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  1. Wow... 4 months in.... and still not a whole lot of improvement. You could almost say that my acne is worse than when I started. And hey, maybe it WILL all clear up at the end of this process but I've said it once and I'll say it again: this process sucks 


    Because things around here have been so hectic lately I keep forgetting to write in my accutane journal but again, not much has happened. No new side effects, not really any new acne -- just old acne getting worse. There seems to be a few cystic heads popping up on my back so those are super unpleasant when sleeping or leaning back against chairs. My face has been beet red most days (no, I haven't been in the sun enough for it to be sunburn or windburn) and sensitive to the stupidest of things like water and air. Splash water on it for 2 seconds and it starts to sting a little and get uncomfortable. Even just when I have moisturizer on it still hurts just a little, especially if I feel wind or random gusts of air from fans or whatever. I've tried switching moisturizers or laying off of the face washing a little and not a thing seems to be helping. Maybe it's time to bring back out that honey/milk/salt mask again. 

    So, I was thinking about my dosage the other day and my persistent acne. Might it be possible that this is another "initial break out"? I had one when I started the 40mg, I had another when I started the 80mg, and now I'm back down to 40mg so I don't know, but it's just a thought. But it gives me hope that it will eventually go away. 


    So that's all for this week. I have bloodwork on Tuesday and then my derm appointment on Thursday so I'll let you know how those go. Fingers crossed that they let me return to my higher dosage! 

  2. HEY GUYS. 

    This is my first, of I'm sure many, blog posts about my journey with Accutane. Like most of you, I've had stubborn acne on and off for the last few years and it just recently become a huge downer. SO, I took to the dermatologist to get the tough stuff, and tough stuff he gave. I only ever break out on my chin, but the last 6-8 months it just became unbearable. 

    I've been on 40 MG of Accutane for 15 days now. This past week I had a brutal break out (3-4 cysts on my chin) that seems to be calming down now after a few kenalog injections. I haven't really had any side effects other that dry lips (like insanely, don't plan on eating salt every again, dry) and I'm really tired (but that could be from my late night Gilmore Girls marathons -- who knows, really!?). I will say that last week my skin was really oily, like REALLY oily for someone who doesn't even have oily skin. I guess that's why I had such a major break out this week?

    The skin on my body has been a little dry but I also live in Toronto where it's been pretty chilly lately. 

    One day I'll upload pictures. I just feel too gross right now :(

    I hope someone finds this blog and can identify! You know what they say, accutane friends are friends for life ;) 

    BYE GUYS. 

  3. my skin is doing very well. i got somewhat of a breakout of 3 pimples (one beside my chin and two on my right jaw), but they're almost healed so it's no big deal. 

    what is bothering me is some PIH on my right cheek. i had a minor breakout of whiteheads on it at the end of october or beginning of this month, i can't really remember. whiteheads for me leave the worst PIH and they are taking forEVER to fade. i really hope it just goes away. if i didn't have that, my skin would look amazing. :( 

    it's pretty cool to rarely get a pimple, though. maybe 2 or 3 small ones a week? if that? ugggggggh just fuck off PIH already, though 

  4. Latest Entry

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone. In spite of my hideous face, I'm thankful for my family, my new apartment and my boyfriend. :) 




  5. Hi, I'm on my second course of Accutane. Started on 15 July 2015, my first course ended in July 2013. I'm four months in and don't know when my course will end. I'll be seeing my Derm on the 4 Dec, I'll ask her.

    I went back to my GP as soon after finishing my first course the oil came back and then so did the spots. I was told to wait a year, if my spots came back. I was given retain a gel, which didn't really do anything. But I gave it time to work. I asked for a referral to the Derm, which I got.

    The Derm just gave me the prescription straight away, after making sure I wasn't pregnant and I did a blood test. I was given 40mg a day for the first month then went up to 50mg. 

    I had a break, a week in, as I had to have emergency surgery (gall bladder removed) missed 3 weeks. I started again, I noticed dry lips, slight skin peeling and itchy scalp when I was on 40mg.

