218 replies to this topic

[ahasegawa]

When I was on a pill (forgot the name) it made me feel depressed. And I KNOW its the pill I took because I am a VERY peppy person and it just made me feel groggy and I couldnt handle stressful situations as best as I could before taking that pill. I have heard that YAZ is notorious for causing roller coaster emotions and even depression.

[Gutterflower]

I'm usually pretty upbeat and friendly too, but I'm so snappy lately, and my poor boyfriend is suffering because of it. I guess birth control pills are so effective because if he gets within a foot of me I just get angry. So hey, I can't get pregnant.

[jennifer36]

Gutterflower, on 27 September 2011 - 10:51 PM, said:

Thanks Jennifer! I don't think I could forget to take it! I'm reminded every time I look in the mirror. Plus I have waited so long just to be on it, so I can't foresee myself forgetting to take it. I'm all of two and a half days in... it feels like forever. I'm like "Aw man, you mean I have to continue to have a life in the meantime?!"

Oh! Also, are you still clear now?

Hey! I forgot to check back for your reply, but unfortunately I'm not clear anymore! The clear skin lasted about 6 months post-accutane, although my skin isn't as bad as it was before. It hasn't been long enough since my course either (9 months or so) so I can't take a touch-up course yet. I'm doing a vegan/no sugar/no salt diet atm though and it's helping a lot, day 7 today and significant improvement. I actually started a log about my my skin diet! I have a few friends who took accutane and it kept them almost 100% clear, except for those hormonal zits every month.

[Gutterflower]

Are you considering doing another course since diet changes seem to be helping you out? Thank you for the reply! I've tried to clear myself with diet changes before but I couldn't do it.

[ahasegawa]

Diets....dear lord they are hard I have such a hard time portioning!! And I love my carbs and cheeses!!!!

[Gutterflower]

Day 10

I feel fine today. I've had a few new spots here and there, only small ones, and the giant one on my jaw seems to be going away. I didn't get an IB, really, but I imagine I'll break out more when my dosage is put up. Yay. I didn't take BC last night. I'm not taking it anymore. My doctor's surgery is closed until next week so I'll have to talk to him about an IUD then, but it's not like abstaining is a difficult thing given that it is my choice to make. I feel better this morning, less tired, even though I didn't sleep a lot, so I'm putting the tiredness down to the pill.

ahasegawa, on 04 October 2011 - 11:06 AM, said:

Diets....dear lord they are hard I have such a hard time portioning!! And I love my carbs and cheeses!!!!

Oh I hear you. Peanut butter is my kryptonite. I've felt so fat lately! (I'm blaming that on Yasmin too ).

[PaulH85]

Hurray for double figures!

Good to hear that things are going alright, and indeed that you're not as tired. I still think sleeping under the desk is the way to go!

Peanut butter is awesome. I had peanut butter on toast earlier, just a random craving. Nothing wrong with it, vitamin P is good for you!
That's how I categorise my foods by the way; just take the first letter of the food and stick 'vitamin' in front. Makes me feel like it's good for me. Other great sources of vitamin P include Pizza, Pie, Pasta and Popcorn!

Edited by PaulH85, 04 October 2011 - 04:49 PM.

[Gutterflower]

Ah I used to love pizza! I can't eat it anymore though, I have no gall bladder so it gives me cramps. How I'm still alive is beyond me. No pizza?!

[jennifer36]

I've been craving pizza like never before. I love peanut butter also, I found an all natural one with no added anything except peanuts, so it fits into my skin diet. I'm not sure right now how I feel about another course of accutane, I still have periodic joint pain from my first course, waiting to see if that goes away first. And I'd definitely prefer the natural route if it helps me. Also I never had an IB while I was on accutane, even when my dose went up to 60mg/day, my skin just started clearing after the first week/two weeks.

[Gutterflower]

Day 11

So, 11 days in and everything is dandy. I'm breaking out, which is no big deal, since I'm not even two weeks in. My lips are dry like the Sahara, my eyes aren't too bad, I'm still pretty tired a lot of the time but in a MUCH MUCH better mood since I stopped taking Yasmin. My cheeks aren't flushing anymore which is nice.

