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Pushing Him Away because of ACNE!


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#1 amandakay_6

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Posted 21 February 2005 - 10:31 PM

I have to get this off my chest...I've been a total B*word for about four days now...I hope I'm not alone on this...I have strange acne...one week it's "okay"...and the next week...it's horrible...and my MOOD goes along with how broken out my face is...Clear weeks...happy and care free...broken out weeks...well, no one better look at me, talk to me, or attempt to do anything that might, just might, rub off ANY of my makeup! So, I've been so mean to my overly nice "guy" that I'm sort of seeing (yeah, it's complex) I don't let him come over...I don't let him look at my face...I'm totally heartbroken about this...I wish that I could just be like "the hell with it" you love me for me...but I push him away and, of course, he takes it personal...Is it normal to be so hateful to EVERYONE when your broken out?...or am I displaceing my anger on others when I'm really mad at the fact that I can't fix my horrible skin?

#2 Guider

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Posted 21 February 2005 - 11:08 PM

Having acne usually destroys your confidence and makes you want to hide away from everybody. I know that's what happened with me anyway

One day just see him without makeup on, see what he does/says... It will be hard for you at first, but I bet he doesn't care at all and he will still like you just as much

My ex had a little acne every now and again, and I still found her to be the most beautiful person in the world, she still is to me

I hate everybody with clear skin when I'm looking horrible, so don't feel so bad eusa_angel.gif just try to make things better by actually trying to just say "fuck it, you love me for me".... I know lots of people who can say that their boy/girlfriends didn't care about acne at all

Why are things so complex darling? and why is guy in speech marks? is he a eunuch? wink.gif

Pirates of the carribean is a great movie eusa_angel.gif

I hope things work out eusa_angel.gif *hugs* wub.gif

#3 amandakay_6

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Posted 23 February 2005 - 09:23 PM

QUOTE(Guider @ Feb 22 2005, 12:08 AM)
Having acne usually destroys your confidence and makes you want to hide away from everybody. I know that's what happened with me anyway

One day just see him without makeup on, see what he does/says... It will be hard for you at first, but I bet he doesn't care at all and he will still like you just as much

My ex had a little acne every now and again, and I still found her to be the most beautiful person in the world, she still is to me

I hate everybody with clear skin when I'm looking horrible, so don't feel so bad eusa_angel.gif just try to make things better by actually trying to just say "fuck it, you love me for me".... I know lots of people who can say that their boy/girlfriends didn't care about acne at all

Why are things so complex darling? and why is guy in speech marks? is he a eunuch? wink.gif

Pirates of the carribean is a great movie eusa_angel.gif

I hope things work out eusa_angel.gif *hugs* wub.gif

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I would love to be able to let down my guard and let him see me without my makeup on...but it's so hard to take off the "mask" that i've gotten so used to putting on EVERY morning...It's the way I hide...it's a sad attempt to try to look flawless...it's hard to be a person with acne...I can't stand to see people with perfect clear glowing skin...It makes me even more crazy when I know they fall asleep with their makeup on while I spend forever in the bathroom every night trying painful face med's. Grrrr....Oh, and pirates of the carribean is a good movie...I hope you weren't being sarcastic...lol. smile.gif

#4 Guider

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Posted 24 February 2005 - 07:02 AM

QUOTE(amandakay_6 @ Feb 24 2005, 03:23 AM)
I would love to be able to let down my guard and let him see me without my makeup on...but it's so hard to take off the "mask" that i've gotten so used to putting on EVERY morning...It's the way I hide...it's a sad attempt to try to look flawless...it's hard to be a person with acne...I can't stand to see people with perfect clear glowing skin...It makes me even more crazy when I know they fall asleep with their makeup on while I spend forever in the bathroom every night trying painful face med's. Grrrr....Oh, and pirates of the carribean is a good movie...I hope you weren't being sarcastic...lol. smile.gif

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I wasn't being sarcastic biggrin.gif I love pirates of the carribean biggrin.gif

I know how you feel darling, I know how hard it is. But unless you try to do it it's not going to get better. People feel better after showing their real selves, and being accepted just the same.