    After starting 50mg my side effects were worse, I had really bad sore red eyes which had puss in them (still get puss) crusted over eyes in the morning, not now though. Seriously itchy dry scalp ( I was scratching my head like I had lice!) The dry itchy scalp has calmed down and mild hair loss.

    The hair loss was mild now it's bad. I've lost about one quarter of my hair, it's very noticeable. I wake up with an achey lower back and had kidney or liver pain (upper right side of my back) the upper back pain isn't noticeable now. I still have dry lips and I get headaches, every day. 

    My skin though is good, dry, no oil and only very small spots. Only noticeable to me, I'm not worried about them.  

    I got a few compliments about my skin, that made me feel good! My concern is how will my skin be when I finish my second course and how will my overall health and hair be? I guess I'll have to wait and see. 

    Feel free to ask questions or share your experiences of second courses. I look forward to reading them. :-)





  6. Day 52, 4 days til my second monthly dermatogoly appointment.

    Ok, so now the inside of my right nostril is dry as heck it is quite irratining and a little senstive unpleasent, ive tried the vaseline up the nose trick, but it is a very temporary soothing. It is a hard sympton to get on top of and i have had a few nose bleeds. It is very livable though and a lot of my little pimples that covered the nice skin of my forehead have disappeared.

    Still geting a few under the skin big spots, which take about a week to come to surface, they last ages! Few spots round my eyebrows not great. Blackheads on nose seem very visible and dont want to use a nose strip!

    The corners of my eyes have literally started to get dry and sore, do not rub!! elizabath arden 8 hour cream is my savour every night! so good for extra dry area like elbows too (non accutane).


    Still doing my same skin routine, might start face moisturising more instead of morning and night, maybe wack an afternoon moisture in my regime! I can tell its getting slightly drier so im going for prevention still.

    I hope my derm doesnt up my dose again, although he said the soon i up the sooner im done and we will be looking more like 4 months than 6 if all goes well!

    I have gone from 1 month 40mg to then next month 70mg my bets im going up to 80mg!! Kind off want to stay on 70mg i dont want to have disgusting skin over christmas!


    Decided now though nights out = lip balm not lipstick! lip gloss is a yes at a push, these dry lips are so annoying constant lip balm, i never thought it would be that necessary but it really is! It is liveable for 4-6 months though :)

    Although im complaining loads, nothing is actually that bad so far, skin is the clearest ina long time. My main concern was dry skin and having peeling skin all the time, but so far so good i hope it stays this way because otherwise ill end up hermitting for 3 months!


    Also thanks to all the readers like its nice to know people are looking at this and im not just typing like a loon! If anyone has any stories or comments about there current/previous/upcoming experiences comment! 

  7. Well, it's been almost a week and dove soap is not what it used to be. I don't know what is changed in the last two years, but I seem to react to it over a very short time. It appears to be very drying and irritating.

    there's also the issue with the water in my apartment. It's not good, and I need something that's going to combat that. I've settled on Spectro jel because I was informed by a pharmacist (I know, not a dermatologist but somebody with some knowledge of chemistry) that spectro has ingredients that help combat the harshness of hard water and Chelate minerals from the skin. I won't be using the kind for blemish prone skin because I don't have acne. I will using the one for combination skin, in conjunction with the Toleraine  fluid and we'll see how that goes.

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    Recent Entries

    Latest Entry

    You never have to be alone. Even if you think that there is not one soul who cares about you, I PROMISE you there is. I will prove that to you by letting myself be that one person who cares.

    This blog post is entirely dedicated to YOU and your questions. Comment a question or a comment, anything you would like to vent or say to me. I will do my best to answer your question, give you words of encouragement, or simply thank you for commenting and taking the time to read my blog.

    I know what it feels like to feel lonely and I don’t want anyone to have to deal with that for an extended period of time. Never give up. Keep on being positive. You are way better than you think you are.

    These can be questions or comments about your struggles with acne, or just simply your struggles in life. Let this blog post serve as a safe haven for you.