The only real issue for me at the moment is the itching. My head itches like crazy, and so does my face. I feel like a flea-infested dog, sitting at my desk and scratching all day. I know my skin is drying out, because it's starting to flake, it's less oily and it mainly itches where I'm flaking, but my head is driving me absolutely mad so I'm thinking maybe Head & Shoulders shampoo might help a little. I'm sitting here at my desk right now trying my absolute hardest to keep from scratching like crazy. This is so frustrating.

SO FAR SO GOOD GUYSSSS HURHUR. /scratches self into a stump

Edited by Gutterflower, 05 October 2011 - 11:53 PM.

[Gutterflower]

Day 13

So, tomorrow will be my official two week mark... my skin is finally drying up a little. It seems to start out oily then become progressively drier as the day goes on. My lips are dry and peeling. The frustrating part of this isn't so much the peeling itself, is that I'm applying lip balm and it's getting mixed up in the peeling skin, and it all just feels like a waxy mess. Pardon the kind of disgusting detail there...

Anyway, I have a few new nodules, one big deep one on my cheek, two on my forehead above my eyebrows and a couple around my mouth that hurt. I'm trying to resist the urge to pick or squeeze them. Even when the scabs flake off by themselves, it leaves very new, pink skin exposed that I have to be especially careful with.

I should also probably note that since coming off of Yasmin I've broken out in papules/pustules around my mouth and along my jawline, which is why I don't like messing with my hormones. It always seems to go haywire. And I'm still so incredibly moody. I'm 90% my boyfriend is sick of me, because I get grumpy at him, and I cry about things, and I think I'm fat, and this and that... ah, I hate being a girl, it's lame...

Plus, tonight I got a text from him saying that he thinks my house breaks him out, and that he thinks it might be my problem. I don't really understand this since I've had acne since I was 11. I don't live in a castle, but my house is clean. He grew up in an upper-class environment, so we always have a bit of a clash of sorts going on there. I don't know if I'm just being especially touchy or not. I just don't like how it seems he is insinuating that I'm dirty, or my house is filthy or something.

[PaulH85]

I'd be pretty annoyed if someone suggested my house broke them out. Not just because that's nonsense, but yes, I would feel like they were insinuating my place was dirty. Plus, right at the time when your skin's probably on your mind the most, you'd be justified in feeling like maybe he was trivialising your issues. Still, up to you how you approach it of course, perhaps best not to rise to it and save yourself the agro.

Nothing wrong with having a cry about stuff or wanting to vent. That's perfectly natural and certainly no reason to hate you, silly!
Besides, if we can't do that with a partner and cry on their shoulder, then who can we? That's what they're there for, right?!

Anyway, that's enough emo stuff!

Good to hear the oiliness is slowing down. Pity it swaps with dryness of course, but at least it's a sign that things are changing. Shedding that skin is going to solve the scars in the end so if you pay attention to the fact that it's sensitive and try your best not to cause further scarring in the meantime by avoiding picking/squeezing then it'll work out in the end. Not that I can really preach or give tips about not squeezing and stuff, I'm terrible for it. All you can do is try your best.

Edited by PaulH85, 09 October 2011 - 10:14 AM.

[Gutterflower]

I got angry at him, but he didn't really understand why. I guess I'm especially delicate when it comes to the subject at hand, generally I'm not too bad when it comes to other things, you know? He sort of smoothed it out eventually and I'm over it now, but little quips like that... well, I guess I just want him to understand to some degree, but he doesn't, because he has perfect skin and when he gets two whiteheads he freaks out. He suffers so much from only-child syndrome that he can be surprisingly unsympathetic and selfish without realizing (I'm not saying that I'm perfect of course) and he views the world differently to me. It's a wonder we even get along sometimes. I think I'm just in a generally flat mood today, most of the time I am content with him.

My brain knows that I shouldn't pick or anything, but it's so hard to resist sometimes because Accutane makes all my spots actually ache. It sucks. Oh well... for the greater good, I suppose.

[PaulH85]

You know, I bet we'd be the same if we couldn't relate. Well, to a point at least, in that we probably wouldn't understand right away.
Even if this stuff messes with our perceptions, it does perhaps teach us to be more tolerant and understanding in general, and certainly of those who also deal with it. We can't justifiably hold it against those who haven't experienced it for not being able to relate. To fill in the blanks, all we can do is explain and hope they catch on.

