13 replies to this topic

[kaafee123]

hey guys, so i'm new here and it's nice to find a place to talk about this because i never talk about acne in real life, not even with my parents. i just feel like i don't ever want to talk about it with anyone until it goes away. it's a vicious cycle - I've had acne for 5 years now.

Let me just start by saying before my acne I was the class clown, was very sociable and even talked to girls with crazy confidence! Fast forward 5-6 years. I'm 21 now. I've lost all my friends due to acne, I've failed university because of acne, and I've never spoken to a girl for more than 10 minutes let alone kissed or had a gf or went on a date. Now maybe for some of you this is taking it too far but I disagree...it's the ONLY thing that makes me happy. I'm isolated from everyone so no one can hurt me, it's sort of like a defense mechanism.

So, let's address friends first of all. Before they used to think of me as this really cool funny maybe even handsome (not anymore of course) guy who was always there for people. And I love that feeling, socialising with boys and girls because there are so many good memories to be had. I feel like I've been robbed 5 years of my life. High school and university was supposed to be a time of partying and experimenting and doing crazy teen stuff that you look back on and all I did was sit at home on my computer with my cat because it's the only thing that won't criticize or hurt me. I have severe acne and I first started noticing something was wrong with me in grade 9 when girls used to yell "eww, pimples!". After that I got very self-concsious and my self-esteem plummeted. I started wearing make up, and I'm a guy. It just got worse - people started to acknowledge my acne and even make-up more and more and I just felt defenseless because no one even took me serious because of it. Every time I talked to somebody I could feel them staring at my acne and to be honest that feeling of uncomfortableness is worse than anything in the world. So I stopped talking to everybody but my close friend. One day, he mentioned "Damn, that's a huge pimple!". I died inside, and now have had no friends for 4 years. Furthermore, I never go out in the daytime because of how bad my acne looks. So I never went to any teen parties, beach parties, swimming pools, theme parks, or anything else normal people do. I've had t oturn down all these offers because I know how bad my acne and make-up look in the daytime. Now people think I'm some weird loser because I don't talk to anyone and only come out at night but the only thing I WANT to do is hang out with people.

University was very short-lived. The first day of university I went to my classes and all of my classes are huge, I'd say 100+ people in a lecture hall. I realized that if I sat in the middle or anywhere where somebody was behind me I get panic attacks because people just stare at my acne. So I was reduced to sitting in the back of the class where nobody could stare, but I never heard or saw anything because I have bad vision and failed all my tests and exams.

I feel like I have no fight left. My parents think I'm crazy because I've never had a girlfriend, and so do the people that used to know me. At this point in my life I just want to save up some money and move into the countryside with a pet and never have to see anyone again until my acne goes away. If this goes on when I'm an adult I don't know what I will do. I've been on everything - BP, SA, tea tree, cetaphil, organic washes, clearasil, proactive, accutane, etc, etc, etc, etc. I've been working out and eating healthy. When I wake up, I have 5-10 new pimples. It's like nothing I do helps, no matter if I smoke weed and eat big macs or work out. Also, I'm a very sensitive and introverted person to begin with. So when I read on these forums that people actually have conversations about people's acne I don't know how they do it. I would break down and cry.

The worst part is I know how bad it is. I can actually think like all of these superficial teens these days and if I was a girl I wouldn't date myself no question about it. I'd want a "hot guy", not a guy who's face looks like a doormat. I understand my pain because I was like that before.

I hope it goes away someday. Acne has already drained me of everything I had. I hope all of us, just for one day even, get to experience clear skin at least once in our lives. I already have dreams and fantasies of what I would do - talk to girls! go out in the daytime! party! study! etc...

[j0e7]

Im sorry to hear about your situation, but i can honestly say that it wont last forever. I would recommend you going on accutane if you really want to get rid of your acne. It is not as bad as everyone says it is. I had moderate to severe acne and started taking oratane (same as accutane) 5 months ago and now i am 95% clear my confidence has gone up the roof, i am starting school now, and no longer worry about going out into public because of my skin. Tough times eventually die out. Keep a positive attitude and dont let acne ruin the teenage years we have. The key to always getting a girl is confidence and well i was in the same shoes as you were in, but now i am thru that and feel free to talk to girls. I highly recommend you taking accutane, but make sure you find a derm that knows what he is doing. If you have any questions or anything feel free to message me. Good luck man! and hope everything turns out for the best!

