6 replies to this topic

[HEH]

Today is the day i went to see the derm to see if i needed another month of accutane. i dont. anyway, my girlfriend came home with me but had to come to my appointment. we were in and out... but after my mom was like LET ME SEE YOUR FACE.... blah... i turned red and was like "mom we went over this yesterday... stop trying to look like a good mother because your doing nothing but belittling my esteem" my girlfriend sort of stood there..... then my mom pulled at my collar trying to look down my back for bacne which my girlfriend has no clue about because they are just redmarks. so i turned around grabbed her arm, forced her out the door and told her to get in the fucking car.... once we get in the car she starts talking about the redmarks.... and then she was like yeah, im glad you talked me into buying this stuff for you because you looked terrible before.... so i got really pissed off, and told her off for being such an ignorant whore, and being such a nasty bitch to me.... all of this in front of my girlfriend... how could she do that to me? for fucks sakes! she brings up personal things when people are around. i mean, i have talked about it with my girlfriend, she knows everything about it.... but for fucks sakes.

once my girlfriend left, i went to my mom and said that she really hurt me and what she said really effected me. her reply was "suck it up". Should i really have to lecture my own mother on the common principle of comunication?



Oh well, i am clear now.... only redmarks... not very visible.... anddddd i have my esteem and confidence back... but why did my fucking mom have to cut me down on my last week of accutane? And yes, my mom knows what she was doing because i have told her never to bring up my acne in front of people....





Sorry.... i needed to vent....

[imatoad]

hi kid, i had unsupportive parents, too.

they did nothing for my acne, yet, they had a lot of really nice things to say about the matter. when i did try to clear up my skin, my own mother sabotaged my efforts altho she did not succeed. probably there is a lot of freudian crap going on with your mom, like there was with my mom.

my suggestion to you is to not forget it. however, forgive her. and then be a nicer more compassionate parent to your children when you have them. thats really all anyone can do when their parents act weird.

[skunkanansie]

Rather than being told how damaging such indiscretion is, maybe she needs to be shown.
You should loudly bring up the subjects of wrinkles, gray hair or saggy boobs next time you are with her in the company of others. Perhaps sugest she requires botox. Really, if you have discussed how uncomfortable it makes you feel when she talks about your acne in front of others, and she is ignoring it, she is being very insensitive and deserves a taste of her own. If she does it again, remain calm, and promise yourself you will show her up in return one day soon.
My mum was pretty much the same, insensitive, cruel and disregarding of my feelings. She even told the neighbours when i started my periods. Why the hell, i will never know, i was mortified. Once i started to embarrass her in return she was a little more careful about what she said in public.
Might sound disrespectful, but hey, if she shows you
no respect how can she expect any from you?

[imatoad]

sabotaged? in what way?

hi euler, she wasnt helpful in many ways that pain me to remember. one of them was to call my doctor and tell them not to put me on accutane, which delayed my treatement for 6 months. the doctor eventually realized (because i had been seeing him for years) that she was being weird and he put me on it.

parents sometimes behave strangely. i think that maybe the op's mom probably wants to clip his wings because she likes having him around. if hes sad and vulnerable, hell be near to mom. if hes strong, hell fly away from the nest. its a selfish love. also, she might even be jealous. here he is, looking cool from what i see in his pic. hes young. hes got a girl. his skin is clearing. hes going to have fun! hello? young, good looking, with a girl? while his mom is old and at home.

i would just try to understand that. its kind of a mental disturbance in the parent for sure. but even tho its troublesome, i just tried to understand my moms jealousy and the duality of her selfish love for me and then i promised not to do it to my kid, if i ever had one, which i havent so far. so yea, i think its all anyone can do. to learn from that weirdness. and dont repeat it.

its a vulnerability in the parent. but try to see it from her perspective. how would you feel to be her? parents arent perfect.

to the op, i wouldnt recommend hurting her feelings. i believe she knows what she is doing. and shes going to be sad for it. i would just try to take a lesson from her. thats all.

peace.

[adultAcne]

Don't worry man, just remind her of it when you are picking her retirement home

[ayla]

parents sometimes behave strangely. i think that maybe the op's mom probably wants to clip his wings because she likes having him around. if hes sad and vulnerable, hell be near to mom. if hes strong, hell fly away from the nest. its a selfish love. also, she might even be jealous. here he is, looking cool from what i see in his pic. hes young. hes got a girl. his skin is clearing. hes going to have fun! hello? young, good looking, with a girl? while his mom is old and at home.

to the op, i wouldnt recommend hurting her feelings. i believe she knows what she is doing. and shes going to be sad for it. i would just try to take a lesson from her. thats all.

I agree. ^^^

I wouldn't point out her flaws, I think it'll only serve to enrage her more. She's obviously angry about something. Perhaps imatoad is on the money, it does sound like some sort of attempt to undermine any feelings of self-worth you may have accumulated.

Perhaps try a little reverse psychology?? When she talks about it/or tries to inspect you...revel in it. "I'm so glad you care about this Mom....what do you think? What should I do? I feel so much better when you take an interest in it."

Don't sound snide, be as sincere as possible=)

If she's trying to make you uncomfortable, or make you feel badly-she'll give up this approach if it's having no effect. If your GF is there, don't worry-you can explain that your Mom is fruit loop later. She'll understand, everyone has at least one relative.

BTW, who is in the avatar? And what's going on w/your Dad?

**hugs**

Ayla
xxoo