niklaus

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About niklaus

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  1. Feb 09, 2016

    I think Bio Oil is unfortunately breaking me out. However, my friend swears by it so I'm going to continue it until my next shipment of Banish Vitamin C serum arrives in combination with Retin A at night.  I've been researching how to get my hands on birth control pills to manage my acne. My student health care card doesn't cover the cost of contraceptives (I study in Australia) which I think is outrageous considering that many young people are sexually active. Although I am not and will not be for a long time, I still feel bad for those who have to cover the cost on their own. I've read that it can cost $6-13 on the right health care plan but $30-120 if you don't have it. On a student budget, I don't know how sustainable this will be. I DESPERATELY want these pills because I cannot handle anymore breakouts! It's ruining my confidence and my life! I've read that coming off the pill may cause the acne to return but it's a chance I'm willing to take. Hopefully by the time I'm ready to have children, I will be at an age where getting acne isn't common. However, having read that people have adult acne in their 30s to 50s also have acne doesn't do anything to calm my nerves. Please, if anyone in Australia knows how to obtain these pills at an affordable cost, kindly comment below or send me a message. I would really appreciate it! (: 
  2. Feb 06, 2016

    Been breaking out lately and it's hard not to be discouraged. I think it's because of any of the following reasons or maybe a combination of them: a) pimples from my period which I had recently, b) Bio Oil, c) Retin A or d) my skin is just being shitty on it's own. I desperately wish I had my Banish Vitamin C serum to battle them for me! The hyperpigmentation on the right side of my face is clearing up nicely but I try not to feel too happy about it in case I jinx it. Yes, I know that there is no correlation between the two haha 
  3. Feb 04, 2016

    *Sigh* Been breaking out on my forehead, temple and chin regions. I dearly wish that I still had my Banish Vitamin C serum with me. I'm scared of a massive breakout just when my skin was clearing out. Ugh I can't.. 
  4. Feb 02, 2016

    I don't know how many people are going to care about this post but I need to put it out there because I just need to express my feelings. I was sooo upset and raging mad yesterday! I accidentally spilled all of my product in my minuscule Banish Vitamin C serum bottle aka the miracle potion! The product is packaged into a tiny glass bottle with an eye dropper thing on top. A part of the eye dropper detached itself once a few weeks ago and I guess I didn't fix it properly (I didn't touch the part of the stopper that goes into the bottle as I didn't want to contaminate the product with bacteria) and the product spilled, leaving half it's original amount. Yesterday as I was applying my miracle holy grail product, I realized that there was nothing left in the bottle! Turns out everything has spilled to my toiletry case! My next shipment comes in the beginning of March! *Sigh*  My skin has been doing so great due to this product (minus the flare up due to my period) and now I'm fearful that all that hard work, care and maintenance will go down the drain. I've finally come to a point (since November) where I'm quite content with my skin. Since I have no option right now, I'm going back to Bio Oil which my friend swears by. Even if it does have a positive effect on my skin, I think the change will take longer to be noticeable. Sigh, tis is life
  5. Jan 30, 2016

    After a surprisingly long period of time without dryness in my face, it's odd to have that tight feeling again now that I'm back on Retin A. Applying Vitamin C on those areas feels good but I can't say for sure if it has helped combat the dryness. I also applied some Cetaphil moisturizer (oily skin version) but there was the slight burning sensation that I'm used. Might need to change my moisturizer to something more gentle but a) isn't Cetaphil renowned for being a gentle moisturizer and b) IS there a moisturizer more gentle than Cetaphil? Side note - In the past few months I've noticed that I get breakouts a few days BEFORE my period, not so much during that time of the month.  Alrighty, ciao!
  6. Jan 29, 2016

