Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'depression'.

Found 375 results

  1. Hello. First of all, don't get too excited if you're in a similar situation to me and were hoping this post would hold the fix for long-term (Ro)accutane damage. I just wanted to express my situation and see if anyone can help. I'm bored of reading depressing no-way-out answers and I refuse to give up and stop trying to fix myself. I'm also not inviting those who say the side effects aren't caused by this drug - I am 100% sure, and have read enough posts from others to know that Accutane isn't simply 'out' of your system after a month. I've read several theories into why things like IBS, Erectile Dysfunction and knee problems can occur months or years after stopping treatment. I'm talking about the liver storing the high-levels of Vitamin A, Accutane staying in the colon, and even something - which if it's true means only bad news - to do with DNA change and 'Telomere' shortening, which means a slow but sure decrease in health(This has been written by Nathan Carr, who you may of heard of). But I'm not writing to find out which of these theories, if any, is true. I want to see if anyone can actually give good advice on supplements/diet, or whatever else, to repair damage from this poison. Below, I will list the details of when I took this drug and what side effects I have + how I cope with life. One last thing - Anyone saying that these side effects are rare, i.e 1%, forget it. 1% reported. Since taking this drug, my life has been limited and difficult. I'm not in that 1% statistic because I haven't reported it directly to the manufacturer. I expect the figure is a lot higher. As I said, side effects can come on AFTER taking this, so people could be ignorant to the cause. However, I know better, and after watching my health drop dramatically while/after taking Accutane, I can firmly say it's the cause. Let's begin ... Basics: I'm 21 at the end of this month. It's now 5 years since I touched Ro-accutane (Ro-accutane is just the British name for it). I took it from December 2005 - May 2006. I was meant to finish in June, but stopped due to feeling very depressed/suicidal (because of the drug). My problems are below... - Dry Eyes (Severe) - E.D/ Low Libido (Started last year and has gone on consistently since) - Hair-loss (Including eyebrows, facial hair 'gaps' and body hair) - Slow Healing (Shaving is a pain now - No, it's not my technique) - Lack of sebum (oil) - Brain Fog/ Memory problems - Somewhat minor - Anxiety (mainly because of the other side effects - i.e. dry eyes causing me to feel embarassed about eye contact) - Excessive hair (Not related to head, but my beard grows high up on cheeks and even on the outside of my nose) - I believe I look older than I should due to lack of oil - Joint/Muscle problems - Aches/ Slow recovery - Excessive sweating.. Terrible if I go running at the gym, for example. - Dry mouth - Nosebleeds more than I should - Fatigue - Overall depression and confusion (*Rhetorical question* Is this a direct symptom or am I like it because of all the other side-effects stressing me out?) That's what I can think of for now. Of course, I wasn't told about half of these being a possibly problem and I was told any side-effects will be temporary. I was 15, so I had no reason not to trust the Doc's word. I've tried lots of different supplements (a lot of which I still take just incase they are helping/slowing down the problems) including Omega 3, Biotin, B-Complex, Vitamin E, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Collagen, Hyaluronic acid, Aloe Vera Juice, MSM, Colostrum, Garlic, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Acetyl L-Cysteine, Milk Thistle, Dandelion Root, Quercetin, Tumeric. So, yeah, I've tried a lot of things. The Milk Thistle and Dandelion Root are recent additions because despite having my liver test results come back as positive, I've heard your liver can still not be functioning correctly and people are given liver tests monthly while taking this drug for a reason, right? I'm starting to eat better foods as this sh*t taught me that Natural is the way to go. I still binge on cakes and that occasionally - Mainly for comfort. I'm average weight and height, but want to cut out processed foods to support my body. I don't want to make this EXTREMELY long, so I'll cut it short. I'm currently seeing a Homeopathy about these problems. And Yes, I know "Science says it's boll*cks", and I don't understand how it's supposed to work, but sometimes you have to think outside the box and give things a go. I don't have high hopes for things getting better these days, but I'm not giving up. There is so much more I could say, but let me know your thoughts. I don't want to hear negative and hopeless responses. What HAS helped you? Acne.org seems to be the biggest place to speak about this, but we NEED the word out, so the 'experts' can do the research instead of hoping for someone else to fix us. Thanks for reading, Indy.
  2. 4 months with Diane-35

    Already doing 4 months into this birth control pill... It has been a roller-coaster trip. Emotionally and physically. The good news? My ACNE has get a lot better, but it hasn´t disappear completely. I have already said it, but the thing of the breasts getting bigger is 100% true!. Also, my hirsutism has improve. And I don´t have massive, long periods as before. The bad side effects? First things first, my mood: I feel sometimes SO depressed, not knowing why. And my tummy is swollen as it has NEVER been before, I feel as if i was pregnant or something. And my appetite has increased a lot! In conclusion, it´s the pill worth it? Definitely. Is it going to make your life better suddenly, will all your problems disappear? Absolutely not. I don´t know, This is what I feel about it now. I will continue posting.
  3. So for the past 5 years I have been living with severe extreme acne. It's torn my life apart, made me a shell of my former self and has made me a recluse. But what does living with extreme severe acne really feel like? It makes you hate yourself, the way you look, the way you feel. It leaves you with crippling depression, with no hope for the future. You feel lost, alone, empty. You can try every diet, regime, products there are out there - all will and have failed. It will not only be painful mentally, however it will physically be painful. I struggle to even sleep with it. It makes you not want to go to sleep at night because you're petrified about going through the next day all over again. You slowly starting losing friends but more importantly, you start losing your family. You don't leave the house, you spend all of your weekends indoors whilst everyone else lives their lives. You can't even go meet the person you're madly in love with because you're so ashamed and scared. All hopes for a future are non-existent; your life literally revolves around pain, shame, and suffering. You envy and despise every person you walk by in life, who you see on TV, your friends, your family who have clear skin and think they don't know just how lucky they are. You constantly dream about what your life would be like with clear skin. Without this pain. Your mind becomes a toxic pool of harmful, depressive thoughts that make you want to do things to relieve the pain but you're too scared. I have tried so much stuff over these past few years. All have failed. I get people telling me I look incredibly ill because, well, I am ill. My face is just covered in huge cysts, bumps, redness, scars - I am barely recognisable to people I once knew well. You know the worst thing? Right now Im doing everything these so called 'experts' say to do. Have a good skincare regime, eat organic, drink my body weight and then some in water, don't drink, smoke - however every day it gets worse. The current acne I have doesn't heal either, it just stays inflamed and red. To anyone reading this who struggled with severe acne - and im not talking about the odd spots here and there that are easy to deal with - this is for people like myself who's condition is extreme and serious; I know what you'r going through and if you ever need an outlet to let people know just how broken you are - please don't hesitate to share your feelings. People NEED to know just how crippling this skin disease is.
