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Everything posted by il90

  1. Hi, so I've been furiously searching the internet for anyone with similar chipmunk-y face after having done this procedure. I can't find much. So, I thought I would share. For everyone (if any) that will go through the same thing! It all started with me actually coming to terms with my scars, and just deciding that I could just live with them. Then I saw a doctor who felt sorry for me, and then my sister telling me that no one would ever think of my as traditionally beautiful (her exact words were that the norm would never consider me beautiful). And, no she wasn't trying to be cruel, that is apparently just what she thinks. He had an opening a few days later so I just loosely agreed to just do it. I will go through the whole ordeal so you can prepare. It was painful and excruciatingly uncomfortable. I was terrified that something would go wrong. And if I had know I don't think I would have done it. That is not to say that the doctor was bad, he was really good and professional. I was just terrified because the procedure is fairly invasive and I have super sensitive skin. Also pretty terrified of the nodules that some people get after subcision. Also, heard of someone loosing a lot of fat which also sounds pretty bad. They started with spreading this numbing cream all over my face and then some plastic thing to keep it in place. I looked nuts, but so did like everyone else so who cares? I have eczema around eyes so that made it itch so I had to keep taking it off in certain places. I waited for like an hour and then they took my blood (for prp). I was waiting around a lot (the part that I didn't mind). I was seriously having second thoughts by now. The nurse told me to lie down on this surgery table/stool you know the kind. The doctor comes out with like 20 of these thin needles filled with blood (I assumed mine). I am fairly nauseous by now. But I don't wanna be a pussy, so I just bit down and told myself to just endure it. He inserted blood into ALL my scars which hurt like a bitch. I was writhing and trashing while this was going on. I just hadn't prepared that this would even happen to be honest. The blood is everywhere you can imagine. Then afterwards he takes up this derma pen (that has like a mechanical hum to it) and press it down on my skin and have it go back and forth very fast. This hurts the worst on bony areas. Although it wasn't that bad to be honest. They had forgot numbing cream on some parts so yeah those parts hurt a bit. Afterwards I had some ice packs. By this time my face was so hot. It was pounding like crazy. Remember that I told you that I hadn't mentally prepared for this? I had just loosely agreed to just try it out. So, by this time I'm like I want to go home. Fuck this. This is not worth it. Who is to even say that I will have all that much improvement? Some people say like 10% which just isn't good enough for this. BUT, like I said I just didn't want to be a pussy. So, as I sit there (or lie) watching him prepare needles for the subcision part there is a war in my head (Should I, should I not?). But, indecision makes me stay. He puts local anesthesia like you get at the dentist but a whole lot more. Yes your whole face turns numb. My mouth could not move and looked nuts for hours afterwards. The sides of my mouth kept turning down and only half my mouth could move when speaking. Subcision was the worst part, not pain-wise (although it was painful) but it was too uncomfortable to describe. It was like they were sawing somewhere on my skin, he kept pulling and sawing. This is where I panic enough that I start crying. Poor doctor, he is just doing his job. But I just got panicked, what is this, what am I doing to myself??? Anyways, he couldn't finish them all I think because I was just not in a very good state, although he probably did like 8-10 scars. After this he said you need to press really hard now on the areas where I subcided so they won't develop nodules. So, pressed with all I had! I pressed so much! I do not want nodules on top of this! Fuck no. There was so much blood on the paper towels that I pressed with. My arms hurt by the time he came back to do the TCA cross. By then I had decided that I would not get TCA cross on the areas where I couldn't hide behind my hair. So he only did TCA cross on the sides of my face. Whooho for actually making my first vocal decision. It burns really bad, at least on my skin. This freaked me out, but he did quite a few. Did not even know I had this many scars to begin with. Oh well. After all this was done I was just lying there watching the ceiling wondering how the fuck I am going to be able to travel home like this. I live in another city so I had to go on a train for 2+ hours after this. I really thought my face was oozing blood by now and I had fleshy wounds all over my skin (this is what it felt like). My face was also numb so I had a hard time speaking. My mouth felt super weird. It did not look as bad as it felt. I'll show you a picture below. The nurse was laughing a little bit at my horrified look, she told me a lot of people have done this and I will be fine. In the reception, I was slurring with half my mouth being completely numb if this was this bad how bad is laser? I They were like this is probably the most painful thing you can have done, what you just did. Did not know that. I also asked if I'm the only one who has cried and the doc was like no, but mostly all men cry while women have a higher threshold of pain. Interesting! (Not for me though bummer). So, this was my scars before (taken months ago though) they look okay here but they look way worse in harsh lighting and in the evening (mornings are always great)! What I am concerned about is the fact that the swelling has not gone down yet! It has been 24 hours now!! If anything it looks worse now. I look fucking terrible! Why do we have to go through so much pain??? It hurrrrts!!!! (These pictures does not do it justice, it looks like I have two BIG apples inside my cheeks).
  2. Oh please, doctors aren't careful when they use needling they just stab you repeatedly everywhere and that is it. There is no risk to hit an artery if you are needling yourself. You make it sound like doctors are super careful, they aren't. They are busy and stressed. Most likely not as careful as you will be to your own skin. Although subcision is better to go to a doctor since this procedure is more complicated and carries bigger risks. Nevertheless, my experience with doctors is the fact that they aren't really careful with that either. You might faint when doing it to yourself though haha. Not a good idea overall.

