fatalbert911

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About fatalbert911

  • Birthday 07/02/1993

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  • Gender Male
  • Location USA, Eastcoast
  • Interests What interests me is the future limits of technology & science. I enjoy learning about other cultures & watching documentary films about a variety of subjects. Video games are a big thing for me, I play on a ps3 at the moment hit me up on there if you want to play sometime. I'm agnostic athiest. From 1 to 10 I honestly think I'm a 4 1/2 (yeah it sucks). But other then that I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person with good personal attributes. Some of them being as follows:honest, honorable, moral, understanding, tolerant, reasonable, open thinker, charitable. A few physical things i like about my self are: tall, my hair, my voice, my top row teeth & I my oder is never really too bad lol.

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  1. My parents got divorced when i was 11 and my father instead of owning up to his responsibilities by paying child support through out my teens. He instead would send me 100 bucks every once in a while, as a result i came into adulthood with nothing. Whats makes me so angry is that if he had done his parental duties like a man, i whould have been able to treat my acne scars and get the plastic surgury i feel i need to not look ugly anymore. But instead here i am, a 22 year old loser living with my mom and stepdad. struggling  to maintain a job for years due to having zero self confidance. I have an ugly face crooked teeth, a big ice pick scar on my nose, crooked nose and crooked eyes. Ive done the research and all of these issues could have been addressed if only i had the money. Instead i have to go to work being labbled as a freak, i fucking hate my life.
  2. Update: well im one week in and guess what, as expected ive already been labbled as the freak. Im working in this new factory where not many people work, im on 2nd shift. I now know that no matter where i go i will always have people talking shit about me so ive made a plan for my self that goes as follows. Im going to save up to straighten my teeth improve my looks by treating my scars and getting a nose job and possibly jaw augmentation as well as possibly get rid of my brow bone lump. Once i do all that, ill go back to school for a degree so i wont have to work in a factory anymore. Pay off my loans and work in a nice of office without having to worry about my looks. I want to get all of this done before i turn 30 and im 22 right now so i have 8 years to do it. If everything works out the rest of my life should be a cake walk from there, ill have a kid around 30 or 40 when i feel im ready.
  3. Well i'm starting a new job on Monday,  I'll let you guys know how it goes  although i'm assuming it'll be business as usual.
  4. Havent gone to see a lawyer about it yet, but i might if i get fired a few more times... Its bull shit, its all just bull shit, gotta work some shit job just to scrap by. If you want a better one you usually have to risk thousands in debt, see this is why im never having kids. Partly due to my acne gene, but mostly because i refuse to give the government another income slave. Motherfuckers have been screwing us over for decades, they dont tell you that in school though right? Im talking about how the economy went to shit after 2008 and how money has gone down in purchasing power over the last few decades. If your a babyboomer go fuck yourself, gen x and y stfu about millennials already as if you know what its like to be young in this digital era.
  5. Say I was wondering, has anyone currently on the forums here been able to get on welfare due to the psychological effects of acne/scars. I'm considering talking to a lawyer about my situation, to see if they can help me get on social security income. if anyone here knows about the process,  msg me about it. Fuck it I don't care anymore, if I can get on ssi I will.  
  6.   Oh absolutely, I've always wanted to try and authentic British beer lol and you're right you sound like the kind of person I could sit down and have a long meaningful and deep conversation about a variety of subjects in today's world. Nothing to do with your average day to day brain dead "some weather we're having" conversation. Small talk is like poison to me I'd rather not talk at all then to have to pretend to care about something I couldn't care less about.
  7. So I personally come to this particular section of acne.org because I know that it's the most raw section in the forums. This is the place where everyone lets it all loose. This is the place where people share their stories, their experiences and their lives. When I joined these forums years ago I had a need to tell my own story and what better audience to do that then to the very people I know can relate to me. Because the sad truth is for most of us here we don't have anyone in our daily lives that can relate to what I and others in this community have been through. These forums are a sanctuary where we can just get together and talk, just talk no judgement no backlash just a place where we can speak our mind without fear of retribution. So in that regard these forums are not a waste of time. It sounds to me, that you feel you could be accomplishing more with your time. There is no reason, why you can't visit the org while at the same time better yourself in whatever way you feel you'd like to improve yourself in. It's just a matter of finding way to organize your free time. I myself took a break from this website for quite some time, I think almost a year before starting to visit it again on a regular basis. You can do the same if you feel you have to.    
