66 replies to this topic

[jeskahoney]

Hey, so I am just feeling really bad about my skin. I have tried EVERYTHING you could possibly think of. I want to go on accurate but I dont know if it would work because nothing else has. I have all different kinds of acne and just recently developed hormonal acne too which is terrible. Anyway, I am so self conscious about it all the time I can't do anything and feel normal. I tend to avoid social situations as much as I can. My question is, guys, would you date a girl with acne? Would it affect your decision? Also, do you judge people by their skin? I personally don't at all because i know what it's like. Anyway, I included some pictures. You can really tell that much because I don't typically post pics where you can see it but you can still see it cause lighting an makeup can only do so much. I don't want you to think I'm being over dramatic or whatever, because it's really terrible, the pics are very forgiving. Just looking for opinions, I guess...

http://instagr.am/p/LzYLv/
http://instagr.am/p/TABmk/

[Kara =)]

Sorry I'm not a guy lol, but I just wanted to say u are gorgeous! You'll most likely find a guy out there that will like u

[myhorriblehabit]

im not a guy but im going to answer anyways lol. but first let me just say that your absolutely breathtaking!!! personally i dont judge people by their skin either. i have a few friends that are battling acne as well and it doesnt change anyones opinion about them. i always think to myself how courageous they are because the second i start breaking out i find myself being a recluse and canceling plans. we always think our face is 100x worse than what it really is. and you have no reason to be ashamed, your beautiful regardless/ and your acne is not even bad! go out and have fun!

[MCP91]

First guy to reply lol. You would still look good with worse acne then that. Since I have acne and know what it's like, I can easily look past it and I would never think it makes a girl look less attractive.

[hotburrito]

Hmm. I'm going to just be honest here, though I'm also a girl, so you should probably take what I say with a grain of salt.

1) As the other commenters have already pointed out, you're pretty. You have nice facial features and appear to take care of yourself.

2) To answer your answer: specifically, it depends on the guy. Generally, I'd say yes - acne just isn't attractive whether it's on a guy or a girl. It's not something that definitively makes an otherwise attractive person automatically unattractive (so you're lucky you are otherwise attractive), but it still comes pretty close.

3) I'm probably going to make a lot of people angry by saying this, but don't count on your looks in order to get a guy. I don't mean that in a de-objectification/female empowerment kind of way (although that'd be a nice "side effect"), but acne really is a turn-off to a lot of people even if you have pretty features and take care of yourself. Most of the responses you're going to receive from this forum are not only going to have a huge bias because most people here suffer from acne and can therefore sympathize wih your situation, but are going to skew towards the positive because even over the (relatively) anonymous internet people don't like saying "mean" things to people's "faces." Back when I had great skin, I used to always hear my friends making fun of people (not in a super nasty but in a nonetheless very dismissive way) with moderate to severe acne behind their (person-with-acne "their) backs even though they (friends "they") were perfectly nice to those people's faces. People, especially younger folk, are often superficial jerks - albeit multidimensional ones.

4) That being said, don't discount yourself either - just because you have acne doesn't mean you won't be able to physically attract a guy since tastes widely differ.

[mm97]

An acne forum probably isn't the best place to ask. If any guy who is on this forum (thus obviously having/had acne themselves) says he would judge a girl with acne, something is seriously wrong with them and karma will ensue.

But to be honest, I agree with what hotburrito said.

I think the key thing you mentioned in your post was: Also, do you judge people by their skin? I personally don't at all because i know what it's like. That's exactly it. Someone who knows what it's like - not necessarily someone who's had acne, it could just be someone who's had some other sort of insecurity, whether mild or major - is not likely to judge you. But someone who doesn't know what it's like... well, people are judgmental, that's just the truth. That said, I am a girl and I have acne so my perspective on how guys without acne react to girls with acne is definitely not from experience.

