6 replies to this topic

[johnbonfire2]

Hi I'm John. This isn't related to acne that much, although other people may be experiencing something similar where it is related. Although acne did have some effect...

Anyway, when I was around thirteen, I was shy. I didn't have acne then but add that in a year or two down the road and I'm even more shy I wasn't one to initiate a random conversation and so I didn't introduce myself to people. I did make friends, I wasn't super nerdy but I was pretty close to that.

My school isn't very big compared to the US schools, so everybody hung out together. I made friends but never really talked to girls when everybody else started to. There were only really two groups at my school and I left that main group, and it's kind of an unwritten rule that once you leave you can't come back So now I'm in the situation where I can't just randomly go up to girls and talk to them since that would just be weird, and don't tell me that I have to 'just do it' since I'm a pretty smart guy and I know for certain that in my current predicament there is no possible way for me to do that without it being the most awkward conversation ever.

So now I'm not shy like I used to be although I'm not one of those over confident people. I know almost all the guys, spare the superficial ones(i guess they would be the 'jocks' if I was in the US), but I mean that I know all the normal guys even the ones that do hang out with girls. But since I was shy back then I created this awkward situation whereby I can't change much right now if you know what I mean. Well that's what I'm kinda asking about. So I'm in Australia and at 18/19 you go to university. In university it is people from all the schools and they are big so it is unlikely you will see people from your school there. So my plan is that I can start fresh then, I won't make the same mistakes I did before, I will introduce myself to people and so on. I just wanted to get people's opinions and see if anybody has been in the same situation as me, you know, used to be shy but then changed. Thanks to anybody who took the time to read this and maybe has some helpful info.

Edited by johnbonfire2, 24 May 2012 - 06:55 AM.

[Lilly75]

Sounds to me like you have the right idea
I'm 19, in Australia and in my second year at uni - and I love it.
There are so many people at different universities that you get to meet a lot of people - so you can definitely 'start over' if that's what you want to do. You may still see old friends at uni and there's no reason why you can't talk to them again and start over with them again also.
I did sort of treat starting uni as a 'new start' also. I've met some really great people and made some of the best friends I've ever had. I have lost touch with some of my high school friends - which actually doesn't bother me a lot because I realised they weren't 'true' friends to me anyway and I too often felt pressured or uncomfortable around them. So for that reason - I loved making new friends through uni. I'm at a campus a bit further out from where most of my high school friends are so our paths don't cross often - which is why we lost contact. I still enjoy seeing them every now and then because I do have some great memories with them.
I'm naturally a shy sort of person and I had planned to change that completely with starting uni. That didn't happen completely. I think part of that was due to uni being a completely new and different experience and can be a little daunting at first - especially if you don't know anyone in your course to start off with. I do put myself out there a little more now than before but I still tend to be shy - and I'm fine with that for the most part.

So yeah it's all up to you. If you want to treat starting uni as a 'new beginning' for you, where you can re-invent yourself or be more confident and make new friends, then that's great. You just have to decide that's what you want to do and go for it.

Anyway - hope it works out and good luck with uni!

[johnbonfire2]

Lilly75, on 19 May 2012 - 06:30 AM, said:

Sounds to me like you have the right idea
I'm 19, in Australia and in my second year at uni - and I love it.
There are so many people at different universities that you get to meet a lot of people - so you can definitely 'start over' if that's what you want to do. You may still see old friends at uni and there's no reason why you can't talk to them again and start over with them again also.
I did sort of treat starting uni as a 'new start' also. I've met some really great people and made some of the best friends I've ever had. I have lost touch with some of my high school friends - which actually doesn't bother me a lot because I realised they weren't 'true' friends to me anyway and I too often felt pressured or uncomfortable around them. So for that reason - I loved making new friends through uni. I'm at a campus a bit further out from where most of my high school friends are so our paths don't cross often - which is why we lost contact. I still enjoy seeing them every now and then because I do have some great memories with them.
I'm naturally a shy sort of person and I had planned to change that completely with starting uni. That didn't happen completely. I think part of that was due to uni being a completely new and different experience and can be a little daunting at first - especially if you don't know anyone in your course to start off with. I do put myself out there a little more now than before but I still tend to be shy - and I'm fine with that for the most part.

So yeah it's all up to you. If you want to treat starting uni as a 'new beginning' for you, where you can re-invent yourself or be more confident and make new friends, then that's great. You just have to decide that's what you want to do and go for it.

Anyway - hope it works out and good luck with uni!

Thanks for the info! Glad to hear that my plan will most likely work! Now I just have to start working hard since I have been spending a lot of my time thinking about my life recently when I need to finish my school work.

[MJRI94]

I'm in the same boat as you John and I plan to start fresh too. I start uni this year in the UK, naturally, I am shy like you too - always have been since as long as I can remember - and while its far from a the worst thing in the world it can hold you back in situations and let you down somewhat. The only way to change that is to put yourself out there more like Lilly said and when you consider it, uni is the perfect time to start trying to do that! We have a lot to gain from having greater confidence and being outgoing but more to lose if we let our shyness hold us back, you have nothing to lose if you go for it

I actually have an example of this too. One of my sisters was pretty shy (not as much as me, but still shy) before she went to uni, nowadays she isn't shy at all and actually a lot more confident and very outgoing now. She loved uni because she put herself out there and made an effort, so remember that there are people who have done it but also people that are going to try it (like me!) just like you

Edited by MJRI94, 21 May 2012 - 06:50 AM.

[johnbonfire2]

MJRI94, on 21 May 2012 - 06:49 AM, said:

I'm in the same boat as you John and I plan to start fresh too. I start uni this year in the UK, naturally, I am shy like you too - always have been since as long as I can remember - and while its far from a the worst thing in the world it can hold you back in situations and let you down somewhat. The only way to change that is to put yourself out there more like Lilly said and when you consider it, uni is the perfect time to start trying to do that! We have a lot to gain from having greater confidence and being outgoing but more to lose if we let our shyness hold us back, you have nothing to lose if you go for it

I actually have an example of this too. One of my sisters was pretty shy (not as much as me, but still shy) before she went to uni, nowadays she isn't shy at all and actually a lot more confident and very outgoing now. She loved uni because she put herself out there and made an effort, so remember that there are people who have done it but also people that are going to try it (like me!) just like you

That's awesome! Thanks for the advice, I'm also happy that this post may have helped you as well. Also you are so lucky, British girls are the best!

[hayleyx90]

I've just finished uni in the UK and will be graduating in a few weeks. Uni is supposed to be the best time of your life, a place to meet loads of new people, make new friends and have fun. My acne started as soon as I got to uni, and having completely clear skin before meant it was a total shock for me. It completely ruined my experience, I always hid away in my room and my room mates got really concerned but eventually stopped caring because I ignored everyone. Looking back, I wish I acted differently, I made so many amazing friends and had such an amazing time but there were some rough times too, and I think putting yourself out there and not carign what others think really helps. Uni is a time to start fresh and meet new people so I really hope you have a good time!:) xxxx

[nick93]

Go for it man! A fresh start is great. I plan on doing the same thing this coming September. Fingers crossed I get into res.