8 replies to this topic

[dressedinblack]

Hiya all. Hope its ok to sort of introduce myself in this way, I thought i'd finally join up to a forum such as this and find out about other peoples experiances to do with acne, as it's affected my life in quite a big way. It's quite comfating to know that i'm not the only one ho feels so down because of this, because at times as i'm sure most of you know, it feels like we're the only person on the planet to be going through this, right? I'm 20 now, and am still suffering from what i'd call mild acne, i don't have groups of spots in any 1 place, its mainly just a few spots around my lower facial area, and on a pale face like mine, makes them look 10 times worse, but I have quite a few red marks left from severe acne which i'd suffered with from about 14. I thought it would clear by itself when I got to my 20's, and although its alot clearer, still shows no sign of completly going, and i've convinced myself i'll never be free of it, which adds to the depression.

It's like, after so many years of crying over it, and feeling so down and useless because of it, it's going to take years to reverse the pyscological damage i've done to myself, thanks to mainly getting acne. It's a vicious circle from which i can't seem to get myself out of. One week they all start to clear, only for the following week to have a break out of them again, its a constant plague on my life, and there now seems to be no way out of it, as i've tried pretty much everything to stop them as far as medication and such goes. Lately i've been changing my lifestyle and have started eating healtheir food, drinking water each day, and taking vitamins in an attempt to get healthier skin and in turn prevent more spots coming.

It's the most frustrating thing in the world, not being able to life your life the way you want to, or be who you want to be, because of some red bumps on the skin which you can't prevent, it makes me want to scream at times. I try to trick myself into believing it isn't all that bad, i'm still a human being afterall, I deserve to be treated the same as anyone else regardless of what I look like, but the problem with that is, the world has come to be in such a way, that we are led to believe that looks count for everything, and we have to be good looking to succeed. TV, radio, adverts, all sorts of media we are exposed to everyday, it in some way makes me feel more insecure about myself. It makes me so infuriated sometimes.

I'm sure most of you here can relate to all of which I feel, and I feel sorry for anyone else who has to suffer this pain day after day, its a living hell and I wish more than anything it will end someday soon. I've been asked out to a friends birthday party this weekend, and like every other occasion i've been invitied to, I have to decide whether i want to go based on how i feel about myself due to acne. Doesn't it just really suck so bad?

I don't really talk about this sort of thing to anyone really, never have, if i'm honest it's probably due to shame. I mean, as a man i feel quite ashamed to admit that i feel this way because of a condition which is steriotyped as a "stupid adolesant problem" thanks again TV! I've had a few girlfriends over the years, i've managed to get friends, so i can't be that ugly, but still that doesn't seem to register with me, or improve my self esteem no matter how many times I tell myself that. People tell me i'm not ugly, girls tell me the spots don't matter, why doesn't it make me feel better??

So yes, I wish for things to get better, i lay in bed wishing i'll wake up and feel good about myself, I hide away in my room too much, I've put my life on hold until they go away, and to all of that I just want to say... *sigh*

Anyway, i guess thats enough for now, its unusual for me to open up so much, but I thought this is as good a place as any to do so, although I admit i'm worried about getting flamed in some way. So hi, i'll visit here from time to time.

Andy

[Psychocandy]

That's very constructive, David.

Anyway, Hi dressedinblack. And also, in my opinion others can't improve your thoughts or reverse them if you're not willing to fundamentally do that. But it's not at all a lost cause. It's quite possible and I wish you all the best.

[MartinaL]

if you ever need anything...we are here..

[(eLLe)]

andy, totally sympathy with you. *hugs*

have confidence in yourself. tell yourself that you're brilliant, happy, and beautiful! say it out loud. at least it makes me feel better.

[dressedinblack]

You're screwed.

I'm sure you have a good reason for saying that so i won't ask.

Thanks all.

[lightning_king2000]

20 is still young, You still might grow out of it.

[~Emma~]

Thanks for sharing Andy, a lot of us can relate to your story. When I was young people used to comment on how lovely my skin was, that hasn’t happened in a really long time. I don’t let it slow me down but from time to time I do secretly wish I had that kind of skin again, just once.