18 replies to this topic

[Simplicita]

I've been meaning to start my own blog for a few years now - but I never thought acne would be the topic I would write about. It's always been hard for me to find the time but seeing that there are many other people with the same worries as me on this forum has made me want to share my story.

I am 21 now and my acne problems started about 7 months ago. I always broke out in my T-zone but never really cared about it. 7 months ago I was dealing with a lot of stress and was very busy so I wasn't eating the way I always ate, I wasn't eating home made food. I was also practising a poor skin care routine (because of exhaustion I would pass out without washing my make up off). Another factor was lack of exercise due to lack of time. And last but not least - coming home to North America from 2 months in Europe with extensive sun and beach water made my skin experience a shock. All that combined called for disaster. I started getting cysts just on my cheeks, they were mostly under the skin except for a couple that grew to be very big. I started not going out except when I had class or work. I worked as little as I could and sometimes I skipped classes. books became my best friend. I have ruined so many friendships because of this - because instead of wanting to talk about it I just told friends I didn't have time or didn't want to see them. I stopped responding to texts/calls and soon wasn't talking to anyone. I went from being a social butterfly and most confident person I knew to locking myself in my room. My acne put a hold in my life. All that I had been working for all these years (graduating university early and starting my masters) is now on hold. I turned down Masters acceptances for september because I am just not comfortable dealing with people at this moment. I also quit my job because of the same reason.

The first time I went to the dermatologist he prescribed me Tactuo. I didn't even purchase the product because I felt like the dermatologist didn't listen to one thing I had to say. He didn't even lift his eyes off my file - he is known to be very rude.instead I went to see my family doctor and he prescribed me minoclycline. I took that for about 3 months but didn't see any results expect for it clearing a few blemishes I had. I stopped taking minoclycline and searched for a dermatologist that listened to me and I felt comfortable with. I saw over 10 doctors until I found the one. He prescribed me accutane. I am finishing my 3rd month next week and I am seeing him on thursday for my new prescription, just did my blood tests today actually. My face has cleared up but I still have 2 cysts, which I have gotten injected with cortisone a few times. I am waiting for accutane to do it's job now any day lol! I mightttt keep updating regarding the process here if I get responses and people are interested.

One thing that upsets me a lot is how my skin looks stretched out and scars are more visible than ever. And I don't mean just acne scars - small scars from childhood that I had never noticed before as well. But I've heard that is supposed to happen. And when I saw an aesthetician (who happened to have taken accutane 3 times!!!), she said I have nothing to worry about and they will fade once I'm done.

Time is going slow but what keeps me going is telling myself that I might not be there yet, but I am one day closer!!!! This too shall pass!!!
So let me know how you are dealing with it!!
Hope you all have a nice day =)

[kaydon]

I can completely relate to acne holding myself back from doing certain things. I am wondering what to do this weekend, and all I really want to do is relax at home and not have to be around anyone, unless I'm comfortable with them. There's a select few friends that are understanding of how I'm dealing with acne & on Accutane. It's still such a hard thing to deal with, mentally and physically. I'm happy to hear your skin has cleared up. I'm in the middle of month two and I'm still breaking out (although I have cleared up in some areas). I really can't wait to get this done & over with & to have clear skin! I hope the rest of your course goes well.

[AnalogHeart]

That's great to hear your skin has cleared up! Now those two pesky cysts need to go away! I'm sure they'll be gone soon. I wish you the best of luck on the remainder of your course. I hope you'll keep us updated!

Just stay strong and think positive! It will get better! Acne can't hold you back anymore.

Edited by AnalogHeart, 18 May 2012 - 01:46 PM.

[Simplicita]

kaydon, on 18 May 2012 - 12:12 PM, said:

I can completely relate to acne holding myself back from doing certain things. I am wondering what to do this weekend, and all I really want to do is relax at home and not have to be around anyone, unless I'm comfortable with them. There's a select few friends that are understanding of how I'm dealing with acne & on Accutane. It's still such a hard thing to deal with, mentally and physically. I'm happy to hear your skin has cleared up. I'm in the middle of month two and I'm still breaking out (although I have cleared up in some areas). I really can't wait to get this done & over with & to have clear skin! I hope the rest of your course goes well.

