17 replies to this topic

[vitaminz]

(I posted this in another topic but decided to start a new topic of my own)

Has acne ruined your confidence?

Has it affected your dating chances?

I know what it's like to feel that acne is totally destroying your dating life! However, if you look around you, you do see people with zits who have boyfriends or girlfriends who are pretty zit-free. And mind you, the partner with zits often has moderate to even severe acne. I live in a city so perhaps i see more people each day, but i definitely do see such people.

Seeing such couples always inspired me so much. I don't deny that having zits lowers one's attractiveness. That is definitely true. Humans somehow have been evolutionarily programmed to have a predilection for attractive faces. However. there are many people who fall in love with their partners for deeper reasons. I was very inspired by my best friend who had really bad acne but who never let it lower his confidence. During his bad acne years, he went through two relationships with girls who were pretty and zit-free! They didn't mind his acne and loved him for who he was. My best friend is in good shape and is very humorous and an excellent conversationalist, and I believe these traits helped him a lot. Of course he tried his best to find acne treatment methods but all the while he never let acne pull him down. In fact, one of his girlfriends, when they were still in early getting-to-know-each-other phase, even went with him for a facial and after the facial, he came out of it with his face and zits really red because the worker at the facial somehow insisted on squeezing his zits or something. And his girl didn't mind one bit!

So i think it is important not to make everything into a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you have bad zits, don't become socially withdrawn and negative because that only worsens your image and self-esteem. We are what we think.

And i'm speaking from the perspective of someone who has moderate to severe acne for MANY years.

Good luck to everyone!

[Pika]

Has acne ruined your confidence? Used too, not as much now, but I still am a bit emotionally scarred. I just don't show it.

Has it affected your dating chances? What guy/girl wants a guy/girl with acne? It is looked on as ugly.

[arrshixerrr]

Yeah, there is a whole lot more to being an attractive person than having a clear face.

[Pika]

But if your face is covered in acne, do you honestly think that people find that attractive? I know hot people with acne, boys and girls, that get laid often. But thats like a zit or two, not a full face.

Its sad I know, this is how our society is. I didn't make it this way, don't hate on me.

[dressedinblack]

But if your face is covered in acne, do you honestly think that people find that attractive?

Yes, some people will. My current girlfriend couldn't give a damn how many spots i have. When i look at those gallery photos I honestly dont think the people look that much worse because of acne. I defintly wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with them because of it. Just wish i could look at myself and think the same..

[scarred4lyfe]

Yes, some people will. My current girlfriend couldn't give a damn how many spots i have. When i look at those gallery photos I honestly dont think the people look that much worse because of acne. I defintly wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with them because of it. Just wish i could look at myself and think the same..

Personally, I know I would look so beautiful if I had clear skin...If that one thing would change tommorrow...I would totally become a different person...even with one or two pimples...acne has completely distroyed my skin...I never imagine that it would get this bad. I mean I dont care how much people tell you looks does'nt matter ...in this world it does...People immediately see you and past judgements by how u look...I remember this one guy thought I did'nt wash because I had acne all over my face...I'm Socially challenged because of this stuff and it pisses me off everyday because inside I'm an out going and funny person,and it does'nt ever get the slightest chance to,"come out and play,"because of it!!!

[InfiniteQuestions]

Has acne ruined your confidence?

Honestly, yes it has. Theres no doubt in my mind that I would be THE MAN when my skin is clear again.

Has it affected your dating chances?

Well, I never had anyone say " I wont date you because you have Acne. " In fact, I have a girl all over me now wanting to get in a relationship, and she was still over me when my skin was crazy.

I agree its mostly all in your head and that it is possible to get women with Acne covered all over your face, but I keep telling myself I want to get clear again before I pursue relationships. When Im with a girl.. kissing her, holding her, whispering erotic things in her ear, I want acne to be THE last thing on my mind.

So when im clear again, Ill be back in the game. Im just benched right now.

[Nutopia]

I never think about acne when I'm with a girl, but my case isn't that bad either. I started Accutane 2 or 3 weeks ago cuz I have stubborn mild to moderate acne, and lately I haven't really been interested in chicks. I'm just "meh".

[Graphite]

I think my social life would be 15-20% better but if I lost all the fat I was planning on doing my social life would sky rocket 50-60% better.. I went from 235 to 161lbs but I still got a gut even though its not noticable I want it gone.. it bothers me.

