challenge" the thoughts.

 

It`s not all been plain sailing but I`m glad that I started CBT now. However, it is not a magic cure and it does require you to put a lot of work and effort in away from the sessions. Long term, I think it will really help me though.

 

Glad to hear that this week's session was better after last week! And that you think the CBT is helping in general. :) My doctor suggests trying out CBT every single time I see her but I haven't had the guts to take the leap as of yet! 


My Current Treatment Plan

 

Morning: Lymecycline
 

Evening: Dianette + Epiduo

Diet: eliminated dairy

 

My Log: http://www.acne.org/messageboard/topic/331567-diary-of-a-three-pronged-attack-my-mission-to-get-clear-skin-and-avoid-roaccutane/#entry3369787 

 

Acne status: essentially clear and just waiting for hyperpigmentation to fade

 

"I would rather learn what it feels like to burn than feel nothing at all." ~ Ron Pope
 


#5902 WishClean

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 01:34 PM

she

 

 

Well I was feeling more positive for most of the day. My skin is clearing up a bit with all the treatments I'm using and getting flatter and smoother everyday but it still looks absolutely horrific in the mirror because most of it is covered in really bad hyperpigmentation along with all the active stuff.

Unfortunately I made the mistake of watching a romantic film on the TV this evening and it reminded me how it's going to be totally impossible for anybody to ever love me with a face like mine. I'm destined to be alone my whole life. Now I'm sitting in my room crying in front of a computer like a pathetic little loser. When will this cycle of misery ever end?!!

Oh no sad.png That sounds like something I would do (romantic film and getting all depressed) - Sounds sad huh? tongue.png

 I know what you mean and I think the same things about myself - 'how could someone love me when I look the way I do'. I have to remind myself though that there is more to me than how I look, and there are loads of people out there who have acne and who are in happy relationships - so why wouldn't that happen for me some day? It's just a matter of meeting the right person - Which may not exactly be easy, but that doesn't mean it's impossible!

 

I get what you mean about your skin right now too - I'm dealing with the same thing. Slowly, everything is healing and my skin is getting smoother but it in no way looks clear because of all the hyperpigmentation I have! Quite frustrating... but hopefully something like AHA will help when I start to use it. Have you tried that or anything else for pigmentation before?



>My face decided to throw the fuck up today, I haven't changed a damn thing in months, I was a fool for believing it was over. Some people deserve to be put out of their mi

sery. FUCK.

What have you been doing for your skin? Maybe it's time to try another treatment?

Hope things improve for you soon! Hang in there!

Yeh, it was quite a good film but definitely a bad idea from a self-esteem perspective! You're right that there's definitely more to us than how we look, but to be honest I'm not too fond of my own personality in any case, or of anything about myself in fact! Sad but true. I don't really feel like I have anything going for me at all though I know this is probably a biased perspective. 

Hyperpigmentation is such a nightmare isn't it?! I should be happy that my skin is slowly clearing but the fact is because of the redness it doesn't actually look much better than it did anyway. I've tried lemon juice but that did absolutely nothing and I tried aloe vera but it just made me break out even more. I'm a bit dubious about trying AHA because 1. I think it would break me out and 2. I avoid anything that has an exfoliating effect because there is a history of psoriasis in my family and I don't want to bring that on on top of the acne! Do you know of anything else that helps with hyperpigmentation but doesn't exfoliate? 

Sunscreen helps! I'm seriously not kidding. Sunscreen really helps it to fade by not allowing it to get worse, you know? If you want to be thorough, layer chemical and physical sunscreens. 

 

So, I haven't worn foundation in a while. I keep figuring this out the hard way, but even mineral foundation just breaks me out. It's so gradual with most foundations that I don't notice it until I have to stop wearing it for some reason and my skin clears up some as a result. I'll wear eyeliner and mascara, though. It helps me feel more confident about the no foundation thing. 

 

Cool story you guys. Queen Elizabeth wore lead makeup to cover up her smallpox scars, even though they really weren't all that visible. She wore her inches of makeup even on her deathbed -- wouldn't be seen without it. Lead literally will burn the skin off of your face over time. And of course, you get lead poisoning. Interesting, huh? She had reason to be one of the most confident women ever (she reigned over England for 45 years.) Made me feel a little better about my insecurities. Less pathetic, lol. 

 

My hair is still falling out. I got an abnormal thyroid test and thought we had finally found the problem. Only to get the more detailed T3, T4, TSH tests normal the second time. So I have to re-take in a month. Meanwhile, my mane get's thinner and looks just awful. I don't know what to do with it. It looks awful in a thin braid, looks bad in a ponytail, and looks bad down. *sigh* whatever. 