You can't keep pushing people away when you have acne can you darling? I know you don't want to end up alone and bitter hehe biggrin.gif

The longer you keep doing what you're doing, the harder it is going to get. You can't keep putting on a "mask", because that's not who you are and the people that care (about your acne) don't matter, and the people who matter, don't care

I'm sure if I saw you without your "mask" on I would like you just the same. You have to accept that this guy will like you for who you are, otherwise it will get harder and harder and you will feel worse.

I hope things work out, if you ever need to talk just PM me or email me *hugs* wub.gif

edit: You're studying psychology (oh how i envy you), so I'm sure you know how to help yourself already and you just don't want to do it... I'd love to major in psychology one day, sooo much cry.gif

#5 adultAcne

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Posted 24 February 2005 - 12:24 PM

QUOTE(amandakay_6 @ Feb 21 2005, 09:31 PM)
I have to get this off my chest...I've been a total B*word for about four days now...I hope I'm not alone on this...I have strange acne...one week it's "okay"...and the next week...it's horrible...and my MOOD goes along with how broken out my face is...Clear weeks...happy and care free...broken out weeks...well, no one better look at me, talk to me, or attempt to do anything that might, just might, rub off ANY of my makeup! So, I've been so mean to my overly nice "guy" that I'm sort of seeing (yeah, it's complex) I don't let him come over...I don't let him look at my face...I'm totally heartbroken about this...I wish that I could just be like "the hell with it" you love me for me...but I push him away and, of course, he takes it personal...Is it normal to be so hateful to EVERYONE when your broken out?...or am I displaceing my anger on others when I'm really mad at the fact that I can't fix my horrible skin?

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It seems to be "normal" for some females to take their bad moods out on the world... thereby pushing people away and alienating themselves. I don't know if it's culture or genetics that's the cause of it. But, one thing is true, nothing good comes out of it. There is nothing wrong with your feelings... just don't let them result in actions that are harmful. If you want to lash out, lash out at a pillow.

#6 Angelina_jr

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Posted 24 February 2005 - 03:18 PM

Hey, I totally understand how you feel. I've always made excuses from seeing guys anymore pretending I don't feel the same anymore and want to "just be friends" when really I just could never bare them seeing me without my mask on either. I am exactly the same, and put on my makeup exactly the same way every morning, its become a ritual. So much so that when friend suggests having a girls night in, or if i go out and friends say "hey its ok just crash here" they dont get it that just the thought of staying over anywhere totally freaks me out as I know i'd panic in the morning and feel I look like a monster redface.gif
Hopefully eusa_pray.gif my skin will clear up enough soon that i can at least stay at a friends, let alone a boyfriends.

Goddamn acne, people with a clear complexion don't know how lucky they are.

Sorry for being all down guys, havin a tough day
love angie xxx eusa_angel.gif

#7 Guest_Zitro_*

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Posted 24 February 2005 - 03:46 PM

In 2001-2004, I had mild depression, I never knew I had it, but I was sure it was causing me a lot of social problems and hating life.

As for you amanda, your situation is not silly, when I had bad flareups, I felt awkward around friends. Believe that your friend likes you as the person who you are (therefore a friend) and that he won't get turned off by more zits, althrough he can get turned off by the way you act around him because of it.




#8 Pika

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Posted 24 February 2005 - 06:06 PM

wow amanda dont push him away because of that, he might think u dont like him or some shit.. tell him whats going on n stop hidin

#9 amandakay_6

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Posted 24 February 2005 - 08:52 PM

QUOTE(Pika @ Feb 24 2005, 07:06 PM)
wow amanda dont push him away because of that, he might think u dont like him or some shit.. tell him whats going on n stop hidin

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Thank you everyone! smile.gif I don't feel so strange and alone in the way I feel now!..

zitro leirbag nanreh, what you said was totally true! My acne doesn't turn peolple away...it's how bitter and sad I am because of it...life is too short to act so childish.

Angelina_jr, I've done the same thing!..Not crashed at friend's homes just because I knew that they would see me without my "mask" On...I live in a dorm and, sadly, I have to wash my face in a public restroom...I hide my face when I walk back to my room because I don't want anyone to see my acne...isn't that sad sad.gif

Guider, thank you...what you say is true...it will get more difficult if I keep acting the same...It would be good to let down my guard...I think I may take your advice smile.gif

#10 Guider

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Posted 24 February 2005 - 10:04 PM

QUOTE(amandakay_6 @ Feb 25 2005, 02:52 AM)
Thank you everyone! smile.gif I don't feel so strange and alone in the way I feel now!..

zitro leirbag nanreh, what you said was totally true! My acne doesn't turn peolple away...it's how bitter and sad I am because of it...life is too short to act so childish.