    You should be a spokes person for the cosmetic industry, "you are all garbage! Spend money now or die ugly and unhappy"
  4. Thank you Robertitoo, that was a nice find.
  5. Did infini destroy my skin?

    She is telling you to seek help to deal. Your life has taken a turn, that's the truth. Maybe it'll heal, maybe not. Regardless, you need to learn to live with it. It is not as bad as some people make it out to be, yeah we can't model but it's not like we are handicapped. We do not live "half full" lives just because we have a bit different skin. Fucking own it man, don't be that person who lets life swallow you up, no one will remember that guy. I guess you need time, I did. It's vastly better, so it does get better. But, it will never be what it used to be so just ignore it and go out and do whatever you would have done without it, don't drop out of Uni. You need to push through. You will regret it if you give up. Good luck! I know you will be fine eventually, it's just really hard right now but don't drop out of Uni and if people are haters then let them, it's really whatever some people are just rotten.
  6. So, these scars are literally driving me mad. It looks absolutely horrible. I really need so support. I am not done with accutane, but it feels like the meds are actually making them worse. In the morning they look fine, but as the day progresses so does my scars. They look even worse when I am tired or sad. What level are they? Moderate? Am I ever going to get rid of them? I just got glasses just for when I am sitting really far back in the class room and can't see the board. Now, however, I can see absolutely everything! I can see my teacher's wrinkles. It is just too much. Are people going around seeing all this? My vision is fine short-distance however my scars look worse with glasses far away then they do up close with or without glasses. I never thought it was this bad. But I feel like people are starring at them, am I going mad?
  7. What are you talking about? I didn't ask for a BellaFill commercial but actual studies and proof of what you are saying is true (that in 7-10 years the microdroplet injections will fail). You keep reciting that different doctors say this and that but in all honesty we all should know that doctors have vastly different motives for doing what they do. I have yet to see good results from BellaFill. Frankly, it cannot produce the same results. You are very much allowed to argue against Silicone (microdroplet injections of it) but you need to to so logically. If what you are saying that in 7-10 years most likely you will have complications then give me proof of that. Actual studies. That some plastic surgeons have switched to BellaFill tells me nothing as they are hardly ever successful in achieving lasting results anyhow. Furthermore, a lot of them have monetary motives that has nothing to do about the safety of the patient. However, I am very interested in actual evidence because that might sway my opinion. I actually found a study that checked a patient 30 years on, who was doing great. If you would like I can hunt it down.
  8. Could you point me in the direction of finding the studies that say problems will come in 7-10 years with the microdroplet injection technique? I have yet to see any. However, I have seen a couple that have done great 30 years on...? Don't send me photos of people who injected a ton of silicone in the 70s that is hardly the same thing, we are talking minuscule amounts here. Bellafill can't be reversed either?
  9. Micro-droplet silicone injections might be what you need then. It is pretty much the only thing that can give us what we are looking for unfortunately. Although, some argue the risk is too great so do your research first. The intense obsession with your flaws usually comes from somewhere (psychologically). I should know. Perhaps try to understand why you feel the way you do.
  10. Sudden scarring on cheeks, old accutane user