 

I've been working on medical school apps. I thought I was done, only to have one of my professors read my statement and tell me it was too intense and that she would question my readiness for medical school if she were on the admissions committee. That was such great news. -______-  Especially, since the essay just feels so "right" and most other people really loved it. Of course, it pales in comparison to my usual writing, but that's because my writing style is leisurely. I take my time with the words, so that they flow into each other and into a picture. I love the way I write; sometimes I look at it and wonder that I could have actually written something like that. But my personal statement isn't an amazing work of writing. That still doesn't change its honesty and how much it resonates with me. I had my reasons!

 

I really should exercise instead of Netflix binging in my spare time like I've been doing. 

 

Have you tried argan oil for your hair? I put a few drops on my roots once a week to strengthen hair growth and it seems to be working. I also try to eat as healthy as possible and reduce stress. Whenever I'm stressed, I shed more hair. My thyroid tests came back normal too, but I think it's the cortisol that throws everything off balance during times of stress...

As for your personal statement, it doesn't have to be "perfect"...noone's writing is perfect. I used to get paid to edit people's personal statements, and the sad thing is that most applicants get a ton of help with their applications to the point where it's not even their own writing anymore. So I think that if you are genuine and if you like what you have written, then you shouldn't change it too much. You want to appeal to a school that is the right fit for you. My statement was very straightforward and not fancy at all, and I ended up in a program that appreciated me. I got rejected from some pretentious schools, but I would have been miserable there anyway.


Supplements: inositol, DIM, digestive enzymes [don't need them every day anymore, only on cheat days], herpanacine & vitamin C with rose hips [not every day], regular sun exposure for vitamin D3.

Lifestyle & Skin Care: Low histamine diet, avoiding unnecessary stress, balancing skin's PH (using Image Ormedics), using distilled/ filtered water to wash face, occasional high frequency facials... (although I have been slacking lately)

** Find the cause, find the cure **

 


#5903 Bodie81

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 01:47 PM

My face is much the same as I posted last night but strangely, I don`t feel too bad about it.

 

Had another CBT session today. After last week`s session which was a disaster, the therapist was pleased that I am feeling much more positive. Got to keep a "thought" diary this week. This doesn`t mean everything that comes in to your head but specific thoughts - for example, "I am repulsive". Also got to record where I was/what I was doing when the thought occurred and highlight what I did/how I reacted as a consequence. Next week, I am going to go through the diary with the therapist and look at specific techniques that can be used to "challenge" the thoughts.

 

It`s not all been plain sailing but I`m glad that I started CBT now. However, it is not a magic cure and it does require you to put a lot of work and effort in away from the sessions. Long term, I think it will really help me though.

 

Glad to hear that this week's session was better after last week! And that you think the CBT is helping in general. smile.png My doctor suggests trying out CBT every single time I see her but I haven't had the guts to take the leap as of yet! 

 

I would definitely think about giving it a go. If you were to do CBT via the NHS, you would probably be put on a waiting list so you probably wouldn`t commence CBT straight away. I had to wait about 7-8 months. The biggest difficulty I found was building a relationship with my therapist. Initially I found it a bit difficult to reveal my innermost feelings but after a couple of sessions, I felt a lot more comfortable.


Edited by GUNNKE, 06 August 2013 - 01:57 PM.


#5904 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 02:23 PM

 

My face is much the same as I posted last night but strangely, I don`t feel too bad about it.

 

Had another CBT session today. After last week`s session which was a disaster, the therapist was pleased that I am feeling much more positive. Got to keep a "thought" diary this week. This doesn`t mean everything that comes in to your head but specific thoughts - for example, "I am repulsive". Also got to record where I was/what I was doing when the thought occurred and highlight what I did/how I reacted as a consequence. Next week, I am going to go through the diary with the therapist and look at specific techniques that can be used to "challenge" the thoughts.

 

It`s not all been plain sailing but I`m glad that I started CBT now. However, it is not a magic cure and it does require you to put a lot of work and effort in away from the sessions. Long term, I think it will really help me though.

 

Glad to hear that this week's session was better after last week! And that you think the CBT is helping in general. smile.png My doctor suggests trying out CBT every single time I see her but I haven't had the guts to take the leap as of yet! 

 

I would definitely think about giving it a go. If you were to do CBT via the NHS, you would probably be put on a waiting list so you probably wouldn`t commence CBT straight away. I had to wait about 7-8 months. The biggest difficulty I found was building a relationship with my therapist. Initially I found it a bit difficult to reveal my innermost feelings but after a couple of sessions, I felt a lot more comfortable.

