124 replies to this topic

[dreamer003]

Omg i would freak out too! Isn't better to stop the medication until you talk to your derm?
I hope you're okay

Edited by dreamer003, 26 October 2011 - 08:37 AM.

[Riosha]

Thanks, dreamer
...and yeah - I know... I probably should stop it...for now, but...

The thought about how good it could be makes me not want to take a break from it. Actually just like if it really was a guy. Once you need a break...it might be the beginning of the end.
I wanna work myself through this, I don't want to take it for even longer time than I was supposed to... I'd rather have it solved and done as soon as possible.

I've decided to believe in the best, but I lowered the dose and only taken half tonight. 20mg it is.
And yes, I will call my derm tomorrow. Definitely.
But I'm hoping for this to be okay and if she says no - I'll listen to her.
I'm happy the eye doctor said nothing's wrong, though. It means the world

[iKrys]

I just wanted to say I am very thankful that you are telling us your journey with Accutane. This is helping me a lot through-out mine. I'm on Day 16 and I got a lot of crazy things going on and it is kind of scaring me. (Have thoughts of coming off of it cause I don't know whether it's getting worst before it's getting better or I'm having problems...) Annoyingly, I can't just get an appointment with my Dermatologist because he only comes to the Hospital I go to once every month.

[Riosha]

iKrys - I am very thankful you're all willing to listen and support me

...today has ended up being day 17.

Because yes - I am continuing my horrid fling with Mr. Accutane. And I forgot to call my derm for advice, so I called her too late, then she was supposed to call me back, but never did...
So now I just took half dose again tonight - 20mg - and I am...alright.
Blurry vision on my one eye - yes- but actually I had been thinking about getting reading glasses for a while and I think it might be more related to all my screen work. And not my new relation with Mr. Accu...
Besides it doesn't feel that unusual today, my vision has been bad on my one eye for a while and today wasn't any worse than three months ago.

Ok, so...now on to the regular side effects:

Skin is...well, strange. SO oily and SO dry - at the same time!! It's like every little pore is purging junk - eww - it's just there in the surface. At the same time I can practically peel off my entire face in disgusting flakes.
And my lips. OUCH.
I was stupid - the stupidest! - and went to work for frikkin 10 hours today and I forgot my chapstick!! My lips were hurting and bleeding and...oooh.

I just put so much fat moisturizer on my face when I got home ten minutes ago and it felt like heaven.
I hope I'll soon feel and look better all in all.
I hate looking people int he eyes these days. My face is disgusting.

I miss my ex-boyfriend. But I wouldn't wanna be with him like this. Then I'd rather date Mr. Accu.

[sasch12]

Riosha, on 27 October 2011 - 02:23 PM, said:

iKrys - I am very thankful you're all willing to listen and support me

...today has ended up being day 17.

Because yes - I am continuing my horrid fling with Mr. Accutane. And I forgot to call my derm for advice, so I called her too late, then she was supposed to call me back, but never did...
So now I just took half dose again tonight - 20mg - and I am...alright.
Blurry vision on my one eye - yes- but actually I had been thinking about getting reading glasses for a while and I think it might be more related to all my screen work. And not my new relation with Mr. Accu...
Besides it doesn't feel that unusual today, my vision has been bad on my one eye for a while and today wasn't any worse than three months ago.

Ok, so...now on to the regular side effects:

Skin is...well, strange. SO oily and SO dry - at the same time!! It's like every little pore is purging junk - eww - it's just there in the surface. At the same time I can practically peel off my entire face in disgusting flakes.
And my lips. OUCH.
I was stupid - the stupidest! - and went to work for frikkin 10 hours today and I forgot my chapstick!! My lips were hurting and bleeding and...oooh.

I just put so much fat moisturizer on my face when I got home ten minutes ago and it felt like heaven.
I hope I'll soon feel and look better all in all.
I hate looking people int he eyes these days. My face is disgusting.

I miss my ex-boyfriend. But I wouldn't wanna be with him like this. Then I'd rather date Mr. Accu.

Riosha - you'll get through this. I'm definitely gong through similar issues and at times i feel sad and deflated but i keep on trucking. Please make sure you get in touch with your derm again if you don't hear back from them by tomorrow. Some side effects are not typical and have to followed upon. I know what it feels like not wanting to look people in the face because of our skin. It will get better hun. As for the chapstick.....i keep some at home, in my jacket pocket and at my job. Believe me, i learned to do all those things through an experience like yours )

Stay strong in regards to the ex. He's obviously an ex for a reason. Can't wait to read more.

[Riosha]

Dear Sascha - thanks, again! You're such a fantastic support...

So...the derm called me back today, but I couldn't make it to the phone and when I called her back it said that the clinic had closed up for the weekend.
So I'm somewhat medicating myself now and decided to take 40mg today. Which is already done.
I'll make sure to call her back on Monday. That's a promise!