Thanks hun! I know the feeling, I just CANTTT wait for the day I'm done with this. It's definitely hard getting up in the morning and looking in the mirror but this just makes us stronger. Not many people can deal with something like this and still be hopeful. Are your break outs new or is it the ones under the skin that are coming out..? I can see you're at 60mg. I'm doing 50 but I was thinking I would ask to be brought up to 60. Maybe I'd see results sooner that way, but I don't know if I could deal with worsened muscle/joint soreness. Do you get that?

AnalogHeart, on 18 May 2012 - 01:46 PM, said:

That's great to hear your skin has cleared up! Now those two pesky cysts need to go away! I'm sure they'll be gone soon. I wish you the best of luck on the remainder of your course. I hope you'll keep us updated!

Just stay strong and think positive! It will get better! Acne can't hold you back anymore.

thankyou!! you're so sweet. Im trying to be patient, hopefully it ends well. Did you just start accutane this month..?

[kaydon]

Not many people can understand what it's like to deal with acne that won't go away, especially in their 20's. It's upsetting, but it's best to remain hopeful during treatment. Much easier said than done, but I always think to myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I am getting new breakouts, but not as bad as they were during month one. Things have kind of calmed down, but new zits are appearing and everything seems to be healing very slowly. I'm starting to become impatient and that's not good to do while on Accutane. I am at 60mg until June, then I will start on 80mg because I am still breaking out. As for muscle/joint soreness, I haven't really experienced any of that! I have arthritis too, so I was expecting some soreness...but I haven't had any yet!

Stay positive! You finish one month ahead of me! I hope you completely clear up.

[AnalogHeart]

Simplicita, on 19 May 2012 - 09:08 AM, said:

thankyou!! you're so sweet. Im trying to be patient, hopefully it ends well. Did you just start accutane this month..?

Aw, you're welcome! And thank you. It's not easy, but you'll have clear skin before you know it!

Yep. I'm on my first week!

[Simplicita]

kaydon, on 19 May 2012 - 11:47 AM, said:

Not many people can understand what it's like to deal with acne that won't go away, especially in their 20's. It's upsetting, but it's best to remain hopeful during treatment. Much easier said than done, but I always think to myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I am getting new breakouts, but not as bad as they were during month one. Things have kind of calmed down, but new zits are appearing and everything seems to be healing very slowly. I'm starting to become impatient and that's not good to do while on Accutane. I am at 60mg until June, then I will start on 80mg because I am still breaking out. As for muscle/joint soreness, I haven't really experienced any of that! I have arthritis too, so I was expecting some soreness...but I haven't had any yet!

Stay positive! You finish one month ahead of me! I hope you completely clear up.

Agh I hate arthiritis, used to have a mild case of it when I was a kid. Hopefully you won't experience the pain!!!
I actually decided today I'm going to quit taking it. I am just too scared of the long term effects. I know I am far along too so some damage might be done but I plan on going on an all liquid diet for the next few days to get rid of the drug. I can't deal with the thoughts of 'what it' anymore. I've read a lot about long term effects on the body and other problems and about it causing infertility and problems in babies - even years after taking it. I'm scared and I don't know if going on accutane has been a good decision on my part.....

AnalogHeart, on 19 May 2012 - 11:59 AM, said:

Simplicita, on 19 May 2012 - 09:08 AM, said:

thankyou!! you're so sweet. Im trying to be patient, hopefully it ends well. Did you just start accutane this month..?

Aw, you're welcome! And thank you. It's not easy, but you'll have clear skin before you know it!

Yep. I'm on my first week!

Good luck!!! As I said above I just decided I'm going to quit taking it so Ill need to find a way to get rid of the two cysts I still have =(. The rest of my skin is clear (apart from the redness and scaring) so I don't want to harm my body any longer

Edited by Simplicita, 19 May 2012 - 03:12 PM.

[Simplicita]

I'm not sure if anyone is reading this but I'm going to update anyway for the sake of letting people know of dealing with the emotional side of accutane. Being stable is even hard for me right now, taking into consideration that I have been a very healthy person mentally, physically and emotionally and not to mention having a degree in psychology. It is unusual for me to be going through so many positive and negative emotions so quickly, within minutes. If I were to be diagnosed at this moment I wouldn't fall short of a manic- depressive disorder. I stopped taking accutane a couple days ago - for a day - because I was scared of the long term effects. But being 3 months in, the damage is already done. So after skipping a day I started taking the medication again. I really hope these mood swings don't last and I don't get any other long term side effects. I hope the elevated moods swings are partially due to my period as well, as I have a history with that. Apart from that and the dry lips however, I have no other side effects. I can even go without moisturizing (not that I do). What really upsets me is the scars! and the fact that they're so noticeable right now! But I was told that happens on accutane, I just can't see how they will fade after. I have to say my scars are mostly shallow, apart from a couple of deep ones. I'm very upset about that and about the fact that I can't do much about it for a long time, even after stopping accutane.
I just ordered black african soap off of ebay because I read it is supposed to help with the scars. On the downside I won't receive it for weeks, standard shipping is not the best.

