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  1. Latest Entry

    I have gained 10 lbs in the last month from sitting around too much, eating too much, and not taking care of myself - and it shows on my skin. I do not break out in horrible, painful cystic acne like I used to when I was really struggling, but I still have temperamental skin. I have to watch what I put on it and I can definitely see a change based on what I eat as well. 


    The last month has been nothing but sugar, dairy, and carbs - bad idea! My skin is dull, tired looking, lots of clogged pores, a few pimples - nothing like it is when I am eating clean, nutrient dense foods and staying away from sugar. The diet / acne connection was always a mystery to me and also so overwhelming. I went pretty psycho restricting certain foods in order to try and clear my skin back when I was really suffering. Now I see that I was looking at it all wrong. I demonized foods like spinach (yes! spinach!), eggs, walnuts, and lots of other SUPER HEALTHY foods that would have been beneficial for my skin....  and instead I would eat oatmeal with agave nectar (like 4 bowls at a time, yuck) and think I was being healthy???????!!!!!!!! 


    I plan to go back to my clean eating, drinking lots of water, and working out again. I'm know my skin will respond positively quickly if I commit to this.  Hope this helps someone out there! The BIGGEST thing to stay away from is sugar - no nutrients, inflammatory, causes glycation, just all around bad.... I still eat fruits since it's natural sugar balanced out by fiber and vitamins... and a little maple syrup... but definitely no white sugar, splenda, or any of that junk!! 


    At some point I'll be doing a more in depth discussion of my experience with acne and diet but for now here are the videos I've done so far:

    -Every acne treatment I've tried (a huge compilation of all the acne treatments I tried... what worked and what didn't):

    -My acne story:

    -The weirdest treatment I tried:

  2. Haven't done an update in a while because I have been rather busy with work and university so thought I would try get one done now. I have been really lucky up un till the last few weeks or so and have had minimum side effects (dry lips and the one nose bleed in the first few weeks but thats about it) up until a few weeks ago when my body seemed to have turned against me.


    I started getting bad stomach pains and pains in my body that I had not had before, especially ones where my liver is (luckily these have died down a lot now, as i started getting really worried) Started getting a lot of headaches and really bad lower back pain also. The back pain was probably not helped by the way I have been sitting / laying while studying. I feel tired all the time and have really bad changes in my mood, its really strange but I have had a few moments where I have gotten really confused, like I can't remember what I'm doing or saying. Then I go through the stages of being really down where I just don't want to talk or be around anybody then the next minute I'm back to my normal self. My hair seems to be shredding a lot more and my eyes feel dry. I have had pain in my ankle joints and this weird burning sensation on my arms and legs (which also has seemed to disappear the past couple of days, thank god) 

    Yesterday I started with a bad throat. My lips are dry and today I have started to feel dizzy and my muscles just feel week and tired. Im not sure if this is the first signs of a cold / flu though as a couple people I work with have not been well recently, but I'm literally ready to give up. Im not strict with my accutane anymore. I have skipped taking it numerous days in the past couple of weeks because I'm so stressed out about my symptoms. I have lost half a stone because of this and thats a lot to say that Im only a slim guy in the first place.

    These are not probably helped by the fact that I don't intake enough water, Recently I have started drinking about 2 litres a day but before that I was lucky if I even had a glass of water.


    Worked out roughly that I will need to be on these another 4 months at my dosage of 30mg if I'm going to require the full dosage but right now I'm ready to throw in the towel. Nothing seems to be happening with my skin any more. Ok fair enough I don't have any more cysts (except the pimple i stupidly squeezed that got infected) but my blackheads just dont go and its really frustrating. 


    Just don't know what to do anymore. 

  3. Latest Entry

    Officially in the second month. What can I say? The first month was hell. Still not sure if my initial breakout is over. I didn't wipe my face with a rag in the shower last night so there's a bunch of dry skin on my face and I wear makeup so when I ate lunch all the makeup on my chin cracked. Embarrasing. Anyways I literally probably have about 20-25 spots on my face. Only one of them is big though but most of them are on my chin so yeah. I'm just trying to stay out of anything social altogether right now. I don't want to talk to anyone so I'm just going to stay off in a dark corner and hide haha. (Not literally). Pleeeease tell me I'm done breaking out Accutane, that would be real freaking nice.

