340 replies to this topic

[Jarrec]

Hi Cj, seems your skin is improving! I'm glad to hear it...and I'm also waiting for the World Cup (by the way, do you know any Polish football clubs? I like the Bundesliga and I think that Oliver Kahn is the best goalkeeper in the world!

[englishmuppet]

Hmm, I think 70% ain't bad or? And german is a quite difficult language. And your german is not as bad as you think. So I understand most of what you wrote. Or better said I think I know what you mean.

Yes James Blunt is ace. I think he will play some gigs in Germany the next weeks. Unfortunately I have no tickets.

What do you think about Damien Rice? Do you like his kind of music?

Ooh damien rice is good I like that kind of acoustic music Though he hasn't done anything new in a while... Though I was listening to some old school madonna the other day rofl. Let your body move to the music! Lol, I might continue the whole *listening to such and such* thing when I write my next entry haha.

And my german understanding is really bad rofl.. I got an E on the last test I did rofl... Though I will get through it somehow.

Day 85
Soccer/Football/World-Cup-2006-Germany-Countdown: 42 days to go

hi everybody,
so good news today. I only got one new zit near my left eyebrow its one of these guys you can't see cos he's under my skin but it hurts bad when I touch him. Not cool However my cheeks getting better and my forehead is almost clear. Only some old zits and these horrible reds marks there which remind me of the terrible last weeks. side-effects: very mild today, only dry skin and lips but nothing to write home about.

I've played some tennis today, was the first time since last sept. I think I was pretty good. Sure I lost cos of the missing training but it brought me lots of fun anyhow!

Anyways I've presented my software-development elaboration at university today. I was a bit nervous but it went good. After my presentation the prof said: Good work boy. Pretty cool I think

In overall it was a very good day today. Thanks everbody for reading my log. Hope all of you had a great day today. Thanks for your encouragement and all your support

Currently listening to **3 Doors Down - Here Without You**

Glad you did well on your presentation, and hope the one under your skin goes away... I hate those, though I never know what to do about them...

[Brianne]

Hallo CJ. Ich hab' dein Tagebuch gelesen, und es scheint, dass es dir gut geht! Ich hoffe, dass du Glueck mit Accutane haben wirst. Ich hab' bemerkt, dass du fuer den Weltcup interresiert. Meine zwei Freunde und ich werden nach Deutschland diesen Sommer fliegen, um den Weltcup zu sehen. Wir haben keine Karten, aber wir werden die Fussballspiele in den Kneipen beobachten...Ok, viel Glueck!.....By the way, mein Deutsch ist schlecht. Ich hab' Deutsch nur fuer drei Semester gelernt und ich hab' viel vergessen.

[shunts]

Hi CJ

Hope things are improving for you. Have you asked about an increased dose yet? I’ve just had mine decreased so I’m not happy!

By the way, I just wanted to ask - did you write that Accutane Song yourself? It’s true, all German’s are mad! Good cars though, shame about your football ;-) I think it might be England’s turn to win this time!

And just in case you’re interested I’m currently listening to “Stevie Wonder, Uptight�

[cj83]

corrine:hey you're a really great person and you're so sweet too I enjoy it so much reading your log or your posts in other logs. btw I thought it would be a good idea to put this phrase you wrote earlier in my signature cos its so true "Everybody need a little bit of encouragement everyday" Thanks for all.

kermit: Thanks for stopping by. Yes we're on the same dosage. If you have any questions feel free to ask. I will follow your log to see how your treatment will go on.

jarrec: To tell the truth I don't know any polish football club. But wait whats about Wasla Krakow I think its one or am I wrong? That's the only one I know. Yeah you' re right the last week was a good skin week: I hope it will go on like that. Have a nice weekend!

englishmuppet: Thanks have a nice weekend buddy

brianne: Dein Deutsch ist wirklich super! Ehrlich! Danke für deine netten Worte. Leider hab ich auch keine Karten für die WM. Aber wen interessierts, man kann fast in jeder größeren Stadt die meisten Spiele auf Großbildschirmen ansehen. Das wird bestimmt großartig. Welche Städte wollt ihr besuchen? Alles Gute!

