9 replies to this topic

[Lola Burns]

It sounds like a lot of people on this board spend a lot of time home alone and hate it. I know that loneliness is a bitch, but being alone does NOT have to equal feeling lonely. GO OUTSIDE! Go volunteer, go see a movie or a band. Go for a walk, go shopping. Go out to eat. Go to the beach, go hiking. Go do something. Go take a class in something you've always wanted to learn but never got around to it. Go to the zoo. Get a job if you don't have one. Learn to enjoy your own company. That, my friends, is a one way ticket to confidence. And that confidence is what will give you the social life you thought you couldn't have.

Edited by Lola Burns, 06 January 2012 - 12:25 AM.

[PaulH85]

There aren't any zoo's close to where I live. Shame, I feel like going now!

This has kind of come up in a couple of other topics lately - the idea of at least having a distraction and a purpose so you're not able to define yourself by this negative thing instead. Can't argue with that.

The first steps are the hardest, perhaps taking a risk or facing a fear, but it gets more comfortable if you keep trying and find what works best. As a safety net, it's an idea to consider where you might find like-minded people in terms of hobbies and things because that's what they'll show interest in the most.

Personally, I became scared of people and everyone became a threat in the sense that there was the potential, at least in my mind, for everyone to make fun of me. But it is all in the mind and actually only takes one single positive experience to show you that it's possible to find the good people.

[Tyga]

You're absolutely right. A brief two hour distraction from a movie or a live show would help people. Also, movie theaters are dark so it's not like people would be able to examine your skin. I'll be busier once school starts.

[gtturbo2]

PaulH85, on 05 January 2012 - 02:38 AM, said:

Personally, I became scared of people and everyone became a threat in the sense that there was the potential, at least in my mind, for everyone to make fun of me. But it is all in the mind and actually only takes one single positive experience to show you that it's possible to find the good people.

I know that feeling only too well paul. When i was at my worst it took good friends to actually drag me out and make me see that the people that matter dont care how you look. When i was at my worst mentally I was staying in all the time focusing on my flaws and i was fast becoming my own island in a sense not a very welcoming one at that.

I totally agree with the op so what if you think you look like crap get out there and show the world that you have more to offer than a baby smooth complexion.

The worst thing anyone can do with skin problems is stay in all the time focusing on it, its a downward spiral. You only get one life enjoy it as much as you can.
If you havent got a job get one anything will do.

[Lola Burns]

PaulH85, on 05 January 2012 - 02:38 AM, said:

There aren't any zoo's close to where I live. Shame, I feel like going now!

This has kind of come up in a couple of other topics lately - the idea of at least having a distraction and a purpose so you're not able to define yourself by this negative thing instead. Can't argue with that.

The first steps are the hardest, perhaps taking a risk or facing a fear, but it gets more comfortable if you keep trying and find what works best. As a safety net, it's an idea to consider where you might find like-minded people in terms of hobbies and things because that's what they'll show interest in the most.

Personally, I became scared of people and everyone became a threat in the sense that there was the potential, at least in my mind, for everyone to make fun of me. But it is all in the mind and actually only takes one single positive experience to show you that it's possible to find the good people.

Do they have an aquarium?

I have an intense fear of heights. So I go on as many rollercoasters as I can. One of these days I'll be able to keep my eyes open. There's another idea for solo activities, going to a theme park.

[PaulH85]

No, Sheffield doesn't have an aquarium either. Shame really, I'd be into that, would probably want to work there as well. I suppose I could do a tour of all the local pet stores instead...

I have actually been thinking about this lately, in terms of what I want to do and how I can occupy my time. Occurred to me that I've spent so much time by myself and haven't been going places that I don't really know what's going on out there, what I could get involved in, or where I'd like to go. There was quite a long period, maybe six or seven months, when I really didn't want to do anything and had no enthusiasm to try stuff. I guess depression was getting the better of me at that point and it becomes a vicious cycle because the depression makes me want to shut myself away and shutting myself away makes me depressed.

Kind of getting around the depression now in the sense that I've a bit more enthusiasm now and there seems to be some degree of curiosity building up because I'm thinking a bit more clearly and I'm aware there's a whole world out there which I could go and explore. The biggest restriction due to a lack of confidence was always always my acne but now that's not an issue at all so the only thing stopping me is me.

I guess when it comes a lack of confidence, depression, insecurities about appearance and acne, etc., the only way around it is to push yourself. Just as you said with the roller coasters and pushing yourself to give that a shot in order to beat your fear. I guess everything which holds me back and perhaps many of us does come down to being a form of fear and it's a safe bet that none of these things turn out as badly as we assume they will.

[poi6]

Ii Like Alot of those ideas but its not easy for a fifteen year old who lives in the country to just get up and go somewhere :/ the only distraction ive had recently is Snowboarding :s ive been to the slopes a least 5 times this week XD

[Rawhide]

I won't go outside. I look so sick with these inflamed awful fucking bumps and feel like so fucking bad.

[Lola Burns]

PaulH85, on 06 January 2012 - 07:15 AM, said:

No, Sheffield doesn't have an aquarium either. Shame really, I'd be into that, would probably want to work there as well. I suppose I could do a tour of all the local pet stores instead...

I have actually been thinking about this lately, in terms of what I want to do and how I can occupy my time. Occurred to me that I've spent so much time by myself and haven't been going places that I don't really know what's going on out there, what I could get involved in, or where I'd like to go. There was quite a long period, maybe six or seven months, when I really didn't want to do anything and had no enthusiasm to try stuff. I guess depression was getting the better of me at that point and it becomes a vicious cycle because the depression makes me want to shut myself away and shutting myself away makes me depressed.

Kind of getting around the depression now in the sense that I've a bit more enthusiasm now and there seems to be some degree of curiosity building up because I'm thinking a bit more clearly and I'm aware there's a whole world out there which I could go and explore. The biggest restriction due to a lack of confidence was always always my acne but now that's not an issue at all so the only thing stopping me is me.

I guess when it comes a lack of confidence, depression, insecurities about appearance and acne, etc., the only way around it is to push yourself. Just as you said with the roller coasters and pushing yourself to give that a shot in order to beat your fear. I guess everything which holds me back and perhaps many of us does come down to being a form of fear and it's a safe bet that none of these things turn out as badly as we assume they will.

The most exciting things happen when your enthusiasm and curiosity out weight your fears. I had took a class with this makeup artist. He said if I really wanted a career in that industry, I needed to put myself out there TODAY. Not when I feel confident in my skills, not when I've taken a certain number of classes, not after I've drawn up a 5 year plan. The skill and confidence comes after experience. I ended up not doing makeup for movies because of another piece of advice given to me by a teacher: follow your bliss.

poi6, on 06 January 2012 - 12:09 PM, said:

Ii Like Alot of those ideas but its not easy for a fifteen year old who lives in the country to just get up and go somewhere :/ the only distraction ive had recently is Snowboarding :s ive been to the slopes a least 5 times this week XD

Hey, at least you're snowboarding.

Rawhide, on 07 January 2012 - 05:01 PM, said:

I won't go outside. I look so sick with these inflamed awful fucking bumps and feel like so fucking bad.

Are you in physical pain?

[Rawhide]

Lola Burns, on 07 January 2012 - 07:35 PM, said:

Rawhide, on 07 January 2012 - 05:01 PM, said:

I won't go outside. I look so sick with these inflamed awful fucking bumps and feel like so fucking bad.

Are you in physical pain?

Yes. For some reason I've broken out with deep bumps around my mouth and it even hurts to open it........