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NewDae

Maybe I was Hitler in my previous life.

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Sorry.. I need to vent.

I went to the derm. yesterday and got this laser thing done.

More than two hundred dollars a session, every three weeks. I feel like the most self-centered bitch in the universe. My parents both work long hours everyday with little than two off days each, and there I was lying there trying to fix my severely scarred skin. $1,250~ spent there, and my skin still looks like crap.

There's two type of laser treaments there, but that day I was doing a real painful one. They numbed my face with numbing cream 30 minutes prior to the treatment, but it still fucking hurt. 10 minutes in to the procedure, my eyes started watering and I felt like I was about to cry... Imagine three to four skinny needles puncturing your skin every three seconds, in rhythm. I don't know what was worse; the pain, or knowing when it was going to hit me again.

Near the end of the procedure, instances of my mom wearily coming home from work late at night kept flashing past my eyes. Then all those times when people at school made fun of me for crap skin... All those glares.

What did I do that was so wrong?!!

I feel like I'm being punished.

but for WHAT?!

If I think of all the emotional burden I vented out on my mother about my skin...

If I think of all the money my mother put into all this in attempts to fix my skin...

If I think of all the times she took me out on her off-days to make me feel better...

Oh my God.

Why can't I just die.

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I feel like the most self-centered bitch in the universe.

Hey there, I know you might not believe in God, or anything of the sort, but I'm pretty sure this oughta cheer you up.

John 3:20: If our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts and knows everything

Your mother clearly loves you. The fact that you spent quite a bit of money on treatments and have had little to no results is not going to change this.

Why don't you show her some appreciation? Do something special for her. I'm sure she will love it.


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EDIT:

The best way to get out of an "emotional rut" is to do nice things for other people. Seeing a smile on someones face and seeing how they truly appreciate whatever you do for them will cheer up anybody


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I understand the feeling of failure. Seems like the results we expect rarely come.

You're not being punished. Nobody deserves to be in such pain, but it happens to all of us in different ways. We envy the problems of others, because their problems must be so much easier to deal with. Yes, that jealousy is all too familiar.

Instead of feeling like you unfairly burdened your mother, be thankful that she is willing to fight by your side. What an amazing gift to have. Your parents love you dearly. I'm sure they would sacrifice just about anything if it meant you could be happy. Don't feel guilty about this.

I'm not attempting to belittle your frustrations over acne, but it's become rather obvious that you have been given a wonderful gift.

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I feel like the most self-centered bitch in the universe.

Hey there, I know you might not believe in God, or anything of the sort, but I'm pretty sure this oughta cheer you up.

John 3:20: If our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts and knows everything

Your mother clearly loves you. The fact that you spent quite a bit of money on treatments and have had little to no results is not going to change this.

Why don't you show her some appreciation? Do something special for her. I'm sure she will love it.

....

EDIT:

The best way to get out of an "emotional rut" is to do nice things for other people. Seeing a smile on someones face and seeing how they truly appreciate whatever you do for them will cheer up anybody

I'm not exactly very religious, but I do believe God exists.

Thank you so much for that ... thank you so much :]

Thank you so much for your advice. I've been wanting to do something for her...but I really don't know what. Hopefully I'll think of something, I guess.

Honestly. Thank you so much for replying and giving me your advice

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I understand the feeling of failure. Seems like the results we expect rarely come.

You're not being punished. Nobody deserves to be in such pain, but it happens to all of us in different ways. We envy the problems of others, because their problems must be so much easier to deal with. Yes, that jealousy is all too familiar.

Instead of feeling like you unfairly burdened your mother, be thankful that she is willing to fight by your side. What an amazing gift to have. Your parents love you dearly. I'm sure they would sacrifice just about anything if it meant you could be happy. Don't feel guilty about this.

I'm not attempting to belittle your frustrations over acne, but it's become rather obvious that you have been given a wonderful gift.

I guess I'm just very paranoid in life now. It pretty much dominates my thoughts these days :/

I've been around too many two-faced people in my life.. especially during high school. I know it's probably not true, but I sometimes involuntarily imagine my parents exhausted of all the problems I've burdened onto them... and I don't want to be a burden onto anyone...

Thank you nonetheless :wub:

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After seeing laser treatments featured on MTV's TrueLife "I Have Acne" I will NEVER EVER do them! The one girl's skin was so bad after she couldn't go outside for a week and a half. Literally.

But I agree with the others, just be thankful to her, and show her you are grateful.


Regimen

AM; Wash w/ Clearasil Sensitive Formula, Moisturize with Combination Sensitive Moisturizer from Neutrogena.

PM; Wash w/ Clearasil Sensitive Formula . Finacea.

Finacea is a new addition to my regimen. My acne is pretty mild according to everyone, but I get really down about it. I do like Finacea. I Recently switched from Neutrogena AHA to the Combination Moisturizer..I suspect the fragrance (just found out it was in the AHA) has been breaking me out.


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It seems your mother loves you and supports you very much, you are very lucky. :)

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After seeing laser treatments featured on MTV's TrueLife "I Have Acne" I will NEVER EVER do them! The one girl's skin was so bad after she couldn't go outside for a week and a half. Literally.

But I agree with the others, just be thankful to her, and show her you are grateful.

Seriously? There's a show about having acne?

I must go watch :[

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