I'm not too good to tell you the truth, I've been battling an unknown illness for a long time, Often feeling very bad, and everyday feel like i'm dying, I get a body fever and feel like i'm gonna pass out half the time i'm awake. It's pretty scary. All the doctors keep telling me that they can't find anything wrong with me, but some days it's really bad and I seriously think I'm going to die or something. If any of you are religous, please pray for me, Ive been praying a long time over it. My scars are the least of my worries at the moment. I've decided that if I can become healthy again, I'm going to try my damnest to start going out and living, my scars are really bad, but at this point, I would gladly accept them if I could just not be sick anymore. I'm only 19 years old, that's what worries me the most, people my age usually don't have things like this happen to them. Thank you for saying hi though tenshi, how have you been?
Yeah, I feel your pain. Some of my old friends came up to my house a while ago. I hadn't seen any of them for years. I feel the same as you.... a nervous wreck, around anyone. At first they just looked at me like, "what the fuck happened to you dude?". Then they acted like they didn't notice because they were my best friends for at least 10 years. They started talking about old times and everything, and I just sit there feeling like I didn't belong... and they was at my house too. All of them was talking about how they have kids and are getting married and stuff, that made me feel like shit, since I haven't even ever dated a girl before.... When they asked me what I've been doing for the last 4 years, I said nothing..... They just laughed.The truth is I had nothing to tell them, how fuckin embarrassing. I know how you feel about being a different person totally too, when my friends came over that day, it made me reallize how fun life really was back then, and at the same time made me feel like I would never feel that way again. None of them has even called me or anything for about a year now, after they came over that day and saw what a fucking wreck I am. I dunno what we're gonna do, but I feel your pain, it's a shitty feeling.
And also, i'm not trying to be mean or hateful in any way when I say this but, for me at least, I could read all the encouraging things that everyone on here posts to one another, over and over, day after day. It still would not make a difference, the feeling will remain at the end of the day.. fucking acne and scars is the work of the devil.
Hmm, interesting schedule. I usually go to sleep around 5:00 AM, and wake up around midnight... lol. Get up and eat some pop-tarts or some pudding packs, drop by the mirror to stare at myself for a couple minutes, smoke about 40 ciggarettes an hour and go to sleep. Then wake up and do it again the next day. Hmm.. I was recently told about this thing called a "sun" or something like that, sounds kinda scary.
Hey there matt, I know how you feel man, worst feeling in the world. I've been thinking about something that helps alot though lately. I'm assuming that you are feeling down because you feel ugly? I feel the same way alot of the time. But one thing that's helped me through the hard times is just to remmember this. The reason most of us feel bad about the way we look is because people sometimes do not accept us for who we are, another words they judge us for what we look like. Just remmember, any person who judges your appearence is not worthy of your time, nor your effort. They should not cause you to bring pain upon yourself. We shouldn't try to impress other people, we should try to impress god. Every person who judges you was created the same way as you, they have no right to judge you and if they do, you shouldn't let it bother you, because in all reallity, it doesn't make a hill of beans what they think. You and me are no different than the next guy that lives on earth, we should stop feeling inadaquite, just because other people think or say we are, that doesn't mean that we are. Make an attempt to stop trying to impress other people, because people who judge others for the simple reason that they have nothing better to do, and it makes them feel good, those people are surely dammed. In the end, they will be judged just as they have judged others,and they do not deserve your attention. Only god has the right to judge you matt, and he will not judge you by the way you look. I personally find that very comforting.
Amie, I respcect your opinion too, and I know you're probably just trying to help. But we can only take so much arguing with a single person... We've been arguing the same point all night. And no.... we're sure as hell not fortunate to be able to do this all night, but compared to how my day usually goes, this isn't all that bad. Again, if we could have the chance to do what you do, we would. Unfortunately, we don't right now.
Hey this was your cause before I met you and you were doing a good job by yourself... I'm glad to be able to help you to tell them off as we defend ourselves against their insensitivness. I still can't believe that there's someone out there like me... it's exciting really and i'm happy I could meet you.