Angelina_jr, I've done the same thing!..Not crashed at friend's homes just because I knew that they would see me without my "mask" On...I live in a dorm and, sadly, I have to wash my face in a public restroom...I hide my face when I walk back to my room because I don't want anyone to see my acne...isn't that sad sad.gif

Guider, thank you...what you say is true...it will get more difficult if I keep acting the same...It would be good to let down my guard...I think I may take your advice smile.gif

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*hugs* I hope you take everybodies advice darling eusa_angel.gif and I also hope everything goes well and gets better for you

Tell us all how good it goes wub.gif

#11 amandakay_6

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Posted 24 February 2005 - 11:12 PM

QUOTE(Guider @ Feb 24 2005, 11:04 PM)
*hugs* I hope you take everybodies advice darling eusa_angel.gif and I also hope everything goes well and gets better for you

Tell us all how good it goes wub.gif

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Thank you, smile.gif Everything is better...I'm trying to be more light hearted about the whole acne problem...Even though I can't stand acne...It's part of me...and who I am...and if someone can only love 99% of me...then I don't want them to be a part of my life in that way...I think that most relationships are sadly based totally on physical aspects...It just seems so empty...wow, I got really off subject...haha.

oh, and the movie "endless sunshine of the spotless mind" is GREAT! biggrin.gif

#12 Melchior

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Posted 24 February 2005 - 11:21 PM

QUOTE(amandakay_6 @ Feb 24 2005, 11:12 PM)
Thank you, smile.gif Everything is better...I'm trying to be more light hearted about the whole acne problem...Even though I can't stand acne...It's part of me...and who I am...and if someone can only love 99% of me...then I don't want them to be a part of my life in that way...I think that most relationships are sadly based totally on physical aspects...It just seems so empty...wow, I got really off subject...haha.

oh, and the movie "endless sunshine of the spotless mind" is GREAT!  biggrin.gif

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Hey, if it makes you feel better, there are guys out there that don't base their love on physical aspects. I don't, so there's likely many other guys that don't either! Of course it's nice to feel loved, but why would you want to be loved because of your body or face... I mean it's not who we really are, just a vessel IMO. Besides, looks always "fade" or change easily for most, you don't want to be with someone whos opinion of you and love for you will change at the drop of a hat... right? biggrin.gif

You'll do well, it's sad to see you get bitter, but it's definately understandable. Use these experiences to better yourself, which is not to say you were bad in the first place, mind you, at least I don't think so. biggrin.gif

#13 natalie85

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Posted 25 February 2005 - 01:53 AM

hey,
OMG you have the exact same problem as me... EXACT!!!!! i thought i was the only one! im seeing this guy too for a while and i push him away cuz of my acne.. i dont know if he caught on to my insecurities yet.. probably has and that freaks me out!! im also a psych student!! i get so self conscious when we have to go somewhere and spend the night.. i hate it cuz i dont want him to see me the next morning i look horrible!!! i really want this feelign to go away..cuz these hopeless feelings are fairly recent ( 6 months ago) ..since i started using bp/proactiv ruined my skin!!!
i have a makeup ritual every morning tooo and it gets soooooo annoying.. i dont even feel like goin out sometimes cuz i have to do my makeup to cover up the acne and red marks!! ahhhhh! drives me crazy.. makes me feel soo insecure that i just wanna cryyyyyyy.. anyways i just vented some crazy emotions..wow!
well just so you know your not the only one.. im right here with you girl eusa_sick.gif

#14 Guider

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Posted 25 February 2005 - 01:55 AM