Nevertheless it is day 18:

Skin is dry and peeling. Yukk.
And I am soooooooooo tired today. Feeling sleepy. Just wanting to...sleep. But I know that's a side effect, cause I've been sleeping for nine hours every night for the past ten days or so... I have vivid dreaming, though. Strange and lively dreams. Dreams that I actually remember when I wake up - which is sad, because most of them involve the one I've given up after having met Mr. Accutane.
Constantly thinking about him...knowing that I have nothing to offer while I have Mr. Accutane on the side. Accu does not want to share me with anyone. I am bound to follow that wish. Anyways - it doesn't matter, because it's not like a have a choice. There is no going back, when there is nobody wanting me back.

I'm going out for drinks tonight if I can keep myself awake. I hope so. One drink would only do me good - and I'm sure Mr. Accu will be merciful on just one.
It's all about not crossing that line...

[Jamie Ann]

I know I've never replied here but good luck! I'm on like day 80. Trust me it's okay to drink every so often! I drank last month and had no problems. And I drank last night and so far so good too.

[Riosha]

Thanks, Jamie Ann! I need the good luck...

So far Mr. Accu seems to have decided not to punish me for yesterdays drinks. I know he's unpredictable, though. The fury can show up out of a sudden...

It felt good going out for drinks. Although I'm tired I think it's actually important not to isolate myself too much.
I did however notice a lot of huge ugly dry spots in my face when I got home late last night. I hate to think of the fact that everybody's been looking a that all night...but hey. So what?! This is my super-ugly period. Starting in a few weeks everything (I) will look brighter!

[sasch12]

I love your upbeat attitude Riosha! Accutane definitely picks and chooses when to be sweet and when to be sour. Drinking in moderation is definitely KEY! Keep up with the great attitude.

[Riosha]

But Sasch - we have made it to day 19 now. Now it's only a matter of weeks before progress should start to show...
I guess you just pay that expensive price in advance in order to receive the full package

It's Saturday night and I just got home from a friends' house. Dinner and two glasses of nice wine. Now I'm sipping just a third before I go to bed. And so what...?
I'm early off to bed as I am working tomorrow.

My skin is starting to feel so dry that it is actually painful.
It's like...on my chin where the two huge inflamed cysts were sitting until just a few days ago are now two spots which are soooo dry. And in a way so it's like one layer of raw skin that doesn't stretch in any way. So whenever I'm smiling or laughing it hurts so bad. And the way it looks...aw. I can't even mention it. It's blood red, peeling and it looks just weird.

Otherwise than that I'm...tired. The words that leave me mouth are not...well...sentences. And they don't express what was in my head...because somehow I tend to forget what the intention of saying something was in the process of saying it. Sleep is essential.

I've done a dose of 40mg today as well as yesterday. Self medicating again.

I'll call the derm om Monday...

[Riosha]

It's time for a theme song for this log:



Am I the only one who find this is worth listening to one more time...?

Come on, folks. We can do it!

[Riosha]

Day 20

Wow - it's almost been three weeks now. I don't know if I feel like it has passed fast or has gone by slowly... I definitely feel like I've been sleeping my way though it, though. I still do.

Today I was soooooo tired at work that I couldn't concentrate at all! It was horrible!
I cannot stay on Accutane if this is the price. I have to be awake when working! Has any of you experienced that you become less tired later on during the treatment period?? Please answer, Accu veterans!
I am too tired, really. It makes me want to go off them.
So...I only did 20mg today because of that.

I'm still breaking out. Dry skin, though. But my jaw is...well, like it has been for a while. Sore, red and...filled with pus, yukk!

Also...I feel like I'm retaining water - or (which is worse) gaining weight! I am sooo hungry all the time... I feel like I'm going through a constant PMS...
Have any of you girl Accu-buddies tried that...?

[sasch12]

Riosha, on 30 October 2011 - 05:56 PM, said:

Day 20

Wow - it's almost been three weeks now. I don't know if I feel like it has passed fast or has gone by slowly... I definitely feel like I've been sleeping my way though it, though. I still do.

Today I was soooooo tired at work that I couldn't concentrate at all! It was horrible!
I cannot stay on Accutane if this is the price. I have to be awake when working! Has any of you experienced that you become less tired later on during the treatment period?? Please answer, Accu veterans!
I am too tired, really. It makes me want to go off them.
So...I only did 20mg today because of that.

I'm still breaking out. Dry skin, though. But my jaw is...well, like it has been for a while. Sore, red and...filled with pus, yukk!

Also...I feel like I'm retaining water - or (which is worse) gaining weight! I am sooo hungry all the time... I feel like I'm going through a constant PMS...
Have any of you girl Accu-buddies tried that...?

