5 replies to this topic

[callthecops]

well i realized i need to stop picking, and a log would be a good way to help
at the bgng of july i took a long 12 hour plane ride where my face was horrible, there were 2 zits that i really wanted to pick at but i couldnt bc then my face would be all red, my mom would notice, etc. i kinda tried in the washroom but i couldnt and all that happened was i tore my skin and blood came out so i gave up. when we got to the country in europe i realized i didnt bring my tweezers, only had my grandmas weird ones to use, and there was no good mirror so the first couple of days i didnt pick. and my face was good, like ok i still had my red marks but i woke up and i didnt have any red splotches scattered among my face, until one day i had these 3 whiteheads and i popped them, then i picked some other stuff... and the redness returned lol
back home i was way worse, i would sit on the sink and pick my face in the mirror with tweezers. even if it wasnt a zit or anything. like if they were pores on my cheeks even, i would take the tweezers and squeeze so the stuff would come out, and they were just pores! nothing was the matter with them, how stupid! i guess i thought if i squeezed all that out then a new zit wouldnt develop or get inflamed because there was nothing to inflame or whatever lol. id do this to my face until i was all red like a freaking tomato and my eyes were tearing up because my face burned. and even if a zit was still like underground, i would pick and squeeze at the red skin. omg what is my problem
i never got diagnosed or whatever but a while back i read all these ocd things and took thee surveys and tests and im pretty sure i do have it, like i always need to do things in certain numbers, i double check the locks a lot, get anxious if something isnt right, when things are out of place they bother me, and so on
well today parts of my fave are a lovely shade of scarlet... my forehead has 3 active zits that are dying down (at least 2 are concealed by my hair), my right cheek is good but looking splotchy because of red marks, my left cheek has something small brewing near my nose and an inch under my eye, my nose is good but red, my chin has like 4 zits that hurt but are dying down just very red. i dont know if this is because i think my period is soon, i forgot to mark the last one on a calendar, i hope thats why... i cut out almost all sugar (cant cut out all when u have a mom like mine, still get my milk and cereal and yogurt) and took away all junk foods. i only had one active one on my forehead but ugh now im back to square one again, also i plucked my eyebrows so im kinda breaking out there. just lovely
im going back home in 12 days and i really hope i can stop picking or im gonna look like crap on the plane and im not gonna be able to sleep because its so loud and get tired and break out again, great, well i gotta say this is an improvement from my nightly tweezing on my sink days but ughhh i just look so horribly red and my makeup is crappy here, im gonna get some qbetter ones from shoppers drug mart when i get home... anyways so im gonna try to post here every time i wanna pick
like im still gonna pop the ugly whiteheads but im gonna try to leave alone the littlest dots or acne thats already dying down, hopefully this works

[callthecops]

ugh well i feel stupid, i still picked today.. thankfully my period came today so hopefully thats why i was breaking out right cheek's clear, nose is good, chin has about 3 small things that feel like they have a head, forehead's smooth but has this small red splotch from a small zit that i picked, left cheek the thing near my nose is flattening and not as red, but the worst thing is on my left cheek theres a cluster of 3 little whiteheads that i picked yesterday and today, ughh whats my problem... they're raised and since i picked they're red -.- today i didnt go anywhere and i didnt wear any makeup so that prob kept me from picking, knowing that i'd be red and splotchy. oh and i feel something growing that kinda hurts on my lower cheek but i didnt touch it...
yesterday on my cheek i had this hard bump that wasnt red but i was worried it'd get inflamed so i squeezed it out and some yellow shit came out, and today its flat but kinda red so idk how i feel about that... i also massacred the cluster on my left cheek, its pretty red right now so im shoveling on the moisturizer on that part lol. today i didnt wear makeup so i wont have to scrub at my face, hopefully it gets a break!
ok in the middle of writing this i popped a small whitehead on my chin, im glad because it finally came to a head so i didnt have to put super strength on it and only get like part of it out... i just wish my chin and left cheek would calm the fuck down lol

[callthecops]

ok first of all, hows my face doing... right cheek is clear, forehead is clear except for thise 2 red marks from the previous bitches, nose is clear but my right nostril is looking a bit red. my chin has 3 zits but theyre not too visible, like kinda red because i didnt pick, they have a whitehead thing but not fully like mostly flat idk how to explain lol. moving on to my left cheek... the over achiever -__- ok so the thing kinda close to my mouth is red but contained because i didnt pick it so the redness wouldnt spread and make my face a stoplight, i think theres 2 heads there but idk kinda scared to check lmao. and the cherry on top, ughh the cluster of 3 zits is freaking red, like theyre small except one of them, but red and painful, i think the redness got less red because last night it was worse.
so i feel like such a hermit crab, sloth, social piranha, whatever u call it right now because im not going outside. legit when i get home im gonna go outside and hang out with my best friend and schools soon.. i may mention this a lot but im just soo homesick. but here its just so blahhh. k whatever so im not gonna do any makeup today either, i find this kinda helped the overall tone of my skin. because i didnt have to apply so much pressure when i was washing, i almost nearly drowned under the showerhead until i realized it was detachable.. oops lol. ok so my stomach still hurts like a mf, im actually grateful for my period.. wtf. anyways i can stay home today, hopefully it still hurts tomorrow or i'll fake that it hurts because i have nooowhere to go here other than the grocery store or something. ugh cant wait to go home to my friends and not feel like such a loser
right so i decided im not gonna pick or anything, well i did have these weird bumps near my hairline under my hair which i scratched at but i didnt count that. im not gonna pop or pick at the whitehead things, lettts see how this goes, hopefully well