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    Hello everyone my name is Emma, and I'm new here. Just started the regimen yesterday, I don't think this will work but I have heard so much about it I had to give it a try.... I have tried so many products before, I think I have tried everying, I really wants this to work, I can't stand looking at my face anymore.....I want to be a cabin crew for British Airways, but they will never hire my with acne all over my face, I'm just scared that I'll be like this my whole life.......

    I don't expect anyone to answer back, but if someone does it would be nice to now that it has worked for someone

    thanks enjoy your evening 

  8. Latest Entry

    So, it snowed for the first time this past weekend. My apartment is crazy hot because I have no idea how to control the heaters. I also wake up feeling really thirsty and like my skin is hella dry.  I really wish I could control these heaters but they're automatic. -___- I just have my windows open all the time now. I can feel the moisture from outside. I know not even CeraVe will combat these damn heaters, and my humidifier is too small to take on such moisture sapping heaters. We'll see what this winter brings. Clear for the time being...

  9. Hello everyone!

    I thought I would post a quick update. As for side effects my lips have been getting dry, but with aquaphore they are manageable. My face is greasier than normal and I can tell that the clogged pores around the chin crease area are starting to appear bigger and look like little balls under the skin, if that makes sense. I think the skin is trying to push them towards the surface. The worst side effect is my back pain. I have been sitting a lot lately because of the amount of schoolwork that I have been doing this week, so I feel like my hips, knees, and lower back hurt more than normal. The lower back pain is on the left side and it is a sharp searing pain. I remember this same pain from when I was on the high school dance team and just associated it with an injury. Now I think it is the same pain cause from the accutane both times (I did a round of accutane in high school). I am not sure if its too early to start feeling the aches and pains though...

    Comment if you experience the same sharp back pain! Meanwhile, Wisconsin had its first snowfall so I am trying to combat the dry cold air with lots of cetaphil and coconut oil. 

    Lots of Love



  10. Diet:
    I'm doing alright with my diet, although I went a little over my calories today. I'm still vegetarian, of course, and have completely removed dairy from the equation. Just eggs in the morning.

    I chose snow peas and hummus over a whole bag of popcorn so I'm really pleased about that.

    Today I ate:
    -English Muffin
    -Scrambled eggs


    -Veggie straws

    -Starbucks soy chai latte (oops...this was a slip-up, but I went to get my hair trimmed-- it's a pixie, so I do that a lot-- and starbucks was RIGHT there, and my boyfriend wanted Bad excuses)

    -Snow peas

    Today was an off-day for the gym, which is okay because I needed it after getting some stressful/bad news earlier.

    As for the zit that I decided to pick at yesterday...It came to a head by the end of the day today (HALLELUJAH) and I popped it, easily. Hardly any pressure at all needed. So, that was a good thing. After I messed with it last night, I put on some Origins Skin Renew sample that I had (it ended up making my neck red and itchy..) and then some aloe mask that I have. I think this helped because usually my under-the-skin zits don't come to a head easily at all. 

    Now I have a sephora fiber mask on my face-- Honey and something. It's for moisturizing and soothing because the Origins stuff made my skin tight.

    Here's a cute picture!


  11. So I beieve tomorrow will be week the start of week 16 of using Differin.

    I just want to say that I HATE my skin right now. I am very stressed with uni work currently though so I don't think that helps. 

    Last month I took the morning after pill, which I'm not exactly proud of. I seriously noticed my skin deteriorate a lot the following weeks after that. Thing is... things started clearing up well like last week I felt okay with my skin it wasn't 'too bad'.

     But this week it's just shit. I started swimming again more often than normal and I wonder if that's playing a part. So I'm going to stop the swimming atm which kinda sucks :/


    Still using differin roughly every second evening but I did go about 3 or 4 evenings of not taking it. I keep thinking about trying retin A? Would that seriously affect me in a negative way do you think? Like will it make me purge again etc? And make things worse?

    I'm waiting till week 20 and then going back to the docs. Still want to try accutane but we'll see.



