17 replies to this topic

[10years on :-(]

My acne turns me into a whole different person! When it is bad I am angry, moody, snappy, grumpy, emotional, boring, a recluse and generally horrible..... If i have a clear week or 2 I suddenly change completely and become a fun, light hearted, kind and basically a nice person. I hate how much my acne changes and affects me but I really cant help it! When i try to explain to my family close friends that acne is the reason for my personality changes they look at me like I'm stupid and completely fob this off as a reason.

Does anyone else's acne affect there personality and make them basically horrible, lol. ??

[AmaraG]

I think, almost everybody on here changes depending on their acne...there are degrees, some handle it better than other--of course some people have much more serious than others--but anyone who says it doesnt or never affects their self-image is either self-deluded, or Mother Theresa.
I know when I break out I cry and want to hide away, and I feel like I dont want anyone looking at me especially people I care about. I know my mother and my husband and close friends dont care and they probably hardly notice but to me, it is embarassing.
Luckily I am mostly clear and I hope you get to that point too. remember you are not the sum of your skin condition, andymore than a person with diabetes or a missing leg is 'less of a person" its just an obstacle we have to try and deal with and if were lucky, overcome.
A

[marissa8161]

For me, its almost kind of the opposite... when I break out really bad, I of course become more sad and quiet, but I also become a much more caring person. I become a good listener and sympathetic to my family, and try to be as helpful and kind as possible. I think its because I feel so bad that they have to look at my ugly face, that I should try to "make up" for how hideous I am by being the nicest person possible. I'm also really appreciative that they're still willing to love me when I'm so ugly, so I try to be extremely loving in return...

When I'm clear, I'm much more free-spirited and opinionated. I still love and care for my family, but I'm not hanging on their every word or clinging to them like a lovesick puppy. I think it probably comes from having confidence in myself... feeling pretty instead of ugly is a powerful thing.

[the uphill battle]

I've been it all. There have been days when I was the devil because my skin was bad, flat out depressed/contemplating suicide and hiding out or trying to really let my personality shine because I know my looks aren't going to help me at all. I have also found that on my really bad skin days, I will feel really needy with my fiance because I start to lose any grasp on why the hell he is even with me.. So I end up trying to be super sweet, hoping that will keep him around. On those days, I feel like I have nothing to offer.

[SoaringButterfly16]

@MJM2010 I am in the exact same boat... its sad and frustrating. I really don't get why my man is with me when I can be so negative and withdrawn (but not all the time). I draw away from him when he tries to kiss my cheek or neck, or when he tries to touch my face. I get paranoid that he will get acne if his face touches mine. I find i get this terrible jealousy when we're out and my face is bad. This is terrible I know that this negativity is not the person I am or who I want to be... its just the acne makes it that way .

[hotburrito]

Me too I mean, my acne is bad all the time now and my entire personality has basically done a 180 since it started, but I still behave pretty differently between my "good" days and "bad" days. On my good days I'm merely sort of meek and accommodating; on my bad days I am legit angry at the world and everybody in it. I snap at people a lot, I get mad at them for not being "sensitive enough to my situation," and I basically waltz around down with a perma-glare on my face. I have been so embarrassingly rude in the past because of my acne that I just don't even know who I am anymore.

[Tyga]

I'm a more paranoid, delusional person when my acne is bad. When my acne is not bad I am still paranoid and delusional. Right now I am paranoid and delusional.

[colostomus]

i dont do this so much anymore, but yeah when i was younger and i got really bad breakouts i threw major tantrums; broke things, yelled and cried, big dramatic performances, eventually i just grew out of it, now when i get breakouts i just keep going through my day anyway cuz stressing over them DEFINITELY wont help

Edited by colostomus, 11 November 2011 - 10:04 AM.

[maimy]

When my skin is particularly bad, I become extremely boring. I pretty much lose the will to live, because acne gets me down so much. I don't feel like myself, so I don't act like myself. When my skin is clearer, I feel lighter and happier. It's like having a dual personality.

Edited by maimy, 11 November 2011 - 03:52 PM.

[amy91]

Sometimes I think that my entire life and emotions are dictated by acne. Sounds stupid, but its actually true. When I get bad breakouts, I usually don't wanna leave my house, go to college/store or even talk to people. I refuse to go out with my family or friends, even tho I know it hurts them, but I will not enjoy it with my skin. I know, I should not let it control my life, but when you go out, you want to look at least 'presentable', but with these scars it's impossible ( and I don't use any facial makeup). And when I get clear, I become a different person ( usually better),hehe. I want to go out. dolling up, talk to people, participate on class discussions and etc. And I smile a lot.
So yeah, you're definitely not alone with rollercoaster emotions and confidence levels with acne.

[AmaraG]

I'm a more paranoid, delusional person when my acne is bad. When my acne is not bad I am still paranoid and delusional. Right now I am paranoid and delusional.

at least you have your sense of humour .
I know Im doing well, one of the voices in my head is a psychiatrist, and he says Im fine.

[clint1285]

yep, when i have a breakout, i like to stay at home and do nothing, when im clear, i like to socialize

[lightersUP]

Pretty much what everyone here said applies to me.

