The Psychology of a Sufferer

The worst thing for an acne sufferer is to receive advice on how to clear skin. It is more hurtful than mean jokes by friends, more irritating than remarks by kids. Whether the advice comes from your best friend, your mom, or a stranger--you don't want to hear it. That someone noticed your acne and then offers you advice is irritating on three levels. One, their advice suggests that your acne is noticeable. Two, it suggests that people don't accept you the way you are. Three, it suggests that you have not tried your best to clear your skin.

1. Your acne is noticeable.

Acne sufferers look in the mirror every day, if not every minute. So the fact that their acne is noticeable should neither bother nor surprise them. But it does. Why? The way to conquer acne is forgetting about that you have it. Forgetting is the most effective form of acceptance. And we do forget at times. And we do have a great time. In those rare moments we think to ourselves "perhaps my acne isn't noticeable after all." In those rare moments we are free. Acne advice puts back the chains. It seems to say, " Yes, your acne is noticeable and I want you to do something about it." In fact, many acne sufferers are so self-conscious about their skin--they want to be normal so badly-- that they'd rather have people ignore their skin than compliment it.

2. People don't accept you the way you are.

Many people who give acne advice accept you for who you are. But why does it feel like they don't? The reason is this. For chronic acne sufferers, acne is not only a sensitive subject. It is like an ugly and visible birthmark. Something that everyone, including yourself, comes to accept and embrace. At least that's what you thought. When someone suddenly suggests ways to remove the birthmark, it's more than attack on the birthmark. It's an attack on you. Such is the case with acne. Why do you want to change something about me, a part of me, that I thought you accepted for the longest time?

3. You have not tried your best to clear your skin.

We all know this. We tried everything for goodness sakes!


So when you see an acne sufferer having a great time, don't give her advice. Let her be in that beautiful moment of forgetfulness. Pretend that you don't see her acne. In that way she will feel free and accepted. In that way she will feel that she has tried her best.

I finally realized why acne frustrates

The reason why acne frustrated us, has us banging on the table in helplessness, has us grinding our teeth, creates in us so much negativity--the reason is the following:

acne makes us feel absolutely inconsistent. This inconsistency is the source of frustration.

-You feel so healthy. You feel great. You may be a great athlete, in the best shape of your life. But you look like you got in a bar fight. You don't look healthy. The inconsistency between your appearance and how you feel annoys you.

-You pretend to other people that you skin doesn't bother you. You don't want others to know that something "superficial" bothers you so much. So you hold your head high. You pretend that acne doesn't mean anything to you. Just a few spots right? But inside, you are burning: you hate your acne so much, it's the worst thing in the world. Intellectually, rationally, acne is not a problem. But emotionally, it's kind of a big deal.

- You honestly believe acne is not a problem for_other_people. You don't think that girl is not hot because she has a few spots. You don't think your mates are any less for having acne. But when it comes to yourself, you have double standards: it_does_matter. These double standards make you feel extremely vulnerable.

-You wake up everyday, expecting a fresh beginning. But these expectations are challenged by the marks and scars of yesterday. You want to start a new, but how can you start anew with so many reminders of the past?

-You have so many things you want to do. That you know you can achieve. But acne is holding you back. But is acne holding you back or are you holding yourself back? These conflicting feelings will piss you off like no other.

-When you were smaller, you had so many images of life would be like in your teens, in your early adulthood. None of those images had acne in them. Especially acne that prevents you from doing so many things.

-You think you are not superficial. You never cared about your looks that much. Not like you used to indulge yourself in front of the mirror for hours. As long as you were normal, things were fine. But acne is a test of how superficial you really are--which you always fail.. In the end, you realize: Yes, I am superficial, and yes, looks are important to my self-esteem. But even if you find this out about yourself, you are constantly convincing yourself otherwise.

-you can never be honest with anyone. When you are in a bad mood about your acne, you are too embarassed to admit your problems. So you attribute it to something else.

-You know so much about acne. A walking encyclopedia. You know the right treatments, the right diet, the right attitude, the prices of all the cleansers and shit. But at the end of the day, your skin is worse than people who wash with water. Your knowledge is useless. There's another inconsistency.

-you want others pity, to know your problem, but at the same time, you don't want anyone's pity. Acne has not crushed your ego completely. You still want to be seen by others has perfect, without problems. So you don't want peoples' sympathy, and yet you do.....

At the end of the day, it's the dishonesty and inconsistency that acne causes that makes you frustrated and pissed off and hate acne so much.

The best way to not be bothered by acne is to become consistent: admit to others about your problem, be honest with yourself. Admit to yourself that YES, acne are just little spots, but they fuckin annoy the hell out of me. Yes, I am pretty superficial and my appearance means the world to me.

Are you scared of admitting those things? I am. That's why I will never get over acne and its psychological effects.

-

I LITERALLY LOLED

From Pubmed:

Is acne really a disease?: a theory of acne as an evolutionarily significant, high-order psychoneuroimmune interaction timed to cortical development with a crucial role in mate choice.

Adolescent acne is considered from the perspective of evolutionary psychology with an emphasis on a role in mate choice. The fact that acne, which is almost universal and not a true infection, is (1) initiated at puberty by the action of pubertal hormones on likely distinct, pro-acne follices, and (2) typically resolves in one's early twenties when prefrontal cortex development is complete, suggests that the condition's timeframe is meaningful. Acne's conspicuous localization on the face, and its ability to elicit reflexive disgust and avoidance in observers, suggests a possible role in sexual selection. The pathophysiology of acne is reviewed, and the suggestion made that, far from being a disease, adolescent acne is a normal physiological process - a high-order psychoneuroimmune interaction - that functions to ward off potential mates until the afflicted individual is some years past the age of reproductive maturity, and thus emotionally, intellectually, and physically fit to be a parent.

receding hairline...veg

First off, I have nothing against veganism or vegetarianism. Though I could never practice those types of eating styles (I eat rather casually and flexibly these days), I respect the practices for their attention to ethics and I recognize the benefits of eating fruits and vegetables (to an extent).

But one thing that I must say I have noticed is that many of the vegetarians I know and the vegetarian gurus share one thing in common: a dramatically receding hairline. To throw some names out there that people might recognize

1. Dr. Fuhrman- look at his recent videos. He almost has no hair. There is a distinct bald spot on his head lately.
2. Douglas Graham- the fruitarian guy. He hardly has any hair any more. Like Dr. Fuhrman, he does the pullback with gel, but the hair is sparse.
3. John Robbins- Obvious receding hairline.

I just threw these names out there not to vilify these gurus, but these are the bigs names, and I can't help but notice this distinct trend. Do you guys know of any possible reasons why these guys are all balding? It's true that vegetarians get less protein and Dr. Fuhrman in fact says thats A GOOD THING, and that most americans get too much animal protein. But if you look at Dr. Perricone, he has a full head of air on his salmon diet. I know genetics play a role, but I've observed this in quite of few of my vegan friends also--and they are quite young!

Anybody have any suggestions as to why this might occur?

Encourage

I encourage anyone chained by dietary restrictions, confused by nutritional guidelines, suffering both needless physical and mental annoyance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBr_i1mH_08

Fast forward to 10 minutes when the man begins to talk. I think many of you have read this book. But for those who haven't, this will really change how you think. He's not an expert, but he's a good writer who has done his homework I think. The last 20 minutes applies best to the issues and anxieties in this forum, I believe.