36 replies to this topic

[MartinaL]

I really can't take this anymore. I hate going to school and seeing all of my best friends with gorgeous skin. I can't stand that everytime i look at someone, its directly at their skin. I cant stand how i was absolutely skin care free and absolutely clear earlier this year....I can't stand that my depression and anxiety are getting worse everyday, but most of all...I can't stand mirrors.....i hope that everytime i look in one...they will be a little bit nicer...but now...everytime i look...i see red....fucking red...alll the time...im becoming obssesive and i just want it all to stop...i dont want to use products anymore like i used to in the summer and earlier..and i want to be frreee..free from all of this....I am my worst critic...and its taking over me....

[Pika]

Hi Martinal,
It looks like your skin is clear in that pic, even though it's not so close you don't look like you could possibly have a bad case.

I'm sure their are some cool kids with acne at your school, some even with bad acne. I know their are some at my school. Do what they do, don't let it bother you. Hold your head up high, act like you have self confidence and you can't even see your acne.

Even if a guy thinks your cute, he still wouldn't want to be with someone that is insecure.

Also, what are you using/taking? Do you have oily skin by any chance? I suggest taking antibiotics or B5, or do like I did, take both. Take Tetracycline, and by the time the 4 months is over, the B5 will be in full gear and you can say goodbye to any blemishes and eat without worrying 'will this break me out?'

[MartinaL]

Hey Pika,

thanks so much for replying...and yes there are a lot of kids with acne in my school, believe me..i look ...but it's just like so hard to deal...its all it i think about during the day, and no one would know it because i pretend like everythings fine...i one "most fun to be with" in my fucking grade...if anyone there knew that i was pathetic as hell...geez...

i know its dumb, and people tell me its not bad..but the way i SEE myself..is sooo warped....all i see is the wrong and no matter how hard i try, i cant get out...so whatev..i wnet to the derm like a month and a half ago..and she put me on

1. finacea in the morning
2.minocyclin pills
3. finacea at night...with either benzaclin right on top of that OR if im dry...Duac topical gel on top of the Finacea
4. Ive added Delna's regimen too...

I cant be the person i want to be with these marks...im not strong enough


thanks again Pika

[angelj]

Hey Pika,

thanks so much for replying...and yes there are a lot of kids with acne in my school, believe me..i look ...but it's just like so hard to deal...its all it i think about during the day, and no one would know it because i pretend like everythings fine...i one "most fun to be with" in my fucking grade...if anyone there knew that i was pathetic as hell...geez...

i know its dumb, and people tell me its not bad..but the way i SEE myself..is sooo warped....all i see is the wrong and no matter how hard i try, i cant get out...so whatev..i wnet to the derm like a month and a half ago..and she put me on

1. finacea in the morning
2.minocyclin pills
3. finacea at night...with either benzaclin right on top of that OR if im dry...Duac topical gel on top of the Finacea
4. Ive added Delna's regimen too...

I cant be the person i want to be with these marks...im not strong enough
thanks again Pika

listen babe i know exactly hw u feel, i had bad depression and i still got anxiety.
i always think i look shit no matter what, its well difficult to think other wise. i may think i look ok at home then, i see myself in like a shop window out on road and its fukin awfull. i think its a question of self esteem, and i workin on that.
god u sound just like me with the "fun to be with" thing i always do that. problem is i did it for so many years then got so depressed.
i think u need to fight this a bit at a time, itll take u a long time to overcome this but i know u can!
pm me if u wanna talk about it more

[pHlat]

i one "most fun to be with" in my fucking grade...

Oh what a tragedy! Sorry. You say that likes it's a bad thing when that should be a huge confidence booster for you. Obviously people like you alot if they think you're the most fun to be with. You should be happy about that, not sadder.

[MartinaL]

..thanks...and it is to an extenet..but then when i come home and hate myself....it feels like nothing at all...im just so hard on myself...and i hate my face

[marox]

You look gorgeous

I can understand that you feel bad, and people telling you otherwise does not really do anything to help, if at all - I can relate.

How are your treatments going? Are they having any progress? If you feel uncomfortable about the progress, speak up with your parents and get to see a derm and discuss your concerns - You will feel better being proactive about trying to make it better if your not sure your progressing.

Hang in there

[the.ronin]

Don't ever give up. Don't ever think yourself worse than others....you're very pretty martina. We only have one life to live and then its all over. I'm sure there's someone out there dying to meet you too

You're a better person because of all this, no matter what.

[MartinaL]

thanks a lot guys....i know and i have been going to the derm, and my treatments are whatevr...they fluctuate....i just get so down because i know what my skin can be, and it isnt that..and i feel so ugly ...all....the...time....

even though i have a boyfriend who makes me feel wonderful...it doesnt matter...martina thinks shes digusting and doesnt want this anymroe...