  4. Hello Everyone. Won't keep this too formal, but like many of you I tried Accutane, had a few minor side-effects while i was on it, like dry lips and skin, blood noses, dry eyes, soreness after sport, etc. Then when I discontinued Accutane, some of these effects left, but were replaced with other far more insidious side effects. In no particular order these included: -Erectile Dysfunction -Depression -Fatigue -Joint Pain and more injuries -Low Testosterone These are just the core ones. If you have these, it goes on to affect every other aspect of your life, like you become less social, and feel anxiety in social situations. It also means you no longer enjoy things you used to enjoy doing, like sports, especially seeing you’re feeling sore from it and can’t seem to gain strength anyway due to low T, or see the point in studying to do well in University because you don’t know what you want to do anymore, and struggle to picture a future where you are happy and fulfilled. You don’t want to get into a relationship and you don’t feel like you deserve one, especially because you don’t know whether you could physically perform in one, etc, etc. The fact that you don’t see an end in sight to these maladies is what makes the situation seem more hopeless, more despairing, and it is why many people commit suicide, especially in a society that insists in “all in your head” or ”you’re imagining it” “X, Y and Z had it as well and they are fine, so just get over it”. Because on the outside you look the same, people disregard it, and it is only because of the people that lost hope and ended it the only way they knew how that this issue has been acknowledged by the world, but it is still far from accepted. Anyway, luckily a lot of this bullshit for many of you should be over soon (approx 3-6 months) I have come to the conclusion that the long term side effects of Accutane is due to brain damage. The downside to this conclusion is that brain damage can’t be cured. The upside is that the difference between a poorly managed TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), and a well managed TBI are like black and white, and if managed well you will be VERY close to 100%, but poorly managed and you will feel… maybe very similar to how you feel now. These are the symptoms of a TBI Fatigue or lethargy Irritability Depression Anxiety Difficulty falling asleep Feeling “slowed down” Feeling “in a fog” or “dazed” Difficulty concentrating Difficulty remembering becoming fatigued easily; disordered sleep; Headache; Loss of libido, erectile dysfunction; vertigo or dizziness; irritability or aggression on little or no provocation; anxiety, depression, or affective instability; changes in personality (eg, social or sexual inappropriateness); or apathy or lack of spontaneity. If these sound familiar, that not a bad thing. If you found out you are short sighted and needed to wear glasses, then it means now you can wear glasses, so you no longer need to suffer the symptoms of your blindness. Same thing here. You are currently dealing with the symptoms the best you can. However, now knowing what the actual issue is you can treat it the way science has shown it should be treated. The best measurable way to recover from a TBI is to improve neuroplasticity. This has been shown in many other animals as well as humans, and is now becoming a prominent way to treat many mental illnesses. The most conventional way is through “Mindfulness Meditation”, which is a form of meditation where you get comfortable and try to think of nothing for 10-30 minutes a day. This has been shown to promote Neurogenesis/Neuroplasticity1 and this has been shown to help people with suicidality, PTSD, anxiety, addiction and depression, as well as chronic pain, insomnia, and hypertension. The way I’m treating myself is through the nutrition approach. It has been shown that creatine, fish oil, (unheated) extra virgin olive oil, vitamin d, zinc, magnesium, glutamine, taurine all also promote neuroplasticity. The Ketogenic Diet also helps promote Neuroplasticity, and many people who go on that diet who struggle with libido problems and are on antidepressants recover over the months and years they are on that diet. I have been doing these things for the last 5 months, and ahve noticed a great improvement in both my mental and physical health. I'm in a bit of a rush but wanted to get all this out there, so be forgiving of any and all poor formatting. Also challenge this and use what I've found to build up your own theories, and if you agree feel free to find other things we could be doing to promote neuroplasticity and improve our recoveries! Best of luck everyone 1(when looking up your own research on the topic these terms are virtually interchangeable, the ways to measure it are changes in brain metabolism and hippocampul growth) Interesting studies + exerts http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2716748/ "Beneficial changes in the brain energy profile have been observed in subjects who are on a ketogenic diet (28). This is a significant observation because cerebral hypometabolism is a characteristic feature of those who suffer from depression or mania" Exert from a study on meditation https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2719544/ (Decreased stress and hypertension have been related to decreased autonomic arousal or reactivity,95–97 a possible means, along with positive emotions, reduced oxidative damage,98,99 and enhanced immune functioning,100 by which meditation may preserve cognition101 and reduce age-related allostatic stress and neuronal loss, thereby promoting brain longevity, plasticity, and learning) Nutritional treatment for acute and chronic traumatic brain injury patients. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/24844176/?i=6&from=/24605947/related "omega 3 fats, vitamin D, N-Acetylcysteine, branched chain amino acids, zinc, alpha-lipoic acid, magnesium, taurine, coenzyme Q10, and many phytonutrients" http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3705194/ Mindfulness Meditation can stimulate hippocampal brain cell growth. A smaller hippocampus is correlated with a poorer recovery from TBIs, in the case of war veterans suffering PTSD at least. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/11079535/ Study supporting Creatine consumption as one of the top supplements for recovering from a TBI, and this one supports Taurine use as well. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/27156064/ Sources (For my mindblowing hypothesis) Functional brain imaging alterations in acne patients treated with isotretinoin. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15863802 Traumatic brain injury: a disease process, not an event. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20504161 Ketogenic Diet research article (contains research on how keto diet resets brain metabolism after TBI and how it is neuroprotective) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK209323/?report=classic Will add more stuff to OP over time, and reformat it as well
  5. My acne solution..

    Hello folks, made an account to share what has helped me with my acne. I'm a 29 year old man. From the age of 14, I suffered from horrible cystic acne. The only thing that got rid of the cysts was accutane. If you have cysts and haven't tried accutane, do so. Asap. Before accutane I tried everything else. Antibiotics, creams, you name it. My folks while well intentioned, (a friend's son used accutane and had a mental breakdown) delayed my trying it by years. Immediate results, never had cysts again. Up until a few months ago, I still had pimples. What worked to clear that up was to stop drinking milk and other dairy. I also rest the side of my face on my forearm or back of hand instead of pillowcase. Try these things out. Acne has caused me a lot of heartache, I hope these tips help someone out there.
  6. Hi, i'm following the acne.org regimen since 7 weeks now and i still breaking out, this gonna do 2 weeks i add AHA+ to my regimen and i wanted to know if i have to pop my pimples if i'm following the regimen or have to don't touch it ?
  7. 02/28/17

    okay so i have had fairly clear skin all my life until the age of 16. my acne got really bad when i started a new school (mental health based) and i saw so many girls with makeup. some complimented my skin so as a way to keep up with that i started using face products (which i never did in my 16 years of life). i think using face products really *sorry or the language* fucked up my face. may be that, or it may not be. my face is really bad now and i cry everyday. i don't want to go to school anymore because i can't let people see my face. i have been absent these two last days and i went to the hospital last week as a result of a huge panic attack. i don't know what to do with myself anymore. i started to do the caveman regimen 2/3 days ago as a way to go back to when i had clear skin but my face is full with white thingies and flaky stuff and i can't deal with it. tomorrow i'm not going to school again and i'm scared, i don't want to miss school but i can't go. im going to see a dermatologist for the first time tomorrow, and i hope they're good and they help me get rid of it as sons as possible.
  8. So here is my story. I've been battling acne since the age of 18. Initially my acne was not too bad, i had few breakouts on my forehead, but still it made me feel very uncormfortable.I went to see a dermatologist and he prescribed tetraysal antibiotic for almost 2 years, which has helped me a lot. No blemishes at all while taking it. I stopped taking it and my acne was under control until i got married at 22. since then my acne has changed. i started having small cycts on my chin. I' ve used a number of harsh anti acne lotions; clean and clear, murad, ZO skin name it. it helped me only for a bit. no success with cycts. i gave birth in 2015 and after that my acne went crazy. i started having cysts on my cheeks!!!!! my cheeks used to be so beautiful and now they are covered by pimples and scars from them. So i've tried everything; dairy free diet, candida diet, gluten free diet, sugar free diet. nothing helped. i've tried doing accupunture, regular sports, drinking lots of water- nothing. i even went to see a naturopath and paid lots of money to get supplements and vitamins against acne. It does help but only a little bit, my acne is not under control. it gets worse when i ovulate and when i menstruate. I am so against taking accutane, but sometimes i think it is the only option that i have... i feel desperate and ugly. my skin looks horrible. i lost confidence and i feel so sad all the time. i try to approach my problem by using natural and chemical free products, eating organic food... but it does not help. i am so depressed i don't know what to do
  9. Hi to everyone who is reading, I should probably be studying because exams are coming up but here I am in bed crying. My acne had gotten so bad and everyone is pointing it out even my parents/siblings they don't want me going places with them. I started online school because people would make fun of me and I was thinking about going back to school but I have the worst panic attacks when I go out. I just feel ugly and I have ugly cysts and scars and my entire forehead is just covered with bumps pimples and cysts. I've had this two cysts on my cheek for 4 months now it won't go away. I'm slowly becoming a vegan again I don't eat meat but I do sometimes have cheese/tuna that's something I'm trying to cut off. I know my acne is genetics/hormonal but I'm just so sick of it.I don't use any face washes or creams, I do often try turmeric face mask that's it. I took antibiotics for 4 months it really helped but now I'm off it for a month and I can see all the cysts forming. I've done everything I've tried every face wash, benzoyl peroxide everything I can think of I don't know what to do. Accutane isn't an option my brother took it and got horrible side effects he still struggles with. None of my doctors seem to know anything they keep giving me benzoyl and antibiotics. I don't know what to do I've reached my lowest point:(
  10. My Accutane log

    So, I've been on Accutane 20mg for 5 weeks and I'm really just making this log for others to see and to show you guys any improvements and to get advice from you guys. So far my side effects have been there but have been manageable; dry lips, dry eyes causing them to go red, back pain and slight depression but not too bad just the odd sign and feeling of social anxiety. Here are pictures I've been taking to document my experience so far: Day I started Accutane 20mg Second week Fourth week Please let me know if you have any advice or any queries, also I will be updating every two weeks during my accutane course.
  11. Girls can pass on their bad genetics no matter how ugly they are because they are the most important sex, because they create new life. Most guys are disposable. A short thin girl will get called petite and cute, and then she reproduces and creates a short ugly guy that will get called a scrawny weakling his whole life. All guys, except for tall attractive guys will date almost anything as long as she isn't obese or anorexic thin. When I say bad acne I mean it has to all be on your face, body acne doesn't matter. Like this
  12. To begin: I'll spare you the long and grueling details of how I came to accutane as my last resort (however if you're nosey you can find the full story in my other posts) and here I am on month 2, week 2. My side effects thus far have been somewhat minor, just uncomfortable. Dry itchy scalp/dandruff, off and on rashes on the backs on my hands, eczema like dry patches on my upper arms, chapped lips, and (thing might be gross but at least I'm honest) bloody poop and bloody noses because of cracking dry skin... everywhere (ew). But despite these issues I'm having, I'm actually having the hardest time loving and accepting myself. I went from being completely focused and obsessed with how terrible my skin was to now obsessing over my body and weight. I have never really been like this before this past year, and I'm not sure if I have some emotional problem or I'm transferring this consistent self loathing energy onto something new now that the old one is doing better. I have been fixating on everything I eat; if it's good for me I don't feel full but I feel okay, if I overeat or eat junk I completely HATE myself and my own lack of control to the point where I cry and cry and cry. I pinpoint areas of my body I dislike and see them in every picture, all the clothes I wear and more myself to other people constantly. I want to be thin so bad, but I'm already considered healthy with a BMI of 20.1? I have not gained any weight but I see myself as 15 lbs bigger. Is this severe low self esteem a side effect of accutane? Or is it me?
