34 replies to this topic

[mari]

you're all fab! thanx, and you are a sweetheart! x

[Red_Butterfly]

Last night I found out there is hope....I was talking to my bf on the phone and I told him I couldn't see him because I was sick, which is true. But also I haven't seen him in 3 weeks because I have been coming up with excuses since my face looks awful. I took a shower right after I got off the phone with him, and started crying. I wanted to see him but I didn't know what he would think. Right when I got out, there was a knock at the door. I was like crap, I hope that is not my boyfriend. I couldn't even begin to imagine the humilulation if he saw me like this since he's never seen me without makeup, let alone with my face this bad. So as pathetic as it was, I didn't answer the door. Then my phone rang. My roommate answers it and hands it to me...it was my bf telling me to go answer the door. I had no choice so I opened the door and he had a bottle of wine and flowers for me. I couldn't believe it. But he didn't care about my acne and being sick. We ended up having wonderful night, and to think I could have missed out on it!

aaw...if my bf was like that...my acne wouldn't matter so much.

[MartinaL]

I would say enjoy your times with your loving boyfriend which can distract you from your pain from acne. Honestly in your pic, I find you gorgeous and there may be many woman who would wish to have facial features like yours. Don't be too hard on yourself by being your toughest critic. I'm sure that your BF loves you and also finds you pretty, don't disappoint him, spend time with him happily. He finds you beautiful for who you are , and based on your posting here, you are a very symphatetic, compassionate, and sweet girl.

eventually, It'll be over, and you'll have the skin you always wanted, but even if you say that you are not clear as your avatar, I don't think that really matters.

thanks a lot for that, im getting better and im gonna try to have a great time with him this week....even though i know ill be looking in the mirror every second and worrying if i have to take off my make up if i want to go swiming or tan...haha FUCK...what do i do...nah but im really gonna try and not let it bother me for once....i mean, he doesnt care..but i do...look what he said last night to me


Me: even if you have to stare at an ugly face
Me: with red all over it
Me: and medicated
Me: and nasty
Him: which i don't, first of all
Him: and no martina, i dont care
Him: it doesnt bother me
Him: i'm not in love with your face and what it looks like on tuesday
Him: or what it looks like on thursday
Him: and i'm not gonna walk up to you and say "hey i dont like your face today because you put cream on it"
Him: because i dont care
Him: do whatever you have to to make you feel better about yourself
Him: but i'm going to love you no matter what you decide to do

[vampire_girl]

what your b/f said is sssssooooooooo sweet!!!!!!.... how lovely is he!!!!!...

everyone here is right.. you are gorgeous.. pimples or no pimples.. but i understand what youre saying about the fact that even tho he doesnt care about it YOU do... im the same.. and its hard to have a good time when youre just stressing about your face the whole time.

i had horrible acne and it was totally ruining my life and my relationship with my b/f because i kept hiding all the time...

anyway i went on the pill and am now almost finished my second month and suddenly i dont get cysts anymore!!!!!... i also changed my diet, no wheat no dairy and started using products from clearskin.com.au.... i still get small pimples here and there but i can deal with that!!... if youre not already on the pill, try it... because if i had known sooner i couldve saved myself YEARS of hell.

[Iarephel]

thanks a lot for that, im getting better and im gonna try to have a great time with him this week....even though i know ill be looking in the mirror every second and worrying if i have to take off my make up if i want to go swiming or tan...haha FUCK...what do i do...nah but im really gonna try and not let it bother me for once....i mean, he doesnt care..but i do...look what he said last night to me
Me: even if you have to stare at an ugly face
Me: with red all over it
Me: and medicated
Me: and nasty
Him: which i don't, first of all
Him: and no martina, i dont care
Him: it doesnt bother me
Him: i'm not in love with your face and what it looks like on tuesday
Him: or what it looks like on thursday
Him: and i'm not gonna walk up to you and say "hey i dont like your face today because you put cream on it"
Him: because i dont care
Him: do whatever you have to to make you feel better about yourself
Him: but i'm going to love you no matter what you decide to do

awww! See he loves you no matter what your acne looks like....just get out there and have fun!

[the.ronin]

Martina you look like a very pretty girl anyway...I don't think acne will ever change anyones impression of you. It sounds like your Bf is a very caring guy too, he really does love you.

Don't worry. You'll be fine.

[aliciany]

Martina, first of all, you're a very pretty girl. I totally understand how you feel. For example, I feel that I lost my beauty to acne, that if it weren't for pimples I would be beautiful, etc. My acne is not bad, and I have the feeling that yours isn't either. But, I started feeling that I had to be perfect, or else no one would love me/want to be with me. And you know what? The only person that stopped loving me is myself, which is very sad. Right now I'm just starting to get over it. I developed body dysmorphic disorder (bdd): became totally obssessed with my skin, I felt the need of looking at the mirror every 15 min, I felt that people were analyzing my skin, every pimple, big or small, was the end of the world. And let me tell you, I felt totally vain and stupid, and I'm not, I'm a graduate student!! Anyway, I started going to a derm in NYC, and she sounds like yours. Totally irresponsible, didn't care about anything, about the fact that her stupid medications only made my skin worse, and really I mean worse, for example, I had a cyst for the first time in my life because of retin a, I also developed a strange rash in my chin, etc. All of this only made me feel worse and become more and more obssessive. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, I started seeing a therapist and a psichiatrist. BDD responds to drugs like Prozac, Luvox, etc (serotonin reuptake inhibitors). I've been on Prozac for 1 month now and just this week I started feeling better. This is not over yet, but I'm getting there. If you obssess all day about your skin even when you know is not really bad, feel the need to analyze yourself in the mirror, feel ugly because all you see when you see yourself is pimples (not your pretty face), getting anxious about how your skin will look, cancelling social events, etc. I really urge you to see a psichiatrist. And to change derms, please. I started going instead with a gyno, as my acne is hormonal, and my skin has gotten better too. Or maybe is just the fact that I don't worry about it so much. I wish you the best of luck, and please tell yourself that the only person who thinks you're ugly is you. To everybody else, you're beautiful. AND we don't have to be perfect, no one is.