[PaulH85]

Acne hasn't ruined your life because your life isn't over yet. In fact, you've a whole life ahead of you if you can find the courage to hold your head up and make the best of it. I know how hard it can be to do that and I haven't succeeded at it in the past, but if you've got opportunities in front of you such as university and all, you need to make the most of them no matter what's going on with your skin. Do that and take care of your skin as you go. Take the necessary steps to clear your skin and, believe me, you'll get there eventually.

[AbyBar]

You've probably heard this many times before but you'll acne will go away. Maybe not now, not tomorrow and maybe not this year but it will GO AWAY ! Have a little faith and be optimistic. There so much more to life then dating girls. There's education. Don't allow your battle with acne to lower your ability of being able to achieve a higher education. I know it's difficult especially when your psychologically affected by acne, I've been there before. Heck I still get affected by it but i realized I can't seclude myself from the world and staying at home just made me think more about my ACNE. I'm a 21 year old female with severe acne and I still don't let that define me, I have a singular wit for things and I'm funny and that's the person my friends and family see. Not my pizza face.
I'm sorry if in the past you were teased about your acne, but don't allow it to bring you down. Your still young and there's lots to live for.
There's many people that are going through the same phase as you are, so just know your not alone. And someday your battle with acne will be over but it will take some trial and errors but you'll find your cure

[ihatemyskin94]

i feel you man, exactly the same situation here. All i can say is eat VERY healthy and use the right products. In the morning eat an apple, a boiled egg, some tomato and cucumbers and 2 glasses of water. For lunch have salad with a lot of olive oil and apple cidar vinegar and more water. For dinner have another salad with home made vegetable soup. Then gradually start eating more fruits, blueberries, strawberries etc. Eat every vegetable possible, a lot of water and fish, keep meat to a minimum. Eliminate wheat, dairy, and sugar. Make sure everything you eat is organic. As for topical treatments, use cocount oil as a moisturizer, or apple cidar vinegar as a toner. Get 8 hours of sleep a day and keep masturbating to a minimum (dont do it for a week, then only once a week) Hopefully this helps, im ALMOST clear just have a lot of marks which are still making me depressed as fuck. Good luck

[gia1]

Don't let it ruin your life. Go see a derm and possibly try accutane or go see a nutritionist maybe you are allergic to certain foods. Some people are allergic to toothpaste or deodorant (aluminum) and when they stopped using it their skin cleared. Since you spend alot of time on the computer go through all these posts and start trying different things that have worked for people. I just read a post yesterday that some guy on this site started taking zinc picolinate i think about 150 mg after suffering from acne for like 20 years and it cleared him completely. Don't give up the fight you will find your cure i did i had candida and after years of acne i read a post on this site and tried the candida diet and took pro biotics and other supplements and i am clear. Pick your head up and dont stop until you cure it. Dont let it ruin the rest of your life. You can do it. Gia

[ILLmatic718]

reading things like this really pisses me off that something as trivial as acne even exists. and how it can devastate peoples lives, including my own. my story is very similar to yours. im sorry that youve had to experiance this in life kaafee123. whoever said "Its a cold world" sure got it right.

[guillotineSavvy]

At the risk of sounding insensitive, I think you need to realize that acne didn't ruin your life. It's a very self-esteem crushing disease, and I'm truly sorry that you had to deal with bullying from friends, but if you let yourself succumb to insecurity and low self-esteem, you are letting acne have power over you, and you are letting it ruin your life.

I'm not saying this because I think that you're weak or need to grow up- it takes so much strength and maturity to step back and look at yourself the way that you just did, but you don't need to be that person who's scared of the mirror anymore. You don't need to avoid people, or constantly fear that you're being judged, because you are so much more than the spots on your face, and any person worth your time should see that in you.

In all honesty, you sound like a really sweet guy, and it would be such a shame to see you hold yourself back from living your life just because you have acne. I know it's hard- I've been there, tons of people on the board have been there, but if you make a habit out of reclusion, it will carry on even when you do have clear skin. Just think of all the women who think "I'll go swimming when I'm ten pounds thinner" - they never make it out of the change room.

[Lt Aldo raine]

We should not be-little this mans pain. Its not about how he should or shouldn't feel, but how he feels. It doesn't matter if a person suffers from cancer or a freakin big mole, the fact is that they suffer with it. Acne may not even compare to some of the terrible things people throughout the world deal with, but it can be absolutely detrimental to a persons well being.

I dont know your exact situation, but i will tell you that now is the time to do something about your issues. The fact that you couldn't imagine talking about your acne without crying makes me confident in saying that you NEED to talk about it. It might be scary to think about it, but this shit will absolutely tear you apart inside. It has done the same to me. It appears that your whole situation is more than just having a skin disorder. Like the most of us, the majority of our problems is mental. Its not our acne itself, but how we deal with it.