[hazelnut66]

Oh what a tragedy!    Sorry.  You say that likes it's a bad thing when that should be a huge confidence booster for you.  Obviously people like you alot if they think you're the most fun to be with.  You should be happy about that, not sadder.

IF YOURE GOING TO MOCK PEOPLE FOR BEING HONEST THAT THEY ARE UPSET WHAT DOES THAT ACCOMPLISH? YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE YOUR OWN ISSUES SO THINK FOR A SECOND BECAUSE IT'S NOT HELPING ANYONE WHEN YOU ACT LIKE THEIR PROBLEMS ARE PATHETIC

[pHlat]

IF YOURE GOING TO MOCK PEOPLE FOR BEING HONEST THAT THEY ARE UPSET WHAT DOES THAT ACCOMPLISH? YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE YOUR OWN ISSUES SO THINK FOR A SECOND BECAUSE IT'S NOT HELPING ANYONE WHEN YOU ACT LIKE THEIR PROBLEMS ARE PATHETIC

I was pointing out that it wasn't a bad thing but a positive one. Last time I checked, tellling somebody that something is good and should help their confidence is a nice thing to say.

[Mike Hawk]

I use benzaclin... if you need any help with that just ask

[MartinaL]

yea....make it work ....jk


i hate medications

[arya]

yea....make it work       ....jk
i hate medications

hey martina! I know how you feel. I'm 20, so in university right now, but I started breaking out in my senior year in high school, so I can TOTALLY understand. *hugs* I went from being crystal clear, to cystic acne that scarred..... i was devastated and I still think about it everyday...i try not to, but it's hard.. and no matter what ppl say, it's you who feels unattractive, etc etc. My self-confidence shot down after that and till today I feel cursed that i have to deal with this fucking problem in university. right now, I'm on Diane (a bcp) and using Delna's method AND Puredeming Intense Gel. lotsa red marks and scars...ugh, don't even talk about it...i ordered an SA peel, which is yet to arrive. Sooo, i'm doing all that I can to deal with this disease..and I just wanna say, hang in there...we're all in this together and just wanna say that I totally empathize with you. if you wanna rant, just PM me!!

[ayla]

Yes, mirrors can warp your image-well not so much the mirror, but the lighting. I'm willing to bet they have flourescent lighting at your school. EVIL!! Really though, those thing show every zit you've had for the last 5 yrs. You look better in your bathroom mirror at home, right?

Just don't look in the ones at school. Might sound too simple to work, but trust me-keep your head down (or turned) and walk quickly past them. If you can do your routine blind-don't even turn on the light in the bathroom at night (I don't).

All this might sound silly, but if you only look when you see yourself at your best-you have a more attractive internal perception of yourself.

Try it

Ayla
XXOO

[munkyblew]

omg you look wonderful, i cant even see how you COULD have acne, it doesnt make sense to me. over the summer i was SO PIMPLY it wasnt even FUNNY i looked like freakin rudolph.. i wouldnt wear my contacts bcuz i didnt like to see myself in the mirror, and i have hecka bad eyes.. i have clear skin now, but my insecurity remains, i still tend to wear dark baggy clothes and too much foundation, and i still dont wear contacts because of the mirror thing. having an ordeal like this can make or break a person, i think you will be all the better for it because at least you realize that you can get over it. just keep going and dont worry about your image, its ok it will go away in time i no you can get rid of your acne, i no you can...

[Cathedral of the Soul]

i hate medications

I hate putting drugs which damage my body into my system but I'm at the point where that is the price I'm willing to pay for clear, or clearer skin. I go in a few months to look at getting on accutane, scared to death to take that but what else is there to do?

[Nutopia]

What about takings pics of your face with a flash cam, an up-close pic. Sometimes you get a really bad pic... Please tell me that cameras distort you!

[MysteryGirl]

I really can't take this anymore. I hate going to school and seeing all of my best friends with gorgeous skin. I can't stand that everytime i look at someone, its directly at their skin. I cant stand how i was absolutely skin care free and absolutely clear earlier this year....I can't stand that my depression and anxiety are getting worse everyday, but most of all...I can't stand mirrors.....i hope that everytime i look in one...they will be a little bit nicer...but now...everytime i look...i see red....fucking red...alll the time...im becoming obssesive and i just want it all to stop...i dont want to use products anymore like i used to in the summer and earlier..and i want to be frreee..free from all of this....I am my worst critic...and its taking over me....

I feel the same way . I love seeing the pics of people on here though. Everybody is beautiful. I have some pics but I'm too shy to post them.

[girl3900]

I've found that very clean mirrors make me look horrible. I realize that's obviously what I look like in reality but I can't deal with that so I finger them all up and make them dirty and it makes me look a little more human. If I didn't do that, I don't think i could walk out the door. Try it sometime. And yeah, I think everyone with acne (and even those without) knows how horrible flourescent lights are. It's as if they magnify every red mark/pimple and make them even more red. It's a pain in the ass to try and not look at your face when you're trying on clothes and what not.