30 replies to this topic

[curtis19bunnies]

I completely can relate with the shortness issue. I'm 18, 5'7, and I have moderate acne. I don't see many short people with acne (hell, I don't see many people with acne in general). Most people (men) with acne are 6 foot or over. It's really depressing knowing not only am I short, but I also have acne. Fucking bullshit. Don't worry, God hates me too. I know the feeling.

The kicker is that shit skin and no height are unchangeable! Fat people can diet and exercise, flat girls can get surgery. And yet even though we have unchangeable features, society makes them dating prerequisites. The man has to be taller. The skin has to be clear. Then you date and worry about things like personality.

To tell you the truth, it's beyond fucking bullshit.

Your absolutely bloody correct mate. It's beyond fucking bullshit and completely unfair. But that's the way our society is heading. I'm glad to say this and other experiences have taught me to do what my gut tells me and think and act and dress how i want, not to look how society wants me to look.

The toughest part is worrying about what people are going to think and say to you based on their experiences. It makes you stick out to everyone, you look at others and feel like your not worth as much because they have great skin, again this is societies way of fucking with you. Society is a living breathing thing, it is what we make of it.

I'll tell you the truth mate, I got off facebook, stopped listening to all the fucking mainstream music that was played to me over and over again, told all my douchebag mates from highschool to take a hike and my whole life completely changed. I wasn't caught up in anyones bs anymore, I started making my own life, got a job. Sounds sorta silly but my society isn't as fucked up, lol.
I don't listen to the bs anyone tells me, I am friendly to everyone unconditionally and I go about my life, scars and all.

I'll get right down to it mate. You wanna have completely clear skin and be taller, that's not going to happen. You want a straight answer? You won't get one. You've got to get busy living or dying. Life isn't about being good looking or being attractive. You say that its bullshit that society expects you to have clear skin but then you complain that you don't have it. Can you not see how your setting yourself up for disaster? Man, have a beer, play a round of golf, go for a surf at sunset, work on your car, do something that can help you appreciate your life.

You sound like a pretty smart dude, but your picking out everyones responses and shooting em down.

Edited by curtis19bunnies, 08 August 2011 - 01:50 AM.

[Tyga]

Confidence comes from accepting who you are. All of what you are. If you're not going to accept what you are, then you're never going to be confident. Women are never attracted to men without confidence. They are not attracted to negativity.

What exactly is your definition of "accepting"?

We always hear and use the phrase "accept who you are," but nobody has ever really explained exactly what that means.

When I try to imagine "accepting" myself, I tend to imagine "loving" myself. But that I don't think is the proper translation of "accept." What do you think?

It's a straightforward answer. Accept your imperfections. Stop trying to change physical attributes that are beyond your control. You are not growing four inches anytime soon. Stop being miserable about your height and move on with your life. Unfortunately in your case, scarring and oily skin are things you have to live with. You don't have to love yourself. I don't love myself. I'm not happy with the genetics I received. I just accept it for what it is.

[AutonomousOne1980]

I've been seeing this derm for about a year now to treat my keloids. I have something like 30 of them, mostly on the chest, some on my shoulders.

We've done about 5 steroid injection sessions and 5 laser sessions throughout the last year.

The lasers haven't done jack shit. No redness improvement what-so-ever. On top of that, the flattened scars appear to be re-raising.

As a result, the derm said that's it, there's nothing that can be done. No other treatments exist. No more laser since the treatment just isn't working.

On top of that, I asked what to do about my freak oily skin. They said nothing can be done since it's genetic. Then on top of that, I still have acne (of course) and I'm a short guy in my early 20s.

So when you add up the disgusting scars that 99.999% of people don't have except me, the shortness, the acne, and the disgusting oily skin, I feel like a complete freak everyday of my life. Then, after years and multiple doctors of trying to fix the scars, they said there's nothing more that can be done for the scars. This is equivalent to saying that I will be a freak for the rest of my life.

So I'm posting this to ask, what should I do from here?

Please don't say 'live with it.' I hate being a below-average freak. Inside, I'm a tall, confident, attractive perfectionist who always wants to be ahead of the curve in every regard. But with this cursed body, no matter what I am on the inside, as soon as someone looks at me they think to themselves "short + shit skin = BELOW AVERAGE person." So, I'm depressed every single day and pretty much wish I was never born. What am I supposed to do?

there is someone that you are tall to or at least equal to. if you are not tall physically, be tall in other ways, metaphorically speaking.


another thing, if the derm was wrong about the laser and treatments working, then maybe they are just as wrong saying that "nothing else could be done", catch my drift? it doesnt sound like they are THAT reliable in the first place, why let another one of their "prophecys" have any merit whatsoever. maybe they are right this time may be they are wrong.

Im not trying to just cheer you up here, by distorting reality, what im saying is that perhaps things could improve slighlty for you, but nobody really knows that for sure. scars are usually pretty permanant but there is likely other treatments that can improve their appearance.

[Homer0001]

Man, have a beer, play a round of golf, go for a surf at sunset, work on your car, do something that can help you appreciate your life.

What if I want a beautiful girlfriend in order to appreciate life? Dating/relationships is the only hole in my life. The distractions/hobbies/activities you are talking about I've already got covered.

Thank you for an honest reply!

[Homer0001]

scars are usually pretty permanant but there is likely other treatments that can improve their appearance.

I'll definitely look for another derm, but trust me, these scars have very few treatments. The derm I have been seeing has the biggest set of balls of any derm I've ever seen, meaning that he's not holding back and is being as aggressive as possible at treating these scars. The alternative treatments just don't exist.

