madeupdreams

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About madeupdreams

  • Birthday 12/24/1986

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  • Gender Female
  • Location Tucson, AZ

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  1. I'm so over my shitty skin. I hate it more intensely than I have ever hated anything in my life. I just want to look normal. I've suffered with acne long enough, why won't it just go the fuck away?
  2. I'm scared

    Aw, I'm so sorry I can definitely relate to how you feel, 110%. Acne has turned me into a complete anxious wreck. I'm afraid to make any plans, whether short-term or long-term, because I never know how bad my skin is going to be. Like you said though, it's possible that by the time your acne goes away you will have missed out on so many opportunities that could have brought you happiness and security. As much as I want to hide from the world and give up on life on a regular basis, that one thought is my driving force. I went back to college when my skin was at its absolute worst at age 27 and it was incredibly nerve wracking but I forced myself to stick it out because I couldn't let myself go the rest of my life without getting a degree and pursuing my passions simply because I was depressed about my appearance. Don't let your life pass you by because of your acne. At the end of the day, it's more than likely the LAST thing anyone else notices about you.  *hugs* Feel free to send me a message if you ever need someone to vent to. 
  3. afraid of antibiotic resistance

    I was on doxy for a little over a year, and my skin was COMPLETELY clear until right around the one year anniversary, and then the breakouts came right back. I can't say for sure whether the same will happen to you but it's definitely a possibility. Antibiotics are not meant to be a longterm solution for acne. I'm grateful for that year of clear skin, but man is it devastating to have a face full of acne again. Luckily for you, you're only 16 and your acne might go away as you get older. I'm one of those unfortunate people whose acne never went away (I just turned 29) but for a lot of people it's something they only struggle with during their teenage years.
  4. I completely understand your frustration. I'm only a year younger than you and I've thought my acne was behind me so many times,  only to have it come back again and again. I've almost completely lost hope at this point. I don't want to accept that my acne will never go away for good, but that's the way it seems right now. Sorry you're going through this. I know how much a bad breakout can just suck the life out of you and ruin your day :/
  5. Day # 119 Spiro @ 100 mg (month 4)

    I wish I could offer more meaningful insight and advice than just "I feel you, hang in there!" So has your doage been at 100mg for the full 119 days, or did you work your way up? I've been on spiro for almost six months now but I worked my way up from 25 mg because my other derm tried putting me on 100 mg to start a couple years ago and the side effects totally kicked my ass so I had to stop (and at the time the antibiotics and topicals I were using were keeping me pretty clear anyway). All I can tell you is that every time I've upped my dosage, my skin has gone craaazy before starting to settle down again. My skin was looking decent a month ago when I was on 75 mg, but I was still having breakouts so my derm upped me to 100 mg to see if that extra "oomph" would get me completely clear...and I've been having HORRIBLE breakouts the past month, but I'm trying to stick with it to see if this dosage is what I need to be totally clear once my body gets used to it.  I really hope that this frustrating spiro journey will eventually pay off for both of us. Keep your chin up, and I'll try to do the same. 
  6. I feel your pain. I'm 29, got acne the second I hit puberty and had pretty awful skin in high school, but it actually didn't get to be at its worst until I was 27! I know how frustrating it is and I also struggle with feeling hopeless and afraid that I'll have acne forever. I'm finally reaching a point of acceptance with it though. I know that I'm seeing a dermatologist and taking all the steps I can to make it better, and that's all I can do. I can't keep tormenting myself about something I can't control. I hope you can reach a similar state. For whatever it's worth, I can tell you that doxycycline worked AMAZINGLY for me for a year, but then I developed a resistance to it and my acne came back full force. So keep that in mind when you're using antibiotics. They seem to be a temporary solution at best and may only worsen the problem in the end by allowing more resistant bacteria to develop. Personally, I'm starting to consider accutane as an option for my acne even though I've avoided it all of these years because I was too afraid of the side effects. I know it's not a cure for everyone and some people's acne comes back but it still seems like a more permanent solution than anything else I've tried (and I've tried just about EVERYTHING else at this point). 
  7. Am I doing something wrong?

    I would absolutely recommend switching to a cleanser with a lower percentage of BP. Everything I've heard and read (including what two dermatologists have told me) says that 10% is no more effective than say, 3-5%, it just dries your skin out more. I have found it to be true in my own personal experience as well. I used to use SO many harsh products on my face in a  desperate attempt to battle my acne and it definitely made things worse. 
  8. Incredibly frustrated and upset today. I'm 100% consistent with using both my oral (spirinolactone, which I've been on for almost six months) and topical (tretenoin and clindamycin) medications, and some weeks my skin will be amazingly clear but then the next week I'll have another breakout. My skin looked great last week, and this week it looks like absolute shit. I'm in the middle of a horrific, painful breakout covering my left jawline and left side of my neck. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I feel like giving up. 
  9. Yeah, they were definitely the same person.
  10. I called you that because you were spewing a bunch of ignorant, misogynistic garbage.  I don't normally stoop to name calling but it was well deserved in that case. Not sorry about it. 
  11. I was talking to Lucas89, not you, but no I don't think that. I don't either of you are here to bully people, although I think Lucas89 gets pretty dang close sometimes. I've seen you give plenty of good advice and support on other posts, I just didn't agree with your approach on this particular post (although I get that you were just trying to put things in perspective for the OP). 
  12. Here's the thing: you don't get to decide who the "real" acne sufferers are or who is genuinely depressed about it. I'll admit that I've seen a couple pictures of people's skin on here where I scoffed and said to myself "really, that's it?" but I'm not going to tell them that their struggle is meaningless just because they don't have the same severity of acne that I do. A lot of people on here have better skin than I do, and a lot of people have worse skin. It doesn't matter. We're all on here to lend each other support, aren't we?
  13.   Y'know, being reminded that other people have it worse isn't all that helpful when you're going through a rough time. Just because someone hasn't been bullied because of their acne doesn't mean they haven't suffered significant physical and emotional pain because of it. There's no competition involved here. People are allowed to be upset over the so-called "small things" the OP listed. 
  14. I've done this more times than I can count. I almost even chickened out of my own birthday party a couple years ago because of my skin! I know how hard it is to go out and be social when you're having a bad skin day, but I will say that every time I've pushed through all of that anxiety and self-consciousness and went out anyway, I was glad I did. Staying home just gives me more time to obsess over my skin in the mirror and cry about how ugly I feel. When I'm out with my friends it's a lot easier to forget about my skin, if only for a few hours. I'm sorry you missed out on the Christmas party, but try to still get out and do something fun this holiday season! I'm sure you deserve it. 
  15. I've heard some real horror stories from some people on here about their dermatologists, so I feel fortunate for finding one that was so sweet and supportive on my first try. I had the same fears as you going into my appointment, but my dermatologist really set me at ease. Have you looked up patient reviews for the derm you're planning on seeing? That might help give you an idea of what their bedside manner is like. Some doctors have little to no people skills, but there are plenty of others that do. Do a little research on your derm and maybe that will help you either feel a little less nervous or will help you on your way to finding someone who's a better fit. Good luck!
  16. Thanks for this! I've been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks a lot this year, and the trigger is almost always my acne. It's alwtays reassuring to know I'm not alone.  Your story about that spa was horrifying! I'm so sorry you went through that. I would've had a complete meltdown. The woman who runs that place sounds like a total con artist. And wtf was with her slapping your hand away when you were covering your face??