 

Yeh, I'm really lucky in that respect because they run a free counselling service at my university where they do CBT and I think the waiting list isn't anything like as bad (maybe 5-6 weeks, not too sure...). The problem is that I don't do opening up to anyone and haven't done since the age of 12 except for a tiny bit on this forum and once to this one doctor in order to get some anti-depressants. I'm more open to the idea now than I was 6 months ago because they seem to have had the added bonus of reducing my social anxiety to a more manageable level but the thought of having some stranger probing me about my feelings still fills me with absolute terror! That said, I know it would probably do me an awful lot of good if I committed to it properly so I'm still torn unsure.png


My Current Treatment Plan

 

Morning: Lymecycline
 

Evening: Dianette + Epiduo

Diet: eliminated dairy

 

My Log: http://www.acne.org/messageboard/topic/331567-diary-of-a-three-pronged-attack-my-mission-to-get-clear-skin-and-avoid-roaccutane/#entry3369787 

 

Acne status: essentially clear and just waiting for hyperpigmentation to fade

 

"I would rather learn what it feels like to burn than feel nothing at all." ~ Ron Pope
 


#5905 Perseverance92

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 02:40 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of my closest friend left our college for a semester abroad program to Dubai yesterday.They made it a whiskey night.He hugged me and said "For friendship's sake".I couldn't say no for obvious reasons.I ended up drinking 9 pegs.With a pathetic hangover i'm typing this.I'm going to have an even pathetic breakout now.Because i know it for a fact that alcohol sabotages my skin.How am i supposed to avoid such inevitable situations? sad.png

that was certainly not inevitable.

by now i feel u r a lil' too early to give in.always.

sweet!

alcohol!

always!

 

u need a good shout n

 

Well didi, you may look at it and say i'm weak from within.But sometimes you break.I didn't eat anything bad for 20 days.Then it became too much for me and i indulged. sad.png I can't help. Maybe i need a good shout.But more than that i need my mother. When i get up in the morning and the first person i see is my mother,on those days i feel strengthened from within.I become circumspect and can always judge right from wrong.I live a disciplined life.I don't know...I miss my parents too much when i'm in college.Don't see them for 10 months sometimes... Home sickness makes me reckless,undisciplined and unhappy.Again,you may read my post and it may reinforce your perception about me.Me being a spoilt brat who complaints a lot.But the fact that i have to stay away from my home for another 4 years,It gives me a burning feeling.

Don't be too hard on yourself, everyone needs to indulge once in a while. Just forget about it, and eat healthy the day after to make up for it. As for homesickness, I  can relate. I haven't seen my family in almost 2 years and am too broke to afford a plane ticket to go visit them. Talking with your family on the phone or skype can help though. 

...2 years? Oh dear... sad.png and i was cribbing about my 10 months. 

i dnt think u're a spoilt brat now.

i used to think that earlier at times.this just makes u seem more attached and more emotional than others ur age.i totally relate because thats just my story.

the exception being when and if am gone to hostel ,i just cant be away for so many mnths at a stretch so either my mum visits me or i come to her.

in the beginning it will be as often as once a mnth visit may be.lol!

then i'd fly here on bigger festivals and she'll come visit very 2-3 mnths.

thankfully its easier and cheaper to book flights these days from these online sites

I wanted to visit my cousin sisters on Raksha Bandhan,but i have my GMAT coaching.I can't even meet my parents this Diwali and Dussehra sad.png...Hopefully they would meet me ...Yes i get attached to people very easily.I'm naive,i'm gullible...People take advantage of me. haha ...this world is full of unreliable people.

 

And yes,fortunately flights have become cheaper.Earlier Delhi to Dehradun was 8,000.Now it's around 4,000.Or 3,000 if i'm lucky wink.png .But it's hardly 260 kms. so Volvo bus is a good bet.But even then i get to see my parents once a year and that is during the summer vacations LOL. 

if u r very close to ur sisters,then i understand its sad.but otherwise i dont think u should worry too much about raksha bandhan in this stage of life.

remember,these few years is gonna make or break u.

i keep saying that to myself.

i am more and most attached to my family(parents and few relatives) otherwise i have very very few frnds who i am okay not meeting often, really.in fact i havent met them in 1-2 or even 3 years.

but i NEED to see my mum very often and also talk to her several times a day(even if its for 2-5 minutes).

actually this is the 1st time am gonna ever stay away from my house.so it IS a big deal for ME too.

i am gonna come here in durga puja for a few days i suppose.

not diwali or laxmi puja though(which are celebrated big way in my house).but anyway!

like i told u..keep telling urself 'all this will show results someday.its all necessary'.

 

plus,i am gonna have such tight schedule..i will probably not have time to even miss people properly.

i will have to invest atleast12-13 hours in books everyday religiously plus take care of household stuff.

(i am lil' freaky freaky when it comes to cleaning,germ free everything and i'm also gonna make oats or sattu or cut fruits for myself instead of/ along with food served in the cafeteria.)

anyway,sorry i rambled.

i was actually trying to help ur issue.lol!