  13. So I haven't posted on here for a good while. Im 24 now and when I was 19 I started to develop severe acne that progressed from mild. Iv'e pretty much lost all that I can think of in my life and then some because of it all - jobs, friends, relationships, family - my future. I did get my skin to a manageable point about 2 years ago on Dan Kern's regime and have been using his products the past 2 years however they slowly started to lose their effect and my skin just tolerated it more and more. These past 2 months my skin is the worst it's ever been. Deep, red, painful cysts, whiteheads, papules, you name it. It disgusts me to even look at myself. And you know the hardest thing? I don't even know why it keeps getting worse and worse. Im getting clusters of acne on top of current acne, my skin is so red it's embarrassing. My diet is probably the healthiest it's even been, organic everything, no sugar, grains, dairy, gluten, anything. I take powerful supplements, all the ones that get recommended however nothing seems to budge it, or even make a slight difference - especially just lately. Now I have to admit I just recently started to use a tinted moisturiser and a mens foundation that I think could be causing me to have more severe breakouts but the cache 22 is that I cant leave the house if I havent applied it to hide my shame. My skin regime is pretty crap too since Im too scared to even try new stuff. The only thing i use is dans cleanser and moisturiser, i dont like BP anymore since it dries out my skin too much and plus my acne has become somewhat immune to it. Ive got no future, friends, family bonds, ive got nothing. It's rid me of everything. Acne needs to be taken way more seriously than it is, it's a killer. It breaks you down and tortures you. There must be a reason why every person I know, who I see in the street doesn't have severe acne like me - what's wrong with me internally to be doing this? Heavy metals? Im a loner, a recluse. I want to travel and get away but im stuck, because of how severe my acne is. I just don't know what to do anymore - i have tried everything apart from accutane. I am severely depressed and Im not ashamed to admit it.
  14. Hi. Ok so my acne right now is the worst its been since high school! Im desperately needing help! Im 31 and suffer from hormonal acne. December was an extremely stressful time for me. (A death in family and another traumatic event happened). My face, around my mouth, just exploded with acne! Some of the acne went away, but the hyperpigmentation is really bad! Cysts, pustules and whiteheads. Id been using Cetaphil Oily Skin face wash as my skin is quite oily. With Benzac Ac 5% gel. Followed by Cetaphil Dermacontrol Moisturizer SPF 30 Sunscreen. At night was the same, but with standard Cetaphil moisturiser. It was all working semi-ok. I havent had clear skin since I was 14, but this routine gave me only 2-3 breakouts at a time. Now, as you can see in the photos, Its a hell of alot more! I am currently on Zinc tablets and Doxycycline 100mg. I have been for a decent 10 years and I dont think its doing much but my fear to stop is huge. My dr who is wonderful says it is helping. I also probably need to add that I do have an eating disorder (anorexia) so I know my diet isnt great. Its too low but im doing quite well with water. Having atleast 2L a day. So. I got desperate. It was worsening my depression so I came online to think what to do and I read about the Caveman Regimen. I decided since Im not working and never wear make up anyway I thought it actually made sense. It sounded crazy and scary as hell but it still made sense. Im now on day 2 of Caveman Regimen and its not as scary as day 1. I thought my face would be dripping with oil but its not. I have made my own version of Caveman Regimen though. I couldnt not wash 100%. So my morning shower i let water fall over my face but only for a few seconds. I lightly rub with hands. Once out, i very very gently pat with a soft face cloth. Then let it to dry properly itself. Once dry I do use Cetaphil Dermacontrol Moisturizer SPF 30 because i can not not wear a sunscreen. At night just before bed I splash luke warm water over it and very lightly pat dry maybe once or twice. Thats it. Im not getting the flaking so much and my acne is the same. I was expecting it to be worse but im feeling positive about this. Im definitely going to keep trying it coz I have nothing to lose any more. My depression couldnt have gotten worse. My other issue is hyperpigmentation which is also why I need the sunscreen. Any help, or any advice, or ANYTHING, feedback would be so helpful.
  15. (For the explanation of the topic itself, skip to the button.) Honestly if no one reads this, it's ok. Too long, didn't read for you? It's ok. I don't blame you. I know, it's really long. I just need to get these emotions out. I wanted to do this many times before, but I didn't, and now here I type. History of me and my acne (if uninterested, feel free to skip) I need to pour all of these emotions out somewhere. I'm tired of locking myself up in my room and screaming silently and crying and hating myself. And I wanna see if anyone else feels the same or is going through the same thing. I never thought that I'd be posting here. A couple months ago, I never even knew that websites like these existed. Why? Let me begin. I used to have a flawless, clear, acne-free face (except for blackheads, but they were barely noticable). I had acne during the 5th grade, but I was young and didn't care that much, and once in 6th grade I don't recall ever having acne (except for once in a while, and the acne would always disappear in a matter of days, and the worst scarring I got went away completely in a month). All the way until 11th grade, I had a clear skin and people would wonder what I was using on my face. Girls were jealous. I used Clean n Clear all those years, and it worked wonders. But then I made the mistake of trying a different acne wash for my face, to try to get rid of my blackheads. Then acne appeared, and I made the mistake of popping one, and it scarred for months. I continued using that different acne wash because it promised to get rid of acne scars, but it just gave me more acne, and the acne scar was still there. So I went to the dermatologist. I was an idiot and freaked out when the medication made me break out, even though the dermatologist already told me that it'd get worse before getting better. I stopped the medication after three weeks and went back to Clean n Clear for a week. Didn't work. Then I switched to another dermatologist, the one that cured my brother of his acne in a matter of one month. And here I am, with the medication causing tiny red bumps ALL OVER MY CHEEKS, even on the places where it'd been clear. I also have rather big brown-ish acne scars, and some more acne appearing. My right cheek is a lot worse than my left. Left cheek used to be almost clear (only a couple acne) before dermatologist came in. Now my left cheek is all covered. My chin is beginning to get affected, already two places scarred (though they're small but noticable). It's been five months now of acne destroying my life. On the fifth month, my skin is at its most terrible condition. How acne affected my life I'm not over-stating it when I say that it completely changed my life and flipped everything upside down. Before, when I used to have clear skin, I used to whine about the smallest of things, get ticked off easily, let the smallest of problems get to me, but now...when I'm dealing with THIS problem of acne, I feel like those problems are NOTHING. I swear to God, if my acne and scars are gone and my face is clear like before, I will never complain about a single thing ever again. I'd live life to the fullest. All I want is this clear skin. If a genie were to pop out of a lamp and ask me what I wanted for myself, I'd say, without any hesitation and no need to think, "CLEAR SKIN." Selfish? Probably. But when my face used to be clear, I loved to help people. So much. When someone needed my help, I'd jump in and help them. But now, I'm afraid. I'm embarassed. With this face, I'm afraid of approaching people. I'm trying my best to screw the acne and help people anyway, but I feel that I'd be more helpful if I just got rid of this stupid acne. I hate myself because of this. If I added up the days that I pretended to be sick from school because I was embarassed of my acne, the days would sum up to at least two weeks. I skipped two meetings with friends that I was sure would of been the time of my life--if only my acne was gone. I can't watch tv shows or movies the same way again. I keep comparing my skin to the actor's flawless ones. And to think that I used to feel uncomfortable whenever seeing an actor with one tiny pimple on their face! Now I just feel thankful and tell myself that they're also human. I can't listen to a love song or story and watch romance stories the same way again, because I feel that I can never experience the same thing if I have this terrible acne. I look at strangers on the streets and compare their skin to mine, feeling good whenever I see skin that's worse than mine. Hating those with clear skin, even though I know that it was not right for me to feel that way. I feel terrible when I do this but I can't help it. I hate myself for it. I look at classmates more intently now, stare at their skin when they're not looking.... I USED TO NEVER NOTICE PEOPLE'S ACNE THIS MUCH, OR EVER GAVE MUCH THOUGHT TO THEM WHEN MY SKIN WAS CLEAR. So it's true. People who never or barely had acne DO NOT NOTICE OTHER PEOPLE'S ACNE AT ALL, OR BARELY NOTICE. AND IF THEY NOTICE, THEY SHRUG IT OFF AND DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. THEY DON'T MIND IT. I feel that my dreams are beginning to become pointless. I want to be a film director. I want to be a voice actress. I want to be a novelist. I want to be a comic artist. I actually thought of being an actress one day but no way---not anymore. Not with this face. I want to work for my favorite film directors. But I feel that I can't. I can't even go anywhere without hating myself. Without hating my face. Without feeling like I'm nothing and feeling ugly compared to other people. And I feel sorry for the people who has to look at my disgusting face. How can I fulfill my dreams with no confidence? I don't want cameras to capture my acne. I used to like getting my picture taken (I wasn't the type of person to take thousands of pictures of themselves tho). Now, for five months, I avoid all cameras unless the picture is taken from a distance or with a low quality camera, where my acne won't be noticed. Am I depressed? Yes. Am I suicidal because of my acne? Perhaps. Maybe. I have