If you can articulate how it's those little things which push your buttons and how you are feeling so delicate about all this, it may go a long way. It may even be a case of having to be so direct as to say, 'This is how I feel, this is why I feel this way, and here's what I need you to please do to help me.'
In an ideal world, I'm sure you'd rather not have to spell it out, but if it brings the desired outcome and the support you need, that's the main thing I guess.

In all honestly Elle, I don't know if this is any use. Hope it helps but, for all I know, I could be talking utter rubbish. My lack of experience in the relationship department probably means I suck at this stuff.

But, like you say, the rest of it is for the greater good. Chin up!

Edited by PaulH85, 09 October 2011 - 07:01 PM.

[Gutterflower]

Oh, I think everybody has their "stuff", mine just happens to be the acne thing. It's just difficult to explain things to somebody who has been raised with a silver spoon in his mouth. I love him, he's cool people, and he tries pretty hard most of the time, it just struck a nerve with me, especially his insinuation that acne makes people ugly. I know he didn't mean it that way, really, but I couldn't help but be hurt by it because he knows - I have explained it to him thoroughly - that it's a touchy subject for me, and I've spent half of my life believing that I'm ugly because of my skin. It's all good. I know that half of this is because of my moods lately, I apologize to Rob constantly and he is quick to forgive, so even though I'm a screaming banshee of a girlfriend who makes his life incredibly difficult with my perpetual PMS, he doesn't seem to mind all that much. It's okay!

I'm not a natural romantic, so I still have a long way to go in terms of knowing the right things to do and say, but I guess we all learn by stumbling.

[AmaraG]

Hey somehow between all the changes at the Org, and my own little dramas--Ive been sick with some cold virus--I failed to see this post. I mean I knew you were taking it but didnt officially reply, which I feel I must do because youre one of the best posters here on the Org.
Im so excited for you Elle, and I do agree that this is the right decision for you. I am tired of seeing you feel bad about acne and with any luck at all this in a few months will be the end of it, for good!
My best wishes, and youre awesome hope you and Dr Ooi (lol) kick acne's A** :-D
Even in your before pictures we still see an attractve girl imagine how you will look and feel in a few months when youre clear. Hold onto that thought
A

Gutterflower, on 03 October 2011 - 06:30 PM, said:

I'm usually pretty upbeat and friendly too, but I'm so snappy lately, and my poor boyfriend is suffering because of it. I guess birth control pills are so effective because if he gets within a foot of me I just get angry. So hey, I can't get pregnant.

I found that one of the aspects of birth control pills is they do make you very touchy ,and you lose most of your sex drive. But if he loves you he will have to be extra nice )

Gutterflower, on 09 October 2011 - 06:15 AM, said:

Day 13

So, tomorrow will be my official two week mark... my skin is finally drying up a little. It seems to start out oily then become progressively drier as the day goes on. My lips are dry and peeling. The frustrating part of this isn't so much the peeling itself, is that I'm applying lip balm and it's getting mixed up in the peeling skin, and it all just feels like a waxy mess. Pardon the kind of disgusting detail there...

Anyway, I have a few new nodules, one big deep one on my cheek, two on my forehead above my eyebrows and a couple around my mouth that hurt. I'm trying to resist the urge to pick or squeeze them. Even when the scabs flake off by themselves, it leaves very new, pink skin exposed that I have to be especially careful with.

I should also probably note that since coming off of Yasmin I've broken out in papules/pustules around my mouth and along my jawline, which is why I don't like messing with my hormones. It always seems to go haywire. And I'm still so incredibly moody. I'm 90% my boyfriend is sick of me, because I get grumpy at him, and I cry about things, and I think I'm fat, and this and that... ah, I hate being a girl, it's lame...

Plus, tonight I got a text from him saying that he thinks my house breaks him out, and that he thinks it might be my problem. I don't really understand this since I've had acne since I was 11. I don't live in a castle, but my house is clean. He grew up in an upper-class environment, so we always have a bit of a clash of sorts going on there. I don't know if I'm just being especially touchy or not. I just don't like how it seems he is insinuating that I'm dirty, or my house is filthy or something.