 

i dnt know.

i am just gonna be there,do whats needed.

and take small breaks and come here,talk to u guys and with my family here.

i suggest u do the same.

i am always there if u need someone to talk to lil' bro!;p

 

 

*edit*

i know that not meeting frnds for years sounds gross.but honestly i have close frnds among them and its all okay.

but my closest among them all is anyway a penpal who lives in the US.we exchange emails about 3-4 times a week now if not regularly.

its something very defeating for me - i feel very bad considering that everybody has this group of 'great' frnds or u know bestest buds while i dnt have any such group or anyone i talk discuss my daily life with.

but i am hopeful.and i am sure i will find frnds or atleast a frnd who's just what i need and i am just what he/she needs.=)

*fairy like feelings*

 Since i'm the lone child of my parents,i'm close to my cousins.It's not about being close actually.It's the sanctity of a relationship which we celebrate so vigorously in India.While i understand the importance of education and that "this time" can make or break me but it just feels bad when i see my local Delhi friends celebrating every festival with their family.It's not jealousy but a feeling of longingness .Despite having six close friends i often end up looking at the blue sky wistfully.And yes,like you i have to talk to my mother regularly.I usually talk to her every 2 days but for a longer duration (45 minutes).

 

I want to get into INSEAD (France).It's the B-school of my dreams.I'm studying for a competitive GMAT score.So we'r in identical situations :) .Trying to make our own little place ,finding our ways in the labyrinth called life .

 

Didi i think you should invest some time in creating new relationships.Fostering a new relationship is like watering a plant.It will reap you dividends.Good friends invigorate you.If your life is an incomplete portrait then friends are the colors that complete it :).

 

Lastly,always spare some time for acne.org no matter how busy you are. The website is truly blessed to have people like you who make others feel that they are always there for them :).



#5906 Geeking

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 03:31 PM

A mess. I had 2 big bumps, and now one even bigger one. It hurts so much and is red. I've been putting ice on it. I may go on a trip but I don't really want people to see me.
"...But for now we are young, let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see..."

#5907 Bodie81

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 03:55 PM

 

 

My face is much the same as I posted last night but strangely, I don`t feel too bad about it.

 

Had another CBT session today. After last week`s session which was a disaster, the therapist was pleased that I am feeling much more positive. Got to keep a "thought" diary this week. This doesn`t mean everything that comes in to your head but specific thoughts - for example, "I am repulsive". Also got to record where I was/what I was doing when the thought occurred and highlight what I did/how I reacted as a consequence. Next week, I am going to go through the diary with the therapist and look at specific techniques that can be used to "challenge" the thoughts.

 

It`s not all been plain sailing but I`m glad that I started CBT now. However, it is not a magic cure and it does require you to put a lot of work and effort in away from the sessions. Long term, I think it will really help me though.

 

Glad to hear that this week's session was better after last week! And that you think the CBT is helping in general. smile.png My doctor suggests trying out CBT every single time I see her but I haven't had the guts to take the leap as of yet! 

 

I would definitely think about giving it a go. If you were to do CBT via the NHS, you would probably be put on a waiting list so you probably wouldn`t commence CBT straight away. I had to wait about 7-8 months. The biggest difficulty I found was building a relationship with my therapist. Initially I found it a bit difficult to reveal my innermost feelings but after a couple of sessions, I felt a lot more comfortable.

 

Yeh, I'm really lucky in that respect because they run a free counselling service at my university where they do CBT and I think the waiting list isn't anything like as bad (maybe 5-6 weeks, not too sure...). The problem is that I don't do opening up to anyone and haven't done since the age of 12 except for a tiny bit on this forum and once to this one doctor in order to get some anti-depressants. I'm more open to the idea now than I was 6 months ago because they seem to have had the added bonus of reducing my social anxiety to a more manageable level but the thought of having some stranger probing me about my feelings still fills me with absolute terror! That said, I know it would probably do me an awful lot of good if I committed to it properly so I'm still torn unsure.png

 

Opening up can be really hard. My BDD/acne dysmorphia stems from being bullied at school. I was so ashamed of it that apart from one ex-girlfriend, up until 18 months ago I had never told anyone - not even my parents, sister or any other close relatives.

You have to decide what`s right and feels comfortable for you - it may well be that CBT or any other form of therapy is a step too far right now but it is something that can be always be considered again in the future. The most important thing though is that it has to be the right time for you.

Sorry I can`t be of any more help. If you (or anyone else) has any questions about CBT or my experiences of BDD/acne dysmorphia, don`t hesitate to ask either via these forums or by PM. If tapping into my experiences helps anyone in anyway, I`ll gladly answer any questions.



#5908 MoonlitRiver

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 04:20 PM

 

 

 

My face is much the same as I posted last night but strangely, I don`t feel too bad about it.