  12. So I'm into my third week and before this, I hadn't noticed any huge changes in my skin besides it getting extremely oily, and I actually thought it was looking a little better. But I always knew the initial breakout would come and now it's here. I have huuuge pimples on each side of my cheeks, jawline, and chin. I was never one to get blackheads but now I have a ton on/around my nose, upper lip, and chin. The texture of my face feels terrible, really bumpy almost like sandpaper. That's definitely an overstatement but I'm not really sure how else to describe it. My lips are also really starting to peel but I was expecting that.

    Today, my mom looked at my skin and goes "wow you're really starting to break out." Ummm HELLO you think that I don't notice?! It's literally all I see when I look at myself and I spend forever analyzing my skin in the mirror. I think it's probably her way of showing encouragement like "oh look it's definitely starting to work" but pointing everything out is not helping at all.

    I'm really hoping that this breakout doesn't last much longer than a few weeks, mostly because I don't want excessive scarring associated with it. I've always been one to reschedule dates and such if I'm having a bad skin week, but now looking back, my skin was never in the condition it is now. I have a couple dates coming up and I will most definitely be flaking on them if my skin continues to look this way.

    I'm trying to keep my head up cause everyone says it's worth it in the end but I just want to fast-forward these next few months!!

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    The Worries
         I am writing this to log my life after taking Accutane and the gradual return of acne on my body and the side effects that I am living with. After I stopped my course in September of 2015, I was nearly clear of all acne. Two months later, it is making a gradual return. It is not on my back at all right now, aside from one on the side of my chest, but, for the most part, it is red lumps on my chest. I'm extremely worried that it is going to make a vengeful return, but I am doing what I can to stop that. They are painful, one is right underneath of my nipple and it hurts like a bitch. I did begin dating someone shortly after my Accutane course was up and he has been a big help in getting my self-esteem back up. I have confided into him that I think it is coming back and he just tells me that he has never cared about what my skin looks like and that it doesn't matter. That's helpful, but I still need to take care of it. I cannot live a life of secretly hating myself for something that I cannot help. 
    The Side Effects After
         There are only a few side effects that I know for a fact stem from the Accutane. For one, my eyes are SO sensitive. I hate being in bright rooms and I prefer my rooms to be dark. It hurts to wake up in the morning and shower since my eyes haven't had time to get accustomed to the light. I usually shower in the dark or leave the hall light on with my door open so it's a dimmer light shining in. Secondly, my lips. My lips are still feeling the effects of Accutane and I don't think that is going to go away. I feel like they have been ruined and I will have to apply lip balm every day for the rest of my life. Something else I've noticed (and kind of don't want to talk about) is my irregular bowel movements and excessive diarrhea. I know, gross topic, but I really feel like the Accutane has messed with the insides of my body. I frequently get diarrhea now, something that was never problematic in the past, and now my bowel movements are so irregular. Sometimes I feel like I have to go ALL DAY. It's frustrating, and something I never felt before. For the final thing, I feel like it has messed with my brain. I get super depressed easily now, and I feel like I'm an angrier person after taking Accutane. Now, I don't know if this is because of the tane, but I do have to say I didn't feel like this before. With all of these side effects I am feeling, I would still recommend Accutane to somebody. It did clear up my cystic acne on my back and I've never felt better. I just need to work out the rest of my body acne.
    Thank you to anyone who reads any of my blog posts. I try my best to keep adding to them since I have realized that not many people suffer from the type of acne that I have. Please message me for any questions or comments, or if you feel the need to talk to someone who can relate to having body acne. 
  13. Latest Entry

    The blogs are getting few and far between but I am forever present on this website.
    I'm still using my same routine of benzoyl peroxide in the morning and differin at night. 
    And guys... I am still clear. Like scary clear. Even after 2 courses of roaccutane I wasn't this clear so please please please don't give up just because accutane hasn't worked for you!

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    So I made an appointment with a dermatologist today! A friend recommended Dermatology Associated of Oak Ridge so I called today and have a consultation on the 30th. Even though my gyno prescribed Spiro to me, I think a professional will be able to look at my skin and give me some more advise. I'm super excited and hoping that I like the PA I'm seeing. Fingers crossed! 