been suicidal before when my skin was clear, because I had no friends and felt that nobody understood me, but I got over it. I was happy. Now I feel that I will never EVER feel suicidal again if my acne is gone. Now I feel that if I were to drop dead, to have a building crash onto me and only me, I'd be ok with it. School days feel so long now. I always can't wait to go home and hide and not have people look at me. Just as I'm typing this, I'm listening loudly to music with the topic "hating myself". It makes me feel better. I know, I'm so messed up right now. Now the question I want to believe that I can live with my acne, but another part tells me the opposite and sends me to tears. HOW DO I BATTLE THIS? During the 5 months when acne hit me bad, I had good days. I had days when I just forgot about my acne, said to myself "Screw acne, I wanna live my life" and then live my life. Go to school, laugh with friends, do my homework and tests, and have fun, and just enjoy life. When I can't forget about my acne, I keep telling myself "it's ok. It's not actually that bad. I keep blowing it up to proportions. People don't actually mind that much, and maybe they don't even notice it" and I can enjoy life and the blissfullness of it, although that feeling of depression will nag at me once in a while. Besides from these moments, other things have kept me happy. Music. Art. Movies and TV shows (though it hurts when I see those clear faces). Reading, writing. And comedy videos. But the moments when I can reassure myself that my acne is no prob is what really keeps me strong. Now. These momenst are ruined when three things happen. The third is the question of this topic. One: When someone mentions to me how terrible my acne is. OUCH. It just HURTS. A slap to the face. Geez. My ex-boyfriend went up to me one day and said "Whoa, you have acne now! You look ugly now!" WHAT THE---SERIOUSLY? A friend told me "Oh look, that burger has bumps on it. Pimples. Just like you." OUCH--- A baby sitter at the school, a dear friend of mine, said, "Ooooh look you've got acne now! What happened?" with a teasing smile on her face. I THOUGHT GROWN UPS WOULD BE MORE SENSITIVE TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. A senior at school, "Pimples on your face. You didn't wash your face, huh?" I WASH MY FACE EVERY DAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. An old friend who I didn't meet in some time. "Why do you have so many pimples now?!" Right on front of so many people. DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS. And then I'm reminded, oh. So my pimples ARE noticable. And it bothers people. Ugh. I'm trash. I'm crap. Now what? Note: I don't know the difference with pimples and acne D: Two: When I'm in a bright room, where no darkness can hide my acne. It also hurts when I see myself in the mirror while the lighting of the room is good. My acne looks noticable but doesn't look bad in a dark room. Some of the acne looks like it's not even there. But in the light...IT IS TERRIBLE. IT IS DISGUSTING. I HATE IT. Just yesterday, I went to a restaurant where it was very bright and had MIRRORS ON EVERY WALL. I saw myself in the reflection and wanted to hide. My mom was looking at my acne-infested cheeks as she talked to me, and not looking at my eyes. I wanted to cry. But well. It's not like I spend all of my time in the sun. I should be ok at some dark places. I wanna be happy. I wanna enjoy life. THREE: When it's myself that tells me that I CAN'T live my life with acne. I want to hang out with my friends and family. I want to follow my dreams. I want to love living. I don't want to be depressed. I don't want to be suicidal. I know two girls at my school who has about the worst case of acne in the school (for the girls, that is), yet they are one of the most popular too. And they look happy, no matter the condition of their skin. (Although one of them would show signs of sadness of her acne, but it's for only a brief moment.) I want to be like them. Then thoughts would appear in my mind. "You're ugly with those acne." "Don't you feel sorry for people who had to look at your disgusting face? They'll have the image in their heads, scarred for life." "People are embarassed to be seen with you." "Everyone's skin is clear. Yours is not. You're ugly." I WANT TO ENJOY LIFE. But how can I when I'm hurting myself mentally? (and physically, sometimes). This medication from the dermatologist, I'm praying will work. It's gotten worse, but I have hopes that it'll be better. I'm giving it four months. If nothing gets better, then I dunno what I'd do. But in the meantime, while I wait for the medication to help, how do I tell myself that it's not that bad? How do I live with myself? How do I defeat that part of me that tells myself that I'm ugly and disgusting? I know that even if my acne is gone, there'll still be scars. But I'm ok with the scars as long as I don't have the terrible face that I have now. Sigh. Well, I feel better now that I typed up this long shizz of my heart's contents. and now.... How I would actually be thankful to have acne I...I would actually be thankful to have acne. Because I learned so many things from it. I would complain less about things. I'd smile all the time, because I went through a lot. Things won't bother me like they did before. My health will be better, cuz I drink more and eat more fruits and vegetables. I exercise more now. I'm more thankful of things now. I won't ever be suicidal and won't be depressed as often as before. I'd actually be thankful to have acne. But only if I've already gotten rid of the acne and restored my clear face, that is. :') I know, people have it worse than me. At least I'm not blind. At least I have both arms and legs. But still...Come on. I'm sorry. I really know how terrible I sound but I just can't help it. I can't help feel the way I feel I hate myself for it. So much. Sigh. Acne, go away please. And now...for you all I pray that everyone with skin not to their liking can find happiness, and have clear skin one day, or whatever they wish for that's positive
  16. Genetic Acne - My story

    Hello there acne.org This is my first time speaking out (or should you say writing out?) about my acne on any social forums or websites. Perhaps this is the first time I will be speaking out honestly about my situation and truly open up regarding what has been haunting me since as long as I can remember, in hopes that it might shed clearness to anyone who doesn't know what acne does to a person or to find solitude and strength in others of similar situation. Acne. That thing I have genetically programmed in my DNA since the moment of my conception. Something that is more a part of me than my fashion style, my sense of humor or my poor taste in wine. Perhaps I should be used to it by now, or have learned to accept it and grow strong. Unfortunately that is not the case. If anything, I hate it more than ever and dream of a time where my skin might be torn and broken at the age of 45 but at least I won't need to see those horrible red bumps and fat pimples on my face no more. My acne started somewhere at the age of 13. We all knew what was coming, except for me perhaps since I was a blissful young child with no worries about my looks or my face. It started gradually, I hardly even noticed it the first year but my mother had a keen eye and hoped that somehow we might prevent it if we started treating it early. You know, as with most diseases? I went to the doctors soon after and was given Basiron 5%. I have to say honestly I have very little recollection of the quality of my skin at that time or how badly my breakouts were. I was blissfully unaware of them, but what I do remember is my mother rubbing in Basiorn every night on my back and my face for a year or perhaps two. After that we continued to visit the doctor, this time I was given Basiron 10% which I used every night for maybe another 2-3 years. It was at this time I started taking a notice to my skin. I covered it up with makeup (as badly as any 14 year old could) and mostly pretended I didn't have any. What has come to my attention in later years is how my mother never tried to stop me from using makeup, even at such a young age. This since I have a half-sister turning the same age soon and my mother is strict with her not wearing any makeup at all, although she does not have the genetic acne of my father so I guess she really doesn't need it. Anyhow, acne didn't bother me that much as a youngling. A lot of young teenagers have acne and at that time I had only mild to moderate acne (although persistent!) at worst. It was when I started Senior/Upper high school (Gymnasium) that my acne became worse and especially my scaring. I have a lot of melanin, being half Persian with dark hair and dark eyes, making my skin tan very easily but also get scarring and deep brown marks without any effort. At this point I was started to get really troubled by it since you wanted to look good in school, get a boyfriend and do all that sort of teenage stuff. Something that I realized was waaaaay much harder for someone with moderate/severe acne. I went to my doctor again, and got Tetralysal for a month which cleared my skin like nothing else and then I was to continue with Dalacin. The latter did not help at all. My acne continued as persistent as ever making me feel extremely insecure about myself and my looks. I would never leave the house without full coverage of my skin and I became depressed. At age of 17-18 I was barely in school and my grades took a heavy hit, as well as my entire social life and my self-esteem. I was at such a low point of my life; the best days were when I was emotionless just playing videogames or watching series. The worst days I would be lying in bed, reading depressing books and crying into my pillow hoping no one would take a notice. I was at a low but thinking towards the end of my graduation that soon this would be over. My doctor had many times pointed out that it did not have to be genetic acne, it could be hormonal and could disappear after my 18s. Oboy I wish that had been the case. After my graduation I met a guy who was all the things I wanted in a man. He was funny, intellectual, kind and a gamer. Best part was that he barely took notice of my skin even though I still felt horrible about it. As we got together I started using birth control pills. I had heard it could help with acne and it was pretty good all around. It honestly improved my acne a bit; those tiny white heads mostly disappeared. But those inflamed/sore big pimples that you mostly can't pop still persisted, especially around my cheek areas and chin. 2-3 months before I turned 19 my dad asked if I wanted to go and see a doctor