I haven't been doing much to take my mind off of the cysts and other things because I've been stuck at home doing work and haven't had much time to go work out and other things amongst that. This week will be busy though. I'm seeing my doctor as well and getting month 4 prescription.
Here we go!

Edited by Simplicita, 22 May 2012 - 03:29 PM.

[AnalogHeart]

I really hope you don't have any long-term side effects from this drug. The mood swings sound a bit much though, especially if it's not something you were experiencing before starting Accutane. Definitely make sure you tell your dermatologist what has been going on so he/she can assess the situation.

And I studied psychology, too! Well, I just minored in it though. I always thought it was such an interesting subject. I loved learning about disorders.

[Simplicita]

AnalogHeart, on 22 May 2012 - 08:58 PM, said:

I really hope you don't have any long-term side effects from this drug. The mood swings sound a bit much though, especially if it's not something you were experiencing before starting Accutane. Definitely make sure you tell your dermatologist what has been going on so he/she can assess the situation.

And I studied psychology, too! Well, I just minored in it though. I always thought it was such an interesting subject. I loved learning about disorders.

Thankyou, I hope the same for you. I just don't know if they're due to accutane, I don't know if its that that's messing with my chemical balance. I think it's due to the fact that I'm just so upset about my skin and I miss going out. I keep thinking oh if I wasn't dealing with this I would be doing this and that, and going here and there. And also because I've been thinking a lot about bad long term side effects. I don't know about you but thinking that I've poisoned my body makes me feel terrible. sigh =(

Thats cool! what did you major in??

[AnalogHeart]

Accutane definitely isn't something to be taken lightly because there are so many potential risks. However, you have to remember that there are plenty of people who take this drug and are absolutely fine afterwards. The day my derm recommended Accutane I went home and immediately started doing research. One of the first things I stumbled upon was the negative Accutane experiences thread on this website. I was absolutely terrified after reading that! I had good reason to be scared. I was on the path to potentially damaging my body with pills. It's hard not to think about the possible negative side effects, but you have to remember that more people are likely to go online and write a negative review than a good one. I also think some of those people had issues before Accutane and possibly didn't realize it and they have since blamed it on the drug. You never know what could happen. That's just a risk you have to take if you want to clear your skin. Who knows what is causing the mood swings... But definitely mention it to your derm and see what he/she thinks the next step should be. I really believe you'll be just fine though!

I know it's rough when you're struggling with breakouts. Your self-confidence can definitely take a hit. That's something all of us can relate to. But you're 21! You're young! You only live once and you need to enjoy your life. Try not to let your acne hold you back! Go out with your friends and have fun!

Oh! I majored in communications.

Edited by AnalogHeart, Yesterday, 07:27 AM.

[Simplicita]

Simplicita, on 23 May 2012 - 08:41 PM, said:

AnalogHeart, on 23 May 2012 - 07:26 AM, said:

Accutane definitely isn't something to be taken lightly because there are so many potential risks. However, you have to remember that there are plenty of people who take this drug and are absolutely fine afterwards. The day my derm recommended Accutane I went home and immediately started doing research. One of the first things I stumbled upon was the negative Accutane experiences thread on this website. I was absolutely terrified after reading that! I had good reason to be scared. I was on the path to potentially damaging my body with pills. It's hard not to think about the possible negative side effects, but you have to remember that more people are likely to go online and write a negative review than a good one. I also think some of those people had issues before Accutane and possibly didn't realize it and they have since blamed it on the drug. You never know what could happen. That's just a risk you have to take if you want to clear your skin. Who knows what is causing the mood swings... But definitely mention it to your derm and see what he/she thinks the next step should be. I really believe you'll be just fine though!