  4. Latest Entry

    Moving into my new apartment tomorrow and totally excited to live alone.

    NOT excited by my face at all though. I don't understand what these "crusts" are. They look gross. When I had them around October, I did a 15% salicylic acid peel 2 days since my last application of Taz and they disappeared. My skin, in general, also looked better. I think I'll do the peel tonight since I applied tazorac on Sunday.





  5. As of tomorrow I will have completed one month of my Accutane course. So far it's really hard to say if I've seen much improvement. About the third week in, I got an initial breakout on my cheeks/jawline, chin, and around my mouth. I've never had an issue with blackheads before but in the past couple weeks the pores in my t-zone have been filled with them. i'm assuming it's just the medicine clearing out all the gunk in my pores.

    I can say that the initial breakout has definitely calmed down but I'm still having breakouts in the areas mentioned above and still have the stubborn ones that have been lingering for a while. I've heard people say that even if they did experience breakouts on accutane, they were usually short-lived but that doesn't seem to be the case with me. The only side effect I've experienced so far have been dry lips which are honestly not as bad as I expected them to be. I just use aquaphor or vaseline. 

    I'm so tempted to use pore strips to get rid of my blackheads but I'm unsure if that's a bad idea. Have any of you used them while on the medication? Also does anyone have any recommendations for a toner to use? I was my face with Cerave but it doesn't remove 100% of my makeup. My red marks also seem a lot more red than usual but I'm hoping that will just be a temporary thing.

  6. Hey! I'm sorry for being absent during these weeks.

    However, during the 6th week (1 month and half) I had a bigger breakout than the little one I had during the second week of treatment. It lasted for a looooong week and its effects went away only after 2 weeks.

    However I'm also glad to say that in this last week I didn't get any new pimples!!! Maybe accutane is gonna work? who knows!

    For the red marks I still have them quite red.. maybe a little bit less but I don't know.

    Here is a picture of my last weeks (you can see the difference between the breakout's period and the next one)

    I'm not experiencing any eccessive dryness or any kind of problem.

    My dosage is 40 mg\ day and my weight is 75 kgs.

    Stay tuned! See you!


  7. So i had my second dermatology appointment today staying on 70mg for duration. he said if i stick to 70mg i'll be done in 2.5 months making it a total of 4.5 months on it! The end is in sight!

    Basically now looking for advice on accutane and alcohol because well im having some rough hangovers??

  8. Hello all!

    So today I finished my 3rd pack which places me on day 15 of 80mg per day of accutane. I have seen small improvements on my skin. My acne has seemed to slow down and I currently have ZERO noticeable pimples and only a few that are deep down. Hooray! My chin still has clogged pores that seem to want to surface. And I can tell my oil production is slowing down. I was able to not wash my hair for 3 WHOLE FLIPPIN DAYS! This is a miracle compared to it getting greasy before 24 hours. I haven't had bad chapped lips because I use aquaphor frequently and my body isn't too dry but I have noticed my eczema flaring up a bit. Last time I posted I talked about bad back pain, but it is mostly gone and I think it was largely due to sitting for 10+ hours two days in a row doing homework (Yay college). 

    The only change in routine that I have been doing is taking 2 fish oil capsules with each dose of accutane. So, 4 capsules a day. This is supposed to help with joint health, skin moisture, and actually helps you loose weight (shown in a study with no change in diet or exercise) 

    I'll update when i'm done with my pack in another 5 days. :)




  9. the small breakout i had is healing very quickly. no more new pimples. i think the breakout was just some of the last few clogged pores coming to the surface. i have the feeling that from here out my skin isn't going to breakout anymore and just continue healing and clearing. 