translation for my international readers:
Your german is really great! Honestly! Thanks for your nice words. Unfortunately I also have no tickets for the world-cup. But who cares, you can watch most of the games on big screens almost in every bigger city. That certain will be awesome. Which cities would you visit. All the Best!

shunts: Yes I've wrote it on my own. lol We germans are mad I know. Don't you like it?
anyways we'll win the world-cup on 9. july or should I remember you what happend 1990 and 1996. We bet you. haha and we will do it once again. *just kidding* grr I don't think germany will win this time. So I will ask my derm about increasing my dose at my appointment next week.
Have a nice weekend.

Day 86
Soccer/Football/World-Cup-2006-Germany-Countdown: 41days to go

hi guys,
the under-my-skin-pimple near my left eyebrow is getting bigger. I guess it will breach the next days. But I'm a bit scared to squezze it cos maybe it will cause me a small scar. So I'll wait and see what will happen. I'm lucky cos my right worse cheek is getting better every day. But I'm also a bit angry cause my left cheek is getting a bit worse. 3-5 of these small white humps are starting to break out. So I know that I'll get some new zits next week. But in overall my skin looks better then last week. And thanks god no cysts anymore. Side-effects are the same like yesterday. They're very mild, only the normal effects!

Thanks everybody for your replies and all your support . I'm glad that you're interested how my journey will go on. And at the beginning I thought nobody would be interested to read this.

Have a nice looooong weekend.

Currently listening to **Death Cab for Cutie - Summer Skin**

[Jarrec]

jarrec: To tell the truth I don't know any polish football club. But wait whats about Wasla Krakow I think its one or am I wrong? That's the only one I know. Yeah you' re right the last week was a good skin week: I hope it will go on like that. Have a nice weekend!

Yes, Wisla Krakow is one of the best Polish clubs!

[Freedom2008]

hey cj83...
i think im just a week or so behind you on Roaccutane... i think i started on 9th Feb... man... i have been through this stage like 4 times.... yup this is my 4th course!!! but yet i have no clue of what, how, when about this drug!! should be an expert by now, haha i think its given me some memory lost but everytime is different experience....
just realised 1 thing that help alot in the healing stage, well you probably know it by now is keep your skin moist heaps of cream. yup i getting the flare ups too... touching them is not good but in the past 3 courses i had, every month i saw my Derm i got all my acne popped... after the course i have no scaring and seem to work faster too, i mean by 2months in the course i was cleared and have to take it another 2 1/2 months to make sure that it wont come back... well it did came back! but this time i changed to another Derm which there is no poping involved, seem like i have more red spots then in the past course and work more slower... spots and marks seem to fade but im not reall sure, different mirrors give my skin a different look some mirrors are ok, some really really bad like i can see practically every spots clearly!! hahaha does this happen to you guys? enough with my TANE history... just wanna tell you dont worry man, it should be clear in a couple of months

[corrine_1980]

Hi cj..
Wow you got lots of fans here..

Your journey is a very interesting one .
Soo glad you don't have anymore cysts.. yeah that's very annoying.. because they are big and painfull.. I also hate them..

Gee.. you have the same experience as me. Last time my left cheek is quite ok and right cheek is sooo horrible.. but now the condition turns around..

And do you know what.. you are talented man..
hahaha your accutane poet is cool

Good luck and have a nice dayyy...

Corrine

[cj83]

.. spots and marks seem to fade but im not reall sure, different mirrors give my skin a different look some mirrors are ok, some really really bad like i can see practically every spots clearly!! hahaha does this happen to you guys? enough with my TANE history... just wanna tell you dont worry man, it should be clear in a couple of months

hey freedom,
thanks for reading my log man. I know exactly what your're talking about regarding this mirror thing. You're absolutely right different mirrors give my skin different looks too. Ooh I hate these mirror at the coiffeur or the lighting with this neon lamps in the bathroom. Terrible you can see every red mark and every little scar in this lighting. Horrible!