I know it's rough when you're struggling with breakouts. Your self-confidence can definitely take a hit. That's something all of us can relate to. But you're 21! You're young! You only live once and you need to enjoy your life. Try not to let your acne hold you back! Go out with your friends and have fun!

Oh! I majored in communications.

yea I think the same, there must be other issues that have been enhanced because of whatever reason. I always notice people around me complaining about health problems and they're always sick in one way or another, always tired, always down, so I think people like that are the ones that get negative side effects, short and long term. I have always been really healthy so I don't think it'll affect my body too much. Also I agree that people with a bad experience are more likely to leave comments and the ones with good experiences go on to live their lives. Let's just hope that'll be us too . One thing I have noticed though is that I am more prone to headaches after taking the pill so I stopped taking it in the morning because it really affected my mood. Cant do much with a pounding headache/migraine.

The secret really is in keeping busy though. It takes your mind off of the problem and the day passes much fast!!! and you're one day closer to being done! Thanks for replying =), Im heading over to see what's happening with you on your log now hehe

Edited by Simplicita, Yesterday, 08:43 PM.

[AnalogHeart]

That will be us! We'll end our courses perfectly healthy and with flawless skin for the rest of our lives! Lol.

One thing that's weird to me is that everyone seems to get headaches at some point while taking this drug, but my derm told me to call him right away if I experienced any headaches, back pain, etc. However, I think it's bad headaches that we need to be concerned about. It says in the Claravis papers that a bad headache, as well as a few other side effects, could be a sign of increased pressure on the brain. If you're experiencing anything really bad, make sure you tell your derm just to be safe!

[tink627]

Hey, just wanted to add that shea butter alone helps in getting rid of scars too!!! I used that twice a day on my post acne marks and any other scars i had else where for two weeks straight and my skin looks like the scars were never there to begin with! yes, african black soap is awesome but it does dry your skin out so if you do start using it I would personally suggest to stop the use off accutane because that dries out your skin as well. African black soap does contain shea butter in it so hopefully that alone will get rid of your scars.

[darling_]

Hi there,

Just wanted to leave you a note since you sound so similiar to myself! I really hope Accutane works for us, I'm on week 16 now (is that month 4?) and have only very recently started seeing some results Fingers crossed that they continue and for you too!

I think I've also become quite antisocial in the last year. I travelled to Europe last year in August as well (which i think completely triggered the situation) and it's just been in a downward spiral since then. I think the water in London didn't agree with my skin - it's hard water, and in addition I was eating a strange diet as well since I was there on work so mostly office catered meals :/

I completely cut off many of my relationships, friends, I don't even go see my FAMILY because I don't want them to see the state of my skin! =[ I'm too scared to go on dates because the first thing I think they'll automatically see is my skin, instead of me. It's gotten to the point even when I buy new clothing I'm like "ugh, what's the point in buying it... I won't look good with it on since I have acne!"

But hopefully Accutane will be the solution to all that :-) Best of luck to us both!

[Simplicita]

AnalogHeart, on 24 May 2012 - 08:31 AM, said:

That will be us! We'll end our courses perfectly healthy and with flawless skin for the rest of our lives! Lol.

One thing that's weird to me is that everyone seems to get headaches at some point while taking this drug, but my derm told me to call him right away if I experienced any headaches, back pain, etc. However, I think it's bad headaches that we need to be concerned about. It says in the Claravis papers that a bad headache, as well as a few other side effects, could be a sign of increased pressure on the brain. If you're experiencing anything really bad, make sure you tell your derm just to be safe!

hehe yes yes it will!!!
I get the headaches, and this past week they have been really bad. But I started taking the medicine at night in stead of in the morning and I don't get them anymore. I told my doctor about that and he said if that worked then its fine. I think its just that if you have it in the morning you don't have enough nutrition in your system yet (i would take it right after I ate). It's better to take it a little after the food starts digesting.

tink627, on 24 May 2012 - 12:38 PM, said:

Hey, just wanted to add that shea butter alone helps in getting rid of scars too!!! I used that twice a day on my post acne marks and any other scars i had else where for two weeks straight and my skin looks like the scars were never there to begin with! yes, african black soap is awesome but it does dry your skin out so if you do start using it I would personally suggest to stop the use off accutane because that dries out your skin as well. African black soap does contain shea butter in it so hopefully that alone will get rid of your scars.

oh nice, lucky girl!! which shea butter do you use?
funny you say that, the ebay seller cancelled my transaction yesterday because they had run out of product so I won't even get the black african soap haha

darling_, on 24 May 2012 - 02:18 PM, said:

Hi there,

Just wanted to leave you a note since you sound so similiar to myself! I really hope Accutane works for us, I'm on week 16 now (is that month 4?) and have only very recently started seeing some results Fingers crossed that they continue and for you too!