    I'm pleasantly surprised with the power of my Vitamin C serum! I highly recommend the Banish Vitamin C serum or any serum with a high concentration of Vitamin C. The product I use claims to contain 99% Vitamin C but I'm sure that is a targeted incentive for consumers to buy the product. I read someplace that if a product claims such a thing, the rest of the ingredients are non-beneficial, harmful or something along those lines. Nonetheless, this serum that I've been using works wonders! Within three applications (I used one whole drop each time), it drastically shrunk one huge pimple! Even toothpaste and tea tree oil have never worked that well for me! An added bonus is the immense decrease in redness around the pimple. The mark left from a medium sized zit I had last week has virtually disappeared! As someone who has tried a ton of products to combat acne, I can't recommend Vitamin C enough(at a high concentration because the Body Shop Vitamin C serum which has a low concentration only had a small effect in comparison)!
  7. Jan 28, 2016

    Breaking out on my forehead and there is one huge spot right under my eye. Hard not to feel discouraged and think like I'm not making progress. Ugh I HATE hormonal acne!! On days like this I wish I was on birth control pills even though the thought of it scares me. I've been neglecting my Retin A so I've been using it again. It could be why I'm breaking out on my forehead come to think of it. Surprisingly, it makes me quite red in the face for about an hour after application which isn't normal for me. It doesn't burn or anything but my face feels really hot so I combat it by blasting the AC in my room to 21 degrees Celsius.  Why does this acne struggle seem never-ending? Am I going to feel this way about myself even late into my 50s? My mom told me today that now I'm 20, the acne should be decreasing soon. Au contraire, mother dear.
  8. Jan 26, 2016

    Oh great, here we go again. I'm breaking out again, this time in places that have been relatively inactive. It's hard to not be discouraged during this time. I'm thinking of going on birth control pills because a) come exam time, I will have a massive breakout due to stress (right now it's been 2 months since my exams finished and I'm still dealing with the repercussions) and b) even after 5 years with dealing with acne, I cannot deal with the emotional toll and I don't think I can deal with being at a place where I'm happy and satisfied by my skin only for it to wreak havoc on my face and confidence. I have plenty of reservations on going on birth control pills which include the initial breakout which I hear that some women face, massive breakouts after stopping using the pill because the body cannot handle the acne alone after relying on the pills to do the job for it and permanent side effects for future pregnancies (not sure about the last bit).  *Sigh* The struggles of an acne sufferer. :(
  9. Jan 24, 2016

    My skin has been quite good lately. I've been applying the Banish Vitamin C serum day and night. The only drawback with that product is that it makes me look like an oil slick. Yesterday the tiny bottle slipped out of my hand and half of the product poured to the floor. I was very disheartened when that happened because a) the product is quite expensive for such a small quantity and b) my next shipment arrives at the end of next month. My period will be coming soon and I'm dreading the wave of breakouts that will ensue. 
  10. Jan 12, 2016

    Feels wonderful when people say and notice that there is such a big difference in my skin. Now I mostly have to deal with the hyperpigmentation (if you're brown like me, you will know that it takes a hell of a long time for them to disappear). I feel a bit more confident in my bare skin. I haven't gone out with makeup for 4 consecutive days mostly because I want my skincare products to work at their maximum potency. Although the Banish Vitamin C serum feels oily on my skin, I can see a major difference. I have high expectations for this product. I've paused on Bio Oil until I finish this Vitamin C serum because Vitamin C tends to oxidize (turns to a yellow/orange color) over time and loses its effectivity. I will use it after this serum finishes and also, I think the serum has a faster effectivity than the oil which I hear may take months to show results. I'm going to place my bets on the serum for those reasons.  It feels good to know that I need a little makeup to cover my acne. I used to cake on layers because the acne would always peak through. I use powder foundation for anyone who wants to know. 
  11. Jan 8, 2016

