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OKay, so I've always dealt with a little acne. I never needed cleansing or anything like that since I percieved the problem as not great. Nothing has changed, at least nothing as changed to be worse...You guys may immedietely think "stress" but that's ridiculous! If it was stress, it would've been a little over a month ago when I had AP tests and homework to think about (but never really did....). I was probably never more stressed out in my whole life, but I still had a relatively smooth face.
Then vacation came and it started.
I don't know why...I'm perfectly chill. I've been eating better then ever as far as I know...(more fruit, veggies, lots of nuts like peanuts and almonds).But I know something has gone wrong because people are actually pointing out and saying how horrible my acne as gotten, which honestly Has Never Happened To Me. Today my mom said that my face looks awful, and I pretty much said that it's her problem since she won't take me to the doc/dermatologist rather cruelly.
A note while I remember: Genetically I AM NOT inclined towards acne. My older brother, who honestly has somewhat horrible hygiene+doesn't wash his face has 1/10 of the acne I have. It's not notable. My other older bro...okay, well, when he was 13 his acne was pretty bad and he still is obsessed with how ugly he thought he was with it. So maybe it's genetics? Strange that it should get that bad at 18. Otherwise, my mom has perfect if really typically old, livery looking skin, and my dad has never in his life had a pimple. The rest of my family has perfect skin, too. Maybe my mom and dad were, er, carriers for the ugly skin gene. (Just a stupid biology joke. I know there's more to it then that.)
My acne...(I'll post a pic if you ask, though my camera is lost so I have to use the crabby laptop webcam...) used to be very spotty. It used to never take up all of my face, rather it "migrated" to my chin, nose, jaw, and forehead but It Never was on more then two. Honest to God, if I remember correctly, there was actually only two or so really bad pimples on my face at a time. They were medium and ugly, but nothing bad like the ones I have.
Now the acne is everywhere...ranging from numerous (if at first unseeable) bumps on the side, where the hollow of my cheekbones are. This is new. Of course, now there's rather small sized, flat red (they look inflamed but they don't feel like it) splotches spotting the same spot. Here's the thing: even though the bumping is on both sides, the ugly, ugly splotches are mainly on the (my) right (they are enroaching onto my cheekbone), a little on the left. They go down to my right jawline where...weirdly enough, two HUGE, if only slight, bumps have formed. They are peculiar, and when they formed two weeks ago they hurt like HELL even though I didn't touch them at all. Now if I pinch them, they feel like nothing at all but they're still there, so they can't be the usual acne. They look Very unassuming, though look a little red from me touching them. There looks to be a third, new one besides the original two. These have, as I recalled, popped up before. There was a extremely awful, constantly painful big one on the edge of my chin that I never touched, but ended up scarring (the spot is red) anyways as it faded away. I think there was several, I mean a lot, more clustering around both of my lower temples that I have trouble not poking and squishing b/c my hair hides them.
My chin on the other hand Is kind of Really Bad (note: I usually do have rather bad chin acne...it's just worse now). There's a perfect dotted line of grayish, black acne on the middle edge of it, whilst the rest of my chin is actually pretty clear besides that bad one on the corner edge I talked about. My nose on the other hand is actually somewhat obscure regarding the acne, however, if you look closely there's some grayish, tiny blackheads that I used to pinch and did actually let out a tiny string of...blah. Ew. I did that months ago but I just tried it and nothing happened, probably because I've been using a blackhead cleansing facial scrub (reviews have admitted it's not good for acne, but none said that it inflamed it). Honestly, the only relatively noticable thing has to be the occasional red mark on the edges of my nostrils. Where do they come from?
My forehead is...just ew. Like everything else. It's actually fairly smooth and clear abet one obvious acne scar, however, on my left side three weeks ago a horrifically deep/large pimple had appeared. It was watery feeling, and it took about two weeks until a white spot appeared and I couldn't help but pop it. I hate to be graphic, but there was little to no liquid pus...just little, somewhat squishy white things (I guess this is normal but there were many of them, which has never happened) mixed in with the blood that had made the pimple big. It's now, of course, another scar which looks actually like the worse one I have ever had and will have. The thing is that, in another line, there's another big one two inches away angled to my mid brow, and another one two inches away from that one...wtf, guys? I know the popping prob does spread the pimples, but when I popped the biggie it just blew up, and didn't get on my skin...just ew...anyways, these two are smaller then the original but are still bumpy and red, and really extremely notable in that line of theirs.
Finally, the most peculiar thing is happens to be how much scalp acne I have. Well...unlike the trend with my acne worsening, it has gotten better to the point of me not even finding any. I used to just absent-mindedly go in and pop them shamelessly. Good thing I don't have dandruff/great thick hair that hides any scars and bumps, or it would have made me look more disgusting....
Anyways, the scalp acne still is a recent thing that has never at all happened before.It's just weird how all my acne is basically limited to my scalp and face. Or maybe it isn't, but guys, I have to say that my body is literally flawless. I wish I did instead of my face, though, so it's still depressing. The thing going for me, notable enough, has always been my otherwise somehow stimultaneous tan and bright skin tone and my genuine good looks that are totally ruined b/c of my acne so there's nothing to look at. Well, maybe it isn't that bad--my skin tone admittedly hides how much acne there really is, blending it in well so somebody not focusing won't actually notice them. But the acne is still there and getting worse, so I have to do something. There's a real problem, and some of this acne really is just peculiar, like the three huge, featureless bumps on my jaw.