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    So my freshman year of college I decided after years of having persistent acne I was going to go on accutane. It honestly was not as bad as i expected. I have had CONSTANT chest acne for years. To the point that I had not worn a shirt that showed my chest in about two years. After a month of accutane my chest was completely clear, I had no initial break out on my face, and I had no serious side effects. I even drank alcohol pretty regularly on it and nothing bad ever happened to me. But the last month of my treatment I started to break out, and my chest slowly started getting clogged pores and I just knew that I was going to break out once i was off.

    As I expected about two months after being off, my chest broke out like crazy. My face went back to being insanely oily, and my forehead broke out in tiny little pimples. Just this past week I got my first few real pimples since being off accutane. I am extremely angry that I am going to have to do another round. I have an appointment in December with ym derm to get the ball rolling again. Im doing this so i can compare this round to my last round, and here is to hoping that it goes by as smoothly as my first round did.

  15. Latest Entry

    Ugh when will it end? Still breaking out. I have the same ones that I started with on my chin that feel like they're taking centuries to heal and go away, I got 3 on the side of my cheek, and 3 that were small bumps become big on my forehead, and then there's one under my freaking left eye that is ridiculous. It has so much pressure and just feels like a big lump of water. I can see it! It's like obsuring my vision hahaha it looks like I got punched in my eye to be honest. I'm sure it doesn't actually look as bad as it feels but the placement is just ridiculous and it's really big. I can't stop popping either! I'm serious after today I'm not gonna mess with them anymore except for using a wash cloth in the shower to lightly exfoliate all the dry skin off so I can wear makeup and not feel as much of a mess. I'm praying for the day when my face is clear. Dear goodness I hope it comes. Also my throat randomly got really sore in a matter of a few hours. Kind of weird.

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    The clear up game is real. Haven't had any new big breakouts for a week now, just small whiteheads here and there. Red marks are slowly going away, but my face definitely looks more presentable now.

  16. I enjoyed making my "every acne treatment video" but it was painful to see the ways I harmed my skin by believing anyone on the internet saying "this is a miracle cure" when really it was just an awful idea. This was the one treatment I didn't include in that video:  

    I figured this one deserved it's own video because of how silly it was! Who knows, maybe this really has worked for some people but it did nothing for me but embarrass me! Also, check the description of the video - I found a great article on why this treatment may sound helpful but actually isn't. 

  17. When i got into grade 9, my skin started to become oily and i got many pimples on my forehead, thinking this was a passing thing i didn't really think much of it, until they started multiplying and staying for weeks and months! I decided that I would go back to my skin routine before my acne started, which was simply washing every night with water and wiping with a face washer. To be honest, this did not make my skin worse nor better over the course of the weeks i was doing this. I decided i would try the simple supermarket Clearsil etc. This did nothing to my skin whatsoever!

    After about 15 more hopeless products tried i decided benzyl peroxide would do something. I was really at my wits end with oily skin and low-self esteem.I used the benzac 5% cream and the foaming face wash, did nothing except make my face dry for 2 hours after washing then an oil slick throuought the day. I read that it ages your skin 10 years in the course of a year, so I stopped using it and had nowhere to go now.

    My Mom bought me home some testers which a sales-woman at Aesop had prescribed for my Mom to give to me after her explaining the state my skin was in. It included the Amazing Face Cleanser, Anti-Blemish Chamomile Concerntrate Masque, Oil-Free Facial Hydrating Serum and a Lactic Acid facial scrub. These worked wonders on my face so my Mo  returned to buy me the full-sized bottles. I wash every morning with the Aesop range and every night with just a splash of water, and my face has never looked better! It glows too which really adds to the clear complexion I have achieved too.

    I use the Cleanser in between days of a masque and scrub. Monday cleanser, tuedsay cleanser and masque, wednesday cleanser, thurdsay scrub, friday cleanser etc. and moisturising every time i use a product in the morning. the masque is amazing and feels like I am rubbing chocolate mousse onto my face, and only has to sit for 10 minutes! The scrub leaves my sin feeling baby soft and they all smell amazing! I love the 4 products I have from Aesop, i now have 95% clear skin and love it!

