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About psychokitty

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  1. skin picking has ruined my face

    I am in the same boat in a lot of ways. I have terrible texture from years of being not-so-nice to my skin. For the last 20 years I've had the same few pretty major icepick scars from picking at acne (on my nose of all places) so I've always been insecure about those but in 2014 I started having a major hormonal imbalance and my skin got so bad and it seemed like everything was scarring and leaving scarred pores all over my face. Also looking wrinkly looking in places. I had just a total meltdown about it. Complete dysmorphia. It was the worst anxiety I'd ever had and then times 100. Paranoia around other people that made being around other people so unbearable. All of it felt like a living hell. Since then, my skin texture looks a bit worse than it did 2 years ago, I'm still unhappy with it but I don't freak out about it. When I come out of a public bathroom and look in the mirror I don't run back into the stall crying and spend a half an hour looking in my compact trying to cover up all the terrible texture while everyone wonders "Where did she go??". Not totally sure what's changed but I have some acceptance of looking in the mirror and my flaws not causing the end of the world in my head. Eventually it sank in, nobody cares about my face like I do. People aren't laying in bed at night thinking "OMG HER FACE". Yeah, superficial people do exist but there's a whole lot less of them than you actually think. Nobody is perfect and even the ones that do look perfect are dealing with some kind of shit on some level or another. Honestly, I've never found anything to fix it or really help it. I tried dermarolling and found it to be such a pain and made things worse with it. I used a dermaroller not the pen and focused on my nose, which the skin on the nose is different and that's not really recommended. But I think the pen if for much smaller jobs. From what you are describing it sounds like you would want a dermaroller. I don't think I will try anything else, at least for now. I've done research on all the lasers and peels out there and they are not fool proof and is filled with so many stories of procedures gone wrong or treatments making things worse. Personally, I want to wait for something better which something has to be available eventually, some cutting edge new technology. For a while I had my hopes up about Recell but now am not sure. I'm not trying to crush hope for you but I think everyone should at least be aware and cautious. Don't do anything until you've invested hours and hours of research and are really comfortable it's right for you. I really think it's important focus on fixing the emotional scars and depression/anxiety. Easier said than done, I know.