for my skin. My parents had long gone stopped asking about my skin and mostly pretended like it didn’t exist. This is something that I found, still find, annoying. Yes I know I’ve had this for a long time. Yes I know it probably won’t go away for another 15 years. Yes I know I only have one life and I should live it to the fullest. But it does not help that my parents kind of ignore it and don’t at least ask me about it or how I feel. Still tho, I was feeling so miserable and had almost given up hopes of curing my acne. I wasn’t 18 anymore dear doctor of mine. Yet my skin showed no sign of improving. So after the kind attention of my dad I went with him to a new doctor. I will always remember what she said. I used to ask my previous doctor to prescribe me Isotreotin (aka Accutane), as I had noticed Tetralysal (also antibiotics) had worked wonders on my skin and I was ready to really clear my skin. I was already at such a low point, what else could I be waiting for? As I met my new doctor, the first thing she pointed out after examining my face was that the only thing that would help was Isotreotin. Oboy oboy oboy. I was so excited. Delighted! Finally someone who listened to me! Maybe it was because I went with my dad, whose obvious torn and scarred skin even at his 50s is a strong reminder of his dealings with acne and proved that I indeed have genetic acne from my father side. So I tested my body to see if I was fit for Isotreotin. Meanwhile I was given Differin and Skinoren, two other medications that haven’t had any effect on my skin. I used them for 2-3 months before I was allowed to go on Isotreotin. I don’t even know what to say. I guess my skin need antibiotics? I guess it needs really heavy medication to work? I had no side effects whatsoever. My skin glowed when I used Isotreotin. Immediately my acne stopped, and started the healing process of my skin. I have never been happier in my life. My skin was a bit dryer than usual but oh hell yes I will trade that any day. My marks started to heal and disappear and most of my scars. I had a wonderful time until the bad news came. It was a week before Christmas and I was visiting my boyfriend and his family on the other side of the country. I got a call from my doctor saying to stop taking my medication at once; some of my blood results have been looking bad. This was 1 & ½ months after I had started eating the pills. After the holidays she explained that my liver couldn’t take the medication. My results varied extremely to the point where it could go 3x over the maximum limit or go twice below the normal. She told me that we were going to stop this at once and advised me to never use this medication again. I cried on my way home on the subway. I knew what was going to happen. As she kindly pointed out, my acne was gonna return. I was given Differin once again although I stopped using it after a month since it did nothing for the small pimples on my forehead and otherwise my skin was completely clear. It was normal. I loved it. I almost forgot about not taking any medication again and went on for a year without any trouble whatsoever. I think I made the mistake to convince myself that it wouldn’t return. Everything was going so well. And that’s when it hit me. Exactly a year later I started breaking out more and more. I used Basiron 5% again but after a couple of months I noticed clear signs that it was still getting worse and I had no way to stop it. I decided to try skin peeling with AHA acid. I went to one of the best clinics in town, they decided on which I should try out (a moderate skin peel since I hadn’t used it before) and I paid an extreme amount of money to do this twice. I never did it again, cus it didn’t show any signs of improving. Instead my skin was breaking out more specially around my forehead. So I went back to Basiron 5% and here I am; sitting inside during summer, being depressed again and single since almost a year back. I had a breakdown a month ago when I went to Paris with my mom and stepdad (I know what a dream holiday?). I couldn’t enjoy it one bit. My skin was worse than it had been for over 5 years. I had gigantic deep growing inflamed pimples all over my cheeks and chin. My face was red and I couldn’t bear to look people in the eye. I didn’t even bother putting on makeup and as we were walking outside, enjoying the river I just broke down crying in the middle of the street. I couldn’t bear it anymore. I don’t even remember why, my mother had asked my something about my dating life and why I was looking so depressed. She probably thought I was going to commit suicide right then and there. After that my mother has been very attentive to me and asks me weekly how I feel. It feels nice to have someone to talk to but I have to confess she does not know what it is like. She never had pimples or acne. She was a beautiful young woman with guys swarming around her feet. I look like I have been stung by 5 bees. I know. Why do I feel so bad? I have everything in the world. I live in a great, civilized country free of war and racism and whatnot. I was born to a well-educated middle class/upper middleclass family with various culture and ethnic backgrounds. I have never in my life been treated wrongly. I wasn’t bullied for my acne, no. I had a lot of friend growing up and I still have a great deal of good friends. I have never been treated differently. I have an amazing caring bear mother, 2 great fathers (my biological and my stepdad), an older brother and a younger sister. I have never had cystic acne. I have no allergies or diseases. There is nothing wrong in my life except my acne. So why should I be bothered by it? The answer is I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it. It hurts to wake up and instead of treasuring a wonderful life I constantly think about what my skin looks like, if it’s a bad or a good day. If I’m going to be strong enough to walk out of the house today, or if I need to skip class in University because I can’t make myself look in the mirror. I have to pay extra attention on how I dress myself since I can’t show any part of my back. That would probably disgust people. This is especially hard during the summer when all you want to do Is walk around In nice tops and bikinis. I have been watching all kinds of videos, listened to all kinds of people and I WISH I was strong enough to just not care. To just think that it is a minor flaw on my face and ignore it. Oh god I wish for the day when I can’t be bothered anymore. But today is not that day. In a sense I have given up hope to find anything to cure me of my acne. I still have my usual skincare routine and I use Basiron 5%. But I can’t be bothered to go to the doctors. Why? So they can give me something I know won’t work. Cus the only thing that works, I can’t eat? Isn’t that ironic. There is one thing that can cure severe acne. But I can’t have it. I was blessed with acne and a weak liver. If you are still reading this, I must confess I am surprised you stuck out with me for so long. This text turned much longer than I thought. But I need to beg you of one last thing. Don’t try and give me advice on how to treat my skin. I know people do it out of kindness. They honestly want to help. But for someone who has tried EVERYTHING, for someone who knows their skin inside out, it is not helpful in anyway. Yes I tried eating no dairy products. Yes I tried different medication. Yes I tried no medications at all. Yes I use moisturizer and a special soap from the drugstore that my doctor told me of. Yes I don’t eat sweets/chips/chocolate/ice-cream/nuts. Yes I eat healthy and I use sunscreen EVERYDAY. Yes I clean my makeup brush. Yes I always wash my hands before touching/applying anything to my face. Yes I am very strict with my skincare routine. I think a lot of people with acne can sympathize with this. We are not unclean people who never wash our faces. In fact we are probably the cleanest people you will ever meet. So this is me dear acne.org. I have lived with acne for almost 10 years, both on my face and my back. I am still young, although my brother who had worse acne than me still gets a good amount of breakouts especially on his back. And he is 32 soon. I should be used to acne, I have lived with it most of my life, but I tell you it never gets any easier. Not for me at least. Maybe it’s because I saw how it could be without acne. Having an entire year with no troubles. Oboy.. I know it’s not gonna disappear in the near 3-4 years. I know I’m gonna continue to feel awful and try and fight through this depression. Maybe I should open up to my friends a bit more. I have to confess it feels better to have explained it all, it does ease the pain if just for a bit. Maybe some of you feel the same way? Well this is me, signing out for now. Regards, Just another victim of genetic acne
  17. hello there... to be frank, im tired. im 23, asian (male), brown skinned (lighter than most since i hate sunlight). i have pimples. mostly its closed comedones but with inflamed ones sometimes. theyre mostly at my cheeks and lower jaw- more so at my left side of face, none at all at forehead. i started getting them ever since i was 17. i recall i used kojic soap at first, and for a miracle- it cleared me out. but it stopped working 4 years later and no products ever worked ever since. i tried tetrinoin+ hydroquinone (maxipeel)- didnt work, other kojic soaps )didnt work), orange soap (failed), some facial wash with bha, acv toner... everything i can afford. none ever worked. few just "normalaized" my skin (with jsut comedones only). i stopped buying clothes and other things except acne products. im really frustrated to tears. when i look at a mirror especially if its natural light, id see the bumps and i fee... its jsut sad im thinking of clawing these f*cks away from my face. i tried knowing my skin type, sometimes its oily but sometimes i think its combination (since its only at the cheeks MOSTLY), its frustrating not knowing and maybe this is the reason. i cut sugar and dairy as well in the past, didnt work., i never told people who know me, because theyd just laugh and not get it. i dont get why am i frustrated? im not attractive with my facial structure- i have an overbite, flat nose etc (much less the acne). why do i even try? but im tired. theyll never be cured. derma is too expensive. good god, when i talk to people i get paranoid. now im washing with a mild face wash, acv toner, aloe vera as moisturizer... < that regimen is "fine"= meaning i still have closed comedones and ones a week two inflamed pimples. lately i feel like shit because i added that st ives green tea scrub because i thought i must need exfoliation because of the inflamed pimples.- fuck my life.