    I 100% reccommend it for anyone. Comment below for additional information. :) 

  18. image.thumb.jpeg.64989544805065c41148c70Im on the sugar pills of Month 4 and halfway till my 2nd month of spiro. The weather isnt deadly hot now so Idk if its because of that or the spiro but I really havent been as oily. All my pimples are still just on my chin and got two in each side of smiling lines this month. A few things have changed:

    ive started beauty school where my teacher has got me doing "high frequency" treatment with this device. Im on day 4 and havent had any huge cysts, just small ones. Idk if its from that or because of my menstral cycle or the products im using or what. I have the largest cyst ive ever had that my teacher has been using a salicylic peel just on that spot. Its gone down but its also been a long time. It for sure peeled the shit out of it though haha.

    A few weeks ago I also started using a new toner (the tea tree one from body shop) that my skin doesnt react to so thats nice. Also an Aha from Old Henrikson and their vit c serum and face wash. My skin seems to not have a reaction to it, which is rare so im going to stick with it.

    After my period im switching to the non generic yaz to see if theres any change. Should i expect anything? Ive just heard zarah to cause breakouts in some even though technically they are the same, but ive been reading they have a different time release formula hence the difference for some. Any comments are welcome!
  19. I am almost two months in, and I am having an absolute melt down. My skin is so much worse than it has ever been. After a week without too many new breakouts but deep flaking and constantly redness stinging and blotchiness I started doing coconut oil twice a day under my aloe vera and washing with sunflower oil instead of face wash or honey. I will say it helped with the blotchiness and peeling alot, and helped center myskin back to normal in terms of dryness. However, for the past couple of days I have had the worst clogged pores ever, and inflamed cyst like pimples EVERYWHERE on my face. I have never had so many pimples and clogged pores at once and in places I don't normally break out as much, my face, the upper parts of my forehead, my upper lip, and all of my pores look clogged even those that aren't actively red as pimples. 

    I'm not sure if its because I had my period (which does usually make me break out more but usually its whiteheads around my chin), the cerave (which may have caused the redness/peeling since it was new to my routine) or the coconut oil which I had dailed back a bit on prior, but I can't afford to have my skin look like this. My skin has not looked this bad for years, I'm not even sure it was this bad the last time I used retina 4 years ago. I look terrible, I have pimples everywhere and none of my old pimples totally heal. They heal incredibly slowly and leave behind long lasting dark red marks, and the rest of my skin looks dull and peely. My compulsive picking has gotten worse and my forehead looks like I have measels again.

    Its starting to have a HUGE affect on my self confidence. I used to be able to largely ignore the fact that my skin looked terrible, but now its been going on for so long and just getting worse that I no longer want to leave my house. Before I started retina I had breakouts, but I could cover them up and as a whole my skin was clear. Now my skin looks terrible all the time, with and without make up. I am not going to give up, I know it can take up to six months to see the full effects of retin a, but I will say if I were ever going to give up it would be now. My skin hurts, is broken out on every part of my face, is red and angry and flakey and scaby and pimply, and as I look back on pictures taken two months ago I wish I had never started using retin A at all. At this point though I can only move forward so might as well stick with it....

    Oh PS one thing I did find about the aloe vera: in the morning after I wash my face I will put on a thick moisterizer with sunscreen, let it soak in for 10 minutes, then put a layer of aloe vera on top as a primer for my foundaiton. The aloe will make skin look less flakey under liquid foundaiton if applied carefully, but if you accidentally peel off part of the aloevera it peels off with the skin and can make flakes look worse.

  20. Latest Entry

    Well, the Bactrim is making me really sick. I have stayed dizzy and nauseated since I started taking this. It is not fun. I’m continuing to break out like I usually do, but it seems that some of the inflammation on my cheeks is down but that might just be wishful thinking. I’m depressed. I cry when I look at myself in the mirror. I don’t want to go out or be around people. I don’t want my boyfriend to touch my face or kiss me. It’s taking an emotional toll on me at this point. I just keep trying and working really hard to do everything I am supposed to do to make it better,  but it just isn’t helping. I know you don’t want my pity party; you want me to review the products I’m on. I’ll review them now…They suck.