28 replies to this topic

[carmusen]

I'm talking about random people you see with acne, not people you know. If you're just going to self-pity and say, "I'm the only one in my town with acne!" might as well not reply to the thread.

Whenever I see one, my thought-process is two-fold: one, I think, "I want to be his friend because I know we're both self-conscious and we won't be judgmental of each other"; two, I think, "Thank God for reminding me I'm normal."

[ihatemynose]

It makes them more approachable to me sometimes, but I think wow, that person is really brave.

[Kaylei]

I think nothing really . I just don't stare for a long time because I know how they feel . But I don't see many with acne , I usually just see clear perfect skin everywhere I go I sometimes think "finally!" and not pity for them because I'm going through the same thing and that would be stupid .

[Callum.]

I want to direct them here and offer them advice, but I don't.

[DesiAngel]

I want to reach out to them and make lift their heads up high.

But i don't.
Too self conscious.

[colostomus]

i treat them the same as i treat anyone else, cuz i know what its like to be judged. I do notice that they glance at my face for a second, cuz although i dont have horrible active acne on my face anymore (its moved to my shoulders, needs the extra space i guess lol), i DO have a lot of depressed scars, and i always notice people looking at them, it just doesn't bother me so much anymore cuz i got bigger things to focus on.

[PaulH85]

As people, I've no reason to think anything of them one way or the other if I don't know anything about them. Whoever they are and whether or not I know them, the general rule I apply is that I treat everyone as I would expect them to treat me.

If I see someone with acne, there may well be times when I do feel for them, depending on how they appear to be handling it. I have seen people with similar coping mechanisms to me in they way they might cover part of their face in public or something, or the way they avoid eye contact, etc.. From the years of doing all these different little things which are now second nature, it's easy to spot when other people are doing it and to see why they're doing it. I do wonder if those coping mechanisms work for them properly after a period of time or, if like me, they are struggling to break those patterns but often seem to fall back on them because they're like default behaviours

Also, depending on the situation, I might see if I can pick up on what they're doing. A good example would be if I see someone in a group and they have obvious acne. Despite their skin problems, this person may be confident and outgoing, having fun, and seemingly pretty popular within their group of friends. It's essentially what I'm not or things I don't have as a result of how I've tried to "cope" with my skin over the years. But I will watch and think to myself, 'This person doesn't let their acne bother them and nobody else seems to care either'. The reality may well be that the person in question is actually bothered by their acne but that they simply don't let it get in the way of life or in the way of having fun. By the same token, because of how they accept it in that regard and then get on with things, their friends don't bother about it either. It just shows me that it is possible to do what you want and be who you want to be, regardless, and that it is possible to find people who want to know you for who you are, regardless.

[hotburrito]

I get so weirdly relieved. The other day I was doing some last minute shopping, and I noticed that all the sales girls except one had visible acne/scarring even *with* makeup on. And you know what? They were all gorgeous. It wasn't even a "oh, that girl is pretty even though she has acne" thing, it was more of a "oh look at that pretty girl - oh wait she has a few pimples!" type epiphany. So yeah, that cheered me up a lot

[jjballer22]

i think they're people...um what kind of question is this? they're a person.

[tross87]

"I know that feel, bro" is pretty much what I always think

[Toni Lavigne]

To be quite honest, I think "Oh, I hope you're not as mentally damaged as I am because of acne" or "I know how you feel".

Also, this is the first time I post here in a loooong time, so hello everyone.

[betsy91]

HAHAHA I feel the same way! I want to be friends with them! LOL skip around and hold hands or something....

[Deaninator]

I don't care if I see a stranger with acne mainly because SO many people have acne in vary degrees of severity. I feel that many people share my belief because I have easily made many friends that have and don't have acne at all. I just hate the few people who automatically judge me as a person who doesn't take care of myself just cause I have some spots.

[Viny]

I want to give them a hug and tell them: "Don't worry man, you're not the only one" ahahaha just kidding, but seriously I can get a glimpse of what they think about too!

[beautifuldoll]

My heart absolutely breaks, as i can't bear that someone else experiences the pain I do.

I saw a boy covered with acne, hair in face and hoodie pass by me, he looked my way with that "is that person judging me, do I look ok" look to his face and it broke my damn heart. Can't bear it.