  18. Hi all, I've spent the past few months reading through various posts on here and finally decided to make a post of my own reaching out. I've had moderate cystic acne since I turned 21 (24 now), and have had a hell of a time dealing with it. Recently I started a new skin care line that seems to be helping prevent new breakouts (great!) but I still suffer from old cysts that never healed around my chin and horrible red scars all over my face from my awful habit of picking. I've become so terribly self conscious of what I look like bare skinned, that I literally have panic attacks when I have to take my makeup off at night, or when I first see myself exiting the shower in the mornings. I have a history of anxiety and depression and take medication for both. It has recently gotten so bad, I refuse to spend the night with my boyfriend because I am so embarrassed about how I look without makeup on (and I dare sleep with it on and cause more breakouts!) I truly feel it is starting to affect my relationship because he has very nice skin and is quite a bit older than me, and has never had a problem with acne before; so he readily admits he doesn't understand why I get so worked up about it. I just want to feel beautiful still when I wash off my "mask" off at the end of the day, but it is so very hard when seeing myself brings me to tears and I truly am disgusted by this reflection in the mirror. Any advice or similar stories I would really appreciate.
  19. Hi everyone!! I've been taking doxycycline and epiduo for almost a month now : doxy twice a day for the first two weeks ( jan 3rd first day), followed by every morning since then. I have suffered depression and anxiety in the past ...growing up, and sometimes it creeps up on me. But I've been really feeling it for the past month. It just occurred to me that maybe the doxycycline is the cause. I'm not sure though because of my previous experience - I'm prone to it creeping up when I feel like I'm not moving ahead enough. Although, I have only been having these thoughts of not being good enough, lack of motivation, fatigue, trouble concentrating etc since the Doxy. So I'm hoping it's just that. I have one month left on it but I don't want to stop for any experiment to see if I feel better so I'm hoping to just wait it out .. I did some Google searching and it seems like other people have experienced at this as well, just looking for other experiences? Has anyone else experienced any kind of motivation, depression, etc. on doxycycline???
  20. Hi people of the internet, my name is Ryan, I am an 18 year old male from the United Kingdom, and I have been on accutane approximately a week. I am writing this because I want to talk directly to those who suffer from stubborn and persistent acne that most people would define as 'mild', and unworthy of accutane. Here's some back story. I first started getting acne when I was 10 - annoyingly young but hey life has a habit of being a bitch like that. I started with just forehead acne, I'd never have less than 3 cystic/boil like whiteheads (incredibly sore and left marks for about a century). My simple solution to this was to grow my hair and pretend they didn't exist. This was fine until I was about 14 when they decided to plague my cheeks too. They were sore, unsightly and honestly disgusting. I have an incredibly pale complexion too, so they stood out like a sore thumb. I've also suffered from bacne, or more specifically shoulder-acne for as long as I can remember - no sore cysts but persistent whiteheads that scar. When I was 16, I had to start shaving - another recipe for disaster. My skin is incredibly sensitive, and it took me about a year to find a product and razor that firstly didn't cause my skin to go red raw, but also prevent me from getting bumpy whiteheads all over my jawline. (If I shave more than 3 times a week now, I still get this issue.) So, whilst my acne has never been considered severe, it's always been enough to be an emotional and mental challenge for me, and it's always dented my self esteem and when it gets bad I could end up in the house for weeks on end. Honestly, it was the catalyst for my fight with depression - when you don't have the self confidence to go out and tackle the world, everything else just falls around it. Therefore, what did I do? I fought - for years. I went to the doctor the first time when I was about 14. I knew of Accutane at this time but this site always made me feel embarrassed to ask since by acne was never as bad as half the photos on this site. My doctor said something along the lines of you have okay skin but I can see your concern, and for the next year I went backwards and forwards to him, being prescribed different topical treatments. None of these worked, all of them destroyed my skin – I’m going to document everything I’ve tried over the years below to give some advice for others. A year later he finally gave up on the creams and prescribed me lymecycline, followed by doxycycline – both of which I can confidently say did absolutely nothing other than reduce the time my spots stayed red raw (nice, but it only lasted while I was on the pills). By this time I was about 16 and going through my GCSE’s so my skin wasn’t at the forefront of my mind. Just before my 17th birthday and starting sixth form something clicked in my head and I suddenly started seriously judging myself and hating myself and the way I looked – couple this with starting sixth form, accepting my sexuality, being bullied at school for it, and my first relationship with another male that turned into a year of verbal abuse from his homophobic parents, I spiralled into depression, quit my job, dropped out of school and did not leave my house for more than an hour, or any forced appointments at the mental health clinic from September 2015 until February this year. I twice attempted to take my life – my parents refused to believe it was my acne that stopped me from going out and fixing my life and always blamed my relationship that had emotionally scarred me – and yes it had, but it had also heightened my self-anxiety and every time I looked in the mirror I would give up on any hope and collapse back in bed. Okay so obviously I’m missing out a lot of big details here but that is the basics, I was suicidal, I felt like nobody cared about what I cared about, and I never left my house. Before September 2015 I also visited a skin specialist at my local GP (she is a dermo on the NHS) – she told me my skin was fine ‘for a teenager’ and that I should never touch Accutane – she sent me away with another cream. I turned 18 and the new year came and went and nothing changed, I stayed in bed, I tormented my skin with all sorts of home remedies I read on the internet and nothing ever got better. I had however, booked to see a private dermatologist in February with the remaining money I had from my old job with one last ditch hope that I’d get some real help. Finally, after 8 years, I heard somebody tell me what I wanted to hear, that my acne was stubborn and appeared sore, uncomfortable and was more than just teenage spots. She comforted me, examined me, talked me through all the options. Much to my disappointment, she said she couldn’t prescribe me Accutane for at least 2 years because of my mental health history, and current state, because she would be liable if anything happened to me. I reluctantly accepted this, but it sent me off with a new lease of determination. She prescribed me trimethroprim (also known as bactrim) - it’s probably given me the best results to date and whilst I saw no change to my back, my cheeks cleared up and I only got small whiteheads (my forehead still always had at least one giant beast of a cyst). I would still breakout but they were nowhere near as harsh. My skin also had a relatively nice complexion too, as she told me to just avoid all skin products except a cleanser which she prescribed, and the antibiotic. Fast forward to November and I have been prescribed Accutane. I walked away from that first appointment with my dermatologist and started attending mental health sessions, I started taking my meds and I re-enrolled in my A-Levels. I taught myself a year and a half of college in 4 from home in four months and walked out with A-A-B. I got a full time job in Waitrose and I am now in training to be a team leader. I re-entered the world, I sorted my life out and I got the all clear from my mental health doctor to go on Accutane. I took this letter to my dermatologist last week and after what feels like 6 years of waiting to be taken seriously, I was finally prescribed the drug. I want people to know, in the same situation as me, there is NEVER a situation when your acne isn’t ‘that bad’. If it’s bad to you, that’s all that matters, don’t listen to what other people say. If it affects you, mentally or emotionally, that’s enough to want to get a fix. Sometimes you have to pay good money to get somebody to listen, and sometimes you have to take things into your own hands, but never think you aren’t a good enough candidate for something that could change your life. And yes – acne can cause depression, no matter how many times people tell you it can’t or how there must be ‘other underlining factors’ – only you know what is affecting you the most. Most of all, don’t tell yourself ‘others have it worse’, if you have that attitude you’ll never be happy because there are always going to be other people in the world who are worse off than you. You should always prioritise your own happiness in life. So – that’s my back story. So far I’ve been on Accutane about a week and I have very dry lips. My skin itself isn’t dry, but that’s probably because my skin was very oily to start with. I haven’t experienced a purge yet, but that may be because I stopped trimethroprim the day I started Accutane. I have however experienced a couple of cysty spots on my cheek that I haven’t had since I started trime. In all honestly, my skins kinda soft, but I don’t know if that’s just coincidence. No change on my back/forehead so far, nor the blackheads on my nosee. I’ll keep updating bi-weekly and we’ll see how my Accutane journey goes! Finally, if there’s anyone out there that feels they can relate to what I have gone through, or suffers from acne induced depression, or anyone that just wants a chat – feel free to message me on here! TLDR; Hi, I'm Ryan, I'm 18 and from the UK, and I have suffered from mild acne since I was 10 years old. I started Accutane a week ago and this is my log. Random things I have tried: Tea Tree Oil - Burned my skin Panoxyl gel - Good for drying up spots, but bleaches skin, clothes and leaves marks Quinoderm - Same as above Some retinoid cream for the back can;t remember the same - useless, did nothing Freederm exfoliator - good, makes skin feel soft Cetafil cleanser - Great! I swear by this product, so good for sensitive skin (prescribed by my demro) Cetafil moisturiser - Wasn't for me, too greasy and made me break out Manuka honey - broke me out hugely, but I used it on big swolen spots and it seems to help reduce them in size quicker Freederm gel - helps prevent big spots spread to other areas of face Proactiv - AVOID AVOID AVOID, this stuff is so expensive and it decoloured, dried out and did nothing of any use to my skin toothpaste - don't use toothpaste unless you want red marks on your face for weeks Aveeno cream - great for dry skin zipmist - great for shaving if you have sensitive skin lush mask of magnaminty - really good, makes skin look fresh and feels great, reduces redness too (dont use too frequently) I'll add others as they come to mind.