    Oh god. Yes candida exist but not in the sense that you believe. It is part of our biology. If you had problems with white blood cells they wouldn't attack in the first place. It's like you are adding together different scientific studies and then going "see snakes gives birth to rabbits" it makes no sense. However, this tactic is usually adopted by holistic 'doctors' that need something to back up their pseudo science. To each their own I suppose though. Also, who ever said google was a substitute for actual science? You are actually telling me that I need to google something and the more hits I get must mean it is true! For everyone here, listen to your instincts. I'm out though. Yes. Probiotics can help. That is true, just make sure you get a good one like Udo's choice with at least 45 billion in every cap. Add lots of hyaluronic acid too which might help. Sometimes though it could be stress and other things and it might resolve eventually on its own. Good luck! And your skin is fine to be honest but I understand that it might bug you.
  11. Sudden scarring on cheeks, old accutane user

    Oh my god there is no such thing as candida and leaky gut, it's pseudo science at best. It doesn't even deserve a proper argument. It could be a ton of things but honestly, no her gut is not leaking nor is candida out of control (candida exists in all of us and the only ones with systematic candida - overgrowth are HIV patients who have a lowered immunsystem). Honestly, I'm tired of all the bullshit you are spreading with low immunsystem or whatnot if you have acne/scarring there is absolutely nothing that proves this outrageous claim of yours. Acne is actually the body responding, if we had lowered immunsystem then we wouldn't even get acne. (I'm not going to respond beyond this - because frankly I can't be bothered to start another argument with you - but I wanted to offer another point of view before people start starving themselves to get rid off "candida" which is actually part of our biology and completely normal) It could be a lack of hyaluronic acid, perhaps get some supplements (good ones like Solgar).
  12. Alitrude, how are you feeling now? Did you have any improvements? I'm going in for February for my first one with the same doctor so please let me know about your experience I'm really curious!
  13. Unfortunately, it didn't. Not many showed up and as of now I don't have the time as I have uni and work. But, I do encourage a get together. If anyone can host please post here!
  14. Meeting Thursdays at 6 PM (GMT+1) Will post link here that will take you to chat during date and time (can also add you if you have gmail account) Anyone interested in a virtual support group? We could meet to talk about whatever, to just support each other with treatments/day to day challenges. Whatever you feel like you need to talk about when it comes to scarring and such... You would be able to come and go as you wish. It might be nice to meet people with the same problems? We'll set something up (if enough people are interested) for just one time and see how it goes. This would be a place free of judgement where we can just be ourselves. Since it will be impossible to meet face-to-face we thought doing it over Skype/google hangouts might be an idea.... If you are uncomfortable with talking face to face until you know people better just dim your lights you can decide how much you show people and how long you want to be there - all you have to do is exit the conversation! If you want to be anonymous get a fake account or change your name! If you are interested hit me up (message me).
  15. I know it sucks. But honestly I know my first treatment I had some really weird things happen for the first month. Please put it aside for now. Message me if you need to talk. I have been there.
  16. Did infini destroy my skin?

    Yes. After procedures like these your skin can do really weird things! Try to understand that these things are scary and so there is a lot of anxiety involved. Try to take a step back and evaluate your skin in a month or two (preferably three) to see what the real effects are. Yes, it can temporarily trick you into thinking it looks worse (perhaps swelling in some areas etc - sometimes your skin has moments when it depresses like that but may resolve in the end). However, why did you do INFINI? What did you pay for that? The only thing I found is worth the money at this point is 'mini subcisions' with saline injections (50 pounds every other month) or micro-droplet injections of silicone (a bit more expensive maybe two grand for three sessions). Large oral dose of HA would probably be good to take everyday too since I know your think your skin is being a bit volatile.
  17. Yes. There is definitely hope. However, you should never feel embarrassed! Feel proud because you have to be stronger than other people. Take this time to reflect on why you feel embarrassed about something you had no control of. I am confident that one day you'll get what you want. Start researching subcision/saline with subcision/ dermpen/ single needling/ TCA cross. And, the thing that might do it all: micro-droplet silicone injections but do try to exhaust every other option before because silicone might be a huge risk as it is permanent. Good luck. And, remember there is a lot of us and we all live with acne scars. And, I for one am not embarrassed about that. I am just me and some parts are "better" and some are different (like these scars). But, that's okay. It's okay to not look like everyone else.
  18. Hey guys, happy that more want to join! I'm in Italy again but I get back in 10 days... so how about we set something up for real this time the 17th? Please let me know by message if you can make it otherwise I won't set anything up... I think there is a max of 10 but I thought 5 in each group might be nice as a start. But, I need to know how many we are first so let me know if you can make it and what time is good for you (daytime GMT+1 best!!)
  19. Is there anything I can do?

