16 replies to this topic

[desertone]

This is hard for me to write. I worked at a part time job for 10 years. I loved this job so much I went to college to pursue one of the full time positions there. The last 2 years of that work I worked with new people and at the same time my skin had been ridiculous and has really taken a toll on me emotionally. Between my skin and working with new people constantly I was really out of my comfort zone. Regardless I decided to take a leap of faith and leave my secure part time job to pursue a more permanent position by substituting for the position I want. I am smart, capable, love my job and have been at work so long I have outlasted 4 bosses. I went on my first interview in over 10 years and all I could think of was my face. I start a new dermatologist in January. I am also doing the research again for help. How do I remain confident and professional while I feel like my face is all they can see? It's really messing with my head and it's depressing. I should be thinking of my qualifications I can sell not how I think they view my face. Anybody else feel this way?

[Sexxyangelic1]

I totally understand how you feel. I used to miss going to class while in college, and I have missed many days of work just because I felt like I just couldn't face anyone. I actually went on some interviews a couple of years ago, and I always wear my hair down because it kind of gives me a little bit of security because sometimes I can use it to hide my skin, anyways I kept not getting the jobs and my friend suggested maybe I should wear my hair up to be a little more professional. I was horrified! I did not want those people at the interview or the people interviewing me to see my horrible skin and horrible scars. The day of my interview I decided to take her suggestion and I wore my hair up and I walked into that interview and I sold myself and even though it was hard I put my skin completely out of my mind because I felt that I truly deserved that job and i was not going to let my skin get in the way of that. Long story short, I got the job! Funny thing I remember after the interview I took my hair back down so fast! Anyway it sounds like you really want this job and deserve it. I think you should keep those two things in mind and don't let your skin determine your fate. I know sometimes it can be hard to do, but sometimes we just have to say F it! I am not going to let this take over my life. Good luck with the job and I am confident you will find something with your new derm that will work for you!

Edited by Sexxyangelic1, 27 December 2011 - 02:13 AM.

[Kat001]

Yes, I am a makeup artist and definitely feel that people expect a clear skin, fresh face when I turn up to work. Also worry that ill informed people will think that I am un hygenic or going to "give" my acne to them which is not the case. Have had many days where i just dont want to see anyone nor leave the house. It's hard...

[PaulH85]

Very long story short - I really started to struggle with my confidence and get self conscious about my skin earlier this year. Ironically, that hot me the hardest when my acne actually cleared up for a little while. All the feelings of insecurity and the lack of confidence were still there even though the acne wasn't. Should have been obvious to me how that would be the case because they've essentially become separate issues, but it wasn't obvious and it freaked me out. I just felt out of place all the time and was getting really paranoid about what people thought of me and what they saw. I couldn't deal with the anxiety and attempted to cope by missing work and by being in the office as little as possible. I did that for a few months and naturally, my employer objected and fired me in the end.

I wish I knew the answer for you but I guess I'm not the right person. Unless of course it's simply a case of doing the exact opposite of what I did. When it comes down to it, in terms of applying for a job and getting a position, it should all be about your skills and qualifications. If you tick all those boxes, there's no reason a potential employer shouldn't take you on. Believe that you have the abilities for the role and that belief will come across as confidence. It's a two part thing and that's the first part. The second part comes when you get the job and you're then spending a significant amount of time outside your comfort zone. At that point, it would be about learning how to make that new environment a comfortable one for yourself so that you can relax and not be distracted from doing a job to the best of your ability.

[desertone]

Thank You guys it really means a lot!
Paul I saw you comment on another board and had thought wow he really sounds like he feels the same way I do sometimes.
I feel like my low confidence is affecting me from making work relationships so I took a leap and applied to be a substitute for a new location where nobody knows me or what I used to look like. I got the call today that I can begin immediately. I will have to solely rely on my skills and learning to be confident at work to land the long term gig. But I think this is what I need.
It seems innocent enough but when you start becoming anxious about what people think you look like it can develop into worrying about what they think about you beyond looks. I hope that makes sense. I am working on a portfolio for work. To remind myself I do have a lot of skills and am proud of those. Just not so proud of my face.

[desertone]

I guess I will have to just go and try it I will come back and tell everyone how it is going. I can't exactly afford to hide, but no one ever really can.

[PaulH85]

Wow, congratulations on the job! That's awesome!