  21. Itchiness is killing me

    Hi all, 1. I have been on and off the regimen for the past month. I'll begin with admitting that it has somewhat cleared my skin, but there are a few breakouts every now and then. However, these breakouts are not the problem. The problem is that my face is really dry, red, and itchy as hell. A little bit of dry- and redness I can handle, though. It's the damn itch that I cannot stand; it results in me not getting enough sleep. This, in turn, is making me depressed and I constantly feel exhausted from the lack of rest (obviously). I've read that the benzoyl peroxide is the culprit for itchiness for many other people on the regimen, and currently I'm only using it once per day or every other day. But that seemingly isn't helping with my itching face. What am I doing wrong? 2. I'm still kind of hopeful for the regimen to work even though I'm not following it exactly as instructed (two times per day, 10-12 hours apart yada yada), but it's really wearing me out. How do you guys endure? Really thankful for any advice provided!
  22. Hello Friends,I am one of those people who takes lot of stress. Stress can be due to anything:1) Personal life issues2) Professional issuesLet me tell you What i am. I am normal person but acne made me hide myself from whole community. I was so horrified that i do not used to go out for weeks fearing how people will react people seeing me I did not saw mirror for 1 year+. My face always used to be down and i used to cap to hide anything i can.My family supported me a lot and prompted me to go out..I was skeptical about going to School or Colleges as this is place where i fear being commented about my acne.I was not able to focus. I was not able to study. My family took me to psychiatrist. He did nothing but to relax me by just sleeping, sleeping and sleeping..Those were anti depressants medicine. My academic had took a beating as i was hardly doing my part of work. Even for this i came to know website myhomeworkhelp.com which helps in academic help. I just wanted someone to guide me through as I am not good in studies.I tried to take help from them. Not only they helped me in my academics, they have education counsellor who helped me immensely. That counselling assured that my academics are in good hands and i can just focus on myself. They infused confidence in me.I am sure all of those who had severe acne can understand this..I am posting 1 photo which will make you realize what i am talking about.Sometimes i felt why me ? Sometimes i felt this is not life but prison but I want to help people around me who asked me to wait and cherish lifeMain thing during acne breakout is that you do not take stress. Its easy said then done but that website did took my academic burden and give my mind whole lot of peaceThis photo is 50 times better ...as compared to what my situation was..you can imagine..I will keep you updated. If you want to ask anything, feel freePS: Just do not take stress...
  23. Hi all, I'm currently on a possible 6 month prescription of Isotretinoin to cure my cystic acne. All Be it, my skin wasn't terrible but it wasn't good - I just constantly got cyst like type randomly. i started off my first month at 10mg as test due to a side effect being seizures, I used to take these as a kid. I'm now 6 weeks into 40mg dosage, which is currently for 2 months so not long left then bloods again - however I'm really starting to notice being so tired waking up, sore heads recently and unfortunately as I write this .. which is why i came here.. depression. I really feel down about everything, feelings slightly worthless but I don't get these often, I usually just suffer from the tiredness/soreness & dryness. Does anyone have any remedies to the depression or to help? I'm 22, male. i have to admit, the 10/11 weeks of the course so far have done wonders for my skin. Thanks, James
  24. Links to some recently unpinned threads Add your story! ---------------------------- First: Don't Panic It's not as difficult as it looks. Everything is inter-related and the same basic diet and lifestyle habits are repeated over and over. Because they are good for everything and how humans should eat and live. So, take a deep breath... and read: Good things for Acne (For when you only have time for the answers, but with links to more info. And see also this thread for more details on the Ultimate Question on Acne, Diet, Health and Everything!, a collection of links to numerous of the most valuable discussion threads ever. Including the best of SweetJade, the fairy Godmother of this forum. Click on it!) Covering all these interrelated things: -Stable Blood Sugar/Insulin/good Glucose Metabolism (no link because it's below in this post) -Anti-Inflammatory diet and lifestyle -Hormone Balance -Healthy Liver Function -Healthy Adrenal Function -Good, Complete Digestion/Healthy Digestive Tract -Allergies and food intolerances -Reducing Hyperkeratinization/Hyperproliferation - Stage 1 in the formation of acne. -Good Sleep/Light exposure/Circadian cycle. -Nutrition -Hyper/Hypothyroid - lowers SHBG levels, increases inflammation -Stress -Immune system -Topical treatment - care from the outside. -Exercise - The right kind. Affects nearly everything, like blood sugar, sleep, stress, mood... -Body Fat - affects inflammation and hormone levels -Brain health, Stress, Mood, Willpower, Depression, etc Because your diet can't clear if you stress out over everything. -PCOS -Oily skin, fat metabolism and Sebum quality -Your Health - Numbers to know and monitor, home tests -Anti-Aging - because someone asked and the same diet and lifestyle habits help that too. All this may seem overwhelming, but it's really not. Notice how inter-related most of these things are and how the same nutrients and habits appear over and over because they help so many issues. Also, most things listed here are just plain good for you period. Things everyone should do regardless of acne. Good for whatever ails you. For anti-aging, disease prevention, wellness, happiness... What you want is a healthy lifestyle with natural circadian cycle, stress management, physical activity and a nutrient dense, anti-inflammatory blood sugar stabilizing diet habits that don't include anything you have an intolerance for. More on WHAT TO DO.If you just want to be told what to do, skip to here. Other great threads: -Food and Recipe thread index -Doctors and other experts admitting to the diet and acne connection thread Members who've cleared their skin via diet and lifestyle habits - -Why you should avoid/limit dairy, especially cow, especially unfermented, etc. -Improving fructose metabolism for those that break out from fruit -Diet and health tips and tidbits -Autogenic and Biofeedback for stress, anxiety, emotions -The Necessity And Benefits Of Sulfur -Epigenetics - what you do to yourself affects your genes -Farm subsidy and other bad things they do to our food -'Recent' Advances in Acne Pathogenesis Information -Patent request for an enzyme that works on a gene involved in acne -SHBG - Sex hormone binding globulin -ZAG enzyme which impacts normal formation and exfoliation, possibly inhibited by lectins in grains/seeds Special Posts: Clinical studies on the connection between diet and acne The truth about Calcium and healthy bones- for those afraid to avoid or limit dairy Vitamin D Coconut Oil Omega 3s and our supposed lack of ability to convert ALA from plants to EPA and DHA Will always be in progress. I'm working on it all the time adding good things and links to sources and more info. Refer back when you need reminders of all the factors. I know I need reminders. I'm sure there's plenty I've forgotten in these lists. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good things for Blood Sugar/Insulin/Carb Metabolism Insulin is a master hormone that influences almost all other hormones. Elevated Insulin stimulates Androgen and IGF1 production, while simultaneously inhibiting production of the proteins that bind them--SHBG and IGFBP-3. Androgens stimulate oil production, IGF1 causes hyperkeratinization and hyperproliferation of skin cells. We become somewhat insulin resistant during puberty. It stimulates & helps utilize resources for growth. Elevated Insulin also causes inflammation which worsens acne and scarring. Inflammation is also aging and the root cause of degenerative diseases. Causes loss of elasticity in tissues. In addition, when cells become insulin resistant leaving sugar floating around in the bloodstream, it causes glycation which also reduces elasticity in tissues. Post filled with links to research about insulin resistance, puberty, role in acne, IGF-1, etc: Note: This is not about avoiding carbs or eating low carb!! It's not even about never consuming sugar or having a dessert. It's about habitually avoiding High Glycemic Load meals, drinks. And about the nutrients and habits that improve the body's ability to manage blood sugar and insulin response. Just know that every time you consume more sugar than your cells can take in at that time, damage will occur. Your body can counter damage. Just not at the rate that's become normal in this soda drinking, nutritionally void refined food consuming, chronically stressful, unsleeping, sedentary society we've become. Also, many hormones are involved in blood sugar regulation. Insulin sends blood sugar down and cortisol sends blood sugar up. And cortisol is a major culprit in metabolic syndrome. Part of the reason sleep, stress and physical activity are as big a players in the formation of diabetes and acne and related conditions. Basics: Glycemic Index - is a measure of the effects of a food on blood sugar levels. Glycemic Load - as above but takes into account the amount of food eaten. For example, a small piece of candy can have a lower GL than a bigger amount of a lower GI food. Simple chart of the GI and GL of some common processed and unprocessed foods. http://archderm.ama-...TABLEDOB10212T1 Nutrition Data article