[Alex Urig]

Ok, first of all, yes, it is unattractive to most people, including myself, even though I have it really bad haha! Second of all, wow, you're gorgeous, and that's not just because "I don't like saying mean things to people faces" according to this guy^^^. Really, you don't have that bad of acne at all, you're pretty dang hot! Often we over judge ourselves in the mirror; it happens all too often and all too easily. Ever heard of bulimia? It's the head, as is a lot of our self-inflicted acne judgement.

On a more serious, and much deeper note, you are more than you're acne! And I mean this will all seriousness. I have less confidence that you or any person for that matter will believe me when I say this but, who you are is not how you look. That will never change. Never forget that. I know in life, its very easy to think that finding people who are attracted to us is the most important thing, but can you really say that's all there is to you, your face? I for one, having never known you or met you, know that the answer to that is "no." You inherently are, always have been, and forever will be something much greater.

[PaulH85]

There are countless things which people could see as being attractive or unattractive. Acne could well be one of those things.
It depends on both parties I think. For example, if you came across a guy who was pretty specific about it and he was interested only in girls with super clear skin, perhaps he'd move along. But that would be his loss, his problem and not a reflection on you as a person.
By the same token, it can be about how you come across to other people. If you don't let it phase you and instead you are confident and have a story to tell, winning others over with other aspects of yourself and your personality, people would easily look straight beyond your acne.

Personally, I see beyond it every time. That is, however, because of the empathy and understanding I have as a result of dealing with it myself. I can't honestly say what my view point would be had I never had acne, but there's every chance I wouldn't be as understanding.

Looking at your pictures Jessica, I'd assume that your acne is very mild as you cover it well and it's not apparent. In that respect, can't give an honest assessment, but I also feel like that means you shouldn't worry too much because that your work-around until you can clear your skin. Certainly don't let it bring you down or mess with your confidence to the point where you avoid socialising like you say you have, because I know from experience that it's just not worth it.

Edited by PaulH85, 20 November 2011 - 07:25 AM.

[OlympusMons]

Not at your acne level (you're way far actually!)
I'm a guy.

[VenomRx]

Most people judge on looks because that is what they first notice about a person. That being said, it really depends. If the persons character and overall looks over-weigh the acne, then you should not have any problems.

Yes, it does affect a persons decision, but it depends on both of the people involved.

I am a guy. If I got to know you and you seemed like a person with a great character and other positive characteristics. I would not be bothered by it.

Just my two cents.

J.A.

[luckycat]

You are obviously a beautiful girl. The right guy will be able to see that. There was actually a girl that I always thought was absolutely gorgeous and her boyfriend admitted that the amount of attention she regularly received was a challenge for him. I had no idea she had such extensive acne until she washed her makeup off one night. If I would have examined her closely at some point maybe I would have noticed, but her classically beautiful features were far more distracting than her blemishes. I think the same is probably true for you.

As for Accutane, in all likelihood it would clear that right up, if you decided to go that route.

[Cherryx]

I can take a picture of myself where my skin looks perfect

But here is what I think....maybe me having acne is not such a terrible thing. I know that if a guy loves me, he loves me for me, for my personality, not only looks. I may not look so perfect, but if a guy loves me over a girl with a perfect face, I know he sees something special in me.

[Gators_Fan]

I'm gonna take a different approach than most answers on here. Having dealt with acne myself for the last couple years, I find it more unattractive now than when I never had it. Simply because I notice it more, I pay extra attention to peoples skin when I see them now. When I see someone with flawless skin I am envious, when I see someone with acne, I feel bad because it reminds me of all the time I've spent myself trying to get rid of it. I hate to be brutally honest here, but you deserve an honest answer.

As most the people here have said, you're a good looking girl. Your acne looks rather mild, although the pictures lighting makes it tough to tell exactly. You say you've thought about accutane, but don't think it will work because nothing else has. That is what accutane is specifically for, when no other treatments have worked!