[MartinaL]

everything you have just said, is my life in a nutshell, thank you so much...i was on Lexapro, and anti depressant...and it did wonders....im just waiting to go back on it again, because i have all of those symptoms and im aware of it.....mirrors, everything!!!....and ive also been on the pill for like 3 months or so..yasmin..i dunnno if its done anything...but honestly, thank you for your reply and i have not been so sure of anything laely, except for me to go back on meds...i cleared up totally when i was on it, because my breakouts are hormonal too. im excited to be one with lexapro again...sad....but necessary...thanks everyone..

[MysteryGirl]

Martina, first of all, you're a very pretty girl. I totally understand how you feel. For example, I feel that I lost my beauty to acne, that if it weren't for pimples I would be beautiful, etc. My acne is not bad, and I have the feeling that yours isn't either. But, I started feeling that I had to be perfect, or else no one would love me/want to be with me. And you know what? The only person that stopped loving me is myself, which is very sad. Right now I'm just starting to get over it. I developed body dysmorphic disorder (bdd): became totally obssessed with my skin, I felt the need of looking at the mirror every 15 min, I felt that people were analyzing my skin, every pimple, big or small, was the end of the world. And let me tell you, I felt totally vain and stupid, and I'm not, I'm a graduate student!! Anyway, I started going to a derm in NYC, and she sounds like yours. Totally irresponsible, didn't care about anything, about the fact that her stupid medications only made my skin worse, and really I mean worse, for example, I had a cyst for the first time in my life because of retin a, I also developed a strange rash in my chin, etc. All of this only made me feel worse and become more and more obssessive. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, I started seeing a therapist and a psichiatrist. BDD responds to drugs like Prozac, Luvox, etc (serotonin reuptake inhibitors). I've been on Prozac for 1 month now and just this week I started feeling better. This is not over yet, but I'm getting there. If you obssess all day about your skin even when you know is not really bad, feel the need to analyze yourself in the mirror, feel ugly because all you see when you see yourself is pimples (not your pretty face), getting anxious about how your skin will look, cancelling social events, etc. I really urge you to see a psichiatrist. And to change derms, please. I started going instead with a gyno, as my acne is hormonal, and my skin has gotten better too. Or maybe is just the fact that I don't worry about it so much. I wish you the best of luck, and please tell yourself that the only person who thinks you're ugly is you. To everybody else, you're beautiful. AND we don't have to be perfect, no one is.

I think I may have that, aliciany. I feel I have to be perfect and constantly have to look at mirrors and I feel so depressed lately

[aliciany]

I recommend reading The Broken Mirror, by Katharine Phillips. It's a great book which really made me realize what I was suffering from. Good luck everyone!

[adultAcne]

martina, just something to think about, but you should try and ween yourself off the lexapro. i know we need that crutch every once in a while, but try and not stay on it too long because you are strong enough to handle whatever life brings you on your own. you have it inside of you and this is a fact. if you learn to do it on your own, you will be happier and stronger for the rest of your life. try it later when you are ready. take care.

[ayla]

Martina, first of all, you're a very pretty girl. I totally understand how you feel. For example, I feel that I lost my beauty to acne, that if it weren't for pimples I would be beautiful, etc. My acne is not bad, and I have the feeling that yours isn't either. But, I started feeling that I had to be perfect, or else no one would love me/want to be with me. And you know what? The only person that stopped loving me is myself, which is very sad. Right now I'm just starting to get over it. I developed body dysmorphic disorder (bdd): became totally obssessed with my skin, I felt the need of looking at the mirror every 15 min, I felt that people were analyzing my skin, every pimple, big or small, was the end of the world. And let me tell you, I felt totally vain and stupid, and I'm not, I'm a graduate student!! Anyway, I started going to a derm in NYC, and she sounds like yours. Totally irresponsible, didn't care about anything, about the fact that her stupid medications only made my skin worse, and really I mean worse, for example, I had a cyst for the first time in my life because of retin a, I also developed a strange rash in my chin, etc. All of this only made me feel worse and become more and more obssessive. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, I started seeing a therapist and a psichiatrist. BDD responds to drugs like Prozac, Luvox, etc (serotonin reuptake inhibitors). I've been on Prozac for 1 month now and just this week I started feeling better. This is not over yet, but I'm getting there. If you obssess all day about your skin even when you know is not really bad, feel the need to analyze yourself in the mirror, feel ugly because all you see when you see yourself is pimples (not your pretty face), getting anxious about how your skin will look, cancelling social events, etc. I really urge you to see a psichiatrist. And to change derms, please. I started going instead with a gyno, as my acne is hormonal, and my skin has gotten better too. Or maybe is just the fact that I don't worry about it so much. I wish you the best of luck, and please tell yourself that the only person who thinks you're ugly is you. To everybody else, you're beautiful. AND we don't have to be perfect, no one is.

excellent post!