9 replies to this topic

[arya]

I'm posting this in the emo forum, as it seems appropriate....I'm feeling so down. Agh, you don't know what i'm going through right now. Just two days ago i booked an appointment to go and get accutane (I was in one of my depressed moods, I was like screw Diane, I'm gonna get accutane and get rid of this monstrosity once and for all). Then I thought about it with a crlear head and was like no I'll stick it out for another 3 months....But today, again I don't know...I want to go on Accutane. I'm so fucking depressed guys. I keep scaring like anything. Any little pimple, I scar. In the areas where I was clear just 6 months ago, are scared like the rest of my face (and I'm not talking red marks, but full on indentations, pits, etc etc etc). I just can't deal with it anymore....I'm just thinking, if my acne is the kind that scars, isn't it best for me to just take accutane??? I just want to hide when I see my face in any kind of light. I want to be in the dark all the time. I think about it constantly. I hate this guys.....it's ruining what's supposed to be the best years of my life...why the fuck can't it go away...and I also went to a clinic and it appears there's not one fucking place in vancouver that can actually do something for scars. Just stupid CO2 lasers and things that don't work, or make it worse.....I literally feel my heart sink these days when I see ppl with clear skin and feel cursed. I know some ppl have it worse than I do, but I can't help feeling like shit.
sorry for the long rant, and thanks for reading....I know you guys understand, I don't say anything like this to anyone I know, coz no one understands.

[raylene319]

Im so sorry for what ur going through. I dont have acne really bad but enough to make me want to hide and be depressed. It seems that nobody understands what ur going through everyone around u is always like its not that bad ur over reacting. Its hard to understand what this does to a person. It can ruin ur life and make u sad all the time. I hate to be around anyone and when i do im nervous all the time thinking they r looking at my acne. I am always envious of people with clear skin im like what would that be like. Maybe what u need to try is something thats not so harsh and more gentle. What is ur acne like is it cystic or what? Im here if u need to talk.

[Red_Butterfly]

if it's scarring you DON'T HESITATE and get a prescription for accutane.

[adultAcne]

arya, I really feel for you. I know the pain. I don't know what your regimen is, but might I suggest something to try before accutane, or with accutane: just start trying ALL the popular regimins that you've heard about that have a high chance of working AT THE SAME TIME. Yes, if one ends up working, you won't know which one it is, but who cares, at least you'll be clear! Later, you can slowly eliminate one at a time to see which one was most repsonsible for clearing you up. Or, doing all the regimins might have a synergistic affect... each one contributing to the overall success. I would do all the health-related regimens, they're all good for you anyway. Then, do 15 grams B5/day, EFA's (essential fatty acids), a little BP, a little SA, exercise, relaxation and stress reduction exercises, mild long-term liver cleansing, digestive enzymes, sulfur, etc.. Do them all at once and who cares if you don't know exactly which ones are working since they are all genrally good for you anyways. Yes, your life is passing you by and so make haste. Don't do one thing at a time, do them all. You can do all the health related stuff w/o worrying about OD'ing or interferrances between them. I'm about to add immune supplements to my arsenal, like colostrum and olive leaf extract. Accutane scares me because of the stories of depression but I would still do it anyway as a last resort.

Good luck and be STRONG!

[ben100604]

Arya, I know how you feel. Acne has basically stopped me enjoying my life for a long time. Accutane is a scary prospect, I saw a derm about 3 weeks ago and I was told that If i dont clear up on my meds in the next coupla months then I'm going to have to go on the tane. I was give an information booklet and it suddenly all seemed real and scary that I may have to go on it. If nothing else is working for you the way you want it to, then the only thing to do is try the tane to stop your unhappiness. Everyone on here has moments where they feel that life isnt worth living and that theres no future, but you just have to say to yourself that you have to keep on going. Dont give up when one treatment doesnt work, just be calm and move on to the next one. Thats all you can do, anything else will make you even more unhappy. Keep your appointment with the derm and discuss accutane with them

[Polka]

accutane isn't the ultimate cure. I think you have to treat your depression just as much as your face.

Goodluck, because I never was able to go on accutane and have a messy scarred face as a result.

Keep us posted dear.

[ben100604]

Polka, how come you werent able to go on accutane?? If you dont mind me asking

[the.ronin]

if it's scarring you DON'T HESITATE and get a prescription for accutane.

indeed it may not be the ultimate cure, but it can fortify a social life and solid confidence again.

I'll be honest, it saved whatever life I had left, and has put me to where I am today, in a social context of course.

[arya]

Thanks everyone.....made me feel better..
Raylene, I'm actually not using anything harsh these days. I use cetaphil and baking soda, which is quite good. And yes, although it's not that severe, it's on the more severe side of moderate cystic acne. I will PM you, we can both rant and rant about evil acne...hehe.

Adultacne, thanks very much for the suggestions! I honestly don't think that any topicals will help, coz nothing in the past as helped, but what you say about cleansing the liver, etc etc...I just started to take Zinc and Milk Thistle for internal cleansing..let's see how it goes. And like you said, even though I'm taking the bcp Diane, I don't care that i'm trying these ones out, even if I don't know what (may) help the acne, as long as it helps, I'll take it!!!!!!

Ben, I think i'm in the same position as you. Even 3 months ago, when I was given Diane, I'd asked my derm that if this doesn't work I'm going on accutane. In fact, I'd initially asked her if I could go on accutane, but she said there are lots of harsh side effects, so she said try the Diane out first. I agreed, even if I knew that about accutane.....but now I wish I'd just taken accutane....S214, Zitro and Apock, you're right that if it's scarring and the fact that I can restore my confidence, I shouldn't even hesitate to try accutane. But right now, I feel like I don't have too much active acne...it's just the fact that I have the kind of acne that scars...so, is it okay to take it even when you dont' have active acne??? I would LOVE to...but is it even possible. I mean, for srue, I'm not completely clear, but just a few zits here and there..(guess the diane is helping...)

Polka, I don't think I'm suffering from clinical depression as such...it's just one of those phases that I go through....when you look in the mirror and you just feel like crap...seing all those indents and stuff, that's what makes me depressed. Usually, I'm quite happy and deal with it pretty well. THat's not to say that I don't NOT think about it...on the contrary, I ALWAYS do, but I try to just live my life as normal as possible.

I guess my biggest concern right now are my ugly ugly scars....makes me feel ugly...like Zitro said, they're really hard to treat..in fact most ppl would say it's NOT treatable. then you come here and read about all these methods, it makes me so hopeful, but most of them, ppl haven't even heard of here!!!!! I mean, what the hell is up with that? Do ppl not have acne in Vnacouver, canada???

Ah, anyway, maybe I should just make an appointment with my doctor in anycase and just talk to her about this. see what she says about accutane. THanks SOOOOO much for your responnses guys. it's hard these days on acne.org to get any response, so it's very much appreciated. I'll let you guys know what happens with my doc.