[laura.yancie]

I seriously want to give you a huge hug right now.

the honest truth is you're very pretty! I'm a girl, so my opinion might not matter but technically I am attracted to girls (bisexual) and I find you very attractive. it really depends on the guy, I know lots of guys that can look past acne but I also know a lot of guys who are very particular about certain things and wouldn't even consider a girl who gets 1 pimple! those type of guys aren't usually worth your time anyways.

I've never experienced bad acne, only a couple spots but I still felt like nobody would want anything to do with me. like gator_fan said I find acne more noticeable on people because since I've had it it's like I am searching for it on people's faces and I now notice scarring on people too when before I never had.

anyways, don't let it bring you down too much. guys like confident girls, whether or not you have acne. I think you should consider accutane. its the last resort drug, and your acne is no where near severe so it should work.

Edited by laura.yancie, 14 November 2011 - 10:02 PM.

[Tyga]

What happens when a girl who isn't beautiful uploads a photo and asks this question. It would be interesting to see the responses in that thread.

[LiveLaughFart]

Guys are really shallow :/

Girls are suppost to look clean and untouched like an innocent flower...and guys are suppost to look roughed up and hard/tough..so when a girl has acne she is seen as unnatractive.....

[ohhhhhhnooooooo]

Honestly, I think girls with some acne is way better than girls who put on loads of make up.

[Ilovemesomevanity]

Stop that youre gorgeous
But really, like all of the other posts are saying, youre really pretty (i love your eyes! I want to steal them lol)
And even if you do have some acne (teeny bit that you can barely se in the picture if you squint really hard)youll eventually clear up, and you already take good care of yourself, and the people who are worth your time will know that youre classy and you care about looking your best

[Gutterflower]

I'm obviously not a guy, but I wanted to throw my opinion in here anyway.

There are guys out there who do consider acne to be a deal-breaker, and they're not the people you want to be even remotely involved with because you will constantly question the legitimacy of their feelings for you if you do happen to end up with one. You'll take your makeup off and be crippled with self-doubt and doing that to yourself is pointless. I know that we're hard-wired to chase strong genetics in potential partners, but we're intellectually evolved enough to know that it's not just about clubbing the girl with the wider hips and bigger boobs over the head and dragging her back to a cave. A decent guy seeks intelligent, interesting conversation, good company... somebody who they can relate to. If a guy is not mentally developed enough to look past a superficial affliction like acne, let him run around grunting and chasing dinosaurs (okay, I know dinosaurs and humans didn't co-exist but you get what I mean). Anybody who doesn't have the cranial capacity to override their dimwit single-track caveman compulsions is a drag anyway.

tl;dr: dodge douchebags who have a problem with your acne and the right guy who wants more than that will find you.

I'm pretty plain-looking and I have a nice-looking long term boyfriend who makes me comfortable in my own skin, even when my acne is horrific. I don't have your facial features either so there's definitely hope for you.

[beentheredonethat1]

Ugly skin disease, on 14 November 2011 - 11:17 PM, said:

Guys are really shallow :/ Girls are suppost to look clean and untouched like an innocent flower...and guys are suppost to look roughed up and hard/tough..so when a girl has acne she is seen as unnatractive.....

ohhhhhhnooooooo, on 14 November 2011 - 11:42 PM, said:

Honestly, I think girls with some acne is way better than girls who put on loads of make up.

ugly skin disease, i don't quite agree with that assumption. i think what you're really saying is, guys are shallow, they just want a good-looking girl. how is OP seen as unattractive here?

ohhhhnooo, do u even know what you're talking about?

OP, why are you feeling down? you do a good job covering it up and look like one of those popular good-looking girls in high school.

i think it seriously depends on the severity. yours' definitely not. people, in general, think acne is dirty. who likes being dirty, or being with someone dirty? i'm just stating the crude fact that society is based on. i've never and will never think like that.

Edited by beentheredonethat1, 15 November 2011 - 06:08 AM.