  10. Wow... 4 months in.... and still not a whole lot of improvement. You could almost say that my acne is worse than when I started. And hey, maybe it WILL all clear up at the end of this process but I've said it once and I'll say it again: this process sucks 


    Because things around here have been so hectic lately I keep forgetting to write in my accutane journal but again, not much has happened. No new side effects, not really any new acne -- just old acne getting worse. There seems to be a few cystic heads popping up on my back so those are super unpleasant when sleeping or leaning back against chairs. My face has been beet red most days (no, I haven't been in the sun enough for it to be sunburn or windburn) and sensitive to the stupidest of things like water and air. Splash water on it for 2 seconds and it starts to sting a little and get uncomfortable. Even just when I have moisturizer on it still hurts just a little, especially if I feel wind or random gusts of air from fans or whatever. I've tried switching moisturizers or laying off of the face washing a little and not a thing seems to be helping. Maybe it's time to bring back out that honey/milk/salt mask again. 

    So, I was thinking about my dosage the other day and my persistent acne. Might it be possible that this is another "initial break out"? I had one when I started the 40mg, I had another when I started the 80mg, and now I'm back down to 40mg so I don't know, but it's just a thought. But it gives me hope that it will eventually go away. 


    So that's all for this week. I have bloodwork on Tuesday and then my derm appointment on Thursday so I'll let you know how those go. Fingers crossed that they let me return to my higher dosage! 


    Oyyyyyy. Alright, so it's day 19. 

    My break out has faded, BUT something weird has happened. I'm taking to the internet to try and figure out what it is. Basically in spots close to where I had kenalog dents (bad girl, I know), I've broken out in small bumps that look like pimples but aren't sore or really red. The doctors say it's just the pits filling in and the skin repairing itself (I've had a lot of kenalog in this area)... Is this true?! 

    The skin on my body is getting really dry, so I've started having coconut oil baths. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. I have one of those and then I slather my body with cetaphil moisturizer. The WEIRDEST thing is though, my face isn't dry yet. WTF? I've been caking on tons of moisturizer at night and that seems to be doing the trick, or I'm lucky, or it's not working? WHO KNOWS. I kind of want to be dry (don't kill me), just so I know "okay, this is doing it's thing" but I'll take the moisture while I can get it!

     I have my next derm appt in 2 weeks and I've got a baaad feeling that he's going to up my dose. Maybe that wouldn't be the worst thing. I know when I first did accutane I was on 80 MGs, which is a lot because I've never broken 100 lbs and I'm 5'0 -- I was a walking flakey bar

    On Saturday, in anticipation of my skin getting really dry -- I hit up Sephora. For as long as I can remember I've always been a powder girl. But, I feel like that's going to come to an end rather soon. So I went to get some foundation and a new primer. WHAT GOOD THAT WAS. I talked to this girl who works there, she had a lot of active acne (poor thing) and told me that she had done accutane before AND THEN proceeded to just try and scare me. She also gave me bad stuff, it doesn't look good at all. Seriously, people stare on the subway. HELP

    Also, can I just say not drinking is killing me? I don't really drink that much to begin with, a glass of wine here, a gin and tonic there... But being bound to soda water is only good for one thing (MY WAIST). I just want to watch netflix while I savor a glass of vino WITHOUT any anxiety. 

    If anyone is reading this, can you send some inspiration and pick me ups my way?! I need it this week! I just need to know that this is going to work. I get that this blog is really more for me, but I'm also looking to meet some accutane buddies!

  12. Hi, I'm on my second course of Accutane. Started on 15 July 2015, my first course ended in July 2013. I'm four months in and don't know when my course will end. I'll be seeing my Derm on the 4 Dec, I'll ask her.

    I went back to my GP as soon after finishing my first course the oil came back and then so did the spots. I was told to wait a year, if my spots came back. I was given retain a gel, which didn't really do anything. But I gave it time to work. I asked for a referral to the Derm, which I got.

    The Derm just gave me the prescription straight away, after making sure I wasn't pregnant and I did a blood test. I was given 40mg a day for the first month then went up to 50mg. 

    I had a break, a week in, as I had to have emergency surgery (gall bladder removed) missed 3 weeks. I started again, I noticed dry lips, slight skin peeling and itchy scalp when I was on 40mg.