You know, I kind of feel the same about moving to a new place and making a new start. Not feasible for me at the moment without a job and debts to pay off once I do start earning, so I'll have to stay at home a while longer. Could probably do with getting out there and finding people to hang out with, potential housemates and so on, so that I can start to build a life for myself once I get a few other things back on track.

I totally agree with what you said about worrying about the looks and all, and taking it beyond that. That's exactly what I did. I always thought that I was on my own and without a group of friends or whatever because of my acne. Then when that got better, those other things obviously didn't change so I just went looking for other reasons to justify my shortcomings. In the end I just turned it all inwards and just started assuming that nobody liked me as a person or that I wasn't worth knowing. I pretty much manufactured these feelings of worthlessness all by myself because I'd just go over it again and again. It was like some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy because I ended up destroying whatever small amounts of confidence and self-esteem I might have had left.

I sometimes wonder if things would have worked out different had my skin cleared up in my teens instead of developing from hormonal pimples into persistent acne; wonder what it would have been like had it come to a natural end at that point rather than becoming adult acne. I find it all too easy to feel inferior to pretty much everyone because it lasted into my adulthood and in some ways I still feel like I'm thirteen, especially as many of my life experiences kind of stalled at that point. Guess I've got some catching up to do or at least need to try and fake it 'til I make it because, likewise, I can't afford to hide anymore.

Anyway, I wish you the very best of luck with the job, fingers crossed it becomes a permanent position. Pretty cool that it should come along at this moment - new start for a new year and all that.

Edited by PaulH85, 28 December 2011 - 09:31 PM.

[betsy91]

Mine is! Its affecting my future career too! I'm studying to become a News Broadcaster and have been for the past three years. I decided to do this BEFORE I had acne... Now the past two years Ive severely developed it and how the heck am I going to be on television with acne? I dont know what to do now... Im so lost....

[PaulH85]

Keep studying. The acne will pass. The last thing you'd want to do would be to give up on your chosen career and then regret it later. I can see the dilemma though and it's understandable that you would feel that way. Study and give it your best, aim to be the best you can be and that is what will get you to where you want to be. Don't hope to get there despite acne, intend to get there in spite of acne.

[betsy91]

PaulH85, on 29 December 2011 - 12:49 AM, said:

Don't hope to get there despite acne, intend to get there in spite of acne.

I.LOVE.THIS.SO.MUCH.

I'll keep that in mind

[PaulH85]

I used all my brain power on that one, gave me a headache...
Yet again, it's the opposite of what I used to do. I'm kind of in suspense at the moment in as much as that I'm not doing anything, but I do feel like the time is coming when something will inspire me and I'll want to get back out there and rebuild things for myself, starting by getting a new job. At that point, I'll do well to keep those words in mind, too. I'll be amazed if I manage it, would be the first time I'll have actually taken my own advice!

Edited by PaulH85, 29 December 2011 - 05:58 PM.

[betsy91]

Yeah I go through moments of depression and then i get over it and feel like taking on the world and then i get depressed again and then i take on the world. Lol

During my good times that'll motivate me

[thisisnothollywood]

def affects my job.... I work in an aged care home with no air con, so basically its like a sauna all day every day, it just makes my skin ten times worse. I am going overseas in march and when i return, iw ill be looking for another job.

[desertone]

thisisnothollywood, on 30 December 2011 - 12:11 AM, said:

def affects my job.... I work in an aged care home with no air con, so basically its like a sauna all day every day, it just makes my skin ten times worse. I am going overseas in march and when i return, iw ill be looking for another job.

Oh good luck with a new job! My aunt cooked for years and kept atsrigent above the stove and always had great skin. Funny how it plays out for different people.

[thisisnothollywood]

yer the heat always breaks me out
sucks lol
damn summer go away already lol

[steven m jacobson]

i would say when i did have acne and worked that it affected me more than it affected my work production. I still always got the work done, it was just how i did things. i always wanted to avoid people and counted down the clock way too much. now that i dont have it, it is a joy going to work everyday with a smile

[ihateacne202]

I've quit a job n college twice partly cause of my skin , I cant leave the house somedays even If I have my makeup on no one I know really knows how much it bothers me . Ive had acne since I was 11 and even after 2 rounds of accutane I'm still not clear and my hormonal acne can get cystic quite often and living inthe uk and being skint isn't easy to get dans stuff lol x