 

Had another CBT session today. After last week`s session which was a disaster, the therapist was pleased that I am feeling much more positive. Got to keep a "thought" diary this week. This doesn`t mean everything that comes in to your head but specific thoughts - for example, "I am repulsive". Also got to record where I was/what I was doing when the thought occurred and highlight what I did/how I reacted as a consequence. Next week, I am going to go through the diary with the therapist and look at specific techniques that can be used to "challenge" the thoughts.

 

It`s not all been plain sailing but I`m glad that I started CBT now. However, it is not a magic cure and it does require you to put a lot of work and effort in away from the sessions. Long term, I think it will really help me though.

 

Glad to hear that this week's session was better after last week! And that you think the CBT is helping in general. smile.png My doctor suggests trying out CBT every single time I see her but I haven't had the guts to take the leap as of yet! 

 

I would definitely think about giving it a go. If you were to do CBT via the NHS, you would probably be put on a waiting list so you probably wouldn`t commence CBT straight away. I had to wait about 7-8 months. The biggest difficulty I found was building a relationship with my therapist. Initially I found it a bit difficult to reveal my innermost feelings but after a couple of sessions, I felt a lot more comfortable.

 

Yeh, I'm really lucky in that respect because they run a free counselling service at my university where they do CBT and I think the waiting list isn't anything like as bad (maybe 5-6 weeks, not too sure...). The problem is that I don't do opening up to anyone and haven't done since the age of 12 except for a tiny bit on this forum and once to this one doctor in order to get some anti-depressants. I'm more open to the idea now than I was 6 months ago because they seem to have had the added bonus of reducing my social anxiety to a more manageable level but the thought of having some stranger probing me about my feelings still fills me with absolute terror! That said, I know it would probably do me an awful lot of good if I committed to it properly so I'm still torn unsure.png

 

Opening up can be really hard. My BDD/acne dysmorphia stems from being bullied at school. I was so ashamed of it that apart from one ex-girlfriend, up until 18 months ago I had never told anyone - not even my parents, sister or any other close relatives.

You have to decide what`s right and feels comfortable for you - it may well be that CBT or any other form of therapy is a step too far right now but it is something that can be always be considered again in the future. The most important thing though is that it has to be the right time for you.

Sorry I can`t be of any more help. If you (or anyone else) has any questions about CBT or my experiences of BDD/acne dysmorphia, don`t hesitate to ask either via these forums or by PM. If tapping into my experiences helps anyone in anyway, I`ll gladly answer any questions.

 

Thank you GUNNKE I always appreciate your replies so much! I'll have a bit more of a think about it. I tried counselling once last year (online counselling because this was still at the point when I couldn't make myself talk to strangers in person) and it really didn't go too well. Basically I chickened out after the second session because I felt like such an idiot with what I was saying and just so uncomfortable dragging all those feelings to the surface. It also made me irrationally paranoid that I might somehow come across the counsellor in the street or on campus and that she would recognise me. What I thought would actually happen in this scenario I have no idea but the prospect terrified me all the same. What a mess. 

I'm sorry to hear that, bullying at school has such a massive effect on people's lives it's so sad! I went through a two year phase of it myself and it was horrible. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post YouTube links so apologies to any moderators who have to remove this but if you haven't seen this it's an incredibly profound, heart-wrenching and beautiful video which I think should be compulsory viewing in all schools and which you and a lot of other people on this board can probably relate to:


Edited by MoonlitRiver, 06 August 2013 - 04:28 PM.

My Current Treatment Plan

 

Morning: Lymecycline
 

Evening: Dianette + Epiduo

Diet: eliminated dairy

 

My Log: http://www.acne.org/messageboard/topic/331567-diary-of-a-three-pronged-attack-my-mission-to-get-clear-skin-and-avoid-roaccutane/#entry3369787 

 

Acne status: essentially clear and just waiting for hyperpigmentation to fade

 

"I would rather learn what it feels like to burn than feel nothing at all." ~ Ron Pope
 


#5909 Coldhearted

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 02:59 AM

I've been crying all night, now my face is puffy, red, inflamed and extremely painful. I can't bear to look at my reflection, I just burst crying. My acne is at its worst and I'm literally out of options.


I'm unlean, a libertine.
 


#5910 aanabill

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 05:18 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of my closest friend left our college for a semester abroad program to Dubai yesterday.They made it a whiskey night.He hugged me and said "For friendship's sake".I couldn't say no for obvious reasons.I ended up drinking 9 pegs.With a pathetic hangover i'm typing this.I'm going to have an even pathetic breakout now.Because i know it for a fact that alcohol sabotages my skin.How am i supposed to avoid such inevitable situations? sad.png

that was certainly not inevitable.

by now i feel u r a lil' too early to give in.always.

sweet!

alcohol!

always!