on GI and GL and their own Fullness Factor index Insulin Index- A measurement of blood insulin levels in response to various foods. Turns out that certain amino acids also stimulate excess insulin and so even low GI foods can be insulinemic. http://www.marksdailyapple.com/dairy-insulin Dairy is insulinemic, being high in the most insulinemic amino acids: leucine, valine, lysine, and isoleucine. Discussion: http://www.acne.org/...ex-t259695.html and website http://www.mendosa.c...sulin_index.htm So, The Good Things for Blood Sugar/Insulin: Diet habits -Avoiding foods and drinks that spike blood sugar like sugars, refined grains, high GI foods not eaten in combination with low GI foods, - making a high GL meal. -Eating Fats, protein and fiber to lower the GI of a meal, doesn't mean diet needs to be high fat or high protein. And very high fiber might not be good for you either. -Avoiding over eating. High calorie meals can also be high GL meals even when composed of fat and protein. And because cell mitochondria are capable of processing only so much glucose so consuming more than your body can handle will result in excess glucose in the blood stream causing serious health problems. -Resistant Starches -Consuming vinegar before carb meals - acetic acid in vinegar blocks a digestive enzyme as well as improving stomach acid PH. Have a couple spoons of ACV in glass of water or have salad with vinaigrette prior to meal. -Intermittent fasting or calorie restriction - Skip a meal now and then. Or spend a day having minimal calories, now and then. -Eating foods high in the nutrients listed below. Anything that improves circulation, Blood pressure, cholesterol, so: -Exercise!!! - also increases insulin activity in order to provide energy for exercise, especially beneficial is short bursts of very intensive activity like interval training such as walking combined with sprinting, stairs, or hills. Or weight/resistance training. Any short bursts of intense exercise will help blood sugar, so take the stairs!! -Omega 3 EFAs - from fish, krill oil, flax seed, chia -The Omega 6 EFAs: G.L.A and linolenic acid -Anthocyanins - phytonutrients primarily in red and purple fruits and veg, strengthens capillaries. -Capsaicin - from chili peppers -GINKGO BILOBA - for circulation -Ginger - for Blood Pressure -Limiting salt - also for blood pressure -Potassium - blood pressure - balances sodium intake -B3/Niacin/Inositol/Niacinimide - helps improve just about all the bad things in your lipid profile as well as circulation & BP. But high doses can reduce insulin sensitivity and harm the liver. -Chamomile tea - studies show it both improves blood sugar and complications of diabetes as well as being calming to help with stress and sleep. -Curcumin - in the spice Tumeric, so have some curry with plenty of veggies! Or yellow mustard. Nutrients specifically involved with insulin signaling and glucose/fructose metabolism -Chromium - essential for insulin activity -Biotin - works with chromium? -Cinnamon -Fiber - slows metabolism of carbs. If you must cheat, such as to have a slice of birthday cake, you can take a supplement like psylium or Glucomannan -Alpha lipoic acid - Insulin signaler, helps insulin transport glucose into cells -Vanadian - same as above -Magnesium - part of carb metabolism, helps body use carbs for energy, may stimulate release of insulin. Study finding magnesium supplementation reducing insulin resistance. -Vitamin D - It's actually a hormone, not a vitamin. Helps maintain insulin levels. Also helps Blood Pressure, immune system... -Zinc - involved in insulin storage and release -CoEnzyme Q10 - carb metabolism -B3/Niacin/Inositol/Niacinimide - also involved in the activity of in enzymes that transport and break down fats, proteins, carbohydrates. Has been shown to improve blood sugar, androgen levels, hirsutism and acne in women with PCOS . But high doses can reduce insulin sensitivity and harm the liver. -See also d-chiro-inositol from buckwheat and d-pinitol from Carob -Taurine -Thread also has a lot of info on fructose malabsorption. -Melatonin -Sulforaphane- sulfur compound in Brassica veggies like broccoli, cabbage, watercress.... -Resveraterol - especially beneficial for insulin signaling in the brain. (yes the brain makes it's own insulin.) Other nutrients that have been shown via studies to play a role in lowering blood sugar/things people with insulin resistance/diabetes tend to be deficient (although we all tend to be deficient)/Things that supplementation has tended to lead to improve insulin resistance for whatever reason: -Vitamin E -NAC - shown to increase insulin sensitivity and lower androgen levels in women with PCOS. - Inositol part of the B vitamin group, comes in many forms d-chiro-inositol -abundant in buckwheat and Myo-inositol also high in seeds have both been studied and found beneficial to insulin sensitivity/carb metabolism and sufferers of hormone disorders such as PCOS. They have have insulin-sensitizing capabilities. Myo-inositol is integral to properly functioning insulin-receptors and has also been linked to the activation of serotonin. Myo-inositol is a component of the phytic acid found in seeds. -Salt -polysaccharides in Tea- and there's more in black tea than in green, white or oolong And lots of things that help deal with damage from and/or degree of poor glucose metabolism like C, B vitamins, E, zinc, CoEnzyme Q10. All kinds of antioxidants. Other habits/issues: -Sleep/Circadian Rhythm- You need bright light exposure in the daytime and darkness at night and regular sleep. Affects melatonin/seratonin, insulin sensitivity, carb metabolism/insulin sensitivity, hormone production and release, stress, digestion. Researchers have begun to believe sleep plays just as big a role in the development of diabetes as obesity and exercise. -A healthy liver - part of sugar metabolism, especially regarding fructose. -Healthy Adrenal function - for proper cortisol levels, which is involved in glucose metabolism. Adrenals also involved in hormone production. -Low body fat - visceral fat(around your middle) secretes hormones that impair insulin sensitivity. -Muscle mass improves insulin sensitivity. -No smoking - Smoking reduces insulin sensitivity. Also, some people may suffer from Fructose Malabsorption or even be fructose intolerant and may need to take steps to improve fructose malabsorption or avoid fructose. See also Good Things for Liver, Sleep/Circadian Rhythm - adequate bright light exposure in daytime affects carb metabolism. Fructose is best absorbed when in equal amounts of glucose. See this Chart of fruits and the amounts of each type of sugar to help you avoid those fruits with excess fructose. And There's evidence that Saturated fat lowers insulin sensitivity and low fat diets have been found to improve diabetes. And this was posted by a member here, but I don't yet have any additional source: Also, see this list for reasons besides acne that you should try to keep blood sugar stable: 146 reasons why sugar is destroying your health. Except that it's not just actual sugar, but refined carbs easily turned into sugar by your body, and any high glycemic or insulinemic meal.
  25. I have had acne on and off for years - starting from when I was 13 to now, when I am 18. The most severe acne that I've had has only been in the last two years, and only on two occasions - both after increased use of makeup(but somehow, I only break out on one cheek). Now, the problem is that I am still suffering from the after-effects of severe acne - dark spots and acne scars! My cheek is completely covered with redness and spots and I am so embarrassed to be seen with the blemishes. Since makeup seems to break me out, I have gone completely make up free for more than a month and my skin seems to be healing. But without makeup, my blemishes are open for the world to see. It makes me feel so disgusting. With my face bare like this, my self-esteem is at an all time low and the last thing I want is human interaction. I have cut off all my friends and rebuffed all their attempts to see me, because I know that if I do go out, I won't be able to stop myself from wearing makeup in order to feel tolerably presentable. And that will start the vicious cycle of makeup and acne again. There's also a boy who I'm dating, but I've also been avoiding him because of my skin(he asked me out when I was completely clear and he's always seen me clear). I can't bear to see the look on his face when he realizes I've become HIDEOUS. Sadly, I can't hide forever. I'll be starting college/university in a week and I'll be living in a dorm. And I'm FREAKING OUT. I've always wanted to go to this college, but now, it's the last thing I want. EVERYONE will see the state of my skin. And there are people there who knew me when I was clear and always considered my skin to be good. I won't be able to face them looking the way I am right now. If I can't wear makeup to bolster my confidence and self-esteem in college, I won't be able to enjoy it at all. If push comes to shove, I will face everyone - but I know I'll have my head down in shame and low self-esteem. I'll be so busy despairing over my skin and my "unworthiness" that I'll spend most of my time hiding from others. And that's the opposite of how I hoped to be in college. I know beauty isn't skin deep and that you can be confident no matter what . But it's easier said than done. At the moment, I wish I could dig a hole and bury myself. I'm including a picture of how my skin is looking right now. The marks are only on one side of my face(which is strange because I wear makeup all over my face). My dermatologist prescribed me accutane but I've been putting off the treatment, because I absolutely dread the "initial breakout". God knows what havoc that will wreak on my skin.. Sorry for the long rant. But this has been weighing me down in depression for the last two months. Please share your two cents if you can relate(or if you have something to say ).