Riosha i am going through similar issues and i find that taking my pill at night helps tremendously! I have had lots of problems sleeping so it helps me to fall and stay asleep. I still feel lethargic though so i try to exercise, move around, anything to keep active. I think your body will get used to it over time. In the meantime, try to limit simple high carb foods which can spike your blood sugar quickly and hence, make you tired as a dog. i feel the same way about claravis (not wanting to finish treatment) and i go back and forth with days where i want to quit and days that i want to continue. Do what feels right for your body and don't ignore signs of side effects. Your face is doing exactly what it is supposed to do so keep in mind that you are on the road to results. Keep your spirits up hun

[Riosha]

Aww, thanks once again, sweet Sascha. I'm so happy to find your many replies here. It keeps me going

It's day 21.

Yes, folks - I am three weeks in now!!! And my skin is dry and flaking, flaking, FLAKING all frikkin over!

I consulted my derm today and she suprised me really!
When I told her about my dizziness and the blurry vision on my one eye after having doubled my dose, she was like..."oh, well - thinking about it 40mg is actually the dose for someone weighing 60 lbs. more than you, so...yeah. Maybe it's too much for you"
So WHY did I need to up it at first and go through all of this??!!

We decided to keep me at 20-30mg for the rest of my course. Which is fine with me. Though it might take me longer then... But I can't handle being so tired. Or going blind.
Oh - yeah, and then she was like..."feeling tired wouldn't be caused by the pills. They don't make you tired"
Well, something tells me she's wrong here. Hasn't she ever given the pills to anybody else...? I'm surprised by how little she seems to know or care to know about.

Anyways - I am peeling so badly that huge flakes of skin come falling off my face all day and it looks ridiculous!!!!!
It's disgusting. I hate looking like this!

I went to bed last night and although I was tired I couldn't sleep until 5 this morning and I had to get up at 8.30.
So I was sooo tired again today and tonight I'm feeling dizzy, stressed out and extremely melancholic about my recent break up. When does it pass?
I've called my job and told them I'm ill for tomorrow... I know it's wrong but I can't handle going there. I'm usually never sick, but I just can't handle it...
When will this get any better...???

Edited by Riosha, 31 October 2011 - 03:10 PM.

[brownbag]

Riosha, sorry you're going through such a tough time. Is your moisturizer not helping your dry and flaky skin? My derm said to just keep applying moisturizer as many times as necessary to keep the dryness down. For me I'm only flaky around my zits that are drying up and healing. Are you just flaky all over or just around your problem areas?

Accutane definitely makes you more tired and I think it gets better in month two when your body has become more accustomed to the medicine.

As for your ex, I don't know what you're going through but I'm sure it hurts and it will take some time to get used to being single again. It's nice to have Accutane to worry about though so I would just focus on that only and ignore everything else. Before you know it your skin will be clear and your heart will be healed.

[Riosha]

Brownbag - thank you so much for the support!
And helpful advises. It means a lot!

Well yeah - I am only flaking around my problem areas, but it's a lot. It's like...Skin keeps dying and falling off in dead and quite big flakes that just suddenly appear.
And it seems like certain spots in my face can keep on producing them over and over and over again - just to reveal sore, red and inflamed skin underneath that hurts.
I'm applying moisturizer as many times a day as possible, but I have very long days at work when I have to cover things up with make up and can't apply anything.
I know make up is bad bad bad, but I have to use it in order to leave my house and not just feel like staying at home... I guess you know what it's like. Most girls here do, I assume

I have no idea why my derm denies that Accutane should make you tired. I seriously have nooo idea why. I'm quite sure it does, though. I hope I'll get more used to the drug and feel better eventually

Regarding the ex...yeah, well... He meant a lot to me really and I was with him for quite a while, but out of fear of losing him I never had the guts to show myself without make up (like at night) or reveal how much this bugged me. So although I really, really, really miss him it has been a relief somehow being able to relax and for instance wash my face in the evening... It might sound stupid, but it is I just miss him, because I love him still.

Thank you once again so much, Brownbag

[sasch12]

Riosha, on 31 October 2011 - 03:09 PM, said:

Aww, thanks once again, sweet Sascha. I'm so happy to find your many replies here. It keeps me going

It's day 21.

Yes, folks - I am three weeks in now!!! And my skin is dry and flaking, flaking, FLAKING all frikkin over!

I consulted my derm today and she suprised me really!
When I told her about my dizziness and the blurry vision on my one eye after having doubled my dose, she was like..."oh, well - thinking about it 40mg is actually the dose for someone weighing 60 lbs. more than you, so...yeah. Maybe it's too much for you"
So WHY did I need to up it at first and go through all of this??!!