What I wanted to ask you. How long were your 3 first accutane treatments and how high was your dosage?

Thanks for your nice words.
Have a nice weekend.

Hi cj..
Wow you got lots of fans here..

Your journey is a very interesting one .
Soo glad you don't have anymore cysts.. yeah that's very annoying.. because they are big and painfull.. I also hate them..

Gee.. you have the same experience as me. Last time my left cheek is quite ok and right cheek is sooo horrible.. but now the condition turns around..

And do you know what.. you are talented man..
hahaha your accutane poet is cool

Thanks for leaving me some nice words again. haha me a talented man...haha...Thanks
Yes it's really crappy that one side of the face gets better and the other side worse. It's like acne is playing a snakily game with us But we'll win at the end. Yes we will!

Day 87
Soccer/Football/World-Cup-2006-Germany-Countdown: 40days to go

hey everbody.
No good skin day today. I feel a bit depressed cos my left cheek is getting worse though the right one is getting better. My forehead is almost clear and my chin looks quite good. leastwise anything.
Side effects are very mild again I would say like the last few days. Only dry lips nothing else.

I don't know why but I feel bad today. Maybe cos it's saturday night and I'm still sitting at home. But I don't feel confident enough to go out these days. I'm not lucky with my appearance atm . That's crappy I should enjoy my life but I can't. Acne I hate you! Go away.....

So I've written one new poet a few minutes ago. That's excatly how I feel atm. I've named it unlovely. grr I'm a sick guy. But I feel better now though it was a good idea to wrote down what I think!

I wish all of you a nice weekend! Thanks everybody for reading my log.

Currently listening to ** Embrace - You're Not Alone**

[hi im Lvig]

awww, no, feel better!!! look on the bright side, your right cheek is improving!
and your forehead is almost clear! go out next weekend, okay? you seem like a VERY nice guy
and acne shouldnt ruin your fun!! and people who judge like that are not worth your time! please feel better!

[corrine_1980]

Hey Cj..
You are a nice guy..
Don't worry girl will not care whether you have pimples or not..
Anyway at the end you'll be clear.. we'll be clear.. right .

And I love your poet soooo much..
It's soooo sweet.. may be you should collect it.
It really touch me and I also feel the same way sometimes..

This whole experience really makes me a social phobia.
Agreeeee ACNE is SUCKS... sorry for using that bad word.
Ok wish they will go away.. as you know I still have those stupid pimples too :S :S.
Sometimes I feel like going to the mountain and shout out my anger.. too bad no mountain here.. hehehe..

Be strong and have a nice day cj..
Really hope that you'll feel better..

[englishmuppet]

Day 87
Soccer/Football/World-Cup-2006-Germany-Countdown: 40days to go

hey everbody.
No good skin day today. I feel a bit depressed cos my left cheek is getting worse though the right one is getting better. My forehead is almost clear and my chin looks quite good. leastwise anything.
Side effects are very mild again I would say like the last few days. Only dry lips nothing else.

I don't know why but I feel bad today. Maybe cos it's saturday night and I'm still sitting at home. But I don't feel confident enough to go out these days. I'm not lucky with my appearance atm . That's crappy I should enjoy my life but I can't. Acne I hate you! Go away.....

So I've written one new poet a few minutes ago. That's excatly how I feel atm. I've named it unlovely. grr I'm a sick guy. But I feel better now though it was a good idea to wrote down what I think!

I wish all of you a nice weekend! Thanks everybody for reading my log.

Currently listening to ** Embrace - You're Not Alone**

Ooh I like Embrace! It's sad they both have aids though... :S Tis a fucked up world. I can really relate though, I'm really worried about going out later cos I am going wearing a fairly skimpy outfit (lollol.) and my back and chest hasn't cleared up much... But you know, sod it! We should enjoy ourselves, we don't need to be attractive to go out, otherwise anybody who thought there was something wrong with themselves would just stay in... which would be basically everybody bar the arragant/perfect people...

[cj83]

hi friends,
no skin update today!

