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[Darth Hideous]

I was just thinking today about how my life is going to hell and it occurred to me that if you're on that path, all the little bad things that happen to you day to day can be grouped under the general heading of "Obstacles on the road to perdition". (Wasn't Road to Perdition a movie? I love that phrase, because of that awesome word - "Perdition". As in, perditus sum. Or perde.) And acne very succinctly fits under the heading of speedbumps and potholes - both literally (in terms of what it does to your skin) and metaphorically (in terms of your quality of life). OK, I realize speedbumps aren't due to improper maintenance, but are put there deliberately to make your trip worse - sound familiar?

The road to perdition goes both ways. One way leads to the land of the lost, and because roads can basically be modeled by graph theory, the other way must lead to where all the happy people go. (Something like Elysium, where dead gladiators named Maximus go. Although Aeneas found out it's filled with magic grass and interesting weeds, if you know what I mean...)

No matter which way you go, you get affected by the speedbumps and potholes. Your car could suck and you get hit hard every time you hit a disturbance. Your car might be awesome and it won't affect you one bit. What does that metaphorically represent? Well, basically your other qualities that allow you to compensate or cope with less than perfect skin.

Every person has their own road. That's why some people don't get potholes, or speedbumps, or total gridlock, while others get an interdimensional wormhole to their final destination. (E.g. "Sent straight to hell." or "Carried bodily into heaven." Hmm... that reminds me, I have to tape Stargate). It's all in which road you were assigned to. The driving's up to you. And the direction you go is up to you. At least partially.

I'm trying to turn around because I can see Perdition itself in my front windshield. But the bridge behind me just collapsed, and I found out that my car has some serious design flaws. So it looks like I'm going into the fire. But your mileage may vary. (Did I just seamlessly inject a common cliche into this analogy? Sweet.) You might even be able to pull a three-point turn and go off to the place where you may frolick in fields of magic grass.

It's all in the cards. Or the cars.

[U s e r n a m e]

"Obstacles on the road to perdition". (Wasn't Road to Perdition a movie?

Sounds familiar...


But wow... you have a great mind. You should write a book or something.

[Darth Hideous]

I'm not touching any form of book writing - even with Archimedes' imagined world-moving lever (OK, I think that's a little too phallic for me). I'll suffer from writers block faster than I can write "It was a dark and stormy night".