    After starting 50mg my side effects were worse, I had really bad sore red eyes which had puss in them (still get puss) crusted over eyes in the morning, not now though. Seriously itchy dry scalp ( I was scratching my head like I had lice!) The dry itchy scalp has calmed down and mild hair loss.

    The hair loss was mild now it's bad. I've lost about one quarter of my hair, it's very noticeable. I wake up with an achey lower back and had kidney or liver pain (upper right side of my back) the upper back pain isn't noticeable now. I still have dry lips and I get headaches, every day. 

    My skin though is good, dry, no oil and only very small spots. Only noticeable to me, I'm not worried about them.  

    I got a few compliments about my skin, that made me feel good! My concern is how will my skin be when I finish my second course and how will my overall health and hair be? I guess I'll have to wait and see. 

    Feel free to ask questions or share your experiences of second courses. I look forward to reading them. :-)





  13. Well, it's been almost a week and dove soap is not what it used to be. I don't know what is changed in the last two years, but I seem to react to it over a very short time. It appears to be very drying and irritating.

    there's also the issue with the water in my apartment. It's not good, and I need something that's going to combat that. I've settled on Spectro jel because I was informed by a pharmacist (I know, not a dermatologist but somebody with some knowledge of chemistry) that spectro has ingredients that help combat the harshness of hard water and Chelate minerals from the skin. I won't be using the kind for blemish prone skin because I don't have acne. I will using the one for combination skin, in conjunction with the Toleraine  fluid and we'll see how that goes.

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    Recent Entries

    Latest Entry

    You never have to be alone. Even if you think that there is not one soul who cares about you, I PROMISE you there is. I will prove that to you by letting myself be that one person who cares.

    This blog post is entirely dedicated to YOU and your questions. Comment a question or a comment, anything you would like to vent or say to me. I will do my best to answer your question, give you words of encouragement, or simply thank you for commenting and taking the time to read my blog.

    I know what it feels like to feel lonely and I don’t want anyone to have to deal with that for an extended period of time. Never give up. Keep on being positive. You are way better than you think you are.

    These can be questions or comments about your struggles with acne, or just simply your struggles in life. Let this blog post serve as a safe haven for you.

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    Latest Entry

    Hello everyone my name is Emma, and I'm new here. Just started the regimen yesterday, I don't think this will work but I have heard so much about it I had to give it a try.... I have tried so many products before, I think I have tried everying, I really wants this to work, I can't stand looking at my face anymore.....I want to be a cabin crew for British Airways, but they will never hire my with acne all over my face, I'm just scared that I'll be like this my whole life.......

    I don't expect anyone to answer back, but if someone does it would be nice to now that it has worked for someone

    thanks enjoy your evening 

  14. Latest Entry

    So, it snowed for the first time this past weekend. My apartment is crazy hot because I have no idea how to control the heaters. I also wake up feeling really thirsty and like my skin is hella dry.  I really wish I could control these heaters but they're automatic. -___- I just have my windows open all the time now. I can feel the moisture from outside. I know not even CeraVe will combat these damn heaters, and my humidifier is too small to take on such moisture sapping heaters. We'll see what this winter brings. Clear for the time being...

  15. Diet:
    I'm doing alright with my diet, although I went a little over my calories today. I'm still vegetarian, of course, and have completely removed dairy from the equation. Just eggs in the morning.

    I chose snow peas and hummus over a whole bag of popcorn so I'm really pleased about that.

    Today I ate:
    -English Muffin
    -Scrambled eggs


    -Veggie straws

    -Starbucks soy chai latte (oops...this was a slip-up, but I went to get my hair trimmed-- it's a pixie, so I do that a lot-- and starbucks was RIGHT there, and my boyfriend wanted Bad excuses)

    -Snow peas

    Today was an off-day for the gym, which is okay because I needed it after getting some stressful/bad news earlier.

    As for the zit that I decided to pick at yesterday...It came to a head by the end of the day today (HALLELUJAH) and I popped it, easily. Hardly any pressure at all needed. So, that was a good thing. After I messed with it last night, I put on some Origins Skin Renew sample that I had (it ended up making my neck red and itchy..) and then some aloe mask that I have. I think this helped because usually my under-the-skin zits don't come to a head easily at all. 