  8. Yes Alexander I just recently sent you a reply check your inbox.
  9. Having a job as a normal person is tough enough as it is you have to deal with people you probably fucking hate bosses you fucking despise and just being a generally fucked up environment because Duh its Work. I'm 22 years old and have already been fired from multiple jobs. From a wide range of industries including fast food, factories, landscaping, and I was even fired from basic combat fucking training for the US Army this summer. I'm not even kidding about that last part. You see my problem is that by some miracle I was able to get my high school diploma but ever since then I just couldn't handle anywhere I've gotten a job because the people have always forced me to quit. Due to my low self confidence, as a result I have been stuck in this cycle for around three and a half years now. How the fuck, do you people continue going to what most likely is you're fucked up job because let's face it who the fuck likes going to work. The sad part is I need around an estimated 10 - $20,000 for a variety of facial procedures, that I am convinced is the only way I will ever look remotely normal and finally be able to just be a fucking human being. But as mentioned earlier I have been unable to save up any money for any of my procedures, due to always being fired for poor attendance. How in the fuck am I ever going to break this cycle, if my one and only way of achieving my goals blocked by my own lack of self confidence. You have to understand, I have been dealing with not only bad acne but bad facial bone structure for ten long years.  My family isn't exactly rich and cannot afford to help me deal with these expensive problems. So can someone, anyone tell me how the hell can I get out of this cycle. I'm convinced that all I have to do to move on with my life, is get these plastic surgery procedures done and that is all I'll have to do in order to get my life back. Even though I never really even had a life at least not like the ones most people are used to. For anyone on these forums, that think I'm bullshitting. Private message me, and I will send you pictures of my face just so that you can see I am fucked until I get the shit that I need done. 
  10. I believe they are real world consequences for those that are unable to fit into a certain "role". Look up lookism no pun intended and youll see that based on what you look like it really can either aid or prevent a persons life from going a  certain direction.  Good looking people get all the breaks, they get better jobs, make more money, are viewed as more inteligent ,are perceived as more trust worthy. They get all the encouragement in the world by there peers, they have great relationships with people they know and even complete strangers seem to want to be thier friend. All of this i believe has been brought on by decades of brainwashing by the media that continues today, as well as the primitive nature of the human mind. I dont care what you say people are dumb animals and i believe that what has happened to american culture is simply a case of monkey see monkey do. For decades we have been programed to think that attractive people are always the one to root for, the ones to aspire to, the ones to want to imitate. Americans live in there own bubble, the population has become a shadow of its former self.  The reason for all of this is simple, money. To scam all the stupid fools into giving billionairs more of thier money. You make a person feel bad about themselves and convince them into thinking that the only way they will feel better is if you buy thier bull shit product. What has happened to american culture is simple, it has bin sold to the highest bidder.  The end rusult of it all is people like me, "ugly" people getting all the negative force from this self absorbed society i live in. this is most evident with americas youth population, pretty much since you start school as a child you are lead to think that the only way to be happy is to make friends and the only way to do that is to fit in, to conform, and looking the part is the most basic tool for having positive interactions with the people around you. This continues for the rest of your life. Ask a person that use to look normal and that has since been in some accident resulting in facial deformation, ask them how their life has changed since then. I guarantee you, every single person will tell you the life they use to have is night and day to the one they have now. People, the hard truth is humans and its societies have not yet evolved to an advanced enogh state to where people like me can be helped sufficiently. What i mean by that is, the tools necessary for such a transformation has not yet been invented and until it is. You will always have people like me, the folks that slip through the cracks. The best i can hope for is to save up my money to get plastic surgery touch ups here and there, but thats about all i can do for now. I cant mold my face into a handsome man, i cant change my voice, my eyes, my genetics, all of this is yet to be unlocked by advanced sophisticated technology.  Due to the way technology evolves i believe i may be able to do the things i mentioned above within my lifetime. Remember technology as we know it has only been around for a few decades, and look at the impact it has already had on humanity. in all honesty, ive placed all my bets on this idea. The idea that some day technology will be able to give me everything i have hoped for that nature failed me on. Its personally my biggest reason for having a positive outlook on the future.  Let me finish off by giving you an example as to how i believe technology will have an enormous impact on my life as well as yours. I'll just be completely honest here and say i think i wont need people in the future to have a since of happiness and joy. What i mean by this is that if i want to have an experiance that is unlikly to happen in the real world, i will be able to simply experiance it in a differant way... how? Virtual reality, this technology is finally getting ready to make its debut after decades of trail and error. Over time this new tech will get improve, the people you meet will seem more realistic, the enviornment will look more lifelike, and the experiances enabled by vr will become more and more convincing to your mind. Until one day, i believe it may even become prefrable to the "real world". But in the mean time, it will become humanitys greatist tool. Think about it, the reason we are currently disatified with our quality of life, is because we wish to know what it feels like to be normal for a change. Well, vr is a piece of technology that will allow you to feel such a thing and so much more. Its ideas like this that keep me on the optimistic side for the coming years ahead of us and i hope i may have givin you that same feeling here today. Make no mistake we are living in an amazing era in human history, no other time before right now whould you be able to see before your very eyes the transformation of human culture in the way i believe its going to happen.