Hes either being laconic--his way of saying he wants to stay out of your house--or he means something like old tobacco smoke, pet dander, or mold in your house. Theoretically mildew/mold could cause skin reactions but I dont think this is what he means. Some people really are neat freaks, in fact it is the one thing my husband and I fight over all he time. His mother was a cleaning freak, shampooed the garbage before throwing it out that kind of thing. Me, Im not dirty but I dont obsess over everything. I dont have orgasms over mopping the floors...if that makes me dirty to some people oh well, its my life!
Anyway ...hope you feel better Im sure the problem isnt you or your house. Its called "genetics" and "hormones". Dont let him get away with cheap shots.

[Gutterflower]

I can't really read him, because he lives away from home now in an apartment with his flatmate and his flat is a bachelor pad at best - not exactly clean-swab immaculate. Two 21-year-old guys living in a 50m2 apartment, you can probably imagine it. I basically got angry, told him that if my house is such a pressing issue to him, he didn't have to come over anymore. He backpedaled fairly quickly out of it at that. He's not the cleanest person in the world (leaves his food wrappers and fast food bags around my house even) but his childhood home is immaculate because his mother is pedantic about it. Ah well! The most I hope to get out of the confrontation is the understanding that I don't want him to tell me why he thinks I have acne and I don't want him to act like my house is as dirty as Satan's underfoot.

Haha, birth control pills work beautifully by killing your sex drive, thus reducing chance of pregnancy! "I'm on birth control so I don't get pregnant." "Awesome!" "But if you touch me I will tear off your arms and brutally murder you with them." "Not awesome."

Thank you Amara. I hope you're feeling better, too. I don't see much of you and Abi here anymore which makes me sad! You're two of my favourites.

[Gutterflower]

Day 17

Okay, I didn't realize it, but I was a day behind with my last post so today is actually day 17... this is sadly more difficult for me to keep track of than it actually should be.

At the moment, my skin is drying out a lot. My lips are ridiculous, but my eyes are reasonable. I broke out around my mouth a couple days ago, all of it is gone now. I've noticed that 'Tane tends to make everything scab over pretty quickly, so every pimple I get turned into a scab, then eventually flakes off and leaves clean new skin. I have one nodule coming up on my chin that's really sore, I can't see it yet but I'm pretty sure it'll have its own post code...

Anyway! Things are going really well thus far. I don't know if I want to go to 40mg or 60mg when I see my derm next... I'm tolerating the side effects at 20mg and it seems to be working alright at this dosage, but I also don't want to be on this course forever and 60mg will get it over and done with a little bit quicker. We'll see what happens.

The only thing I'm concerned about is that once I'm done with all this and I'm clear, I'll find some other thing to dislike about myself. Damnit. I am trying to get in shape during my course so once I'm all done I feel really good about myself. I run 6km a night, Accutane does make that a tad more difficult. I flush bright red and blotchy when I run now, but since I can't do it during the day due to burning like an ant under a magnifying glass, I run at night anyway.

Oh! And the itchy scalp thing, Head & Shoulders seems to deal with that pretty well.

[dimegirl]

Your log is hilarious! Definitely following it. I feel you on the peanut butter. It is the DEVIL.

[AmaraG]

Gutterflower, on 09 October 2011 - 08:05 PM, said:

I can't really read him, because he lives away from home now in an apartment with his flatmate and his flat is a bachelor pad at best - not exactly clean-swab immaculate. Two 21-year-old guys living in a 50m2 apartment, you can probably imagine it. I basically got angry, told him that if my house is such a pressing issue to him, he didn't have to come over anymore. He backpedaled fairly quickly out of it at that. He's not the cleanest person in the world (leaves his food wrappers and fast food bags around my house even) but his childhood home is immaculate because his mother is pedantic about it. Ah well! The most I hope to get out of the confrontation is the understanding that I don't want him to tell me why he thinks I have acne and I don't want him to act like my house is as dirty as Satan's underfoot.

Haha, birth control pills work beautifully by killing your sex drive, thus reducing chance of pregnancy! "I'm on birth control so I don't get pregnant." "Awesome!" "But if you touch me I will tear off your arms and brutally murder you with them." "Not awesome."

Thank you Amara. I hope you're feeling better, too. I don't see much of you and Abi here anymore which makes me sad! You're two of my favourites.

You two are my favorites also! Thanks for missinge me...I know that when I read your posts I usually get a smile somewhere no matter the subject you throw in that humor and its like "yeah I can totally relate to that".
Ill try and check these boards more often they dont really "notify" me as to when a person replies (