    It has been almost two weeks since I've been away on vacation and man, there is a HUGE difference in my skin. Usually I live alone and because of all that loneliness, I tend to get all caught up in my thoughts and pessimistic emotions. Although initially it was hard to be around my family without makeup on, I grew to be comfortable (ok maybe not 100% yet) in my bare skin. I am not constantly stressed and nit picking over every single blemish and hyperpigmentation mark. My makeup is applying much smoother and there is hardly any dryness in my face! It amazes me that my skin doesn't feel tight especially after cleansing. For the past few days I've been using The Body Shop Vitamin C serum as a primer underneath my makeup and it keeps me relatively matte with the exception of a few blotting touches here and there. If I blend too long, the serum and makeup coagulates (for a lack of a better word) and creates little pieces which I brush away from my skin. Hence, it's not a good long term solution. Due to a few factors, I've not been diligently using my Bio Oil at night.. I should get back on track tonight. OH! My Banish Vitamin C serum arrived and today is my second day using it. Obviously it's too early to comment on it but I dare say that I have high hopes. It makes my skin look oily (yesterday I was blotting my face like crazy to avoid looking like a disco ball). More to come (:
  12. Jan 3, 2016

    Saw a post here recently on Acne.org where a user posted all the brands/products she had used till date. Thought it might be interesting for some of you and for self reflection purposes so here it is:   CLEANSERS: Neutrogena, Cetaphil, Dove, Clean n Clear,    SCRUBS: Neutrogena, St. Ives, Clean n Clear, Lush, Himalaya Herbal Health Care, Baking soda   FACE MASKS: Lush, Himalaya Herbal Health Care, Freemans, Neutrogena, Origins, Homemade masks composed of ingredients like turmeric powder, chickpea/whole wheat flour, honey, nutmeg, cinnamon, tea tree oil, baking soda, extra virgin olive oil,    TONERS: Nivea, Apple Cider Vinegar, Neutrogena, Tea Tree Oil + Water, Witch Hazel,    MOISTURIZERS: Dove, Neutrogena, Clean n Clear, Sweet Almond Oil, Jojoba Oil, Tea Tree Oil, The Body Shop, Cetaphil, Palmer’s, Olay   ACNE MEDICATION (internal & external): External: Clean n Clear, Clearasil, Vicco Turmeric cream, Benzac (5% benzoyl peroxide), Retin A (0.05%), The Body Shop, Oxy, Bio Oil, Tea Tree Oil, Clindamycin, Generic Tretinoin cream & solution, Sudocrem, Generic normal honey, Manuka Honey, Paula’s Choice, Vichy, Extra Virgin Olive Oil (Oil Cleansing Method), Toothpaste, Aloe Vera,  Internal: Swisse (Zinc & Vitamin A), SkinB5, Clindamycin, Generic pills, Apple Cider Vineger And there it is! Feels weird yet enlightening to think about all the products that I have used (atleast those that I remember) and the new products still yet to use in the future. Some of these soothed, aggravated or did nothing for my skin. If anyone is interested, I can do a seperate post regarding these brands. Wish I could go back in time and tell myself not to waste time, money and hope on products that had no/negative effect on my skin.    PS: Originally the title of this post was "Jan 3, 2015". Here we go again. xD
  13. Month 1: Day 25

    your boyfriend sounds like a keeper. don't let him go and don't shut him out (:  i can get why you want to distance yourself though. people ask me why i dont have a boyfriend. sometimes i say that i'm happy being single and having my freedom without any obligations which to be honest IS the main reason. however, there is a part of me that feels like i dont deserve to be with someone. i dont want him to tell me im beautiful no matter what because I don't feel or look that way or even deal with my depression. i wouldn't look in the mirror and see the things that he would see. don't want to burden him with my issues. i want to love myself (either by being rid of my acne or accepting that this is my skin and whatever happens, happens) before allowing someone to love me. 
  14. Dec 31, 2015

