Just another rant.

I hate the fact that I have acne at all.
I hate the fact that Accutane has almost gotten rid of my acne, but I'm left with a whole bunch of red marks and scars that look almost as bad as the acne itself did.
I hate the fact that Accutane has added dry skin onto my big list of skin problems. I regret going on Accutane.
I hate the fact that I've neglected my overall appearance, because if my skin isn't perfect, what's the point in making an effort at all?
I hate the looks of pity I get from strangers.
I hate that my mother blames me for my skin problems, saying that I don't wash my face enough or don't take care of my skin, when I actually spend excessive amounts of time doing so.
I hate how shallow people are.
I hate the fact that I've got nothing good going for me to compensate for my bad skin.
I hate people with perfect skin.
I hate that I have no social life because of my lack of self esteem due to my bad skin.
I hate looking in the mirror through squinted eyes, or not looking at the mirror at all, because I'm afraid of what I'll see.
I hate it when I think I'm having an 'ok skin' day, and my mother wrecks it by pointing out my scars.
I hate looking at old photos of myself, when I had perfect skin, and realising that I should've appreciated it more.
I hate the fact that I'm 17 and will probably never be able to look people in the eye again.

Did I do something bad in my past life or something?

I'm a 17 year old girl and ever since my acne started getting really bad (about the middle of the last year) my self esteem has just disappeared. I'm one and a half months into my Accutane treatment, I don't see any improvement and my lips are killing me. I've already resigned myself to the fact that it isn't gonna work and even if it does I'll still look like crap with my marks and scars - so I'm considering going off it. I don't bother dressing nicely or buying new clothes, can't be screwed putting on makeup anymore (whereas a few months ago I used to pile it on to cover my acne, now I just don't care) and have neglected my hair. I absolutely hate my facial features, I'm so much uglier than I was, let's say, 3 years ago. I could probably tell you 1 or 2 other people that look worse than I do. I have 'friends' but they're more like acquantainces - I feel like an outsider at school, I can't relate to anyone and every time I come home I feel so down that I just binge eat, so I'm probably going to be fat soon. I feel like people only talk to me because they feel sorry for me. I constantly compare myself to other people. I'm a pretty good student, but only because I work hard to take my mind of these things, not because I'm naturally smart. I come from a single parent family and for us, that comes with a lot of problems so I have to worry about that too.

And the worst thing is, I know a lot of this isn't just self esteem related. For example, my mother told me a few weeks ago that I'm getting fatter and uglier every day. So it's not just in my head.

I know all this sounds whingy but I really have to ask, why me? Some of it is probably my fault but other things aren't like my facial features. Why did I have to be born ugly?

And I'm extremely jealous of all you guys, after reading through the forums and looking at your photos I can see that you're good looking people and that for most of you acne is the only thing stopping you from having a good time and living your life. For me acne is just the tip of the iceberg

Feeling discouraged while on Accutane

I've been on Accutane for a little over a month (20mg for the first month, then my dosage was raised to 40mg a couple of days ago). I feel awful. I haven't seen any improvement (not that I expect any yet), my face is red and very very dry, my lips are so dry that if I don't apply Chapstick every half an hour it hurts when I open my mouth and I feel like my acne is getting even more inflamed. It seems like my scars are getting more noticeable and I'm left thinking, "What's the point of getting rid of my acne when I'll still have the disgusting scars left on my face?"

Did/does anyone else have these kinds of feelings while on Accutane? I really need some encouraging words right now.

Very, very upset right now

I was eating dinner today and out of the blue my mother deicdes to point out my scars to my whole family. I knew that they were there but still, after hearing her comments tonight, I feel sick. I have moderately severe acne and am on my first month off Accutane but I'm starting to think 'what's the point' if I'm just going to have these ugly scars all over my face even after the acne's gone.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I've had acne ever since I was 12 years old, I'm now 17 and started taking Accutane today as prescribed by my dermatologist. I've been reading all the posts on this website and one thing I notice is that people often say things like "When I'm acne free I can start living my life again", "I'm gonna feel so confident once my acne goes away" and "I'll finally feel attractive once I have no pimples." People say this like it is their only problem appearance-wise and while I'm sure this is true for most people, it isn't for me. The thing is, I will probably feel a little more confident if my acne clears up, but there are so many other things wrong with me that will prevent me from ever feeling fully confident. I have stretch marks (not from being overweight, but from a massive growth spurt I had when I was 13), my facial features are generally ugly, I have a big nose...basically just things you can't change. I would happily trade all these un-improvable physical imperfections for more severe acne (which, at least, is treatable). Does anyone else feel like this?