3 replies to this topic

[~TEPL0~]

Once in a while, I'm in one of those moods where everything happens slowly. My body is completely relaxed, and I feel every breath of air, I sense the texture and unique sound of every object my body comes in contact with. Then I realize I exist.

I walked slowly up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Every step reverberated upwards until the sound reached the top floor. My footsteps reassured me that I exist.

I took a walk after my room mate and his girlfriend came home. A slow walk through Union Square. When I returned, his girlfriend was talking in a quiet voice about problems with her room mate. I wonder if they talked about me earlier? The lights were off in the entire apartment, they were getting ready for sleep.

Before the walk I was in bed, and made a phone call. There was no reason for the call, just to find out how my friend was feeling. I just wanted to listen. I wasn't interested in talking about myself.

I spend too much time telling people about myself, like I need to impress them in some way. Day to day, I have talking points which I like to hear myself say to people. But what's the use of telling people things about me, for the sole purpose of making sure people know that I'm unique? They will know all they need from my personality. I will just listen. Slow down, and listen to every word. Because I've heard myself enough, now I want to hear others. I'm just an ordinary human being, with human feelings. I relate to people on a human level. This is the true essence of the "being yourself" everyone talks about.

When you slow down to experience the nature of the environment around you, you confirm your existence, and feel at home in the world. The city is all a big theater.

I hope to be forever at peace with myself, so I can listen. It's so rewarding to listen to others.

I wanted to say something about how and why I'm feeling this way, but I'm not going to, because I would like to keep this a personal experience. Even if I do tell you, it still won't mean much.

[Loro]

what your talking about is a moral of the early romantics(back in shakespear's day)

[the.ronin]

I've realized the same thing to some extent, on a different plane of comprehension I guess you could say. Opposite of what you do, though very similiar in context basically, I began to listen to myself more. I take what people tell me and apply it to my own awareness of reality, sort of like a double perspective, or an agreement or difference of perspective. It keeps me on top of things, lets me know I'm alive, and that I can see things from all angles. It's helped a lot with confidence and coping with the fact that I am who I am and that nothing will ever change that. So I kind of get where you're coming from man.

You ever thought about becoming a psychologist? Might be worth looking into....

[~TEPL0~]

everyone is a psychologist