Really liked this post. Felt the exact same way at one time in my life.
Not sure how old you are, but seems like you possess alot of wisdom and insight. While I was in high school, I went through a similiar exprience and it wasnt until I came to college that things got back to "normal".
One thing you should remember is you are young. Things will get better. I would tell you not to let these thoughts consume you but know from experience that won't do much.
Never really know what advice to give in situations like these. What I will say is don't hate yourself for feeling the way you do. Your entitled to your feelings. Like I said I felt the same way as you at one point and it is only with hindsight that I know things get better.
Keep your head up, you seem like a wonderful person