 

u need a good shout n

 

Well didi, you may look at it and say i'm weak from within.But sometimes you break.I didn't eat anything bad for 20 days.Then it became too much for me and i indulged. sad.png I can't help. Maybe i need a good shout.But more than that i need my mother. When i get up in the morning and the first person i see is my mother,on those days i feel strengthened from within.I become circumspect and can always judge right from wrong.I live a disciplined life.I don't know...I miss my parents too much when i'm in college.Don't see them for 10 months sometimes... Home sickness makes me reckless,undisciplined and unhappy.Again,you may read my post and it may reinforce your perception about me.Me being a spoilt brat who complaints a lot.But the fact that i have to stay away from my home for another 4 years,It gives me a burning feeling.

Don't be too hard on yourself, everyone needs to indulge once in a while. Just forget about it, and eat healthy the day after to make up for it. As for homesickness, I  can relate. I haven't seen my family in almost 2 years and am too broke to afford a plane ticket to go visit them. Talking with your family on the phone or skype can help though. 

...2 years? Oh dear... sad.png and i was cribbing about my 10 months. 

i dnt think u're a spoilt brat now.

i used to think that earlier at times.this just makes u seem more attached and more emotional than others ur age.i totally relate because thats just my story.

the exception being when and if am gone to hostel ,i just cant be away for so many mnths at a stretch so either my mum visits me or i come to her.

in the beginning it will be as often as once a mnth visit may be.lol!

then i'd fly here on bigger festivals and she'll come visit very 2-3 mnths.

thankfully its easier and cheaper to book flights these days from these online sites

I wanted to visit my cousin sisters on Raksha Bandhan,but i have my GMAT coaching.I can't even meet my parents this Diwali and Dussehra sad.png...Hopefully they would meet me ...Yes i get attached to people very easily.I'm naive,i'm gullible...People take advantage of me. haha ...this world is full of unreliable people.

 

And yes,fortunately flights have become cheaper.Earlier Delhi to Dehradun was 8,000.Now it's around 4,000.Or 3,000 if i'm lucky wink.png .But it's hardly 260 kms. so Volvo bus is a good bet.But even then i get to see my parents once a year and that is during the summer vacations LOL. 

if u r very close to ur sisters,then i understand its sad.but otherwise i dont think u should worry too much about raksha bandhan in this stage of life.

remember,these few years is gonna make or break u.

i keep saying that to myself.

i am more and most attached to my family(parents and few relatives) otherwise i have very very few frnds who i am okay not meeting often, really.in fact i havent met them in 1-2 or even 3 years.

but i NEED to see my mum very often and also talk to her several times a day(even if its for 2-5 minutes).

actually this is the 1st time am gonna ever stay away from my house.so it IS a big deal for ME too.

i am gonna come here in durga puja for a few days i suppose.

not diwali or laxmi puja though(which are celebrated big way in my house).but anyway!

like i told u..keep telling urself 'all this will show results someday.its all necessary'.

 

plus,i am gonna have such tight schedule..i will probably not have time to even miss people properly.

i will have to invest atleast12-13 hours in books everyday religiously plus take care of household stuff.

(i am lil' freaky freaky when it comes to cleaning,germ free everything and i'm also gonna make oats or sattu or cut fruits for myself instead of/ along with food served in the cafeteria.)

anyway,sorry i rambled.

i was actually trying to help ur issue.lol!

 

i dnt know.

i am just gonna be there,do whats needed.

and take small breaks and come here,talk to u guys and with my family here.

i suggest u do the same.

i am always there if u need someone to talk to lil' bro!;p

 

 

*edit*

i know that not meeting frnds for years sounds gross.but honestly i have close frnds among them and its all okay.

but my closest among them all is anyway a penpal who lives in the US.we exchange emails about 3-4 times a week now if not regularly.

its something very defeating for me - i feel very bad considering that everybody has this group of 'great' frnds or u know bestest buds while i dnt have any such group or anyone i talk discuss my daily life with.

but i am hopeful.and i am sure i will find frnds or atleast a frnd who's just what i need and i am just what he/she needs.=)

*fairy like feelings*

 Since i'm the lone child of my parents,i'm close to my cousins.It's not about being close actually.It's the sanctity of a relationship which we celebrate so vigorously in India.While i understand the importance of education and that "this time" can make or break me but it just feels bad when i see my local Delhi friends celebrating every festival with their family.It's not jealousy but a feeling of longingness .Despite having six close friends i often end up looking at the blue sky wistfully.And yes,like you i have to talk to my mother regularly.I usually talk to her every 2 days but for a longer duration (45 minutes).

 

I want to get into INSEAD (France).It's the B-school of my dreams.I'm studying for a competitive GMAT score.So we'r in identical situations smile.png .Trying to make our own little place ,finding our ways in the labyrinth called life .

 

Didi i think you should invest some time in creating new relationships.Fostering a new relationship is like watering a plant.It will reap you dividends.Good friends invigorate you.If your life is an incomplete portrait then friends are the colors that complete it smile.png.