And although these forums are great for getting feelings out, it is not the same as actually talking to someone about your problems. You will realize how great it feels to completely bawl your eyes out with someone you love, like your mother. Emotions can multiply and become exageratted if we do not release them.

Sometimes are lives do not start at birth. Its never too late for you.

[idiot98]

ILLmatic718, on 24 January 2012 - 08:11 PM, said:

reading things like this really pisses me off that something as trivial as acne even exists. and how it can devastate peoples lives, including my own. my story is very similar to yours. im sorry that youve had to experiance this in life kaafee123. whoever said "Its a cold world" sure got it right.

What's amazing is how such a trivial thing can bring strong, mature people down emotionally, and (to some extent, with exceptions, don't misinterpret this) lower good people's value in the eyes of others. Reflecting on it hammers home the message about how superficial our society is. We really are talking apes, obsessed with self replication and irrationally scared of sickness/mortality (e.g. acne is unattractive) . I feel that's a valuable insight that other people might not have the first hand experience to understand.

[RemovingBlackheads]

Acne bothered me a lot, yes, but ACCUTANE messed me up even more. Now I will respectfully disagree with some people on this point because of course everyone must decide for himself or herself, but taking accutane only worked while I kept popping those expensive pills. You can imagine my discouragement.

Getting rid of your acne is all about following a simple, proven plan consistently. It may seem like forever before you find the right solution for you, but your persistence will pay. And as you take little steps each day towards your desired complexion, you will find that those negative feelings of frustration and insecurity vanish.

[mrjarjarbinks77]

At 21, you might want to seek help, accutane or natural pathic doctor or soemthing. It is at the point of getting you help. I never spoke to my parents to later on but, I was pissed at them that, they never got me the help I needed. I took action and got help. Topicals damaged my skin. I am extremely self conscious and it sucks. Life isn't suppose to be this way man. You got to get past it, love yourself, and know your own self worth.

I met a girl a little while ago. We really hit it off and it was great. I wish we were together and there wasn't such a huge gap between us but, it shows me that I can do this that I am capable of something. What? I don't know but, I keep testing myself to see what i am made of. It is not easy but, you got to believe you are worth more, and that acne or scars are only skin deep. We wont be here forever. Love yourself.

[blackblake]

You sound EXACTLY like me. To the T. I feel your pain man :/. I have had acne since about 13 ( I too am 21 years old now ). And while everyone was busying having a social life, i was home by myself. Acne really screws people up mentally. I too have tried everything. Expect accutane, cuz im arleady severely depressed, don't need to add onto that. But my acne has cleared up like 90%. So i do feel better. I severely watched my diet, i went on epiduo, iv had about 100 micro's lol. Several chemical peels. Everything. So it took quite a while to get where i am now. But i am getting better everyday. I know its hard

[EffThis]

Story of my life mate. I'm sure you've had things far worse than me in terms of your actual acne - but I can't believe I let a skin condition take over everything & destroy any sense of self-worth I once had, leaving me with absolutely nothing. I completely understand where you're coming from, being held back from your true potential & being confined to the night like some sort of nocturnal vampirical leper purely because of how your face looks on any given day. Even worse when you're so embarassed & uncomfortable in your own skin that you can't even talk to your parents or friends about things. It's a horrifically debilitating disease that I've only truly come to terms with recently - I won't lie - I've shed fucking rivers of tears over this shit; but I'm probably too far gone now to be honest, I'm hoping you aren't.

Take a step back & have a look at what you do still have in life, what you can appreciate & enjoy regardless of your skin. I'm trying to find that myself at the moment because my issues have developed far beyond just my acne now, but try to hold on, don't lose yourself the way I have man. Think of the simple things that make you forget about your acne for a moment. Whether it's food or TV or books or working out or anything else. At least you're taking care of yourself & trying everything instead of literally just sitting there doing nothing like I've been for so long. & try to believe in living. If you've got opportunities to have a life beyond your skin & can gather the courage to do it, then go for it. It took me far too long to learn things the hard way, but at this point I've finally realised that I was the only one holding myself back the whole time. & despite being beyond overly self-conscious about my skin so much so that I couldn't even walk out of my front door for a year, I've got to say it really just wasn't worth it. I've been in essentially complete isolation for all of 2011 & I regret every second I've wasted. Don't do that to yourself if you don't have to. You're better than that.

Edited by EffThis, 01 February 2012 - 05:25 AM.