Key things:
In middle school I got horrific hives that really were caused by a unknown. I know I wasn't stressed...I didn't care about studying or homework much, the As came naturally though I didn't care about my grades. I played games a lot. But the pain when they attacked my legs in swarms was enormous, and somehow are reminiscinct of the pain I get from the three on my jaw. I don't think it's the same, but these bumps (they're in other places but still blend in too well) are different from the pimples. Could it be something like a allergy?
Like to a food, like my mom keeps obsessing about...? (I started toasting up in the past month, without butter, some bread with cinnamon on it and then putting a little bit of peanut butter on it, so my mom thinks it's the pb...even though I haven't had any in days and my acne still worsens). I've been literally insane about a new bowl that I, in the past two weeks, concocted, with "mexican" mix veggies with some chili powder, sunflower seeds on top and a small strip of chicken. I have it daily. Trust me it's delicious. I don't use butter, or anything else then that. I honestly think it's pretty damned healthy.
The thing that I have constantly been eating for the past month (or more) has been Fiber One/Plus (whatever it is) honey cluster cereal. I've been pretty chill with it, thinking that it's a healthy choice and all, but really my acne was better when I ate things like sausage and eggs.
Of course, there's also skim milk. This could be apart of the problem (I've heard it's worse then whole milk for some reason) but my mom won't listen to me, as she is still obsessed with peanut butter being the problem. I have always, always drunk it for years. I don't think I have been drinking anymore...but indeed, I do have a cup with every meal. Why, of all times, would it turn on me now?
And the interesting thing is that I USED to rarely drink water (I'm surprised I didn't get dehydrated) , but I now drink cups upon cups of it! For weeks, now!
I've been drinking a little more soda...for a while I was ignoring it, and my acne wasn't a problem then as far as I know, but recently I've been grabbing at least a can a day...though most days I just don't. Soda=acne?
I've taken to eating nuts. I used to never. I find almonds delicious raw, and after falling in love with them I was pleasantly surprised to hear that they are supposedly good for your skin. Really?
It's been a month since I've eaten fast food, and as I've said my diet is "better", and I eat very little meat and nothing much that's greasy.
I'm repeating myself, but the acne is worse on the right side of my face+in under cheekbone area, moreso then anywhere else. I probably need to change my pillow cases more then weekly...Anyways, I think this is a obvious answer to my acne but there seems to be more to it b/c there's still bad acne in lines on my chin+forehead.
I've been using StrideX acne control pads for the last two weeks, and clearly they haven't helped. First was a natural something one, next was "maximum" soft touch 2% salicylic acid ones. I guess they have basically stopped whiteheads from appearing/or simply the ones that are pop-able (This is good?), but I think they have something to do with the red splotches under my cheekbones...? Really, maybe this cure is more cruel then the problem. Maybe that's what they mean by severe acne medication? Guys, I really do think that maybe these could be apart of my skin complications, mainly because my acne is really different then it usually is (usual: appearing and disappearing a week later...what I have just has stayed) I know that the pH could be imbalanced or the s acid could be disaggreable with my skin. I'll take action and immedietely stop using them to observe..(er, I just realized that they could be the problem...though I really did in fact have the "worse then usual" acne beforehand).
Anyways...that's honestly everything that I can think of with minimal effort. I'm really asking for advice and some enlightenment on why my acne has gotten so prolific...the medication+dirty pillow case thing can't only be apart of it. Right? I still never use any specific cleanser other then the scrub...(I guess it would be easy to think it caused the red splotches, though I don't think so since I go two weeks without using it, usually...) so I know I may need to be pointed to a good one, though the type of acne I'm getting (unless it's being altered by my medication) doesn't look although it would really be helped by it. And I definitely need to get another medication, of course.
I'd like to spare you guys, but I just remembered one other thing...hormones. For the past two (okay, maybe more) weeks I've been pretty keen on sex. I've been pretty...uh...horny. Well, maybe that's not quite it, but I've just been fondly thinking about a certain sexy guy and feeling just really quite great and fuzzy about him. Excited? I don't know. This is pretty damned new to me. I hope you can guess the rest...and no, I haven't been having the actual sex since they only "attainable" guy I've ever liked and actually knew in my life graduated this year+is really just relatively attainable compared to the guy I've been thinking about, since he was really the best. Valedictorian, a football player, gorgeous, has a "boss" personality, got best man award literally. I never thought about him inappropriately, though, so my hormones were at least not crazy then.
I've heard about testoserone (spelled wrong prob) logically being related to acne, but I don't know what that has to do with the female libido, so I need to research this. Maybe since I've allowed myself descend into such a shameless perversion and excited...I've become ugly?
And yeah, I know that sounds stupid. It's just something else that has never ever happened before. At least it's kind of hilarious...I mean, in theory, if I find out that my sexual drive is related to my acne (I think the sexual drive is kind of like stress in a way...?) and people find this out somehow, then...okay, maybe it's not hilarious. 
If you got through all of that, then I'm impressed with your patience and your dedication to helping people out with their cursed acne. Thank you so much! I just hate acne a lot, actually. It's not quite about being ugly, but how weak, vulnerable I feel with it. It's just hard explaining. Maybe not quite weak, but just lame in a way that I look although I don't take care of my skin, my diet is bad, that I'm a teenage troll, etc...ugh...the words just don't come to me, but I suppose it doesn't matter. I'm just saying that it means a lot to me to be able to get rid of it.