    Did a really bad and stupid thing last night and I feel really guilty about it. I slept with my makeup on but in my defense I was drunk and although I was capable of walking and stuff, it takes a hell of a lot of time to remove it (I use extra virgin olive oil. Beware, it stings like a bitch if it gets in your eye so I suggest that you do the rest of your face before dealing with the eyes or you'll be struggling and in tears) and patience to be gentle especially around active break outs. Hope that it didn't create any new eruptions. I didn't put on my Bio Oil yesterday so I cannot comment much on how it's going because I've only used it for one day. It smells lovely but it makes my face look like a grease ball (not that it doesn't on a daily basis lol) so it makes me self conscious when I'm chilling with my family. I have used a sweet almond oil by the brand called Tisserand many years ago for my scars and although it helped with it, I think it took some time to show a noticeable change. I must say that my face is feeling quite hydrated and moisturized lately. Usually my skin feels tight like a rope after a cleanse. Also have noticed that because I am visiting my family, I am less vigilant and obsessive about every little detail on my face. Noticed that my pores look bigger but I'm not sure if it's always been like that and I've just noticed now because their bathroom has natural light coming in or because they just got bigger over time.  I wonder how many men with acne are out there who like me want to cover their insecurities with makeup. I feel bad for them because society has this weird stigma that if a guy wears makeup he HAS to be gay or anything other than straight. If you're a guy reading this and you are contemplating about wearing makeup, just do you, boo. To hell with what society thinks. If it makes you comfortable, confident and lessen your social anxiety, just go for it! I would suggest watching Ross from the youtube channel "SkinCareWithRoss" if you're starting out. He gives really good tips for men who want to dabble with makeup. Wayne Goss' channel is also excellent!    Still waiting for my Banish Vitamin C serum to arrive. Why is it taking so bloody long?! It sure is taking it's sweet time to arrive lol. Could be because in Australia there has been four non-working days recently. Just my luck. I'm afraid that by the time it's here, the Vitamin C has started oxidizing. The Body Shop Vitamin C serum which I'm using currently has started oxidizing (you will know because the color changes from white/clear to yellow-orange over time). Not sure if it create a negative or zero impact if oxidized.. 
  15. Dec 29, 2015

    Ever since I've had acne, I would always remember to note down how my skin looks at the end of the year in December. You would expect that as time goes by, it would get better. One of my New Year Resolutions would be to have great skin but that always go unfulfilled. This year my skin looks terrible. I saw some pics from when I was in high school and when I compare it to when I was in uni, I couldn't believe that I actually thought that I had it bad in high school. Now it looks a hundred times worse. Trust me.  Side note - Still waiting on my Banish Vitamin C serum shipment to arrive. Someone who had used Bio Oil bought it for me. I will use it tonight because that person said it worked wonders for their skin. I'm skeptical because I saw a lot of product reviews online saying that the oil is too heavy and ended up clogging their pores and made their acne worse. I trust the product reviews from the Paula's Choice Beautypedia (http://www.paulaschoice.com/beautypedia/) even though there seems to be a positive bias for their own products. They gave it a one star review.. Oh well, my skin is already bad so I'm desperate.  Feeling a bit confident today only because I have makeup on. However, no amount of makeup can cover up the raised bumps. They look especially prominent in the sunlight which is one reason why I sometimes don't like to go outside but I can't hide in my room forever. 
  16. Dec 29, 2015

    Ever since I've had acne, I would always remember to note down how my skin looks at the end of the year in December. You would expect that as time goes by, it would get better. One of my New Year Resolutions would be to have great skin but that always go unfulfilled. This year my skin looks terrible. I saw some pics from when I was in high school and when I compare it to when I was in uni, I couldn't believe that I actually thought that I had it bad in high school. Now it looks a hundred times worse. Trust me.  Side note - Still waiting on my Banish Vitamin C serum shipment to arrive. Someone who had used Bio Oil bought it for me. I will use it tonight because that person said it worked wonders for their skin. I'm skeptical because I saw a lot of product reviews online saying that the oil is too heavy and ended up clogging their pores and made their acne worse. I trust the product reviews from the Paula's Choice Beautypedia (http://www.paulaschoice.com/beautypedia/) even though there seems to be a positive bias for their own products. They gave it a one star review.. Oh well, my skin is already bad so I'm desperate.  Feeling a bit confident today only because I have makeup on. However, no amount of makeup can cover up the raised bumps. They look especially prominent in the sunlight which is one reason why I sometimes don't like to go outside but I can't hide in my room forever. 
  17. Dec 27, 2015

