6 replies to this topic

[elad]

I don't know what the purpose of posting this is - not like it's going to help anything, and what I feel is probably just a repetition of so many other posts. I just feel like I need to let this out somewhere. I've never talked to anybody about this because I'm too embarrassed by it. At least people here will understand what I'm feeling. I'm just so sick of dealing with this crap. I'm almost 28 and been dealing with it for about half of my life. I'm so miserable and depressed so much of the time. I'm so reclusive and quiet and avoid family and friends at times because I don't want to be seen. I hate missing out on so much of life. I'm not able to pursue my interests because I'd have to deal with people and I just can't deal with that. I'm interested in art and music, but I'm uncomfortable with doing anything professionally with it right now, and it seems I'm feeling depressed so often I don't even feel like doing anything with it when I'm at home alone. I've felt so bad lately I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas alone because I didn't want to be around other people. I've cried more in the last couple months than I have in a long time. How pathetic is that - 27 year old guy crying because of this. I just don't know what to do. I hope this improves very soon.

[PaulH85]

Hi, elad, welcome to the Org.

You know, it's logical that you'd end up depressed if you're not living your life, not making use of your talents or living to your values. It's a massive vicious cycle because not doing those things will make you depressed and the depression will of course take away your enthusiasm to do those things anyway. I can relate to that. I've been struggling with depression for a number of months and the biggest difference in me is that I stopped doing the things I enjoyed doing. When I did do them, my negative thought processes had me believing that I was no good at those things and that I wasn't worthy of being good at them, so it all just made me feel even worse. I'm interested in photography and I know I have the ability to take it further, but I lack the confidence to approach people and put myself out there in order do something with that ability. In that instance, just like with what you described, the only way is to push through it. You've got to face those fears and do it anyway because that's the first step.

I'm 26 and I struggled with my skin for 13 years so I get how you're feeling about reaching this point in your life and still not figured it out, cleared your skin or recovered from the emotional damage. I've done the first two parts I think but the emotional side of things is going to take a while. Regardless of what your skin is doing, the best thing you can do is put yourself out there and spend time with your family and friends because if they're true friends and they care about you, they won't be bothered by your skin one way or the other.

One of the biggest things you can do is work on your confidence, your self esteem and focus on your positive qualities. Otherwise, you allow your acne to define you and you allow it to influence your moods, feelings and action. There's nothing wrong with experiencing or expressing those emotions, letting them, or processing and wanting to talk about them. That all helps, but you will also have to take action in order to move forward. One step at a time I guess.

In terms of practical steps for your skin, be kind to it and yourself and try not to stress about it. Instead, focus on finding a regimen which works best for you in order to clear your skin. Whether it be antibiotics, topical products, diet changes or a combination of all three, once you're on the right path, things start to happen and it all begins to fall into place. It takes time and patience, but it's worth the effort. What's your current regimen? What do you do to take care of your skin and combat your acne?

Edited by PaulH85, 01 January 2012 - 06:59 PM.

[beautifuldoll]

you are basically the male me. at this very second not sure what to say to make you feel better but you are not alone in this darling.

mwhuaz

[conjones]

Hey man it doesn't matter if there are other posts like this, say what you need to say:). Telling somone what's on your mind can help quite a bit. I'd definitely follow what Paul said and look into a way to treat your skin a bit. Don't be afraid to post whatever you want, we're more than happy to offer an ear or help brainstorm, and welcome to the forums!

[hermionestranger]

OH MY GOD, AMEN.

I've been feeling the same way for a long time. I used to have really bad skin, and then I got it under control for about two years. Now, just in the past few months, my skin has been terrible again, and it's been a total blow to my confidence. I just moved out on my own, I'm in my first year at university, I'm in a new city with new friends - this should be an exciting time for me! But it hasn't been. I hate going to social events or parties, I hate dressing up, and it's starting to take a toll on me. It also sucks because I'm a fine arts program in acting, and though I wish it wasn't like this, appearances play a HUGE role in casting for productions.

I have figured out one thing in the past few months though that has really helped me through. I found two really good, trustworthy friends who help me feel better about myself. They care a lot about me and want me to feel good about who I am. They're always complimenting me (even when what they're saying isn't true, it still feels good to hear it) and trying to get me to go out and have fun. They like to dress me up in nice outfits and do my hair and makeup and stuff.

I know that you're a guy, so friends that you make might not do those things for you, but having a close-knit group of friends who aren't toxic or superficial, but supportive and positive, can make a HUGE difference. It has for me.

[amy91]

elad, on 01 January 2012 - 11:06 AM, said:

I don't know what the purpose of posting this is - not like it's going to help anything, and what I feel is probably just a repetition of so many other posts. I just feel like I need to let this out somewhere. I've never talked to anybody about this because I'm too embarrassed by it. At least people here will understand what I'm feeling. I'm just so sick of dealing with this crap. I'm almost 28 and been dealing with it for about half of my life. I'm so miserable and depressed so much of the time. I'm so reclusive and quiet and avoid family and friends at times because I don't want to be seen. I hate missing out on so much of life. I'm not able to pursue my interests because I'd have to deal with people and I just can't deal with that. I'm interested in art and music, but I'm uncomfortable with doing anything professionally with it right now, and it seems I'm feeling depressed so often I don't even feel like doing anything with it when I'm at home alone. I've felt so bad lately I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas alone because I didn't want to be around other people. I've cried more in the last couple months than I have in a long time. How pathetic is that - 27 year old guy crying because of this. I just don't know what to do. I hope this improves very soon.

I can relate to that. Even tho my skin has improved, but I'm still embarrassed by my acne. I've been suffering from acne for 2 years, and since it began, my life has stopped. So you're definitely not alone. I'm 20 years old female, but I feel like I'm 40 or older. I feel like I'm on the lowest level of society. I have no life. I don't even have something to tell about myself. Everyday is exactly the same. I do college and stuff, but I've never enjoyed it.
I notice people moving forward in their lives, going out, having fun, fall in love, dating each other and etc, and I'm just sitting within these 4 walls and crying about my pathetic being. But u know what? U should stop depressing and torturing yourself and wasting your life. Take Accutane ( if u've taken it, do it again), start eating healthy, eliminate crap food from your diet, exercise, go out, meet new people and just enjoy your life. That's what I'm trying to do now.

[FK in the coffee]

Aww, I'd totally give you a bro hug right now, man. ):
It sucks how something like our skin can ruin and rule over so much.

As hard as it is, you should try and keep in mind who you are and not what is on your face. Don't let your passion and talents just sit there, it's such a shame.
Not all of us are going to base our opinions of you on what your skin looks like. I bet you're a pretty cool guy underneath all of the bad feelings.