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#1 scarred4lyfe

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 03:08 PM

Well right now I'm in college and I just turn 18 in november and after spending 4 years in highschool...alone and pissed off mad.gif I'm really wanna get out and meet people...especially boys wub.gif . Deep inside I wanna be in a relationship and do "the love thing"...but I'm finding it very difficult to do that...when you have SEVERE CYSTIC ACNE with the lovely scars included..yes the makeup may cover up the scars (somewhat) but it does'nt cover up the pimples and it sure as hell does'nt cover up how I feel inside. Now too me when its comes to dating..confidence means everything (which I dont have) and most of all you gotta have the abilty to look some one directly in the eye and get close to them(which I can't) cry.gif

Can you be confident with a face full of painful pimples?...I say no...but others might dispute that... I need some advice people of acne.org.... Are you acne ridden and in love? if so..tell me about it cause as right now I feel alone and angry.. is it the acne or my attitude and lack or self confidence that is turning people off?

#2 Paul86

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 03:13 PM

Hey, I assumed you were a guy for some reason tongue.gif

Anyway, I know it's really hard to have confidence with acne. But don't worry. You're on accutane now. It won't be long til you are clear. You'll have all the confidence in the world. I read and commented in your accutane journal, btw.

#3 Loro

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 03:14 PM

worst thing to do is to despair, falling down that road is something you don't want to do, so just retain your own right of dignity and look for the ones that will look past that. They're there, you just have to look hard enough.

#4 Loro

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 03:15 PM

oh yeah, and I am sick with love right now, acne will fade believe me

#5 scarred4lyfe

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 03:18 PM

QUOTE(Paul86 @ Feb 15 2005, 09:13 PM)
Hey, I assumed you were a guy for some reason  tongue.gif

Anyway, I know it's really hard to have confidence with acne. But don't worry. You're on accutane now. It won't be long til you are clear. You'll have all the confidence in the world. I read and commented in your accutane journal, btw.

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God I hope so!!!! right now my acne at the "YUCK" point...The mirror is not my friend!

#6 scarred4lyfe

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 03:19 PM

QUOTE(Paul86 @ Feb 15 2005, 09:13 PM)
Hey, I assumed you were a guy for some reason  tongue.gif

Anyway, I know it's really hard to have confidence with acne. But don't worry. You're on accutane now. It won't be long til you are clear. You'll have all the confidence in the world. I read and commented in your accutane journal, btw.

View Post


God I hope so!!!! right now my acne is at the "YUCK" point...The mirror is not my friend!

#7 Polka

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 03:46 PM

I think you really must deal with your confidence issues asap. After so many years your confidence will rot away and you'll end up similar to me.


Speak to someone, never keep it inside, it will only stay there and build up.

byz


#8 punkrockprincess

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 07:32 PM

hey.. well, i cant say i suffer from severe cystic acne, and i am thankful. however i do have to deal with mild-moderate acne, and was put on accutane 5 months ago after a particularly bad flare up. i still go through the same emotional suffering and self esteem issues, i dont think theres a way to completely irradicate these things, only to deal with them. however, the point of this post was to let you konw that despite these things, i have found love. ive been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and although he's clear skinned and wonderful, he doesnt see me any differently or any less for having acne. he has seen me through my worst breakouts for the past five months, during the first of which my face was too painful to even cover with makeup and i was too depressed to even bother to try and cover it anyways. truly an unconditional love and one that im so grateful for. dont give up on love and dont become cynical. i believe that love will find everyone when the timing is right. for now, hang in there and let accutane do its thing for you. best of luck for a full recovery from the physical and emotional pain of acne, and for finding love!

Lisa

#9 (eLLe)

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 07:49 PM

here's something apock said awhile ago: don't go looking for love, let it come to you. smile.gif just a thought.

#10 o_Adam_o

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 08:23 PM

QUOTE((eLLe) @ Feb 16 2005, 01:49 AM)
here's something apock said awhile ago: don't go looking for love, let it come to you.  smile.gif just a thought.

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Well said cool.gif


"I wont let this build up inside of me"

#11 Graphite

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 09:02 PM

QUOTE((eLLe) @ Feb 15 2005, 09:49 PM)
here's something apock said awhile ago: don't go looking for love, let it come to you.  smile.gif just a thought.

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Same thing I say to myself and to my friends.

#12 Darth Hideous

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 09:41 PM

I always think confidence needs to be backed up by something. I mean, we're no longer on the gold standard any more for the monetary system, but the government does have reserves and all that to back up the currency (that's probably a bit wrong, so all you economists cut me a little slack here - it's complicated and I'm just a lowly engineering major who doesn't understand a thing about the monetary system). So what have you got that makes you feel confident - anything. And just hold on to that when you find you need confidence.

I've recently experienced what is actually analagous to a major monetary devaluation. I don't have anything to back up my sense of confidence anymore. Everything I once believed in has turned out to be false. But before I realized all that, the above technique seemed to work.

