66 replies to this topic

[Bourne]

jeskahoney, on 02 January 2012 - 04:44 PM, said:

Thanks everyone for your comments. Sorry it's been so long, I kinda forgot about this post. I really appreciate all of your comments.
They are helpful. The most challenging thing for me, when dealing with acne, is letting go of my insecurities and just living in spite of
my bad skin.

Aspiring Sociopath, on 22 November 2011 - 11:35 PM, said:

My GF actually has mild hormonal acne (mostly back) but also suffers from a skin picking issue... It does not change the way I look at her or feel about her in any way, however.... I suffer from moderate (facial) acne, scarring, and all of the glory associated with it and sometimes feel as if she is not as understanding. I guess what I am trying to say is that... From my standpoint, Id rather have somebody who truly understands what kind of impact that acne has on my personality and confidence, over a girl that just found me attractive. If acne has taught me anything, its that beauty is something that runs much deeper than the eye can see.

PS. Id never have the guts to walk up to you.. lol

Thanks for this. I actually WANT to date someone who has been through some sort of dealing
with acne so they know what it's like and can sympathize. At the same time, it seems that guys
acne is very short lived.... it's much more persistent in females... no fair.

hay, i just wanted to throw a few of my cents in. one of best things you can learn to do in life is learn to love yourself unconditionally. try to not worry so much what others think about you, the only opinion that matters and should impact or change you is those that come from your closest loved ones.

acne is tough, in fact i'm in my early 20's and i can't even remember what my face looks like clear (on top of that i will probably be left with some scarring once it's gone). you have to remember that you aren't some alien person in a whole different category of humans. nobody is perfect and we all have insecurities and things that we dislike about our bodies or personalities. you have to look past those differences and learn to embrace the life you've been given.

also, you probably wouldn't want to date a guy who would base his decision to date a girl or not based solely on looks.

get to know this website http://www.acneresearch.org/
doing a lot of the things on there will bring you closest to clear skin if not cure you completely, good luck!

[pinkfloydforever]

That's true , I had major acne and now have mild acne with some pit scars that are n't that noticeable but to me they are extremely noticeable because the scars are pretty much on my mind 9/10s of the whole day everyday . I can stare at them for hours,how lame. With that , my left over self esteem I have knows for a fact that I look extremely better than I did before ,but yet I am stuck with the extreme shyness and self consciousness that makes it very difficult for me to approach anyone ,even females as friends. This definitely is not going to help me at all in the relationship/friend field because I am so sure the guys out there who I want to meet have the same problem I have . What a double negative !

[PaulH85]

pinkfloydforever, on 14 January 2012 - 06:00 PM, said:

I am stuck with the extreme shyness and self consciousness that makes it very difficult for me to approach anyone ,even females as friends. This definitely is not going to help me at all in the relationship/friend field because I am so sure the guys out there who I want to meet have the same problem I have . What a double negative !

It took me a very long time to understand that the confidence thing was going to be more of a factor than my skin ever was. I got it wrong and believed that it was all about my skin and so I shied away from stuff, which of course only served to make that self-consciousness even more apparent and I think that's a more unattractive trait than my acne ever was.

Perhaps that would apply to us all, although I do feel it depends on the type of people you approach. It's not always easy because always some narrow-minded fool out there who might decide to say something nasty and you can never be sure if you'll come across them as you try to meet new people, make new friends, find potential dates and so on. I guess it's just a risk everyone has to take.

I certainly think we can counter any physical things such as acne with a positive attitude and a display of confidence, no matter who you're trying to approach. Even if you have to fake it 'til you make it, if that's perceived as confidence then it's a job well done because I'm quite sure, even with zero dating experience, that the most attractive thing to a guy is a girl with what they perceive to be confidence. I bet it's the same the other way round as well because it's all about the vibes we put out and the first impressions we make.

[k3tchup]

i would understand their condition as i would NEVER ever wish this pain, suffering and more on anyone, ever, even those that have crossed me, even those i hold anything against today. So in reply i would say...yes and no... I would do everything to get them back on their feet i tell ya that much.

[rbamf]

the few girls i've met out at night or during the day who have had acne seemed to be withdrawn and in their heads. i honestly thought they were cute girls- otherwise i wouldn't have gone up and talked to them. but it's a real turn off, when you're interacting with someone and you can tell they're not really being themselves.

I can sympathize, because I deal with this shit too. But still, don't let acne stifle your personality. I know easier said than done. Here's the solution: be in the moment and don't think about your acne when you're interacting with a man. Just feel his vibe and know if he's talking to you he thinks you're cute.

[pinkfloydforever]

i hear ya , im actually grateful for staying the person I have always been ,same personality and all . The only thing that is up is my self conscious and down is confidence . Im still working on being able to take the next step with a person who is interested in me, i always seem to run away or stay friends with some lame excuse lol. But yea ,hey they are still my friends so I am doing something right aren't I ? or at least I hope so .

[rbamf]

^ you're cute ;]

most everyone has intimacy issues at some level. some people avoid relationships all together. some people have purely physical relationships. some people settle for less than they deserve. some people are chronic daters. all pretty normal stuff.

sounds like you've got it pretty much handled. you'll meet the right guy who will sweep you off your feet sooner or later.