I don't feel good the last days. I'm frightend of these psychical effects. I'm unable to realise that my skin is getting better. When I look in the mirror I don't see the improvement I only see how crappy my skin looks. It's like I'm seeing an old picture of me what's saved in my head. Like distorted appreciation or something. I don't know what to do. Can I ever feel good in my skin when I always see this pictures of me which aren't true. It's like beeing anorexic and thinking you're fat or something. What can I do against this. Will this ever go away. I just want to live a normal life but I fail. I don't know what's going on in my head. One day I feel great the other day sad. That's not normal. I'm tired of this shit. I just want to be a normal guy.

no personal replies today
sorry guys

[Jules70]

hey everbody.
No good skin day today. I feel a bit depressed cos my left cheek is getting worse though the right one is getting better. My forehead is almost clear and my chin looks quite good. leastwise anything.
Side effects are very mild again I would say like the last few days. Only dry lips nothing else.

I don't know why but I feel bad today. Maybe cos it's saturday night and I'm still sitting at home. But I don't feel confident enough to go out these days. I'm not lucky with my appearance atm . That's crappy I should enjoy my life but I can't. Acne I hate you! Go away.....

So I've written one new poet a few minutes ago. That's excatly how I feel atm. I've named it unlovely. grr I'm a sick guy. But I feel better now though it was a good idea to wrote down what I think!

I wish all of you a nice weekend! Thanks everybody for reading my log.

Currently listening to ** Embrace - You're Not Alone**

hi friends,
no skin update today!

I don't feel good the last days. I'm frightend of these psychical effects. I'm unable to realise that my skin is getting better. When I look in the mirror I don't see the improvement I only see how crappy my skin looks. It's like I'm seeing an old picture of me what's saved in my head. Like distorted appreciation or something. I don't know what to do. Can I ever feel good in my skin when I always see this pictures of me which aren't true. It's like beeing anorexic and thinking you're fat or something. What can I do against this. Will this ever go away. I just want to live a normal life but I fail. I don't know what's going on in my head. One day I feel great the other day sad. That's not normal. I'm tired of this shit. I just want to be a normal guy.

no personal replies today
sorry guys

Hey CJ. I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it at the moment. I liked the poem. I think it's quite cathartic to get your feelings out and write them down. It's the reason I started my log here on this site. It's a great outlet. I know it's easier said then done but I try focus on the positive, whatever it maybe. Like you said, your forehead is just about clear. Focus on that. I know it's not easy. Try and stay strong. Feel free to PM me if you wish to vent.

Currently listening to: Peter Gabriel / Games Without Frontiers

[Freedom2008]

Hey CJ...

Dont feel bad man... i got throught this in the past (1998, 2003, 2005 and (current 2006) ->dont know about that?)... as i said this is my 4th time on this!!! there are times i think to myself, is this worth it going through all this side effects? all this flare up and red spots? is this gonna be scars? eventhough i experienced all this, i still ask myself all that questions every minute of the day! it will eventually be clear in months or maybe a year, depending on how bad your scars turn out in the end. Yup the mirriors!! dame!!! cant they make all mirrors the same (only the one that make your skin look nice and clear hehe) maybe im wrong about them, as u said i think the lights does something as well.

At the moment im on 60mg, 7 boxes which equal approx. 5 months and a week or 2, im nearly my 3rd month big improvement but just red spots and brown marks (hopefully not scars), i can see im getting clearer by the day. TANE wont work until 3-4 months so i cant wait till then, when it starts just sit back and relax, enjoy nice clear skin man. past 3 courses i was on 50mg 1 day and 60mg the next, repeat cycle over and over for about 4 1/2 months to 5 months... sorry i cant remember exactly!!! then DERM precribed me Stevia A which i think made the skin more clearer... Stevia A is a cream which apply all over skin at night before bed... used it approx. 2 weeks (ask your DERM about it, he or she might suggest different brand, because my DERM told me if i get scars come back, i assumed there is a scar treatment. so dont worry about it too much) by that time skin are clear and you probably find yourself not looking in the mirrior that often and maybe forget about the cream and pills.

hopefully that help, heheh im still counting down the days till my skin is clear!!!