When I've had bad breakouts, bad skin, I'd be the most reclusive person ever. I would literally wish the days away and not want to talk to or interact with anyone. Someone wants to hangout with me? Can't. Someone talks to me in person? I'd have a really grumpy, depressed demeanor and immediately get away.

Just being in public with active spots was the worst! Any reflections of my face would stab me like 1000 knives and I'd make sure that no one would get close enough to inspect my face. If they did, then I'd just say a few words and get the hell away from them. I also notice my general thoughts tend to be negative and pessimistic when my skin was bad. I would question God and why he is doing this to me and what the hell is wrong with my body for allowing acne onto my face. I'd be really angry at my parents for giving me my particular genes. It's just a very bad place to be and you feel like the whole world is conspiring against you to put you through this torment that is called acne.

When I'm clear though I just feel free to do anything, be anywhere in any kind of lighting, talk to anyone, and just enjoy life and feel very confident in myself.

[sammyohh]

i'm usually insanely, and i mean INSANELY emotional when my skin is bad. i feel like everything in life is collapsing and that i don't wanna live anymore... it's a pretty big problem for me. so hard to control these insecurities. perfect skin = perfect life...

[blackblake]

Pretty much what everyone here said applies to me.

When I've had bad breakouts, bad skin, I'd be the most reclusive person ever. I would literally wish the days away and not want to talk to or interact with anyone. Someone wants to hangout with me? Can't. Someone talks to me in person? I'd have a really grumpy, depressed demeanor and immediately get away.

Just being in public with active spots was the worst! Any reflections of my face would stab me like 1000 knives and I'd make sure that no one would get close enough to inspect my face. If they did, then I'd just say a few words and get the hell away from them. I also notice my general thoughts tend to be negative and pessimistic when my skin was bad. I would question God and why he is doing this to me and what the hell is wrong with my body for allowing acne onto my face. I'd be really angry at my parents for giving me my particular genes. It's just a very bad place to be and you feel like the whole world is conspiring against you to put you through this torment that is called acne.

When I'm clear though I just feel free to do anything, be anywhere in any kind of lighting, talk to anyone, and just enjoy life and feel very confident in myself.

That's pretty much how i am.

[pugrocker]

Im a depressed anxiety mess when my face turns to hell. I've even ended up in the ER 5 times cause I was ready to stick a bullet in my brain. Im 41 and still dealing with this crap and I have a appointment with my doctor next month in hope of getting some Doxycycline for at least 6 months, cause I was on it once and it helped and Im seeing VAN HALEN in June and I dont wanna have my damn face to worry about, but its just awful how acne turns me into a Mr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

[soysauce]

Yes, probably like most people on here I turn into a completely different person. Ugh, like would be great without acne.

[Angela Fawn Leach]

I came online because I have no one to talk to. Even though you are all invisible strangers on the other side of my computer screen, just reading that other people are going through the same thing makes me feel less alone.

Tonight I found out a rumor that is circulating about me. Some people seriously believe that I am a crack head. They think that the reason my skin looks the way it does is because I have a substance abuse problem. What is really awful, I actually feel that away. I feel like I'm addicted to drugs, and I can't find a cure. Or maybe the horrendous cystic acne is addicted to me. When I heard this rumor, it was a wake up call for me.

I have been lying to myself. I have been saying its not that bad. It hurt so much to hear that rumor... but it made me realize just how much this scarring, stinging, cystic acne affects my life. I avoid people. I avoid social situations. I avoid dating. I'm 24. I shouldn't be living in a cave. And I always told myself, "I just don't feel like going out for X or Y reason." But the truth is, I've been hiding from the world. Hiding from life.

So, I understand your pain. Whoever reads this, I get it. You're not alone. I know that some people think you're unhygenic. I know that some people think you have a bad diet. I know that some people may even think you have a drug problem. I know what it feels like to catch a reflection of yourself and cringe, and maybe not even recognize your own face. I know what it feels like when you want to punch a good-natured person in the face for suggesting you try this or you try that, when you have tried EVERYTHING. I even know what it feels like to want to go to bed and never wake up, ever again.

This isn't petty like wanting a different nose. There's no "unhygenic" or "unhealthy" or "crackhead" stigma attached to not liking your hair or cheekbones. There is a horrible cultural misunderstanding for genetic acne. But whatever you're feeling, I feel it too. So do many others. I know your pain, and even though you can't see my face, I'm a person. And this person hopes you stay strong and find your cure.

Peace,
Angie

PS: In one month, once I have jumped through all the legal hoops, I will begin Accutane. I researched it for months before I decided to take this one last chance to cure my "crackheadness." I've been on antiobiotics, topicals, vitamins, birth control, ancient mayan beauty secrets, oil-washing, and even a little praying (to ANY deity). I've done it all. Accutane is my last chance. I'm even considering posting pictures of the process (along with side effects) to give those considering an idea of what to expect.

If it doesn't work, I will throw in the towel and hate the universe. Forever. I'll be a bitter old "crackhead" till my grave.