[HiImMatt]

Hi, I understand what you going through cause i have a very similar problem, except my scar are mostly hypertrophic and will fade in time, i also have WAY more than 30 of them, more like 80-100. So i feel your pain man, i really do. But you just cant go through life waiting for the moment you skin becomes perfect, sorry to say this but it wont. I used to hope for the same thing, all i wanted to do is wait, wait, wait...But nothing ever happened. I just got up and said f*ck this im not waiting anymore. After that, i pretty much just accepted that i'll have this problem for a long time or maybe even forever. Im 18, and i dont wanna be 40 years old still hoping my skin is going to get better, i want to get out and make something of myself, have fun, get married, no matter what it takes before i hit that age. So, what im saying is live you life no matter what it takes, accept yourself no matter what it takes.

Also, Listen to all this great advise that everyone has given to you. I would.

Also, the girl issue, heir, pretty much just summed that up for you. Confidence, confidence, is the biggest key to winning a girl, Girls love guys who make them feel special and wanted, you just have to try man. Dont end up the 40 year man siting and wondering what the hell happened with his life. Get up, get out and try too have fun. Dont give up. God bless

[lifelong confusion]

what's wrong with shorter guys? what's wrong with flat girls? wow, so what since im flat im automatically graded lower (thanks for enlightening me, i didn't know i was a freak until now)? and if a guy is shorter he's automatically graded lower? what a bunch of crap. so you're saying there's no way for me to be appreciated until i get a boob job? and there's no way for you to find someone to pay attention to you because of your appearance? let me tell you this. the first thing you need to have fixed is your superficial motherfucking attitude. and this one might make you happy: not all people are as shallow as you. you say you need a pretty girl to be with you. why do you put so much value into how hot they are? how can you possibly put it above, well i don't know, maybe real emotions and feelings like caring for each other, and being able to have fun and laugh and just be happy? has it ever occurred to you that maybe it's not your "flaws" that stop you from getting a girl, but more like your attitude?

[akko]

So basically OP is upset that people will use the same shallow judgment on him that he uses on other people.

Really, as others have pointed out, I think it's your attitude that needs to change. If you want a frank response, it's true that as a general rule, people will often end up with someone of an equal level of attractiveness. And yes, that's annoying if you really have your heart set on dating models. So you can grumble about that for the rest of your life. OR, you could gain some maturity, give up that sour attitude and start to look for a true partner, and not a piece of arm candy.

[canadian14]

I've been seeing this derm for about a year now to treat my keloids. I have something like 30 of them, mostly on the chest, some on my shoulders.

We've done about 5 steroid injection sessions and 5 laser sessions throughout the last year.

The lasers haven't done jack shit. No redness improvement what-so-ever. On top of that, the flattened scars appear to be re-raising.

As a result, the derm said that's it, there's nothing that can be done. No other treatments exist. No more laser since the treatment just isn't working.

On top of that, I asked what to do about my freak oily skin. They said nothing can be done since it's genetic. Then on top of that, I still have acne (of course) and I'm a short guy in my early 20s.

So when you add up the disgusting scars that 99.999% of people don't have except me, the shortness, the acne, and the disgusting oily skin, I feel like a complete freak everyday of my life. Then, after years and multiple doctors of trying to fix the scars, they said there's nothing more that can be done for the scars. This is equivalent to saying that I will be a freak for the rest of my life.

So I'm posting this to ask, what should I do from here?

Please don't say 'live with it.' I hate being a below-average freak. Inside, I'm a tall, confident, attractive perfectionist who always wants to be ahead of the curve in every regard. But with this cursed body, no matter what I am on the inside, as soon as someone looks at me they think to themselves "short + shit skin = BELOW AVERAGE person." So, I'm depressed every single day and pretty much wish I was never born. What am I supposed to do?

If your oily skin is on your face and not your body, try Levulan Kerastick Photodynamic therapy. It closed my sebaceous glands up, which feels like a friggin' miracle. You'll have a sunburn feeling for a few days, but it's worth it.

[Renegade Angel]

Bottom line, get another opinion. And another, and maybe some more, but don't give up hope. There is something that can improve these scars. Have you tried accutane at all?

As for the opinions others have given, sure maybe his attitude needs an adjustment, but I think telling someone with major scarring and freakin keloids that this is as good as it'll get is majorly depressing. If someone looked at me and told me I'd have my acne and scarring forever I'd be officially done.

Anyways, his condition is causing his attitude...not his attitude. If he didn't have skin problems, would he be as negative? Highly doubt it. So to everyone saying in so many words, "Accept it," it's, in my opinion, not helpful advice. Acne, and ESPECIALLY SCARRING is not something anyone wants to just get over and live with, especially when it affects so many aspects of a persons life.

[PatrickParker]

Go see another derm... Get a second opinion. We all can't be Tom Brady or Gisselle, but you got to keep your head up and keep trying to get better. As far as the height thing is concerned, move to peru or thailand... average height for those places is like 5'4 lol.

HiImMatt, on 12 August 2011 - 12:57 PM, said:

Also, the girl issue, heir, pretty much just summed that up for you. Confidence, confidence, is the biggest key to winning a girl, Girls love guys who make them feel special and wanted, you just have to try man. Dont end up the 40 year man siting and wondering what the hell happened with his life. Get up, get out and try too have fun. Dont give up. God bless

40 isn't that old junior lol.

Edited by PatrickParker, 23 January 2012 - 11:29 PM.