 

Lastly,always spare some time for acne.org no matter how busy you are. The website is truly blessed to have people like you who make others feel that they are always there for them smile.png.

i am the only child too and its more prominent for me because i'v spent my growing years in a joint family with two of my cousins who i am close to- one of them is now married and i am all gooey with my niece now(she's 3 and a half now).other than that i dnt feel much attached to any other cousins,honestly!

 

i know about the friends part and yes,i am always in search of friends but frankly one needs to share that intention.it's a two way bond.

i'v met and been with many who are all 'not-great-friends' so i steer clear whenever i feel its anything but pure friendship.

there's no denying that 'true' friends are rare.

also,unless its similar profession or classes ,its so difficult to maintain consistent contact.except for telecommunication or u know now a days there's whatapp ,wechat ,text messages and emails, etc.

i hope i make some good close friends soon.=)

i hope u get some cool friends who dnt let u feel 'lonely' anymore too!

 

thank you.

its two way here as well.

i come here and feel great even if i am able to be with one.but same way this place(apart from the few sick ones) is full of great people who dnt seem like strangers to me.i am particularly fond of a few old ones(older or those who were frequent when i joined - no judging but some of the new ones are ,lets say, avoidable).

i will always come here whenever i can.

=)



I've been crying all night, now my face is puffy, red, inflamed and extremely painful. I can't bear to look at my reflection, I just burst crying. My acne is at its worst and I'm literally out of options.

i am sorry that u're having a bad time.

but stressing is not going to help u.instead i will ask u to focus more on treating and healing it.

and i know its so difficult and frustrating to hear so.

but i say this from experience.

i wasnt here on this site when i was through my worst phase,i wish i was - for i suffered a lot without any right info,suggestion,help or support.


Itchy red raised skin - dermatitis??
http://www.acne.org/...-with-pictures/
 
huge pores
http://www.acne.org/...dwith-pictures/
 
indented scar
http://www.acne.org/...iswith-picture/
 
oils used for cooking
http://www.acne.org/...oilgood-or-bad/
 
inflamed whiteheads & clogged pores
http://www.acne.org/...twith-pictures/
 
my balanced diet chart and skincare routine(medications taken & products used now)
http://www.acne.org/...food-allergies/
http://www.acne.org/...incare-routine/
 

#5911 WishClean

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 10:26 PM

I've been crying all night, now my face is puffy, red, inflamed and extremely painful. I can't bear to look at my reflection, I just burst crying. My acne is at its worst and I'm literally out of options.

Sorry you feel so bad. I know it's tough, but try not to cry over your acne, it will just make you more depressed. Seek help on these forums and try to figure out the cause of your acne so you can treat it. There are so many approaches to take, that there's no way you could run out of options. Browse the forums to see what might work for you. 


Supplements: inositol, DIM, digestive enzymes [don't need them every day anymore, only on cheat days], herpanacine & vitamin C with rose hips [not every day], regular sun exposure for vitamin D3.

Lifestyle & Skin Care: Low histamine diet, avoiding unnecessary stress, balancing skin's PH (using Image Ormedics), using distilled/ filtered water to wash face, occasional high frequency facials... (although I have been slacking lately)

** Find the cause, find the cure **

 


#5912 snsdgirl14

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 11:41 PM

Skin is doing okay, still getting clogged pores as usual which then turn into big red marks after they're gone. Hopeful that my bumped up dosage of Spiro will take effect. 


[CURRENT REGIMEN]

AM:

Wash with La Roche-Posay Effaclar Foaming Gel (European version) + Clarisonic Mia

Apply CeraVe AM Moisturizer w/ SPF 30

Apply Aczone (dapsone) 
 

 

PM:

Wash with La Roche-Posay Effaclar Foaming Gel + Clarisonic Mia
Apply CeraVe PM Moisturizer 
Apply Epiduo (adapalene + benzoyl peroxide)
50 mg of Spironolactone 

 

[CURRENT STATUS]
90% clear

 


#5913 Lilly75

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 01:20 AM

Today was mostly a good day...but I've ended up feeling pretty horrible about how I look again...

 

It was interesting though - I had a few hours to kill between classes and was talking with a girl I went to high school with. I didn't know her well in school but I've got to know her more through uni - but we're not close friends or anything... just acquaintances I guess. I don't know how it came up but she told me how she'd never been around her boyfriend (of 1 year) without makeup. She said she was self conscious of her skin and I said I was like that too. The fact that I told her I felt the same about my skin is sort of a big deal for me because I've never spoken to people about my skin or acne or how they make me feel apart from my mum really. She said she has scarring but her main issue is rosacea / dermatitis / ocassional spots. I knew she didn't have perfect skin but for some reason didn't think it bothered her much - although she's always seemed quite 'image conscious.' Having this topic come up was awkward for me though... I didn't want to go into details of my skin / how it effects me but in a way it was comforting to hear that someone else (in my 'real life') was self conscious about this stuff too. She's probably not as self conscious as I am but still...