I think I've also become quite antisocial in the last year. I travelled to Europe last year in August as well (which i think completely triggered the situation) and it's just been in a downward spiral since then. I think the water in London didn't agree with my skin - it's hard water, and in addition I was eating a strange diet as well since I was there on work so mostly office catered meals :/

I completely cut off many of my relationships, friends, I don't even go see my FAMILY because I don't want them to see the state of my skin! =[ I'm too scared to go on dates because the first thing I think they'll automatically see is my skin, instead of me. It's gotten to the point even when I buy new clothing I'm like "ugh, what's the point in buying it... I won't look good with it on since I have acne!"

But hopefully Accutane will be the solution to all that :-) Best of luck to us both!

The weather is so different in europe right!! even the sun feels different, so when you come back your skin experiences a shock. that's what happened to me. As you said the food is different too, but in my case I went from having the healthiest most fresh food in Europe to fast food in Canada so that definitely didn't work with my system. I didn't have one single pimple when I came back and now I'm on accutane :/ . It's really odd.
I know what you mean, I cut everyone off too. But if you have real close friends that you're comfortable with, they will compliment you in even in your worst day. And your family accepts you just the way you are =)
Haha I haven't gone shopping eitherrrrr, in monthssss, I think the same thing haha. SOON we'll be able to wear whatever we want and like it!

[AnalogHeart]

Simplicita, on 24 May 2012 - 02:48 PM, said:

hehe yes yes it will!!!
I get the headaches, and this past week they have been really bad. But I started taking the medicine at night in stead of in the morning and I don't get them anymore. I told my doctor about that and he said if that worked then its fine. I think its just that if you have it in the morning you don't have enough nutrition in your system yet (i would take it right after I ate). It's better to take it a little after the food starts digesting.

That's good you don't get them anymore! I take one of my pills in the morning, but fortunately I haven't had any bad headaches. So far so good!

[Simplicita]

Day 90

So I feel a lot better compared to last time I made a post. The mood swings are quieting down. Ive been keeping myself really busy and on the move so that has really helped.
I talked to my doctor about the chance of infertility and abnormalities to future children and he said there is absolutely zero chance that such a thing could happen from accutane.
He said that if the Health System had suspected such a side effect the drug would have never been approved. And he said 40 years is a long time for a drug to be around and if there had
been real cases of infertility that would be known, since the health system is very careful with issues on infertility. That put me at smooth, back to never thinking about having kids again for another decade or so hahahahha. Picked up my month 4 prescription. Cant wait to be done arch!! My lips are so dry they're falling off!
I just got my period today and my back is killingggg me! previous back problems + period pains + accutane = OUCHH. Going to yoga tomorrow to loosen up a little because this isn't comfortable at all.
Oh and my hair is so dry! I don't know what to use anymore, the shampoos/conditioners I used to use don't work anymore! Its not the roots that are dry, its the rest of the hair. Anybody have any suggestions?

AnalogHeart, on 24 May 2012 - 02:51 PM, said:

Simplicita, on 24 May 2012 - 02:48 PM, said:

hehe yes yes it will!!!
I get the headaches, and this past week they have been really bad. But I started taking the medicine at night in stead of in the morning and I don't get them anymore. I told my doctor about that and he said if that worked then its fine. I think its just that if you have it in the morning you don't have enough nutrition in your system yet (i would take it right after I ate). It's better to take it a little after the food starts digesting.

That's good you don't get them anymore! I take one of my pills in the morning, but fortunately I haven't had any bad headaches. So far so good!

thats good! Mine only started during the end of month 3 though. we just need to make sure you eat lots and lots of healthy food and we will be just okay!

Edited by Simplicita, Today, 03:10 PM.

[tink627]

Simplicita:

About the Shea butter, this picture I attached is the exact one I bought. Got mine from vendors at a flea market but you can also get it online. Sorry your black soap ran out on ebay but have you tried amazon!? I always order from Amazon and get my items delivered super fast! Any questions about the products just ask me... I've been using them for a couple months now with great success