Posted 04 February 2012 - 01:07 PM
Also, Toom, just thought I'd add: My entire high school and college experience was ruined by this. I used to masturbate every single day. I bought into the whole idea of it being a stress-reliever and thus perfectly OK to do daily without any repercussions. Well, the repercussion was that I was always embarrassed to do anything, to go out places, to hang out with friends, etc. because I felt like my acne made me seem more juvenile. And thinking about it so much made me feel even more juvenile, and like I was less than other people, or not worth all that fun stuff. It was a cycle that I didn't know how to break because I wasn't really aware of it. It drained my mental energy and just made me feel sedate all the time (the post-orgasmic effect of less testosterone, more oxytocin, etc.).
What is unfortunate for us is that society is in this whiplashed knee-jerk phase about sex. Anybody that tries to recommend moderating sex is assumed to be a religious nut case, a puritan, or a prude. The ideal held up on a pedestal is that we should fornicate daily in all sorts of wild ways - anything less is to not be reaching our full sexual potential. All of this stuff, which I'd love to believe and act on, I can't because now I know that temporary abstinence is the only thing that strongly reverses my acne and keeps it at bay. But what is more is that it has opened my eyes to another viewpoint where sex is still really important but doesn't override everything else in my life.
The most interesting case of this, for me, was a dermatologist lady who, upon hearing my situation, more or less threw her hands up in the air and said "We just don't know enough about this topic yet." (It could have just ended there, but...) she then gave me a prescription for Minocycline, and told me "don't worry about the ejaculation, just do as the spirit moves you". I don't expect a dermatologist to know everything, but after situations like this I really do get kind of irritated when people say our situation is invalid because no dermatologists have studied and acknowledged it conclusively yet.
And Ukulala, I don't mean any offense, but as guys on this issue we can't really speak for women, and women really can't speak for us. The hormonal and physiological differences between men & women are not negligible, and to complicate things both genders are complicated and diverse in and of themselves. What you mentioned about sex being normal and natural I completely agree with, but your surprise and shock is something I see often on these forums, especially from the womenfolk. And I'm not trying to call you out specifically, so I hope you don't take it personally. I just want people reading these discussions to realize that this is indeed valid, and what we think about sexuality doesn't trump the realities of how some of our bodies respond to it. Most people apparently don't have this problem, but for those that do, trust me - we're not anti-sex. We see all the hyper-sexualized messages out there and feel like we're missing out to some degree. But at the same time, this has opened doors to a lot of other ideas, like how to control my own hormones & moods, how to build anticipation with my partner, how to really enjoy sex without getting bored with it from doing it all the time, and how to tap into extra energy & drive & motivation I didn't know I could have.
Anyway... carry on dudes.
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Toom, on 02 February 2012 - 08:05 AM, said:
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