 

I also saw another girl who I haven't seen since high school on the bus home today. We were good friends back then but just lost touch. It was always a weird friendship for me because even though we got on really well, it was tough for me because she's gorgeous and that always made me extra self-conscious when I was around her. She wasn't doing anything to me but it just made me so much more aware of how I look and that made me think how ugly I am etc. So it was good to catch up with her today but again, I couldn't help but feel ugly and plain sitting next to her - and not just because of my skin being not great (it was also dry / flaky / gross looking today because I've been sick and using a tissue every 2 seconds is irritating / drying out my skin). And this girl has perfect skin of course. And then she starts talking about how guys are always approaching her and how she's a 'beacon for men.' Which I know to be true - she is always getting attention from guys - she's gorgeous. Everything seems perfect for her... smart, attractive, good job while at uni, just came back from a holiday with her boyfriend. I know this is just me 'looking in from the outside' but I just can't help but compare myself to her and wish I was at least pretty. Everything seems so much better and easier for people who are beautiful...

 

Anyway... just venting I guess.


Edited by Lilly75, 08 August 2013 - 01:21 AM.

Started The Acne.org Regimen 2nd July 2013

 


#5914 Feelin'SomeRhythm

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 03:58 AM

I've woken up this morning and my forehead has absolutely exploded in zits overnight :( They're the really deep, inset ones that you can't get out at the moment either and not even my usual trusty Bare Minerals is covering them up! I'm due in work in an hour, and I'm just sitting here panicking because my skin looks absolutely terrible :(

 

Only 11 days until I can FINALLY, after almost 3 months of waiting, start accutane...



#5915 LewisS

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 04:58 AM

On the acne front, my skin is pretty good, but I had this really persistent dry skin patches that kept coming back around my nose since doing the caveman regimen. Regret that dumb regimen, even if it did help my skin heal a little. 

 

I have started massaging those areas with jojoba oil for 10 minutes before I cleanse and it has cleared it up in a couple of days, so I'm going to keep that up. It seems like the oil builds up around there and then starts to flake off...yuck. 


Edited by LewisS, 08 August 2013 - 07:20 AM.


#5916 MaskedOne

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 05:56 AM

I'm in pretty bad shape. I've been visiting the derm daily for cortisone injections because I continue to get new cysts daily, and this is the only thing that stops inflammation.  I'm so sad.  I'm supposed to be on vacation right now.  I canceled reservations for the entire week. How can I go when I'm getting new cysts daily?  I didn't go to a concert a few nights ago because I didn't want anyone to see me.  I really didn't think I'd have to go on Accutane, but I'm not so sure now... I don't want my face to turn all red and have hyper-pigmentation.  My face has a pinkish undertone already.  I don't want to breakout worse than I already am!  Why is this happening?! 

 

I'm too sad to cry.  I force myself to eat because I know medicine will be better absorbed, but otherwise I have no appetite.  My body is revolting and I can't do anything to stop it.



#5917 Pianina

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 06:43 AM

My face is fine, no active acne right now.
But all I want right now is to fall asleep and never wake up. Everything else in my life is going so bad. 


Diagnosed with PCOS/Insulin resistance

Currently clear from acne.

Meds:


- Yasmin birth control 
- Spironolactone 50 mg
 
Skincare:

- Paula's Choice

Supplements:

- Innate Response Glucose Tolerance Factor Chromium, for blood sugar balancing 
- Innate Response DysBio-GI, against candida

Extra:

- Peppermint tea 2 cups/day
- Licorice tea 1 cup/day

 


#5918 fadedjay

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 07:47 AM

trying to stay positive but i can't feel anything so empty and numb.

 

Trying to strive to be with this girl but so confused.

 

Just another one of those days.



#5919 AbstractFactory

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 09:02 AM

On the acne front, my skin is pretty good, but I had this really persistent dry skin patches that kept coming back around my nose since doing the caveman regimen. Regret that dumb regimen, even if it did help my skin heal a little. 

 

I have started massaging those areas with jojoba oil for 10 minutes before I cleanse and it has cleared it up in a couple of days, so I'm going to keep that up. It seems like the oil builds up around there and then starts to flake off...yuck. 

Jojoba oil is the bomb. I mix it with a teaspoon of tea tree oil and one teaspoon of lavender oil and really impressed with the results.



#5920 lizardanne

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 10:48 AM

My skin seems to be doing better in general, although it's as red as a tomato, and now my breakouts are happening under my skin.  Pretty sure I burned it a bit from using too much AHA.  Gonna cut back on that and just use it every 2-3 days instead of every day with the moisturizer.  Lesson learned.






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