    Now I have a sephora fiber mask on my face-- Honey and something. It's for moisturizing and soothing because the Origins stuff made my skin tight.

    Here's a cute picture!


  16. So I beieve tomorrow will be week the start of week 16 of using Differin.

    I just want to say that I HATE my skin right now. I am very stressed with uni work currently though so I don't think that helps. 

    Last month I took the morning after pill, which I'm not exactly proud of. I seriously noticed my skin deteriorate a lot the following weeks after that. Thing is... things started clearing up well like last week I felt okay with my skin it wasn't 'too bad'.

     But this week it's just shit. I started swimming again more often than normal and I wonder if that's playing a part. So I'm going to stop the swimming atm which kinda sucks :/


    Still using differin roughly every second evening but I did go about 3 or 4 evenings of not taking it. I keep thinking about trying retin A? Would that seriously affect me in a negative way do you think? Like will it make me purge again etc? And make things worse?

    I'm waiting till week 20 and then going back to the docs. Still want to try accutane but we'll see.



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    The Worries
         I am writing this to log my life after taking Accutane and the gradual return of acne on my body and the side effects that I am living with. After I stopped my course in September of 2015, I was nearly clear of all acne. Two months later, it is making a gradual return. It is not on my back at all right now, aside from one on the side of my chest, but, for the most part, it is red lumps on my chest. I'm extremely worried that it is going to make a vengeful return, but I am doing what I can to stop that. They are painful, one is right underneath of my nipple and it hurts like a bitch. I did begin dating someone shortly after my Accutane course was up and he has been a big help in getting my self-esteem back up. I have confided into him that I think it is coming back and he just tells me that he has never cared about what my skin looks like and that it doesn't matter. That's helpful, but I still need to take care of it. I cannot live a life of secretly hating myself for something that I cannot help. 
    The Side Effects After
         There are only a few side effects that I know for a fact stem from the Accutane. For one, my eyes are SO sensitive. I hate being in bright rooms and I prefer my rooms to be dark. It hurts to wake up in the morning and shower since my eyes haven't had time to get accustomed to the light. I usually shower in the dark or leave the hall light on with my door open so it's a dimmer light shining in. Secondly, my lips. My lips are still feeling the effects of Accutane and I don't think that is going to go away. I feel like they have been ruined and I will have to apply lip balm every day for the rest of my life. Something else I've noticed (and kind of don't want to talk about) is my irregular bowel movements and excessive diarrhea. I know, gross topic, but I really feel like the Accutane has messed with the insides of my body. I frequently get diarrhea now, something that was never problematic in the past, and now my bowel movements are so irregular. Sometimes I feel like I have to go ALL DAY. It's frustrating, and something I never felt before. For the final thing, I feel like it has messed with my brain. I get super depressed easily now, and I feel like I'm an angrier person after taking Accutane. Now, I don't know if this is because of the tane, but I do have to say I didn't feel like this before. With all of these side effects I am feeling, I would still recommend Accutane to somebody. It did clear up my cystic acne on my back and I've never felt better. I just need to work out the rest of my body acne.
    Thank you to anyone who reads any of my blog posts. I try my best to keep adding to them since I have realized that not many people suffer from the type of acne that I have. Please message me for any questions or comments, or if you feel the need to talk to someone who can relate to having body acne. 
  17. Latest Entry

    The blogs are getting few and far between but I am forever present on this website.
    I'm still using my same routine of benzoyl peroxide in the morning and differin at night. 
    And guys... I am still clear. Like scary clear. Even after 2 courses of roaccutane I wasn't this clear so please please please don't give up just because accutane hasn't worked for you!

  18. Latest Entry

    So I made an appointment with a dermatologist today! A friend recommended Dermatology Associated of Oak Ridge so I called today and have a consultation on the 30th. Even though my gyno prescribed Spiro to me, I think a professional will be able to look at my skin and give me some more advise. I'm super excited and hoping that I like the PA I'm seeing. Fingers crossed! 

