Dermo visit...take two

So I must say my second dermatologist visit was better than my first. For one, I didn't cry one bit, OR get recommended for antidepressants. lol. And two I set up an appointment for my first microdermabrasion...I'm excited. heh. Me and my mom have already decided that even if it doesn't work we're still going to act like it made a difference. That way I'll at least think I'm happy about my skin. hahah...hopefully, hopefully it'll at least have some kind of difference though. I'll try to remember to let you guys know how it goes.

SO this is how my first dermo visit was.

I've done a ton and a half of research on acne scar repairmen for my forehead. I read about different peoples results, and what to possibly expect when visiting a dermatologist. I was completely prepared for him to suggest the most expensive laser surgery to try to make money off of me....because some people have said that was the case. I was prepared to tell him what I wanted done. I was prepared to stand firm and not get something done that wouldn't really end up helping. I was prepared..........I THOUGHT I was prepared. I wasn't.

I get there talk to two other ladies before finally my actual dermatologist enters. He's wearing something over his eyes to magnify my scars for a closer look, I'm guessing. He asks me a series of questions about my history with acne and scars. Then to my surprise he tells me he wouldn't really recommend any acne scar treatment, just acne treatment for a few minor pimples. I was so prepared for him to pick out the most expensive thing to make money off of me, and he recommended NOTHING, because he didn't think they were serious enough. Oh and I should probably add that my scars aren't just red dots that go away, I mean I have those, but I also have some indents.

THEN he asked questions about my life because he starts getting concerned about the possibility of depression. At that my mother was like "She is not depressed." Like it was the craziest idea ever. And I just sat there surprised...how could my mom who I live with not even consider the idea that I'm kinda at a slump at the moment and really am not that happy, and a man I just met so clearly see it. Well soon enough I started to cry, and....thats pretty much it. lol.

This is just a little warning to people who may be visiting a dermatologist in the near future...be prepared.

Little dots

So I wanted to go to the store and buy Neutrogena post acne mark fading peel(which btw I think is really helping my scars..I recommend it), when my younger sister who doesn't have any skin problems whatsoever is like, "How many products are you gonna buy for your acne?!"

My response: "First of all I don't buy that much stuff for my acne, I don't even care about my mild acne. I only my scars GONE."

My 22 year old brothers response: "You mean those little dots on your forehead?"



I just thought I'd share that with you guys, because I thought it was funny. To me my scars are these deep, hideous valley like indents that make me feel like my face was attacked by some wild animal that gouged out my skin, leaving me looking hideous. To my brother, a guy, they are little dots.

Things are not always as they seem

I stare for hours in the mirror
Nobody can quite see
All they can understand
Is my major vanity

To compensate for my loss
I imagine that I'm famous
Not the type that's arrogant
But of the kind that's just

Because I don't feel pretty enough
I pretend like I am flawless
As if that would take away my problems
And I wouldn't be such a mess

I know looks shouldn't matter
But as I click on the TV
The media says otherwise
I can never quite feel free

I don't want to see myself in public
To see the imperfections on my face
I'll wait until I'm home
Because it's a safer place

Then I want to smack myself
In a world with so much pain
Would this even qualify?
Oh, why am I so vain?

Nobody makes fun of me
Though they might of some
I simply don't feel good enough
I can't predict whats to come

I wish more could understand
I don't want to think this way
But I crash, and can't help it
Though I want the hope to stay

1st Peter 1:3-8 (It helped me)

needling once a week?

Okay so I've heard that you should only needle acne scars once a month or longer so you don't ruin the new collagen being built, I've also read about someone that needled acne scars once a week and it worked. If blood starts collagen build up, wouldn't it help to needle once a week, as opposed to once a month? I know it can increase scarring, but wouldn't you want your scars to become thicker anyways? I don't care, just as long as I can smooth them out. I've been needling once a week for about three weeks now, and maybe notice a slightly softer feeling around my scars, but nothing too noticable, I'm just wondering if in the long run needleing once a week could make them worse...Idk maybe I just like the swelling after I needle.