[matt f]

tross87, on 28 December 2011 - 08:13 PM, said:

"I know that feel, bro" is pretty much what I always think

[conjones]

It's a weird mix of emotions for me, first I feel shallow for even noticing at all and I wonder if other people notice too or if I'm just hyper-aware of it because I have acne. Often I feel sympathy for others with acne because I know how lame it feels and sometimes I even feel guilty because I'll see someone with worse skin than I have and I wonder why it gets me so down in the first place. As for how I feel about others with acne, usually it's neutral, or it'll be envy because they seem to be happy/popular w/e even with bad skin, or even pity if they seem very unhappy and alone . The whole situation sucks haha.

[TreatAcne]

Generally, I do not view people and their face/skin/clothes/height/weight/etc... when I am in a casual state of mind in public. TV doesn't help unless it's the news and they are off in the distance, and the newspapers are very careful with taking the pictures they want the most. The only time I will people closely is inside an coffee shop, office building, or doctor appointment waiting rooms. Most of the time, I am so self conscious about my acne that dare not even let it even cross my mind when I am in public, so I ironically forget about everyone else's skin and focus on keeping my head down or hidden behind a magazine or scarf or something...

... But once I do realize that there are people with extremely severe acne, the first thing I notice is that they are strangely oblivious and unaffected by it! They smile a lot, which shows the bumps and wrinkles in their face more, and they even get close to people and hug,/wrestle/laugh with them. They are so involved in their conversations or discussions that they remain casual and almost never touch their own faces. Very few times will I see others purposely hide by tilting their head or resting their head on a desk... but then I think to myself "maybe their heads looking down that way IS them trying to hide... but I can still see everything! If that's the case, then my hiding is not as effective as I think!"

It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized how selfish I was to think that I was the only one with acne depression... but there was a possible theory to this (since many of my depressive memories are gone, it's hard for me to recall them at a specific state): I didn't have a lot of money so I never bought make up, but EVERY OTHER GIRL I knew at school was wearing makeup! They do this in public only and very seldom in private! Even when they are at home and having dinner with their family, they still wear makeup! This wasn't casual or comprehending to me, and since I couldn't afford a lot of it I simply dismissed it altogether. Women not wearing makeup wasn't normal in our town, so I was often picked on and made fun of. But people who DID have oblivious acne that was NOT being picked on at that very moment caused extreme anger inside me. It was a hard thing to bear from others and extremely confusing for me to witness...

What I am trying to say is that I DID notice, but I still thought only of myself and not them. Little did I know that many of them had discussed this problem with other people earlier, thus allowing them to go on about their normal lives. I did not feel sorry for them, I was actually quite jealous of them! If, on a rare note, someone with severe scene did NOT look happy (like me), then I didn't feel like approaching them in any way, I still felt like they were much better in public than I was. Since acne is not contagious by touching or being near others, there was no reason to torture someone about it. This was general knowledge and since it can't be helped, there was a sort of sympathetic emotion towards them that I did, on occasion feel, but not often. When I did, I didn't know what t do for them and wouldn't know how to approach them since skin and facial problems are a very prominent part of our daily living and would seem to strait forward to come out and comment on a person's face acne, no matter how sweet and kind you sounded. It's the last thing I would want to hear, so why tell them? And IF I had clear skin from something that worked, I might look like a crazy person going up to them and suddenly saying "Try This! Try This!".

[ghs10]

When I see a stranger with acne, I normally just want to go up to them and give them a huge hug! This may sound totally strange, but I do. I feel like, after reading all of these posts on acne.org about not feeling good with acne and such, that that person feels the same way about their acne! I don't want anyone to feel like shit because of their looks, because it truly should not matter to anyone what people look like, since it's seriously just what's on the inside that matters to me. I'd then feel really bad for noticing the person had acne before anything else, and judging them on it.

[snsdgirl14]

This may sound weird, but I usually don't think twice when I see someone with acne. I've seen so many people with acne that by now, I think of it as a very common skin issue that many people deal with. When it's severe acne that's really noticeable, I just feel really bad and hope it gets better for them. But I never feel disgusted or like I don't want to talk to that person.