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    Recent Entries

    So my freshman year of college I decided after years of having persistent acne I was going to go on accutane. It honestly was not as bad as i expected. I have had CONSTANT chest acne for years. To the point that I had not worn a shirt that showed my chest in about two years. After a month of accutane my chest was completely clear, I had no initial break out on my face, and I had no serious side effects. I even drank alcohol pretty regularly on it and nothing bad ever happened to me. But the last month of my treatment I started to break out, and my chest slowly started getting clogged pores and I just knew that I was going to break out once i was off.

    As I expected about two months after being off, my chest broke out like crazy. My face went back to being insanely oily, and my forehead broke out in tiny little pimples. Just this past week I got my first few real pimples since being off accutane. I am extremely angry that I am going to have to do another round. I have an appointment in December with ym derm to get the ball rolling again. Im doing this so i can compare this round to my last round, and here is to hoping that it goes by as smoothly as my first round did.

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    The clear up game is real. Haven't had any new big breakouts for a week now, just small whiteheads here and there. Red marks are slowly going away, but my face definitely looks more presentable now.

  19. When i got into grade 9, my skin started to become oily and i got many pimples on my forehead, thinking this was a passing thing i didn't really think much of it, until they started multiplying and staying for weeks and months! I decided that I would go back to my skin routine before my acne started, which was simply washing every night with water and wiping with a face washer. To be honest, this did not make my skin worse nor better over the course of the weeks i was doing this. I decided i would try the simple supermarket Clearsil etc. This did nothing to my skin whatsoever!

    After about 15 more hopeless products tried i decided benzyl peroxide would do something. I was really at my wits end with oily skin and low-self esteem.I used the benzac 5% cream and the foaming face wash, did nothing except make my face dry for 2 hours after washing then an oil slick throuought the day. I read that it ages your skin 10 years in the course of a year, so I stopped using it and had nowhere to go now.

    My Mom bought me home some testers which a sales-woman at Aesop had prescribed for my Mom to give to me after her explaining the state my skin was in. It included the Amazing Face Cleanser, Anti-Blemish Chamomile Concerntrate Masque, Oil-Free Facial Hydrating Serum and a Lactic Acid facial scrub. These worked wonders on my face so my Mo  returned to buy me the full-sized bottles. I wash every morning with the Aesop range and every night with just a splash of water, and my face has never looked better! It glows too which really adds to the clear complexion I have achieved too.

    I use the Cleanser in between days of a masque and scrub. Monday cleanser, tuedsay cleanser and masque, wednesday cleanser, thurdsay scrub, friday cleanser etc. and moisturising every time i use a product in the morning. the masque is amazing and feels like I am rubbing chocolate mousse onto my face, and only has to sit for 10 minutes! The scrub leaves my sin feeling baby soft and they all smell amazing! I love the 4 products I have from Aesop, i now have 95% clear skin and love it!

    I 100% reccommend it for anyone. Comment below for additional information. :) 

  20. image.thumb.jpeg.64989544805065c41148c70Im on the sugar pills of Month 4 and halfway till my 2nd month of spiro. The weather isnt deadly hot now so Idk if its because of that or the spiro but I really havent been as oily. All my pimples are still just on my chin and got two in each side of smiling lines this month. A few things have changed:

    ive started beauty school where my teacher has got me doing "high frequency" treatment with this device. Im on day 4 and havent had any huge cysts, just small ones. Idk if its from that or because of my menstral cycle or the products im using or what. I have the largest cyst ive ever had that my teacher has been using a salicylic peel just on that spot. Its gone down but its also been a long time. It for sure peeled the shit out of it though haha.

    A few weeks ago I also started using a new toner (the tea tree one from body shop) that my skin doesnt react to so thats nice. Also an Aha from Old Henrikson and their vit c serum and face wash. My skin seems to not have a reaction to it, which is rare so im going to stick with it.

    After my period im switching to the non generic yaz to see if theres any change. Should i expect anything? Ive just heard zarah to cause breakouts in some even though technically they are the same, but ive been reading they have a different time release formula hence the difference for some. Any comments are welcome!