    I know, it happens to us all... Sometimes it just gets to you. There is a ton of things you can do though. If you are on a budget I would start dermarolling with a 2 mm every 3-4 months (but can take up to 12 months to see results). But I saw best improvements from subcision and Juvaderm Hydrate (at the same time). It costs me maybe £350 every time (depends on how much you use). However, unfortunately these stupid scars will probably always hang around. I find getting some improvements from treatments coupled with therapy and trying to love yourself as you are is a great way to combat the anxiety. Let me know if you want to know anything else.
  20. Is there anything I can do?

    Yes there are a ton of things you can do. Start with a round of subcision - needling - filler (or Restylane Vital/juvaderm hydrate) every 3-4 months perhaps? Your scarring is not that bad and you're really good looking, try to fix all that anxiety and stuff in your head too if you can. I promise once you do your imperfections won't have this much power over you. Good luck!
  21. There are a ton of people writing depressing things here yet I don't see you removing their posts? I am pretty sure no one is equipped to deal with anyones issues here that should not mean that every time someone is in a bad place they should get blocked because people feel like they are 'depressing.' The whole point with this forum is for people to share (usually it is about depressing stuff I admit but that hasn't gotten anyone a warning before). Honestly, I do find your response to this woman inappropriate. You could have just let her have her say and that would have been that. She didn't continue posting until you attacked her with how much she "lies" and how "depressing" she is. Yet, she is not lying. A bit overzealous I admit. Why not just acknowledge her pain by letting her know you are sorry for what she has been through and then leaving it alone. I just don't understand how you can respond this way, this is a human being.
  22. First, this woman has obviously been hurt by Dr. Lim and that she is speaking up about that does hardly mean an "obsession and a psychosis." Secondly, I have not seen many posts by her and I have been here for some time so your statement that she "defame and create hostility any time a doctors name is mentioned" is quite perplexing. I don't think she is "causing others to have a bad experience" at all. She is just afraid of what has happened to her. "He cannot speak here to defend himself." Well, he does have you right? However, how is she suppose to defend herself? I thought this forum was suppose to welcome real patient's experiences. I find it interesting that you speak to her with such venom, what do you hope to achieve by this? Yes. She might write a lot about her experience but so what? Why do you care so much? If she decided that she would like to breach her legal contract that is her choice this forum does not belong to the medical community but to the community as a whole. Please don't tell someone that has been betrayed like this that they should seek emotional help, that is the equivalent of bullying.
  23. dr mei heng tan ruined my face!

    She is obviously hurt. This forum should be for the benefit of patients not doctors. These things need to be out here for patients (like us) when we make a decision. This is the only way we have any power. I am so sorry this happened to you. How does it look like today? Did it get any better? Why did he use lasers around your eyes?? I hope anyone considering him will see this before they agree to something they might regret. I am very sorry this happened to you, please let me know if you were able to fix it?
  24. Low Fat Diet Is Clearing My Skin

    I have been vegan myself. I know from experience that you need meat once or twice a week. Trying to get all vitamins/minerals from a vegan diet is exhausting. I'm not sure this can be called 'brainwashed.' Don't worry you can continue eating whatever you want however I want people to understand that being vegan does not equal acne-free. However, a plant based organic whole food diet can do wonders for acne. Also, if people should go down this road they need to know how serious it is to control vitamin/mineral uptake. There is no proof that your acne came from eating fats, as correlation does not imply causation. I'm pretty sure the fats daily requirement takes into account what you need to absorb certain vitamins/minerals, so it does matter if you are eating 10% of this amount. You don't just need a little bit of fats you need a specific % everyday which you now have decided against. This is your choice however I am offering everyone a second opinion on the matter.
  25. dr mei heng tan ruined my face!

    Don't take down your review! Don't let them win. This is the only power we have as a consumer.