  11. You didnt do anything to deserve acne, its just the way your genes are. Its not your fault and its ok that you feel the way you do, humans are emotional creatures that need some form of affection to feel happy. Give the meds time, you have a great chance of getting clear with accutane. Just be carefull with it and listen to what your doctor says. its going to be ok, dont go rushing the inevitable alright. Try to focus on other things that make you happy in the mean time, find a hobby or discover a new passion for something. Anything that you feel will give you some sort of fulfillment in your life while you sort out the issues with your acne. Afterwards you can focus more on boys and relationships, in the mean time relax and be a kid... your only 16 afterall.
  12.   Thanks for the reply and for including me in your thoughts, Appreciate it.
  13. So this is pretty much what im trying to do...
  14.   Yes i too asked god to help me with my face and of course it never answered my call for help. As an athiest i believe the voice in your head to be nothing more then the conscious  representation of your mind. No mind, no voice in your head and no feeling of a "soul". The brain is a powerful thing, its imagination seems endless. Im sure someone thought of the idea of a soul a long time ago and other people simply accepted it as fact. Well im sorry but im the kind of person that needs proof otherwise, ill start to think crazy ideas are true... i just wish people would cut the crap already and move on from primitive ideas made thousands of years ago. 
  15. Ive been one now for about two years. I suppose the older you get the better you are at spotting bull crap. tbh, in this internet age anyone can go off in search of the truth. I hate when great achivements of man are simply chalked up to being "gods work/will". Naturally being an american i fell like im surounded by superstitious fools seeing as there seems to be a church in every town here in america. Sadly it will probably take another 1000 years before religion to stop being a part of humanity. Acne has been the big reason why i became athiest and im sure im not the only one.
  16.   Oh wow since 03? Man thats a while, ive only been here since 2010 on my jr year of high school... time flys ey? Anyways, even though i havent been here on the org as long as you i have still gotten to see many of the posts from years ago due to it all being archived and i have to say its really interesting exploring some of those posts. I almost fell like a time travler going back to see how those people where feeling at that time. I too wonder what ever happened to some of them, i suppose its a combination of all the reasons you mentioned. Personally, i like to think they sorted it out for the better...
  17. How old are you, why have you givin up on treating your acne? Now... while it is true we have been dealt a less then ideal hand in life, you have to look at the big picture. through out human civilization millions maybe even billions have had to  deal with extream hardships in one way or another. Unfortunatly, some just deal with it more then others and some... well they never have to deal with much harship at all. Thats just how life on this planet/universe goes man and i know first hand how bitter that feels. Knowing that they are people out there that live carefree lives while we have had to deal with so much, it just isnt fair is it? My friend, life is almost never fair.... everyday can be you last for any number of reasons. We both know pretty people are mostly liked for thier looks and i can guarantee you most of the time if not ALL of the time, thats the only reason they are liked. How do i know? Well for the same reason why im hated for my own looks. Personnaly i hate the idea of being liked for just that, im a loner and hate dealing with people. Good looking people are always so pressured to do best in life.. that can get overwhelming dont you think?  We are living in one of the most interesting times in human history, not to mention the safest too dispite what fox news tells you. Any other time before now and we would probably a. Died over some bull shit meaningless war or b.have been segregated due to our looks. On top of that, many people never get a chance to even live long enough to feel bad about how they look man, so cheer up it could be so much worse.