Freedom2006

[bacon88]

Servus cj83! Ich bin ein Österreicher, von Wien. Viel Gluck auf deinen Roaccutan Ablauf! Wie sind die Nachwirkungen? Akne ist so angespannt, aber Roaccutan ist die Lösung des Rätsels. Du musst bedenken dass Roaccutan ist fast eine Kur und du wirst in 5 Monaten kristallklar sein! Alles gute!

[cj83]

Servus cj83! Ich bin ein Österreicher, von Wien. Viel Gluck auf deinen Roaccutan Ablauf! Wie sind die Nachwirkungen? Akne ist so angespannt, aber Roaccutan ist die Lösung des Rätsels. Du musst bedenken dass Roaccutan ist fast eine Kur und du wirst in 5 Monaten kristallklar sein! Alles gute!

hey bacon,
Ich hoffe du hast recht. Ich bin aber auch zuversichtlich das Roaccutan die Lösung des Rätsels sein wird. Ich hoffe das ich endlich reine Haut haben werde. Ich ärgere mich schon so viele Jahre mit dieser Krankheit herum, ich will endlich wieder in den Spiegel schauen können und mich gut dabei fühlen. Und die Nebenwirkungen sind oft nicht so schlimm wie man denkt. Ja es gibt Tage an denen man sich schlecht fühlt aber es gibt auch gute Tage.
Danke für deine Wünsche.
Auch für dich alles Gute!

[cj83]

hi im Lvig: hey thanks for visiting my log and your encouragement. Hope your tests went well.

corrine: I'm glad that you liked my poet..thanks for your support...hope you had a nice labor day

englishmuppet: hey you're right...I'll keep your words in mind... they're so true..I should enjoy my life..I'll try...Ooh I hope so much that you had a great party last night ...thanks dude

jules: your're right it also makes me feel better to write down what I feel. Thanks for your encouragement. Yes I will try to focus on the good things and be more positive. Wish you a nice week!

kaelynd: yes that's strange, one day everthing is fine the other day everything horrible..thanks for your post..I'll try to go out again and have some fun..maybe it will make me feel better..

freedom: I'm counting too buddy..and thanks for the advice with this cream. I guess I will ask my derm at my next appointment...Thanks

bacon88: thanks for reading my log. I think your right... one day my skin will be crystal clear. Danke!! Grüsse nach Wien! Alles Gute!

posh: thanks for dropping by and leaving me some nice words. I hope your right! Thanks dude

Day 89
Soccer/Football/World-Cup-2006-Germany-Countdown: 38days to go

hi guys,
skin is looking ok today. The under-my-skin-pimple near my left eyebrow is still there. Feels a bit hard when I touch it. I would like to know how long it will stay there..grr.. forehead and chin are almost clear. Right cheek is getting a bit worse again. I hope thats no new breakout or something cos I also got some of these small white humps there. Hopefully they won't become zits the next days. Though I guess I will get a small cyst or a big under-the-skin-pimple there. I can feel that there is something growing under my skin if I touch it...grr...left cheek is looking ok...sure still some ignited zits there but not so bad...side-effects are very mild though I got a small nosebleed in the morning but not as bad as the ones at the beginning of my treatment. Other side-effects I've are only dry lips.

Ooh I feel so sorry for not replying your posts yesterday but I've answered them today..hehe ...Sorry guys
I've to say I feel much better today! Of course skin is looking almost the same as the last days but I feel more confident again. Don't know why. But that's the truth. The last weeks had been like a roller-coaster ride for me. One day in heaven the other one in hell. But today its heaven

Hope all of you had a nice weekend.

Thanks for visiting my log! Thanks for everything!
Your're all great


Currently listening to**Snow Patrol-Hands Open**

[hi im Lvig]

hey i'm glad to hear you are feeling better! put some BP on those cysts to be that you feel! it will help kill them before they even come to a head! and thanks for wishing me luck on my tests!!