ok its now 10pm here, i still havent picked the thing on my nose has seem to have gone away altho i am in pretty dim yellow lighting here... one of the things on my chin is still there but not red, the other 2 that are close to eachother are still there but not red. theres actually 2 on my lower cheek and theyre freaking scarlet but pretty small splotch of red and theyve kinda come to a head. out of the 3 musketeers on my upper cheek, one of them is gone but left behind a nice gift aka a red mark because i picked it before making this log, one of them is flattened but left this ugly residue which hopefully comes off when i wash. and the evil leader of the pack is as red and painful as ever -___-

Edited by callthecops, 20 August 2011 - 12:18 PM.

[callthecops]

ok so first i kinda messed up.. there was a little little zit on the right side of the space between my nose and mouth, i scratched it off and theres a faint red circle around it, not too noticable. the thing on my chin looked ready so i gently pushed it with my fingers yesterday and it went out but during the night there was a bit more yellow but now its gone so thats good. and there was also a small whitehead on my forehead that i attempted to tweeze yesterday but i tried one time and stopped so this is good
right cheeks clear, nose is clear, forehead is clear except one painful lump thats kinda pink right before my hairline but its covered by my hair so im not worried about it, chin is the 2 small whiteheads in the corner which arent too noticable. lower left cheek, the 2 whiteheads decreased in size but are still white with a head and there, theres also a small third one by them -_- the thing by my nose/cheek the white stuff is gone, its a bit red with a bump though. out of the 3 musketeers on my upper cheek near my eye, the one that died stayed dead, one of them is still kinda raised but thats because of dried skin like theres no white stuff, and the evil boss decreased in size/height and the whole area isnt as red anymore
ok so this is good, nothing new except the thing on my forehead near my hairline i havent been moisturizing these past 2 days and my skins dry so i'll have to this night and perhaps use a washcloth to get the dead skin off because i need makeup if i wanna go anywhere... ugh i wish my face tone was better and didnt have these bitchy red marks k whatever, im glad the 3 musketeers are dying off even tho i didnt pick and it doesnt hurt at all when i move my face

Edited by callthecops, 21 August 2011 - 02:35 AM.

[uk_ladybird]

ok so first i kinda messed up.. there was a little little zit on the right side of the space between my nose and mouth, i scratched it off and theres a faint red circle around it, not too noticable. the thing on my chin looked ready so i gently pushed it with my fingers yesterday and it went out but during the night there was a bit more yellow but now its gone so thats good. and there was also a small whitehead on my forehead that i attempted to tweeze yesterday but i tried one time and stopped so this is good
right cheeks clear, nose is clear, forehead is clear except one painful lump thats kinda pink right before my hairline but its covered by my hair so im not worried about it, chin is the 2 small whiteheads in the corner which arent too noticable. lower left cheek, the 2 whiteheads decreased in size but are still white with a head and there, theres also a small third one by them -_- the thing by my nose/cheek the white stuff is gone, its a bit red with a bump though. out of the 3 musketeers on my upper cheek near my eye, the one that died stayed dead, one of them is still kinda raised but thats because of dried skin like theres no white stuff, and the evil boss decreased in size/height and the whole area isnt as red anymore
ok so this is good, nothing new except the thing on my forehead near my hairline i havent been moisturizing these past 2 days and my skins dry so i'll have to this night and perhaps use a washcloth to get the dead skin off because i need makeup if i wanna go anywhere... ugh i wish my face tone was better and didnt have these bitchy red marks k whatever, im glad the 3 musketeers are dying off even tho i didnt pick and it doesnt hurt at all when i move my face

[uk_ladybird]

I think I made a mistake posting a second ago OOOPS I am new but ANYWAYS!
I know exactly what you go through......I am a Picker........I have done all kinds of crap to my skin....but my favorite thing is getting a needle out and stabbing my ZIT now I have cysts and just realizing all the damage I have caused ..I have hit Rock bottom, I am 37 and CANT DO THIS anymore !

I know I am not the only one there are many many pickers.....and Im not sure even what reasons I do it....I think I am just looking for any tiny thing to get....and sadly if I left it, most times would be nothing! but then it turns into a huge skin knocked off and Scab gotta heal......its awful!

but not anymore.......I joined this Page......and hoping to get control of myself!

you can do it.....!!! dont give up.......its going to take time......
you may screw up and pick....but then you gotta hopefully get to a point where you will think NO STOP and walk away.....I really hope I can too