Haha i just got done reading the Hobbit for the first time(late i know) in school and i can't wait to see the movie either
So i started popping those Accutane pills yesterday. I'm really excited and not one bit nervous. I feel the side effects are way overrated. It feels surreal to actually be taking it though. We'll see 5 months from now if this is the "miracle."
So i'm getting bloodwork done tomorrow for Accutane. Kinda scared, but i'm just tired of this bullshit. I've been to the doctor before and he recommended it, but i refused because of the side effects. Since then i've tried Paleo diet for months, then i went to other doctors, taken many antibiotics , countless creams, home remedies, you name it at the age of 15. I know how young i am and how serious the drug but i'm sick of it all. This has been going on for 4 years now, please work Accutane.
I feel like I should be going out to parties doing stupid young people shit, but instead i´m staying in after school doing homework(barely),eating,sleeping,wasting my youth thanks to this garbage. I would like to hang out with people i know from school, but whenever they make plans I never ask if I can go because I feel like the'll just make some excuse to not include me. It's probably irrational, but that's what I honestly think.
Thinking about it there are a lot of things i've never done in my life like gotten drunk, high, or had sex. I know these aren't exactly great goals to have, like I said stupid shit, but as a teenage guy I feel like i'm missing out on something. I just want to be like all the other carefree dumbasses my age lol. Guess i'm just not that type of person.
I was in class today asking a girl for a textbook. She asks another girl to get the textbook. That bitch says ¨For who, the ugly guy with acne?" I just sat there quietly, how the fuck do i respond? Had it been a guy i would of say something or maybe even hit him, but it wasn't a guy. I'm only used to this from guys so it surprised me. The worst part was that it really hurt me inside even though i always tell myself not to care, but i guess i'm soft deep down
My face is breaking the fuck out. Holy shit. It was kinda smooth 2 weeks ago now my forehead is awful, i have 2 big cysts on my right cheek, and i look red af all over. Worst my skin has looked in a while
This morning i was watching True Life. It was an episode on BDD. I could somewhat relate to the girls on that show feeling ugly and hopeless sometimes. Those girls were mad pretty tho and it got me thinking that people judge themselves way too harshly. Couldn't finish watching it tho, had to leave for school. Give that show a watch if you have the time, i think it's interesting.
I find that when i'm away from school i think about acne way too much. Constant picking and observing every zit. Irony huh? At school acne doesn't really bother me too much, except when i get those damn stares. Hate them bitches