  18. Hi guys, unfortunatly i havent been able to get any solid advice for this particular thread. So im reviving it, in hopes of some responces. If you know anything about economics, hmu. Im just trying to fund my dreams here.... im convinced that my quality of life will NEVER improve in this society unless i can force myself to become more pleasing to look at and the ONLY way thats going to happen for me is by getting plastic surgury done as well as treating my acne scars.   Guys i'll be compleatly honest, im desperate. Just imagine that after dealing with extreamly bad acne for half your life, you come to find out that your unattractive even without the fucking acne. Now ive estimated that between both the acne scar treatment and plastic surgury im going to need between 15-30 THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!! Im 22, dont have any savings and have a bad job history due to my low self confidance, due to my fucking face looking the way it does! It all adds upon itself to become a self fufilling prophecy.  I already feel like ive failed at life, due to not being able to be an independent adult at my age and we all know what path im heading down if i continue to do nothing. I'll be in the same situation or worse ten years from now due to never being able to adjust into the adult world. please guys, if you know of ANY way at all that i may be able to fund myself you must tell me. At this point its all i care about and although 30$k sounds a lot to me i know its not impossible... i mean people borrow that amount for a new car dont they? So, why cant i borrow that same amount for something much MUCH more important that some fucking car!    You guys dont know how important this is to me, it is litterally the ONLY reason i even have any hope left for a relatively normal life. Im convinced that once i "fix" my face enough to not look out of place in a crowd, ill finally be able to live the way i want to much easier. If you people only knew all the bull shit ive had to go through due to being too poor to do anything about it. Im stuck in a unforgiving cycle, where i cant move on with my life untill i do this first vital step to better my quality of life. Im dedicating my life to chasing after my happiness and for me, this is one of the many ways i plan on finding it. My resolve isnt the problem but still it aint easy man, when it feels like the entire world hates you. I mean, in the ten years ive had my acne/scars i can say this much for sure.... PEOPLE DONT LIKE ME! Its not because of something ive done, not because of my personality, not for any other reason then for the way i look. I know ive been dealt a bull shit hand, but i also know that at least i have a chance to fix my life and redeem myself. Please, if you know of any way to help me do so. 
  19. Sup guys, been a while since ive posted here on the org. Glad to see this community again. Some of you may even recognize me, but anyway. So, after 10 years of dealing with acne and its scars ive decided i want to get a personal loan of anywhere between 15 to 30k to help me deal with my acne scars aswell as to get a few other things done. I was wondering if anyone could give me any advice regarding how i can go about in getting aprroved for a personal loan of that amount. So far i only have one credit card from capitol one and there app says i have a 696 credit score. How long do you think it will take me to get the score/history i need to get approved from a bank? I consider this "plan" a crutial steping stone to imroving my quality of life, as such im in a hurry to find the fastest way possible to fund myself. Any advice whould be great thanks   I myself have only thought of 2 ways so far. 1.get a studdent loan and just spend the amount i need or 2. Get a laon on a new car and eventually sell it once i pay it off to fund everything at once. What do you guy think about those two ideas? Are they a realistic solution for me?
  20. I totally agree and would support this movement. Actually ive been doing some research on ssi and have in more then a few occations wanted to apply for it seeing as i cant keep any of the jobs i get due to low self conffidance and having to deal with my acne/scars alone for the last 10 years. Thats half of my life dealing with this shit.... im 22, i got my first zits at 12 1/2.  Say, if by any chance you want to give me some advice on how i may be able to get on ssi im all ears. All i know is that having any $ coming in is better then none... even if it is by the government hands. I've tried and failed many factory/warehouse jobs, fast food, lanscaping, all shifts, all kinds of hours but still i always lose my jobs usually do to being late, missing days or simply just being told im getting let go. Hell, i was even a private in the us army this summer and yes i failed that too due to an injury.    When i was younger i was able to get my hs diploma but that was different, because in school i could get away with a lot and just make up for it all durring summer school. But as many of you know, jobs are far from being like that. You cant just fall asleep with your head down in 3/4 of your classes and just copy some random person for the grade. Work requires a level of phisical and mental awareness that i just cant keep up for long.