#13 Melchior

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Posted 15 February 2005 - 09:41 PM

I've been down a lot in the past, I too have had severe cystic acne, although now it's a bit calmer.

You know what though, sometimes I feel like my condition might have been good in some ways. I mean, I think most people run into a couple (or many) immature boyfriends and girlfriends, or very superficial people that they don't want to end up with. Acne may have kept those types of people away from me, leaving only the kind hearted and good people. Having low confidence can drive away even the good people though, it's something we really have to work on. I definately think I'm more confident now than I ever was, but I'm still shy and quiet, just not so self-conscious anymore.

Believe me though, there ARE guys who don't care about such things as acne, I know I don't in other people. The only reason acne bothers me on myself is because I felt it was an obstacle for me. The truth is acne isn't likely the thing that set me apart, it was my attitude and confidence issues because of it. You need to work at it slowly, assess yourself. Ignore things like acne, brittle hair, or maybe not so perfect teeth, things like this just don't matter. You need to assess yourself on what does matter, what will last with you? Who are you? I look at my aunts, uncles, grandparetns etc and the last thing that comes to my mind is that they sought each other out for looks, when you get older, looks will fade. But you'll still be smart, or artistic/creative/imaginative, funny, or nice or whatever. Do you see yourself as a good caring human being? This is what you should base your confidence on, not your day to day appearance.

I never had a girlfriend either but I feel pretty good right now, I feel like if I went outside and actually tried to find someone, I would.

Just a question though, do you want to get rid of your acne because you want people to think you're beautiful, or would you rather want your inner beauty to be most important? Getting rid of acne is fine, it's an imperfection that we would all rather not have, even if its just for ourselves. I no longer think acne is an obstacle for me though, because its only shielding me from the shallow people of the world, the people with real substance and character will look past it like many other things. I should pretend like it's not even there, I think we all should.

Not all guys base on looks, many do I'm sure, but I know I don't, so there MUST be many more like me. I'm also sure theres many girls that don't, that's who I want.

Tell me what you think of what I said or PM me if you want to talk about it. smile.gif

#14 scarred4lyfe

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Posted 16 February 2005 - 04:55 PM

QUOTE(Melchior @ Feb 16 2005, 03:41 AM)
I've been down a lot in the past, I too have had severe cystic acne, although now it's a bit calmer.

You know what though, sometimes I feel like my condition might have been good in some ways.  I mean, I think most people run into a couple (or many) immature boyfriends and girlfriends, or very superficial people that they don't want to end up with.  Acne may have kept those types of people away from me, leaving only the kind hearted and good people.  Having low confidence can drive away even the good people though, it's something we really have to work on.  I definately think I'm more confident now than I ever was, but I'm still shy and quiet, just not so self-conscious anymore.

Believe me though, there ARE guys who don't care about such things as acne, I know I don't in other people.  The only reason acne bothers me on myself is because I felt it was an obstacle for me.  The truth is acne isn't likely the thing that set me apart, it was my attitude and confidence issues because of it.  You need to work at it slowly, assess yourself.  Ignore things like acne, brittle hair, or maybe not so perfect teeth, things like this just don't matter.  You need to assess yourself on what does matter, what will last with you?  Who are you?  I look at my aunts, uncles, grandparetns etc and the last thing that comes to my mind is that they sought each other out for looks, when you get older, looks will fade.  But you'll still be smart, or artistic/creative/imaginative, funny, or nice or whatever.  Do you see yourself as a good caring human being?  This is what you should base your confidence on, not your day to day appearance.

I never had a girlfriend either but I feel pretty good right now, I feel like if I went outside and actually tried to find someone, I would.

Just a question though, do you want to get rid of your acne because you want people to think you're beautiful, or would you rather want your inner beauty to be most important?  Getting rid of acne is fine, it's an imperfection that we would all rather not have, even if its just for ourselves.  I no longer think acne is an obstacle for me though, because its only shielding me from the shallow people of the world, the people with real substance and character will look past it like many other things.  I should pretend like it's not even there, I think we all should.

Not all guys base on looks, many do I'm sure, but I know I don't, so there MUST be many more like me.  I'm also sure theres many girls that don't, that's who I want.

Tell me what you think of what I said or PM me if you want to talk about it.  smile.gif

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Well melchoir, by reading your post it really made me think.......I want my inner beauty to show and I feel that it cant come out because I have this acne...for example for a brief period a while ago my face had clear up...and overnight it was like I became a different person inside....even the people around me started noticing it....I was more outgoing and cool...I was happy inside and it radianted out!! But now that my acne has come back with avenges...I find myself...alone...in some sense I'm starting to like it to the point where I'm starting to dislike having any human contact...but I keep thinking to myself if I'd never had this acne.....would I have had more friends...had more fun...got better grades and I keep saying yes!!! maybe my problem is that I cant accept myself...so if I even met someone tommorrow who was willing to look pass this acne...I still would have that feeling like..... I was'nt good enough.




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