    Hyperventilating again. Was feeling good this morning but I went to the mall just now, saw my face and saw that I look like I gained weight. Didn't buy anything. Just came home and well, I'm typing this so that I can vent. I wouldn't wish it on anyone the way I feel right now. 
  18. Dec 27, 2015

    I was outside the whole day yesterday and couldn't access this blog on my phone. Was feeling like f*cking hell yesterday. The mall was full because there was a huge sale going on and I went without makeup. Felt so socially anxious that I let it effect my mood for the whole day. I even broke down in silent tears in a changing room because I was so overwhelmed with all the stares. For example, when I approached one sales assistant earlier I saw her do a double take as she looked at my face. Felt so awful that I walked away with asking for her help.  All that pent up depression and emotions came out yesterday when I was drunk. Felt good to release all that negative energy. Feeling a lot more positive today but it won't last.
  19. Which should I apply first on my skin? Retin A or my Body Shop Vitamin C serum? I've been using Retin A for atleast 3 years now so I don't need to lessen the strength of the product penetrating my skin by putting serum first if that helps.  On average, how much time should pass before I apply the second product? Thanks! xx
  20. Dec 24, 2015

    Sucks to accidentally break white heads when I'm washing my face. Went outside 2 days in a row without makeup. It was nerve wracking and I felt like all eyes were on me (not in a good way) but I managed to push through it. Going on a flight tomorrow and I don't know if I want to wear makeup because I don't want to clog my pores with all that recycled air in the plane. When I was in a 16 hour flight a couple of months back, I had a massive breakout and I think it was because of the flight. At the same time, I'm going to see someone after a very long time so I'm nervous to show my actual face..  Patiently waiting for my Banish Vitamin C serum to come in. 
  21. Dec 22, 2015

    Today has been one of those rare good days. After many days where I have been feeling pretty shitty about myself, it has been a welcome change. By all means it doesn't mean that my skin is looking good. Gosh I wish that more than anything. It's just that my emotions have been dare say a little optimistic.. 
  22. i'm so sorry. i'm not on accutane but i relate so much to everything you said because i'm going through a horrible breakout. the worst is when people (even your friends and family) point out the obvious. do they not know that generally, people with acne actually take care of their face more than a normal person?! makes me frustrated how people can be so insensitive.  keep your head held up high. xx
  23. Hi there,  Just wondering if anyone here living in Australia knows anything about obtaining Accutane pills here. Is it called accutane or roaccutane? Are they the same? Do I need to go to the doctor for a prescription? I'm an international student and my health insurance covers only general sicknesses and I'm guessing that acne is not included. How much does it cost? How many pills in a pack  and how long do they last? I saw some advertised on ebay australia and it was pretty expensive (AU $110+). I'm not leaning towards it because I'm afraid of getting scammed or purchasing pills with added harmful ingredients (I've heard so many horror stories).  Still not sure if I want to go down this Accutane road. I'm a female and although I'm not sexually active, I know that it's harmful for eggs. Heard that once you're off accutane, chances are that your oil glands will shrink permenantly which is concerning yet great..  Thank you. Your advice would be much appreciated. 
  24. Dec 21, 2015

    Feeling a bit heavy hearted this morning. I have to remind myself to take long deep breaths so that I don't stress out and hyperventilate. Is it just me or does your skin look especially bad after cleansing your face. The redness is so prominent! Don't want to look at myself in the mirror. Feel like crying but again, I think I'm PMS-ing. Can't wait for my Banish Vitamin C serum to arrive. Hopefully it'll help but I don't want to jinx myself. Can't help but have high hopes.. I've been burned countless times with other products so I don't know..  I've been telling myself to eat healthier, not just to lose weight but also in case the food I'm consuming is taking a toll on my skin. It's easier said than done because a) I love food and b) I live alone and I suck at cooking. But mostly a) lol. 
  25. Dec 20, 2015

    Yesterday I had a huge realization. When my acne started 4 years ago, some months later I noticed that I gained weight. I guess I just blamed it on my appetite but now that I think about it, it could be because I'm stress eating because food is comfort after all. Now it makes so much sense.