QUOTE(natalie85 @ Feb 25 2005, 07:53 AM)
hey,
OMG you have the exact same problem as me... EXACT!!!!! i thought i was the only one! im seeing this guy too for a while and i push him away cuz of my acne.. i dont know if he caught on to my insecurities yet.. probably has and that freaks me out!! im also a psych student!! i get so self conscious when we have to go somewhere and spend the night.. i hate it cuz i dont want him to see me the next morning i look horrible!!! i really want this feelign to go away..cuz these hopeless feelings are fairly recent ( 6 months ago) ..since i started using bp/proactiv ruined my skin!!!
i have a makeup ritual every morning tooo and it gets soooooo annoying.. i dont even feel like goin out sometimes cuz i have to do my makeup to cover up the acne and red marks!! ahhhhh! drives me crazy.. makes me feel soo insecure that i just wanna cryyyyyyy.. anyways i just vented some crazy emotions..wow!
well just so you know your not the only one.. im right here with you girl  eusa_sick.gif

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You should take everybody elses advice to darling eusa_angel.gif It really is great advice

And I wanted to let you know that we're all right here with you to eusa_angel.gif

I hope things work out for you eusa_angel.gif *hugs*

#15 amandakay_6

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Posted 25 February 2005 - 10:17 AM

QUOTE(natalie85 @ Feb 25 2005, 02:53 AM)
hey,
OMG you have the exact same problem as me... EXACT!!!!! i thought i was the only one! im seeing this guy too for a while and i push him away cuz of my acne.. i dont know if he caught on to my insecurities yet.. probably has and that freaks me out!! im also a psych student!! i get so self conscious when we have to go somewhere and spend the night.. i hate it cuz i dont want him to see me the next morning i look horrible!!! i really want this feelign to go away..cuz these hopeless feelings are fairly recent ( 6 months ago) ..since i started using bp/proactiv ruined my skin!!!
i have a makeup ritual every morning tooo and it gets soooooo annoying.. i dont even feel like goin out sometimes cuz i have to do my makeup to cover up the acne and red marks!! ahhhhh! drives me crazy.. makes me feel soo insecure that i just wanna cryyyyyyy.. anyways i just vented some crazy emotions..wow!
well just so you know your not the only one.. im right here with you girl  eusa_sick.gif

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WOW, proactiv ruined my skin too! And my skin was "okay" until about a year ago...(I think my acne is linked to stress, college will do that to a person haha) You're not alone...trust me...I've lost so much of my life to acne...I would still "go out" with my friends...but I would always try to hide or stay in the background...because of how insecure I was, and still am...and yes, the makeup ritual gets SO OLD...Sadly, in the past I've been unable to keep eye makeup on because I was CRYING will trying to cover my acne! It's hard...when you don't feel good about yourself...to be happy with everyone else in your life...even if you try, they still pick up on your true emotions...Just stay strong...you're not the only one that feels this way. *hug* smile.gif

#16 Angelina_jr

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Posted 25 February 2005 - 02:46 PM

QUOTE(amandakay_6 @ Feb 25 2005, 04:17 PM)
WOW, proactiv ruined my skin too! And my skin was "okay" until about a year ago...(I think my acne is linked to stress, college will do that to a person haha) You're not alone...trust me...I've lost so much of my life to acne...I would still "go out" with my friends...but I would always try to hide or stay in the background...because of how insecure I was, and still am...and yes, the makeup ritual gets SO OLD...Sadly, in the past I've been unable to keep eye makeup on because I was CRYING will trying to cover my acne! It's hard...when you don't feel good about yourself...to be happy with everyone else in your life...even if you try, they still pick up on your true emotions...Just stay strong...you're not the only one that feels this way. *hug* smile.gif

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You're right hun stress has a huge affect on my skin too but then again when my skins better i feel happier and less stressed, so i look happier etc etc its a vicious circle but the best advice I can give anyone is to try and appreciate your good aspects instead of getting frustrated and upset about your skin. As i know how easy it is when putting on ur makeup, spending hours trying to cover up horrible marks when it just seems to look worse and worse!!

I know its really hard, and in the past i've avoided seeing people, stopping and talking to friends in the street I havent seen for ages purely because I feel horrendous..and couldn't bare them looking at me, this went on for about two years and I've now realised how much of a reclouse i'd become and i've said no more to it and kicked myslef up the @ss.
Recently i've met up with friends alot more, joined the gym, stuck my head up and thought "fook this" and smiled for a change! I feel so much happier now and finally my skin is slowly getting better. Think its psychological!! So just hang in there u guys and remeber to keep ur chin up and smile

Love ya'll, angie xxx xxx xxx wub.gif





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