We decided to keep me at 20-30mg for the rest of my course. Which is fine with me. Though it might take me longer then... But I can't handle being so tired. Or going blind.
Oh - yeah, and then she was like..."feeling tired wouldn't be caused by the pills. They don't make you tired"
Well, something tells me she's wrong here. Hasn't she ever given the pills to anybody else...? I'm surprised by how little she seems to know or care to know about.

Anyways - I am peeling so badly that huge flakes of skin come falling off my face all day and it looks ridiculous!!!!!
It's disgusting. I hate looking like this!

I went to bed last night and although I was tired I couldn't sleep until 5 this morning and I had to get up at 8.30.
So I was sooo tired again today and tonight I'm feeling dizzy, stressed out and extremely melancholic about my recent break up. When does it pass?
I've called my job and told them I'm ill for tomorrow... I know it's wrong but I can't handle going there. I'm usually never sick, but I just can't handle it...
When will this get any better...???

Riosha, sweetheart, you will make it through this - i promise As for your derm, don't take what she says at face value but instead, do your research on the internet, speak to other people, read articles to find out what is normal and what isn't. The arroganc eof some of these doctors really surprises me sometimes. Cetaphil moisturizing cream works wonders so try it! The peeling will ease up soon so just hang with it.

As for the ex, be strong. You are a beautiful person inside and out and you deserve someone who can make you feel that way. We're all here for you

[brownbag]

Riosha, on 01 November 2011 - 07:29 AM, said:

Brownbag - thank you so much for the support!
And helpful advises. It means a lot!

Well yeah - I am only flaking around my problem areas, but it's a lot. It's like...Skin keeps dying and falling off in dead and quite big flakes that just suddenly appear.
And it seems like certain spots in my face can keep on producing them over and over and over again - just to reveal sore, red and inflamed skin underneath that hurts.
I'm applying moisturizer as many times a day as possible, but I have very long days at work when I have to cover things up with make up and can't apply anything.
I know make up is bad bad bad, but I have to use it in order to leave my house and not just feel like staying at home... I guess you know what it's like. Most girls here do, I assume

I have no idea why my derm denies that Accutane should make you tired. I seriously have nooo idea why. I'm quite sure it does, though. I hope I'll get more used to the drug and feel better eventually

Regarding the ex...yeah, well... He meant a lot to me really and I was with him for quite a while, but out of fear of losing him I never had the guts to show myself without make up (like at night) or reveal how much this bugged me. So although I really, really, really miss him it has been a relief somehow being able to relax and for instance wash my face in the evening... It might sound stupid, but it is I just miss him, because I love him still.

Thank you once again so much, Brownbag

We all have our insecurities and I used to be like that too about never letting anyone see me with makeup. I would go to bed with makeup on whenever I slept over at my bf's or friend's house then wake up in the morning to put on more powder just to make sure I look presentable. It was so bad for my skin and made me break out like crazy. Eventually I just didn't care anymore. My current bf has seen me at my worst where I wasn't able to kiss him because of all the painful cysts on my face. Despite it all, he still calls me beautiful everyday and really understood all the pain I was going through with my acne. Life is too short to settle. You need a guy who makes you feel beautiful no matter what. =)

[Riosha]

Sascha and Brownbag - you are the sweetest!
Thank you so much. I know I've said this before but this support means so much to me. I couldn't do it without this...

I've skipped updating in here for a couple of days as I've been extremely busy at work - which gets me to day 24. Already!

Skin is still dry as...&%#!! But I'm dealing with it... I saw my derm today and my blood samples were fine.
She asked me a lot of questions regarding my skin, vision, mood etc... She said I should keep on applying lots and lots of moisturizer and that the dryness will decrease in a couple of months once I'm used to the drug.
We decided to keep me at 30mg for now, which is fine with me...

She asked me about my mood and I said that well...yeah, so I had skipped a day at work, because I felt like sh*t. Like I wasn't worth anything at all.
She looked like that was worrying her, but then I explained to her that if things got seriously bad I'd tell her.
I don't see that I'm on my way to an actualy depression right now. I just am like this. I think too much about stuff and I'm used to having an existential crisis.
I've been thinking about my ex a lot lately - but girls - you're right. I do deserve someone who will appreciate me for who I am. And he didn't.
I've been thinking about that fact that he - more than anybody else I know - enjoys judging people and expressing his opinions on how people should be. Like they aren't good enough if they're not like him and don't share his taste for music, arts, shopping habits etc. He only goes for luxury - and I guess I wasn't. But then again - is anyone really? There are still apparently guys who are interested in me and finds me a nice and pretty person...so maybe I'm not the one who's gone wrong here. I have to look at this like that.
Once my skin clears up I'll have one less concern!

I'm off to a small trip for ten days from tomorrow, so I don't know how much I'll be updating...
But THANK YOU, GIRLS You are SWEET!

[breesy]

Good trip to you, remember to moisturise alot/sunscreen if you're going somewhere warm and sunny Have fun!