[Guider]

MY life would be a LOT better if I had no acne, and it has ruined my confidence

[arya]

Yes to number 1, I feel like it has totally ruined my confidence (watever I had to start with, I'm really shy in the first place... )

Partly yes to number 2....because of my low self-confidence, I shun out guys who are interested in me. I feel like once they really see what my skin looks like, they'll go running. I really do. I know bla bla, if they're not shallow, they'll see beyond that, but I still feel that way. I feel like from far, they might go "hm, she's not bad" and then they'll come close up and see my scars and just go "ew."

[vitaminz]

yeah acne really can massacre your confidence! i remember that during one phase of my life, I would only muster up the courage to ask girls out when there was a brief period of fewer zits on my face.

It was so painful seeing a girl you liked but didn't dare approach or ask out because I feared that my zits would turn her off.

And yes scarred4lyfe, i think it really sucks when people who have never had bad acne and oily skin not understanding how difficult life is for us. One guy I knew got really pissed when this person he just met asked him if he washed his face because his face was so oily. People without oily skin just don't understand that for people like us, we take better care of our faces than they have ever done. It's just that out genes were such that no matter how much we cleaned and de-oiled our faces, we still had oily faces and still had zits!

And I really hope parents out there really take the initiative to help their children. I had bad acne but my parents never really sought out any treatment for me, thinking that it was no big deal and that it would go away. I wished they had brought me to see a derm when i was young, then I wouldn't have had these scars now. It was only when i got older and got a little money of my own that i started trying out creams and stuff and really trying to help myself. As of now, my family doesn't really know my struggles, physically and mentally, with regards to acne. I remember one period when I got really really bad acne and felt really depressed and frustrated. It got so bad that I stopped taking the bus and only took cabs because i was embarrassed. I tried to voice my frustration to my paarents but they thought i was over-reacting.

I'm really glad we have this forum for all of us to gain strength from each other. Many of us were unfortunately born having to fight an incessant battle with acne, but it's so comforting to know there are others like me out there, and that we're not alone in this.

thanks everyone!

[tm6]

yea i would say it lowers confidence, its easier for girls because we can wear makeup to cover up a lot of it, but it sucks in the summertime because you sweat and makeup runs and stuff, you dont want to go swimming or anything.

As for dating, i dont know if that affects it that much, and i know this is kind of stupid but i would jsut go to sleep at his house with my makeup on and then just wakeup early to wash my face and redo it before he woke up haha. i dont have super bad skin, but it bothers me a lot just because its stubborn and ive had it for so long, and the majority of my friends have perfect skin.

just remember youre your own worst critic!

[QuestionMark]

Holy Shit Vitamin. Thats insane. You must be a really strong person. Im shocked.

[GIMojo]

ruined my confidence? not so much, tm6 is right. you are your own worst critic. acne isnt too much of a turn off. Just have some humour about it and people can see that you arent insecure and they wont give a shit. there are pretty fine girls with acne out there, but they dont seem to get worked up about their acne and they are cool with it so im attracted to them

[vitaminz]

well Questionmark at the end of the day i just realized that ultimately you are the person who knows yourself best and you are the one ultimately responsible for your life so you have to be your own refuge and source of strength.

gotta keep fighting! acne is a curse, but we have to live our lives to the fullest!! although i always had zits, whenever i asked a girl out (and the nice thing is that they never turned me down, even if in the end we ended up just as friends) I would psychological prep myself by thinking, "Dude, you have nothing to lose. Just be yourself and enjoy each others' company!" And i think that helped immensely.

[cbfog]

When my acne was worse, and I was drinking a lot, I had a girlfriend and got laid every single day, usually more than once. :\ Now that my skin is sort of clear, I don't have a gf and haven't gotten any in like 5 months. It is terrible I say! That may have something to do with my cynical attitude towards women in general but there you have it. Kind of lame but oh well.

[Wickeh]

Heh... acne has ruined my confidence pretty much, although I don't have it much (just around the chin and mouth a bit) its mostly the red marks that annoy me. I look around me and see most people have clear faces so that pisses me off and ruins my confidence.

I tell you what, I've been liking a girl a grade lower than me for over 2 months. A couple of friends say they know for sure she likes me (she looks at me -or gives me some quick glances- and whenever I catch her doing so she turns away or smiles to the ground, her best friend sometimes giggling when that happens, fiddling with her hair n stuff etc etc). But basically... because I have a bit of acne (and dont see myself as a 'hot' person) and pretty much no-one around me has I just cant believe she really likes me. I'm pretty introvert and don't have the guts to do anything, I don't even know what to do.

So yeah, acne is ruining a part of me at this very moment even though I have mild acne compared to a lot of people here.