feeling a bit down? i dedicate this song to you :P

samim - heater


cos lifes too short to be grumpy

hover function..?

i notice some forums have a function where if you hover the mouse pointer over a thread title on the main forum page, it displays a little pop up box that shows the first paragraph or whatever of the thread. is this something that would be compatible with invision board? if so it'd be great if you could incorporate it.. it would mean you could tell what a thread was about without actually going into it, and stop the annoying process of clicking on threads with vaguely interesting titles only to find they're about something sucky (such as this one for example )

would you talk about acne with a stranger?

i was in this situation today where i was chatting about nothing in particular with this random guy while we were both waiting around outside the stadium. and he had a decent amount of acne. i could tell he was self conscious with the way he'd sort of hide that part of his face and stand with that side turned away from me a little bit while he was talking etc (i know cos ive done the exact same shit).

im usually totally clear these days, but my skins not that great at the moment for some reason. and ive got a couple zits around my chin and one big sore one on my cheek. anyway i kind of wanted to talk about acne with this guy, its something we had in common at the very least. but i was sure it wouldve made him feel worse about it, so i didnt.

but im thinking what if he had noticed mine and wanted to talk about it too, but also decided it would be best not to bring it up, or wouldnt it have been funny if he was a member of the site who we see all the time on the org. or even just that it would be nice to hear what he's doing about it, what works and what doesnt and even to maybe give him some advice on what i know to have worked for mine. or get some advice in return. hell even just to let him know about this site if he doesnt already.

im thinking would i really care that much if someone noticed mine? maybe a little bit. but if they had it too then i think i would be fine with it. but then again im past the stage of caring so much whereas i realise a lot of people aren't.

but if i had noticed it/picked up on it i imagine he wouldve felt terrible, and if i had actually talked about it he wouldve realised that its so noticeable and felt even worse. even if i did it subtle, like slyly brought up my own acne in conversation or something he wouldve probably figured it was in response to my noticing his.. anyway after chatting for about 5-10mins and really wanting to talk about acne but deciding against it, my mate came out and i headed off. but just now im thinking about it, and wondering if you lot have ever been in the same situation.

have you guys ever wanted to talk about acne with someone that isnt close to you? maybe a total stranger is a bit weird but what about someone like a coworker/colleague etc? have you ever? could you ever? and how would you feel if someone noticed yours and mentioned it?

lousy day, lousy life, lousy thread..

im sorry to make one of those depressing self-absorbed threads, and i hope i dont bring anyone down but im feeling really miserable right now and i just need to talk about it or something. i usually leave any emotional bullshit at the door when i check in to the org, but im really feeling down today. like really rock bottom. ive had a crap day on top of a whole lot of crap days and i've come home on this cold rainy night to my cold dark lonely room after yet another day of doing what i hate blending into all the other days just like it, and its so depressing and im so sick of it all. im just so sick of everything, im even sick of myself. i hate it all so much i just want to run away and leave all my problems behind. but i cant run away from myself so im still here, stuck in this hole ive spent 28 years digging and i hate it so much it hurts but its all ive got. i sat down on my bed when i got home and actually broke down and cried for no reason and i feel so ashamed that i've become such a failure. i've let everyone down, but worst of all i've let myself down. its like all the courage ive kept up for so long has finally begun to crumble and i just cant fool myself that its gonna be ok anymore. im usually the sort of person who sees the glass half full, but tonight im sitting here and ive actually got tears in my eyes as i type this because i've realised that i've been wrong. i've told myself all this time that it would get better and it would all work out alright but i've been kidding myself and i was too stupid to even notice. ive realised that every time ive told myself that theres hope, its been a lie. and every time ive gone easy on myself for fucking my life up ive just been making it worse. i feel so alone and i hate everything about myself and who i am and what i do and how im living my pathetic life, and i hate that i dont seem to be able to do anything about it. i just want to go to sleep and pretend its all a bad dream, but i know that when i wake up tomorrow it's still going to be me and its still going to be my life, and that hurts so bad. im sorry to sound so melodramatic and im sorry to just let it all out like this, but please dont make any mean comments, i dont think i could handle it right now. thanks for listening.

hi im rodd

hi everyone, my name is rodd and im an acneholic.

ive been mostly clear for about 6 months now ,but i find it hard to keep away from the acne and sometimes i just cant resist and overdo it

my addiction to acne started when i was about 18years old, and it's been pretty bad at times. often ill have some acne first thing when i wake up in the morning, and someof my binges have lasted as long as a week

i realise that by having acne so frequently i am not only making life difficult for myself but also for those around me. and i hope that with your support i am able to do without it in the near future